A Special Place in Hell

For people who ask whether or not it is cold enough out there for you when it’s so cold and windy that if you sneeze it flies back into your face and freezes on your cheek. I’ve been some pretty cold places (Baumholder, Germany, in the middle of winter with a heater broken on my tank), but this just sucks, and I’m older now.

Both my garage door and back door froze shut at various points, and I had to carry Lily outside to piss. And no, footies would not have helped. I opened the back door and she was three feet away and got hit in the face with a blast of frigid wind, immediately gave her “fuck that noise” face, and ran back into the bedroom under the comforter.

Big game tonight? We rooting for the Florida team for our favorite Cracker?

208 replies
  1. 1
    Elizabelle says:

    Yes, rooting for the Seminoles. Neighbor across the street is an alum. May head over there with champagne if game goes well.

  2. 2
    Elizabelle says:

    PS: poor Lily. Have never seen a pic of her in a sweater. Will she wear one, or does she act like you’ve just disabled her?

  3. 3
    burnspbesq says:

    Betty is a Gator. More than likely, she’s either rooting for Auburn out of conference loyalty or rooting for a meteorite strike to wipe out both teams.

    Personally, I’m half-rooting for the half-Noles out of ACC loyalty and residual disgust at the antics of the Situational Ethics Conference. However, if there is a decent basketball game on I won’t bother to watch.

  4. 4
    The Dangerman says:

    I’m rooting for FSU so the SEC streak is broken (Auburn has been living on miracles all season; I don’t think they have any left).

  5. 5
    PsiFighter37 says:

    The doormen of our building who were unceremoniously fired the week before Christmas by the hedge fund that bought out my apartment building are outside getting resident signatures to get reinstated. I seriously doubt that will convince those assholes to bring them back, but I signed it and got to give them their holiday tip (with some extra, given the shitty situation they are now in).

    I have no idea if they have any legal recourse or not, but they got shafted hard. I feel bad for the new doormen, as it’s not their fault, but you don’t give the boot to people the week before Christmas like that. That’s fucked up.

  6. 6

    Basketball player Dwayne Schintzius (a Univ. of FL product, I believe) once responded to the question “How’s the weather up there?” by spitting on the questioner and telling him “It’s raining”.

  7. 7
    GHayduke (formerly lojasmo) says:

    Neighbor’s car battery froze solid, one of my temporary squatter’s battery froze, so I spent way more time outside tham I wanted.

    something like -45 windchill during the day. Should be below -50 tonight.

  8. 8
    Schlemizel says:

    One of my best friends is a Gator (I forgive him, hes from Florida so it really can’t be helped) so I have to pretend there is no football game tonight out of respect to him.

  9. 9
    JPL says:

    @PsiFighter37: Mitt calls them the losers so it’s okay. Maybe they can just sell some stock to get by.

  10. 10
    Comrade Jake says:

    Rooting for the Seminoles because I’m tired of hearing about how awesome the SEC is.

  11. 11

    Employment update, my part-time status lasted exactly 4 hours, when it was time for me to leave the office and boss still had things he wanted me to do, told me to forget the whole part-time thing and just go back to normal. I think (although I am just guessing) that his buddy attorneys asked him what he was going to do when another attorney in town offered me a full-time position with benefits. When he announced that he was retiring several years ago (and then decided he didn’t want to economize when it came to his lifestyle) I had 14 job offers within 48 hours. I think he may have remembered that.

  12. 12
    Corner Stone says:

    Big game tonight? We rooting for the Florida team for our favorite Cracker?

    That is one complete fucking dick move.
    Kudos, Cole.

  13. 13
    Violet says:

    It’s cold down here in the southland too. Supposed to be 20 degrees tonight. That’ll set an almost 18 year record. Right now the clouds haven’t yet moved out. If they stick around it won’t be quite that cold but it’s already below freezing. I’m sure the papaya and bananas are done for.

  14. 14
    Fuzzy says:

    Just anybody who is not from the SEC. Go Injuns

  15. 15
    cathyx says:

    I’ll take my mid 40’s and rain any day over whatever is happening in the eastern US.

  16. 16
    Corner Stone says:

    @Litlebritdiftrnt: If he could find another paralegal to work for sub $15 per hour he probably would have.

  17. 17
    WaterGirl says:

    @PsiFighter37: Really appreciate the update! I have thought about your doormen several times since you first told us the story – good for them for trying to do something, anyway. I hope you’re not the only one to give them something extra beyond the tip they would have gotten anyway.

  18. 18
    Schlemizel says:

    I may have mentioned this before but our drain bamaged cat insists she wants to go outside. She will howl at the door & yell at us until we open the door. That cold blast hits her & she heads for the hills!. Then she is obviously angry with us. I have come to the conclusion she expects us to open the correct door – the one that goes to summer.

    -13 currently and the wind feels like cold razors opening any exposed flesh. If it were 45 degrees warmer water would still freeze!

  19. 19
    raven says:

    The SEC is awesome!

  20. 20
    WaterGirl says:

    @ranchandsyrup: I laughed out loud when I read that. I didn’t click the link to see if it’s a true story; I’d rather just believe that it is.

  21. 21
    Violet says:

    @Litlebritdiftrnt: Is there a reason you’re not looking around at those other potential jobs? This guy sounds like he’s kind of an ass to work for. Maybe you could get a raise, benefits, more time off and not have to work for a jerk who doesn’t know what a good thing he’s got in you.

