Ahh, West Virginia:
An Alum Creek man has been arrested after neighbors allegedly found him fondling himself over the dead body of a stolen pygmy goat while wearing women’s underwear.
Mark Lucas Thompson, 19, of Greenview Road was taken into custody early Monday morning at his home where Kanawha Sheriff’s deputies were investigating the bloody scene. Thompson told deputies he had been high on “bath salts” — synthetic drugs — for the last three days, said Cpl. Sean Snuffer, a detective with the sheriff’s office.***
Thompson ran out of the house into the wooded hillside after Pollis asked about the dead goat in the bedroom. Witnesses said he ran off wearing only a muscle shirt and thong underwear.
Cpl. M.B. Cummings and Sgt. R.P. Boone went to the Greenview Road home to help Shackelford with the investigation. The three officers went into Thompson’s home and found blood on the floor. In a bedroom they found women’s panties and tampons lying on the bed and fresh blood on the floor.
He may or may not have been heard muttering “Obama is the biggest affirmative action baby ever.”
BTW- I have no idea what “bath salts” are, but I am ready to declare them bad.