Florida Man or Woman Plans His or Her Escape!

I am not authorized at this time to confirm or deny that this is my cover letter or BettyC’s…

Open thread.

Late Evening Open Thread: Florida Plane! Wait, What????

So this happened in St. Petersberg today:

News Channel 8 has the details:

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. (WFLA) – A small plane crashed on a road and hit multiple cars in St. Petersburg Wednesday afternoon.
St. Pete police and fire departments are on scene at 18th Avenue South and 16th Street South.

Two people were on the plane.

Four people overall were taken to area hospitals and one person was treated at the scene.

According to the FAA website, the plane is a 1978 model Cessna 402b, owned by Noble Charter Service out of Opa Locka airport.

Stay frosty and look up on occasion!

Open thread!

Always Do Your Homework: Floriduh Man Edition

Proper planning (is supposed to) prevents piss poor performance.

A Florida man who googled “how to rob a bank” was arrested after authorities say he did just that.

William Joe Johnson, 26, was arrested Monday in the Oct. 5 robbery of an Achieva Credit Union in Largo, near Tampa, Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office officials said.

Authorities say Johnson approached a bank teller, implied he had a gun and demanded cash. The teller gave him money and he fled the bank, officials said.

Detectives were able to identify Johnson as the suspect, and found him at an Express Inn, where he was taken into custody, officials said.

Johnson told detectives he needed money so he googled “how to rob a bank,” authorities said. He said he planned to rob a different bank but changed his mind when he discovered the teller was a large male, authorities said.

Johnson said he used the money he stole to pay his rent, utilities, and go on a drug binge, authorities said. The money ran out and he had planned to rob another bank but was arrested before he could, authorities said.

Authorities charged Johnson with one count of robbery. Attorney information wasn’t available.

Open thread!

Also, Largo is between St. Petersberg and Clearwater. It’s across the bay from Tampa. I realize this was a Miami station doing the report, but that’s like saying Pembroke Pines is near Miami Beach.

Overnight Open Thread: Overly Endowed Floriduh Man Edition

From the EEEEWWWW! Wing of the Floriduh Man Hall of Fame comes the tale of the strangest legal argument I have ever heard:

A Florida man accused of killing his ex-girlfriend wants to enter his penis into evidence to show a jury that his former lover died accidentally during oral sex.

According to the Sun Sentinel, 65-year-old Richard Henry Patterson admitted he choked his girlfriend 60-year-old Francisca Marquinez on Oct. 28, 2015, however, he never said how and now Patterson is asking a judge permission to show his member to the jury to prove Marquinez’s death was a mistake.

While the request is odd, Patterson’s attorney Ken Padowitz said it’s important to his “rough sex” defense, which has been used in several cases across the country. The premise is the victim died accidentally during consensual sex. Medical Examiner Dr. Ronald Wright will hopefully bolster Patterson’s case.

“Dr. [Ronald] Wright, an expert witness and former Broward County medical examiner, will testify that … her death is consistent with being accidentally sexually asphyxiated during oral sex,” Padowitz wrote in the motion. “It is material and relevant. The view by the jury is essential for them to fully understand Dr. Wright’s testimony and the defense in this case.”

A Brooklyn Defense Attorney Joyce David who also used a “rough sex” argument doesn’t think Patterson has to disrobe to get his point across. “Really, couldn’t they just make a mold or something?” David questioned.

Dare I say a whole lot more at the link

Open thread!

Florida Man: We Have Found a Superior Specimen Edition

A Tampa man, Andrew Lumish, spends his one day off a week doing something unusual: he cleans the dirty and neglected graves of veterans at cemeteries in the Tampa area.

TAMPA – The story of Andrew Lumish’s selfless and up until now anonymous service to veterans struck a chord. More than 8 million people around the world  have viewed the story on Facebook and on in just two days.

“I’ve gotten phone calls and messages from people I haven’t seen since kindergarten.  I’ve been on three radio shows across the country already this morning” said Lumish reeling from the reaction.

Among the more than 10,000 comments on Facebook,  Lumish is called a blessing, an inspiration, even a hero for his work cleaning old and often forgotten grave stones of veterans and their families at Cemeteries around the Tampa Bay Area.

Just a nice, positive story for the end of a busy and somewhat nerve wracking week.

Late Evening/Early Morning Open Thread: Floriduh Man Brunch in Unusual Places Edition

So this happened.

ABC 10 News has the details.

LAKELAND, Fla. – A man’s desire to eat pancakes in the middle of the road got him in trouble with the police.

On Monday, Lakeland Police Department received a call that a man was sitting in the middle of a crosswalk eating pancakes on a small TV table. He was disrupting the flow of traffic by causing an obstruction.

Police came to the area, yet the man had left prior to their arrival. A video of the incident was posted on Facebook and the police were able to track down 21-year-old Kiaron Thomas as the flapjack-eating man.

Thomas admitted he ate the pancakes in the middle of the road as a prank.

Thomas was charged with obstruction in the roadway and disrupting the free flow of traffic. He will appear in court for the pancake prank in April.

Mmmmm pancakes!