  22. 22
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    Hey! No dissing on Baumholder! Baumholder is beautiful! My order of the Community Commander!

    My Professor of Military Science (the head guy at ROTC) when he found out my first duty assignment would be in Germany, wished me to Baumholder. Fortunately, I only visited the place, I was in Bad Kreuznach and then, later, Wiesbaden.

    Just visiting Baumholder (for three weeks training in February, when the temperature, fortunately, stayed below freezing the entire three weeks and we didn’t have to deal with the mud) was enough, thank you.

  23. 23
    themann1086 says:

    @Comrade Jake: Ditto. I’m still rage-blind angry about the 2011/2012 title game, whereby the SEC coaches rigged the polls to nudge Alabama past OK State for #2. It was a sham and a travesty, and ESPN dutifully dropped to its knees. Disgusting.

  24. 24
    debit says:

    Cole, my dog has cold sensitive feet and will not tolerate booties. It’s kind of a problem, since we live in Minnesota. I got in the habit of putting on my boots while still in my sleepwear just in case I had to go rescue her after her potty break. This winter I’ve been putting on Musher’s Secret on her feet and it really seems to help. She still does the sitting down and putting all four feet in the air if outside long enough, but the length of time she can tolerate the cold is longer. Just a tip for Lily’s tender tootsies.

  25. 25
    jharp says:

    Minus 9 here. And we got about 16 inches of snow yesterday.

    Had to shovel my driveway and deck 4 times yesterday.

    I’ve had enough for awhile.

    Oh and central Indiana so not really equipped to handle it properly. We had half the neighborhood plowed into their driveway and unable to get out today.

  26. 26
  27. 27
    Keith G says:

    Ahh….The time honored ritual of watching all the televised bowl games on and around the first of the year.

    Only the games aren’t televised in the old sense. Rent-seeking behavior has put this fine American tradition behind a paywall.

    I guess that’s okay since now the vast monies raised can be shared by those who actually do the work, the athletes.


    Well then, I guess they can apply a lot of that extra money to a fund to help with the life-long medical bills that athletes will accrue due to tattered and torn bodies injured in service of our entertainment.


    Well then fuck it. I’ll watch a movie.

  28. 28
    jharp says:

    Rooting for FSU and still reeling from the Ball State loss last night.

    Colts are 7 1/2 point underdogs at New England Saturday. Probably shouldn’t get my hopes up but the Colts are very unpredictable this year. They won at San Francisco and beat Seattle at home.

  29. 29


    If I have a fault it is that I am ridiculously loyal, even when it is not deserved. I stayed with my former boss for months even after I was not getting paid for several weeks. The final straw was her not paying me and taking delivery of $2,000 worth of shoes that she had bought in Charleston the previous week on a shopping spree with her sister. This current boss offered me a job around about the same time and I jumped on it. He really is dependent on me, and yes I know it sounds pathetic but it would be totally lost if I left. I think he figured that out today. I think he figured that throwing me under the bus was the last thing he should do.

  30. 30
    Royston Vasey says:

    @GHayduke (formerly lojasmo):

    -45F and -50F!
    Even in Celsius that’s -43C and -45C

    It would be a VERY cold day here if it dropped below +28F/-2C
    How the hell do you even move in temps that cold??

    RV in NZ (Currently a cool 70F/21C in Wellington)

  31. 31
    Laertes says:

    Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays

    …is equally annoying. Both are the kind of thing someone says when they feel the need to speak, and can’t think of a single goddamned thing worth saying.

  32. 32
    cathyx says:

    See? Clearly there is no such thing as global warming.

  33. 33
  34. 34
    Anne Laurie says:

    @Litlebritdiftrnt: Congratulations!

    You probably still want to update your CV, though, just in case one of your boss’s friends is inspired to make you an offer…

  35. 35
    danielx says:


    An old Heinlein short story called The Door Into Summer, wherein the lead character had a cat that did exactly the same thing. Household felines here aren’t even approaching the doors, except for the one going out to the garage to use his litter box.


    Fourteen below and so cold the air feels antiseptic or something, or at least it did during the two minutes I spent outside today. Evening news had a story about some kid who spent fifteen minutes outside without gloves or mittens and ended up in the ER with frostbite…

  36. 36
    Violet says:

    @Litlebritdiftrnt: Good for you for being loyal. But loyalty should go both ways. Your boss may be pathetic, but he’s perfectly happy to make your New Year (and was it Christmas too?) miserable by informing you that your hours would be cut. He may need you but he doesn’t seem to know it until his back is against the wall. That’s not really loyalty. It’s more like desperation on his part.

    A little strategic networking to find out how much your skills are worth in your community might net you some key information. At the very least you’d have a better sense of what you’re worth. That information might let you negotiate a raise, more time off, better benefits, less work load–something. And who knows–maybe a great job is out there waiting for you.

  37. 37
    Laertes says:


    I admire your loyalty. That’s a virtue that’s worth cultivating, and ought to be recognized.

    But there have got to be limits, and a reasonable bright-line test is reliable payment of wages promised and earned. I’ve seen many cases of people hanging on when the pay got wobbly, and I can’t recall a single such case in which they didn’t later regret it. Even if the employer is a mensch (which doesn’t apply in the case you describe) that’s just always a sign that big trouble has arrived and bigger trouble is coming and it’s time to cut one’s losses.

  38. 38
    shelly says:

    For people who ask whether or not it is cold enough out there for you

    As bad as when people jollily ask ‘hot enough for you?’ when it’s 99degrees and 100% humidity?

    Yup, like everybody else, the temp’s are taking a nose-dive tonight. Made sure everythings put away and battened down. Brought in a couple of bottles of wine that were still in the car. Cause last week the trunk froze shut when we had another sub-freezing day. Now, you can keep vodka in the freezer. But if it gets down to 7 degrees, I think a bottle of Pinot Grigio will turn to slush.

  39. 39
    Karen in GA says:


    I have come to the conclusion she expects us to open the correct door – the one that goes to summer.

    She’s not the only one. Open the damned door already!

    I took Iggy out this afternoon in 25 degree weather with nasty cold wind gusts. Little bastard did what I took him outside to do, and then wanted to stay outside. He was looking at homes of neighbors that he knows also have dogs, as if to say, “Where’d everybody go?”

    Everybody’s inside, trying to keep warm, like normal mammals. You fluffy little freak.

    It’s even colder now and I have to take him out again in a little while. What’s this about dog booties? Are they a requirement for all dogs, or does it depend on the breed?

  40. 40
    MelissaM says:

    Here in Central IL, the dog is giving me looks for not taking her for a walk, despite the fact that I had her out earlier today and after half a block, she was limping so I carried her in. Last night, trying to get her out the back door for bizniz, a gust of wind hit and she scooted back in a no-way-in-hell motion. Ah, her memory must be quite short.

  41. 41
    shelly says:

    Then she is obviously angry with us. I have come to the conclusion she expects us to open the correct door – the one that goes to summer.

    Yes! I know my dog is convinced that, since I obviously can control the lighting and the temperature in the house, why can’t I control the weather outside.

  42. 42
    Mnemosyne says:


    I’m with the crowd that thinks you should update your resume and be prepared for the next time this guy dicks you around. Think of it as your own personal “three strikes” rule.

    One of the advantages to working for a Giant Evil Corporation is that it makes it hard for one’s boss to personally screw you over. They can screw people company-wide, but it’s really hard for a boss to single-handedly reduce hours and stuff like that.

    ETA: Apparently the hot new thing in resumes is to have a “Profile Statement” instead of an “Objective.” Kind of funny how fads come and go in resumes.

  43. 43
    Anne Laurie says:

    Cole, stop being such a stubborn… person, and buy Lily a nice sweater. Given how much time you say she spends under the comforter, she won’t mind wearing it around the house all day while the cold spell lasts, and it’ll make her more comfortable in the biting wind. Poor girl can’t help her subtropical genes!

    And think of the extra joy you’ll bring all your favorite commentors, as they critique your fashion choices

  44. 44
    PaulW says:

    My mom is pure War Eagle. And as a Gator alum, I got no love for FSU.

    Auburn for the win 44-34

  45. 45
    The Dangerman says:

    @Anne Laurie:

    …and buy Lily a nice sweater.

    Or go with the Musher’s Secret mentioned previously (and make sure you never confuse Musher’s with the Mustard, if you should ever find it).

  46. 46
    Mnemosyne says:

    BTW, Cole, you should probably have someone look at the innards of FYWP — it’s been eating comments again, especially when you include an outside link.

  47. 47
    JPL says:

    I’m not looking forward to bringing out the mutt in the morning. He refuses coats and sweaters and since he walks on two front feet while peeing, I’m not sure they’d stay dry. That’s my finch.

  48. 48
    tybee says:

    @Keith G:

    well, there are ways….

  49. 49
    JPL says:

    My game prediction is simple.. the team that can maintain possession, wins. I just listened to the ESPN and that seems to be the announcers are saying. If I were a betting person, I’d go with Florida State.

  50. 50
    El Caganer says:

    What about Rosie’s reaction to the cold? My fox terrier mix (sort of looked like Rosie, a bit larger) liked snow, but she wore a sweater. Wouldn’t take anything on her feet, though, so I wouldn’t have her outside for long when there was snow on the ground.

  51. 51
    The Dangerman says:


    If I were a betting person, I’d go with Florida State.

    I’ll go one further and say this will be like last year (Bama/ND) and not be close. FSU in a rout.

  52. 52
    Betty Cracker says:

    Burnsie got it right — as a Gator, I’d root for the Taliban over the damn Seminoles. SEC to make it eight straight!

  53. 53
    tybee says:

    go free shoes!

    (native tallahasseean and grew up just east of auburn)

  54. 54
    raven says:

    @Betty Cracker: I’ll settle for a great game. The only National Championship Game I have been at was the Noles and the Hokies. I was for the Hokies and, even though they ended up getting buried, Vick leading the comeback was the greatest performance I’ve ever seen.

  55. 55
    raven says:

    @tybee: Carrollton?

  56. 56
    burnspbesq says:

    The snowballing revelations of ongoing academic fraud at UNC are so appalling that I can’t even get any schedenfreude out of them.

  57. 57
    IowaOldLady says:

    Have you ever seen these dog cartoons? They include a dog dealing with moving, snow, and being forced to wear booties:


  58. 58
    tybee says:



  59. 59
    raven says:

    @tybee: Across from sin city!

  60. 60
    Betty Cracker says:

    @The Dangerman: I hope you’re wrong. I’ve got a quarter on Auburn!

  61. 61
    Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader says:


    BTW, Cole, you should probably have someone look at the innards of FYWP — it’s been eating comments again, especially when you include an outside link.

    John has been intermittently banning you for shits and giggles, and because you suck.

  62. 62
    tybee says:


    yes, phenix city, the only u.s. city taken over by the military since the civil war.

    when we moved to columbus, my grandmother was convinced we’d all be murdered in our sleep by the criminals from alabama. and saban wasn’t there yet.

  63. 63
    mellowjohn says:

    landed at o’hare last nite on the way home from jamaica. -16 over nite; high of -12 today, with wind chills in the -30 to -45 all day. (i know: boo-fucking-hoo, you were in jamaica.)

    don’t care about auburn. hate fsu, primarily because of that stupid tomahawk chop. gonna watch the first episode of downtown abbey and the finale of treme instead.

  64. 64
    JaneE says:

    Cat person here. Why not get Lily a yard of fake grass with piddle pads underneath to absorb the urine? Or just piddle pads?

  65. 65
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader:

    The cruelest thing is that he was doing it to other people at the same time just to cover up his diabolical plan!

  66. 66
    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN) says:

    I’m home. The car’s at the shop, key dropped through the after hours slot. I’ll learn the damages tomorrow.

    My mother sent me an email this morning telling me that they learned living in Philadelphia decades ago that if your water pipes are in an outside wall you need to keep the water dripping so they don’t freeze. I told her that no home builder that wants to keep getting work in Minnesota would put water pipes in an outside wall.

  67. 67
    danielx says:

    @Anne Laurie:

    I have an old fleece jacket (like fifteen years old) that someone can perhaps remodel into a dog sweater/jacket. I pulled it on this evening and some miscreant has clearly washed it in warm water and dried it on high.

  68. 68
    Mnemosyne says:


    If the 1950s movie they made about it can be believed, the townspeople totally deserved it. And that version was made under strict censorship.

  69. 69

    @Violet: @Laertes: @Mnemosyne: You are all of course correct. He would not think twice about throwing me under the bus come the next financial crisis. It is just stunning to me to think that a business man like him would think that the solution for not making enough money would be working LESS hours. That is so fucked up.

  70. 70
    raven says:

    @mellowjohn: Negril? Did you see the Abbey video I posted last thread?

  71. 71
    Old Dan and Little Ann says:

    I love heavy breathing on my dog’s leash for 30 seconds before it unfreezes and I can clasp it to his collar. -15 here. And whoever chooses to watch the ESPN2 feed with the multiple talking heads is severely deranged.

  72. 72
  73. 73
    tybee says:


    i assure you that the folks across the river deserved it and didn’t learn much from the experience either.
    if they ever give the earth an enema, the hose will either go into phenix city or philadelphia and my money is on sin city.

  74. 74
    raven says:

    @Mnemosyne: Their job was to separate us from our money.

  75. 75
    Anne Laurie says:

    @Karen in GA:

    What’s this about dog booties? Are they a requirement for all dogs, or does it depend on the breed?

    Booties are good for all dogs who walk on salted streets, because the chemicals aren’t great for their pads & are liable to be licked off, which is worse. Apart from that, it depends on both the dog & the temperature. Dogs like Lily, with very little hair on their toes, feel snow & ice more than ‘northern’ breeds with hairy hobbit toes (like my papillons & your IIRC schnauzer). But for the Iditarod, even the born-and-bred-for-snow sled dogs wear booties.

    Mushers Secret, or similar wax compounds, are more useful as a barrier against salt/ice than for keeping the toes warm, but for a dog who’s only taking a brief trip on sidewalks, it’s probably quite enough.

    In my experience, some dogs fight against wearing booties harder than they do waxes, while others really REALLY object to the feel of the wax on their pads. In most cases, it takes a few tries for any dog to connect the idea of ‘unfamiliar stuff on my feets’ with ‘now my paws don’t hurt so much’ — some fight harder than others. Part of the problem for us urbanites is that the deathly cold spells don’t last… by the time the dog stops fighting, it’s warmed up enough/the snow’s melted enough that the person on the other end of the leash gives up the experiment.

  76. 76
    tybee says:

    and it worked quite well.

  77. 77
    WereBear says:

    @Litlebritdiftrnt: Woo hoo!

    At least he figured it out rather quickly.

    Fortunately, I was working at home today; it was ugly. All the snow melted, then there was snow sideways, and it’s getting down to 8 tonight.

    I wish it would pick a trend and stay with it!

  78. 78
    raven says:

    @tybee: You know the Cav even took it with them:

    Sin City’ An Khe, Vietnam 1966

  79. 79
    Roger Moore says:


    rooting for a meteorite strike to wipe out both teams.

    As a resident of Pasadena, I’d rather there not be a meteor strike large enough to wipe out both teams. Can we have a blimp crash, or maybe a mass shooting by a deranged Big 10 fan instead?

  80. 80
    raven says:

    @Roger Moore: You mean the kind that thinks the B1G is as good as the SEC?

  81. 81
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    Just posted this on my FB status:

    January 6, 2014

    My pre-frontal cortex
    Is having trouble coping with this polar vortex.

    I could use a pound, or a kilo,
    Of fur and firewood now that we’re heading for 12 below.

    I’m gnashing my one remaining molar
    To stay warm in these temperatures polar.

    Although I find it somewhat pleasing
    To consider that some of my Facebook friends live in temperatures even further below freezing.

    And despite the fact that I am an Old
    I can remember very few occasions in my life when it was this cold.

  82. 82
    jharp says:


    I was lucky enough to be at the Ohio State/Miami Florida title game in 2003.

    Pretty amazing game. Especially for OSU fans.

  83. 83
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @tybee: Good old Exit 3.

  84. 84
    tybee says:


    pretty funny.
    i do recall the sky being filled with hueys when the 1st was training at benning but i was but a tyke then. had some good times with some officer’s kids on benning later on.

  85. 85
    Cacti says:

    If you don’t like living in a place with shitty winters, move to one that doesn’t have them.

    That’s what I did 11 years ago.

  86. 86
    Schlemizel says:


    I was thinking of that book when I wrote that. I have never had a cat like this one. We have always allowed our cats out in our yard when we are with them and it always took them a time or two in the winter to remember it was winter. There were not happy it was winter but they accepted it. This one however seems to think its all my fault

  87. 87
    Jay C says:


    “Fucked up” pretty much sums that sorry story up — where do you live? We live in Manhattan, so taking care of building staff is just a part of life: but in Gotham, they have a strong union which seldom lets buildings – or their owners, however elevated – do crap like mass firings. And if they do, they insist on a union shop for the new folks: so mass cleanouts rarely save anybody anything.

  88. 88
    tybee says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    i was about halfway between exit 4 and exit 5 on the old exit numbers.

    old numba 3 wasn’t quite to benning.
    buena vista road.
    pronounced “beeyoona vista”.

  89. 89
    raven says:

    @tybee: It was the 11th Air Assault Division that trained at Benning. They “re-flagged” and switched with the 2nd ID, Korea. The story (often called untrue) is that they lost their colors in the Korean War and couldn’t come back stateside until they won them back in battle.

  90. 90
    may says:

    I don’t get all the complaining about the cold. It is cold! Here in the north it should be as cold as it was a few days ago for weeks. I’m not so old and I remember minus 20 F as a common January temp. This is just the upper Conn. River Valley. It should be cold.

    As to the dogs, they hate it! Even the husky is all about not going out.

    Deep breath and onward.

  91. 91
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Cacti: You have never once complained about the heat, right? There is a difference between complaining about an individual weather event – a blizzard, a cold snap, etc. – and hating an entire season.

  92. 92
    raven says:

    This is not an ACC defense girls.

  93. 93
    Cacti says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    You have never once complained about the heat, right? There is a difference between complaining about an individual weather event – a blizzard, a cold snap, etc. – and hating an entire season.

    I actually moved to southern California originally, and the heat there was never too terrible. Circumstances dragged me to Arizona. But here or there, I miss real winter not even a little bit.

  94. 94
    raven says:

    Did the 1st Cavalry Division lose its colors?

    The 1st Cavalry Division remained in Japan and South Korea after the war until June 1965, when its colors were transferred to Fort Benning, Ga., and the unit was dispatched to Vietnam, said Richard L. Baker, of the U.S. Army Military History Institute in Carlisle.

    “Until 1965 the division simply wasn’t located in the U.S. proper, so few if any individuals would have been seen wearing the patch,” Baker said in an e-mail.

    Unfortunately, the rumor about the 1st Cavalry Division losing its colors gave rise to disgraceful sayings about the division’s combat patch, including, “The horse they never rode, the line they never held, the color running down their back,” said Rob Dalessandro, of the U.S. Army Center for Military History at Fort McNair in Washington, D.C.

  95. 95
    tybee says:

    1st air cav was at benning when i started paying attention to the military.

  96. 96
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @tybee: I was at Benning for OCS and jump school. Exits 3 and 5 were the main ones we ever got to. Wasn’t/isn’t Ranger Joe’s at exit 5? And, IIRC, William Calley managed a jewelry store in a strip mall at exit 3. There was a Shoney’s right across the street from the store where he allegedly worked.

  97. 97
    raven says:

    @tybee: Yea they did get sent back there. I think they are at Hood now.

  98. 98
    raven says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Follow You!

  99. 99
    Steeplejack says:


    Ah, so it’s not just me.

  100. 100
    Betty Cracker says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: Ha! It’s even cold here. Supposed to get into the upper 30s tonight, and the wind is blowing like mad.

  101. 101
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @raven: I never wanted to be infantry. I do, however, have photos of mom and dad pinning on my bars in front of the big Follow Me statue in front of Building 4.

  102. 102
    Botsplainer says:

    My outdoor thermometer says 10 below. I took the dog out to pee, and the dipshit decided he wanted to stay out to play, and then to lay on the ground chewing an old frozen bagel.

  103. 103
    raven says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: And well you should! Got your blood wings too.

  104. 104
    fleeting expletive says:

    Stupid smoke alarm went off 3 times last night, starting at 2:30 am, and just now went off again. Each time I of course jumped up and inspected the house but there’s nothing amiss. Could that just be the battery? With every other one I’ve had, if the battery starts to go it will just cheep a couple of times. I am annoyed. But of course the next time I’m out I’ll buy new batts for it.

  105. 105
    PsiFighter37 says:

    @Jay C: I live in Manhattan, somewhere in the nexus between Gramercy, Flatiron, and Murray Hill.

  106. 106
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @Betty Cracker:

    If I recall my Tampa years accurately, that is some wicked cold!

  107. 107
    tybee says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    there was a shoney’s at at both old exit 1 and at old exit 4. don’t remember one at 3 but it’s been a while ago.
    rusty calley was employed, at least at some time, at a jewelry store at exit 4 (the old rosemont shopping center). used to ride my bike to that shopping center to hang out.
    i’ve been to ranger joe’s but don’t recall exactly where it was. i’m thinking it was at exit 1 as that’s where all the sojer boys where. i could be wrong.
    a detail: i do recall harassing the cadets from west point when they visited benning and the “visitors” to the school of the americas. was warned by a ranger captain that you could pick on the cadets (they had too much to lose to fight with the locals) but them furriners had no such issues.
    good times.

  108. 108
    raven says:

    FSU doesn’t know whether to shit or go blind.

  109. 109
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    For those who don’t care about the game, The Third Man is about to start on TCM.

  110. 110
    raven says:

    Someone just posted the menu from the hot dog joint I went to as a kid. Chili Dog .40 w/Fries .45!

  111. 111
    Schlemizel says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I love that movie! Wife hates it so I won’t be seeing it again. Seriously though the whole thing is a lesson in how to make a movie.

  112. 112
  113. 113
    ruviana says:

    @Betty Cracker: This is the attitude I respect and understand. As a UCLA alum, there are no circumstances on earth that I would ever ever root for USC,

  114. 114
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @tybee: It must have been Exit 4 then. It was 25 years ago. And Ranger Joe’s is on Victory Drive, so that should be Exit 1.

    Yes, I remember it well.

    @Steeplejack: Cool, thanks.

  115. 115
    WaterGirl says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: In all the discussions of Sherlock returning on january 19, do you know if anyone has mentioned the show “Sherlock: Unlocking Sherlock” ? It’s scheduled for january 12.

  116. 116
    Violet says:

    @Litlebritdiftrnt: He doesn’t sound like he’s the smartest businessman. You’re talented and sounds like you are also in demand. That’s a good position to be in. No need to waste your talents. Have a look around. Talk to some folks in your area. See what you’re worth. Then have a chat with your boss or the other lawyer you mentioned who sounds like he values you. Make sure they know they can’t pull that “cutting your hours in half” shit again and that you know your own worth.

  117. 117
    Betty Cracker says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: Yep — cold for us. I’m a good bit south of Tampa.

    @raven: They don’t know if they should scratch their watches or wind their butts!

    ETA: How do you miss that goddamn field goal? My granny could’ve kicked that one through the uprights!

  118. 118
    PurpleGirl says:

    @raven: Hilarious.

  119. 119
    raven says:

    @ruviana: That’s what makes this one hard for me. Auburn-Georgia is ofter characterized as “brothers”. My boss and co-worker are both grads (even though she has one grad degree and is working on her doctorate at Georgia) and die-hards. It just sucks that we gave this fucking team one of the two miracles they needed to get where they are. I guess I’d like to see the team that we should have beaten win it all.

  120. 120
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @WaterGirl: Not that I know of.

  121. 121
    dexwood says:

    Aussie wool dog coats. They’re great. Easy to put on and take off. Two of my dogs who hate sweaters will wear these coats without drama. Being wool, they stay warm even when wet, unlike acrylics and cotton. They block the wind and snow. My third and smallest dog, brings me his when he wants to go out on cold mornings.

  122. 122
    tybee says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:
    i was long gone by ’88.

    still have relatives there, visit a few times a year and do plan on doing the whitewater course they’ve created downtown on the ‘hooch.

  123. 123
    Karen in GA says:

    @Anne Laurie: Thanks for the boot info. Also, you remembered correctly, Iggy is a (slightly oversized) mini Schnauzer.

    And I’m convinced he’s part penguin. I took him out, and he had no problem with the cold. I, OTOH, was miserable. But then, I’m not part penguin. He is. The little mutant freak.

    We’re in a small exurban subdivision — no salt anywhere to be found. Which is a very good thing, because I hadn’t thought of the danger/discomfort it might pose to Iggy. Wow.

  124. 124
    Steeplejack says:

    I hate Brent Musburger. I’m lazy, but I’m almost to the point of of sync’ing the SiriusXM audio with the TV so I don’t have to listen to him.

    ETA: My nightmare game would be Musburger and Al Michaels doing a sort of “Dueling Banjos” tag-team thing. Brr!

  125. 125
    raven says:

    @tybee: Now that they took the dam out.

  126. 126
  127. 127
    Betty Cracker says:

    BOOM! 21-3.

  128. 128
    raven says:

    @Steeplejack: On the “megacast” ESPN Classic will show the game broadcast — minus the announcers — with mics picking up sideline and public-address sounds.


  129. 129
    tybee says:


    i need to do that once in a raft to see it.

    then i need to take the yak….

  130. 130
    Karen in GA says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: Bravo!

    Now I feel like I’ve been in Georgia for a long time — I’ve been correcting people who’ve been saying “It’s never been in single digits here!” Yes it has, about 10 years ago. I used to work an overnight shift, and I smoked, which meant I’d frequently venture outside in the wee hours o’ the morning. I remember showing up at the office one night dressed in layers with my hat pulled down over my head, scarf, etc. — extremely bundled up. I distinctly remember the forecast calling for a low that night of 8 degrees.

    I was a determined smoker.

  131. 131
    Anne Laurie says:

    @Steeplejack: Well, ERBurroughs is not exactly an unbiased source when it comes to the Irish or Irish-Americans!

    Seriously, “mucker” certainly has thuggish aspects, but it’s also political. The nun who taught religion in my fifth-grade class said that St. Peter was a mucker — the guy was a hothead, violent, and denied ever knowing his leader when the chips were down, but he still got to be the first pope. William Calley was a mucker, or H.R. Haldeman; Nixon wanted to be, but he didn’t have sufficient self-regard to just ignore the naysayers and cleave fearlessly to his own immediate best interests, history be damned. Putin is a mucker (or whatever the Russian word for the species is); so was GWBush, and Tony Blair. Muckers aren’t natural leaders, they have no charisma, and when they end up at the head of the party it’s usually due to a series of flukes and seldom ends well for either them or their party. (St. Peter was supposed to have been crucified, eventually.)

  132. 132
    Violet says:

    So far the clouds are hanging in and the temps haven’t dropped. It’s cold, but it’s hovering around freezing. None of this temps in the 20’s stuff yet. We’ll see how it goes.

  133. 133
    raven says:

    @Karen in GA: I moved here in 84 and the winter of 85 was a killer. I lived out in the country in Oconee and, while we were in Illinois for xmas, all our pipes froze and burst. Luckily they were pvc so I laid in the mud and replaced them.

  134. 134
    raven says:

    Fuck it, DVR set.

  135. 135
    tybee says:

    @Karen in GA:

    in 1985, it was 3 in savannah.

  136. 136
    Corner Stone says:

    @Violet: I had a call today with a friend of mine in Chicago.
    I completely wimped out over “how cold” it is here, and how we’re all dying.
    I could not be sure but I think he wanted to reach through the tubes and choke me.

  137. 137
    Corner Stone says:

    @raven: C’mon, old timer! You got to stick this one out, dawg!

  138. 138
    Corner Stone says:

    In what version of a reality are we existing where we shift from analysis from Nick Saban directly to Lee Corso?
    That was some kind of whiplash bullshit, right there.

  139. 139

    @fleeting expletive:

    Is it for sure only a smoke alarm, or is it one of those combination smoke and CO2 alarms? Because you could be having a problem with your furnace that’s causing an excess of CO2, very common in the winter when vents get blocked off by ice and/or snow. You should probably get that checked out just to be sure.

  140. 140
    danielx says:


    They did get their asses pretty thoroughly kicked in Korea at one point, if you call having two regiments cut to pieces getting your ass kicked. Don’t know about losing any flags.

    Thanks, Douglas MacArthur!

  141. 141
    Corner Stone says:

    Is nobody watching this fucking NCAAF Championship?

  142. 142
    tybee says:

    @Corner Stone:

    it’s half time.

  143. 143
    Corner Stone says:

    @tybee: Oh, sorry. Thought this was an old home week thread.

  144. 144
    tybee says:

    between plays, it is.

    and both teams’ towns bring back memories.

    so hui tebe, tovarisch.

  145. 145
    Corner Stone says:

    Fuck it. Imma watch some intertube videos on aquaponics.

  146. 146
    tybee says:

    ground up georgians make excellent hydroponic fertilizers

  147. 147
    Cassidy says:

    Watching the SEC win is always fun.

  148. 148
    Steeplejack says:


    You’ve got the wrong song. For the almighty hawk it’s “Dead End Street.” The only bird mentioned in your song is an eagle, as in “the eagle flies on Friday” (payday).

  149. 149
    Corner Stone says:

    FSU has to put points on the board here.

  150. 150
    MattR says:

    Coldest I experienced was Winnipeg about 10 years ago. It was somewhere in the -10 range (fahrenheit) without wind chill and we were outdoors at a funeral. Made me finally appreciate the need for heated car seats.

  151. 151
    Corner Stone says:

    Or, FSU could just get their balls blitzed off.
    Either way, I guess.

  152. 152
    Corner Stone says:

    Why does the QB for FSU look like Geordi LaForge when he has his visor taken away from him?

  153. 153
    Corner Stone says:

    I thought FSU was supposed to have the better offense?

  154. 154
    Betty Cracker says:

    @Corner Stone: OMG, he does!

  155. 155
    Steeplejack says:

    @Anne Laurie:

    My point was that mucker has a history and definition beyond your somewhat parochial Irish interpretation. In particular, it’s not specifically a political reference to someone in a position of power, as you seemed to indicate. A Peter King or a Putin may well be a mucker—a thug, a dirty fighter always looking for the main chance, ethics be damned—but a mucker is not automatically someone in power. And Tony Blair a mucker? Dubya? They wouldn’t get their hands dirty. William Calley? Puh-leeze.

    And Edgar Rice Burroughs’s views on the Irish don’t come into it. Mucker is not a specifically Irish word. It comes from the Middle English muk and has had its current connotations since the 19th century. English literature has plenty of references to muckers that have nothing to do with the Irish.

  156. 156
    Steeplejack says:

    @Corner Stone:

    Thank you, football Albert Einstein.

  157. 157
    Steeplejack says:

    @Corner Stone:

    I was thinking Peele (of Key and Peele) in one of their football sketches.

  158. 158
    ThalarctosMaritimus says:

    “but this just sucks, and I’m older now”

    When even the polar bears are packing it in, you don’t need to explain.


  159. 159
    Corner Stone says:

    @Steeplejack: Go screw.
    There ain’t no other fool chitter chatterin’ bout this here dust up.
    So, might’s as well do my best ESPN anal ist impression.

  160. 160
    Corner Stone says:

    Has there been an actor since Clark Gable who totally owned that cheesy mustache as well as George Clooney?

  161. 161
    Steeplejack says:

    @Corner Stone:

    I’m sort of half watching it, but it’s oddly unexciting. Maybe I’m just mad because if my Missouri Tigers had beaten Auburn they would probably be in this thing.

    ETA: “Oddly unexciting.” Maybe Musburger’s voice is just giving me a raging soft-on.

  162. 162
    Corner Stone says:

    That was nasty by Auburn special teams.

  163. 163
    Corner Stone says:

    Jane Wilder? Is this Romancing the Stone ?

  164. 164
    Corner Stone says:


  165. 165
    tybee says:

    @Corner Stone:

    joan was the wilder in RTS

  166. 166
    Keith P says:

    Auburn has quite the defensive strategy – pressure the redshirt freshman. And their offensive strategy – assume the FSU secondary, like most college teams, sucks – is working like a charm so far.

  167. 167
    Corner Stone says:

    Go Geordi! Recalibrate the reflector dish! Or something!

  168. 168
    Corner Stone says:

    Old people.
    What are you gonna do, amirite?

  169. 169
    Betty Cracker says:

    Come on, Auburn.

  170. 170
    Corner Stone says:


  171. 171
    tybee says:

    come on, shoes.

  172. 172
    Betty Cracker says:

    Damn. There was an elderly couple who lived down the road from us. They died within a few months of each other last year. They were both RABID Auburn fans from Alabama. If they weren’t already dead, this game would probably kill them.

  173. 173
    BillinGlendaleCA says:

    @ruviana: Agreed, never root for $C for ANYTHING. FSU reminds me of $C in a few ways: colors, band, etc.

  174. 174
    tybee says:

    here we go. i hope.

  175. 175
    Betty Cracker says:


  176. 176
    Corner Stone says:


  177. 177
    tybee says:

    go for 2

  178. 178
    Corner Stone says:

    Is that dude 5’4″ ??

  179. 179
    tybee says:

    i guess not.

  180. 180
    Corner Stone says:

    A 4.37 40yd dash?
    How many human beings can we have at one time who can run a sub -4.4 40yd dash?

  181. 181
    Corner Stone says:

    FSU is feeling it now.

  182. 182
    Corner Stone says:


  183. 183
    Steeplejack says:

    Holy shnikeys!

  184. 184
    Betty Cracker says:


  185. 185
    BillinGlendaleCA says:

    @Corner Stone: As is Auburn.

  186. 186
    Corner Stone says:

    Fucking Perry Mason running for days and days!

  187. 187
    tybee says:


  188. 188
    Corner Stone says:

    If they don’t squib kick this they deserve to lose.

  189. 189
    Betty Cracker says:

    Has this been an awesome bowl season or what? I wasn’t always happy with the outcomes, but there have been a lot of close, exciting games.

  190. 190
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    As De la Soul reference? From Musburger?

  191. 191
    Corner Stone says:

    @Betty Cracker: It’s been nasty.
    And, honestly, NFL Wild Card weekend went waaayyy beyond what I could have hoped for in exciting games.

  192. 192
    Corner Stone says:

    Ruh Roh. Clock?

  193. 193
    Betty Cracker says:

    Christ on a Trisket!

  194. 194
    tybee says:

    yee haw

  195. 195
    BillinGlendaleCA says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Musburger is a fount of knowledge or something.

  196. 196
    Corner Stone says:

    This is just straight balls.

  197. 197
    Corner Stone says:


  198. 198
    Corner Stone says:

    Jeebus. Dude looked like me at a strip club at 1:55am on a Tuesday.

  199. 199
    Corner Stone says:


  200. 200
    Betty Cracker says:

    Crap! That stupid penalty teed it up. It wasn’t even necessary since the pass sucked anyway.

  201. 201
    tybee says:


  202. 202
    Corner Stone says:

    Let me guess Musberger. I am deep enough to be playing Safety for FSU right now.

  203. 203
    Betty Cracker says:

    How big is that missed 32 yard field goal looming now? Shit.

  204. 204
    Keith P says:

    Auburn gave that one away. Mason did all he could, but Marshall looked like crap tonight. Bad throws on two would-be TDs, an INT, and largely bad running. Hate to see them lose, but they had plenty of opportunities to put the game away in the 3rd but just screwed the pooch.

  205. 205
    raven says:

    I can’t wait to tell all my Auburn friends that it was “a really good game”.

  206. 206
    tybee says:

    i’ve “congratulated” a few on how well all barn hung in there….

  207. 207
    GHayduke (formerly lojasmo) says:

    @Royston Vasey:

    Just dress up. I’m wearing flannel under my pants, a smart wool shirt and a hoodie walking around the house. If i walk the dog later, I’ll be wearing my whole snowboarding getup.

  208. 208
    Corner Stone says:

    @GHayduke (formerly lojasmo):

    a smart wool shirt

    Well, to be fair, the wool shirt doesn’t actually have to be all that bright to be smarter than you.

Comments are closed.