Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Dinky Hocker shoots smack!

Good luck with your asparagus.

Where tasty lettuce and good mustard aren’t elitist.

An almost top 10,000 blog!

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

Trump is going to draw a dick on that dog with a sharpie, isn’t he?

Nevertheless, she persisted.

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

This blog is Obama’s Katrina.

What fresh hell is this?

The willow is too close to the house.

I thought we were promised Infrastructure Week.

Naturally gregarious and alpha

Too inconsequential to be sued

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Shelter in place is one thing. Shelter in pants is quite another.

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

I swear, each month of 2020 will have its own history degree.

Women: they get shit done

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn – Nancy Pelosi

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

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It Didn’t Have to Be This Way

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This fucking idiot:

Gov. Greg Abbott on Friday took his most drastic action yet to respond to the post-reopening coronavirus surge in Texas, shutting bars back down and scaling back restaurant capacity to 50%.

He also shut down river-rafting trips, which have been blamed for a swift rise in cases in Hays County, and banned outdoor gatherings of over 100 people unless local officials approve.

“At this time, it is clear that the rise in cases is largely driven by certain types of activities, including Texans congregating in bars,” Abbott said in a news release. “The actions in this executive order are essential to our mission to swiftly contain this virus and protect public health.”

Bars must close at noon Friday, and the reduction in restaurant capacity takes effect Monday. Before Abbott’s announcement Friday, bars were able to operate at 50% capacity and restaurants at 75% capacity.

“At this time.” Let that sink in. “AT THIS TIME.” Motherfucker this was clear MONTHS ago and why every state run by reasonable, sane, people, including my redneck gomer Jim Justice and right wing anti-abortion nutjob Mike Dewine in Oho shut their fucking states down. “AT THIS TIME.” Fuck you.

Side note- some days I worry that I am losing control of the English language, because I am so exasperated with these people that all I can muster half the time is “fucking asshole” or “this fucking idiot” or “you stupid cocksucker” or something similar. I tried to come up with something different to begin this, and sat there for five minutes, and really all I could write was “This fucking idiot.” It’s just where I am now, so humor me.

Back to the point- this has been obvious for, well, in 2020 terms where every day is a week and every week is a month and every month is the longest century ever, this has been obvious for fucking ever. People with an iq over room temperature have been expecting a second wave since the start of this thing. Where they erred was that YOU FUCKING PEOPLE ARE SO AWFUL you never let us get out of the first god damned wave.

It didn’t have to be this way. Other civilized nations handled the crisis. I don’t know if it is the racism because these yokels in the south saw it hitting minority communities worse than other groups and said fuck it. I don’t know if it is just a fear of the base. I don’t know if they are just that fucking stupid. I don’t know if it is because they are greed pigs who only care about the stock market. I don’t know if they are just sociopaths who don’t care about other people. Probably some combination of all of the above plus the Baby Jeebus.

But it just didn’t have to be this way. After decades of rushing off to fight elective wars of choice, for once there is a battle we have to fight, and Republicans surrendered. And we had ample warning.

CHINA BUILT A FUCKING HOSPITAL IN TEN DAYS. That’s when I ordered masks and supplies, fer fuck’s sake. And I am no rocket surgeon. And I am bracing for the fall, when the supply chains and economy are really going to tank. I have a turkey picked out, I’m splitting a pig with a friend, I went in on a 1/4 cow with three others, I spent my stimulus check on raised beds and an irrigation system and mason jars and lids, and I am going to grow and can my ass off.

But it didn’t have to be this way. You stupid motherfuckers.

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Glorified Ignorance As a Choice

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One of the aspects of the decline of the right wing mind that we are going to have to deal with for decades to come is the choice to remain proudly and defiantly stupid while insisting that you know as much as the experts. I have seen several posts like this by anti-mask imbeciles that proudly demonstrate the point:

Glorified Ignorance As a Choice

It’s a microcosm of Republican thought the last few decades, and no different from arguing that the estate tax is actually a TAX ON YOU DYING and the other hundreds of similar arguments. It’s absurd and stupid, but reiterated and elevated to the point of being the received view among true believers.

This one is particularly maddening- yes, a virus is smaller than a cloth mask. Everyone fucking knows this, including the mask maker, the people suggesting people wear masks, and, you know, the folks who designate masks as N-95, where the 95 stands for the 95 fucking percent of shit it will filter out. That means they know 5% gets through.

But like every right-wing argument, that misses the fucking point. The reason you wear masks is not for 100% certainty or protection, but because the virus is transmitted by being aerosolized when individuals speak, breath, yell, cough, sneeze, etc., and is carried through the air in droplets, where it can infect other people who inhale it, or if it gets in through their eyes, or it gets on their skin and they then get it into their eyes, mouth, nose, or it gets on a surface where it can stay for several days for someone to pick up that way. You wearing a mask reduces the chance that if you are carrying it, you are blasting out the plague every time you breathe, cough, talk, yell. It reduces the chance that you inhale it, because the droplets will get caught in the outside of your mask, and also why disposable masks are FUCKING SUPPOSED TO BE… DISPOSED OF.

To ignore the advice of the medical community, you have ignore everything above AND think that doctors for some reason have been running a long con since, well, fucking germ theory, and have been wearing masks forever just to one day get to this point, where, they could claim a false pandemic and force everyone to wear masks to IMPOSE THEIR WILL ON YOUR FREEDOMS.

This fucking pandemic might not kill us all, but right wing stupidity might.

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Dear MSM, Biden, and Bernie Supporters

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Please stop telling my preferred candidate to drop out when only three states have voted.

Thank you.

*** Update ***

Two minutes after posting this, I learn that Buttigieg is suspending his campaign. He was not my preferred candidate, but this seems very newsworthy.

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Russiagate Open Thread: Twelve Monkeys Spies

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There was a lot of testimony during this past week’s impeachment inquiry about foreign interference in our 2016 election, including the president’s assertion that Ukraine was involved. But the president’s own intelligence agencies say it was the Russians who “hacked” the 2016 elections. Special counsel Robert Mueller spelled it out in his report.

Now the Justice Department has at least two open cases against Russian citizens for interfering with our presidential and congressional races, we decided to take a closer look at one of them – the case against 12 Russian military officers accused of breaking into the Democratic Party’s computers, stealing compromising information, and selectively releasing it to undermine Democratic candidates. There’s no evidence of similar operations against Republicans in 2016. With the 2020 election approaching, the story of “The Russian Hack.”

Robert Anderson: The Russians never left. I can guarantee you in 2016 after this all hit the news, they never left. They didn’t stop doing what they’re doing.

Bill Whitaker: This wasn’t just a one-time thing?

Robert Anderson: No way. Russia doesn’t do it that way.

Robert Anderson should know. He spent 21 years inside the cloak and dagger world of spies and hackers overseeing the FBI’s counterintelligence and cyber Divisions and tracking Moscow’s spy agencies, an alphabet of artifice, the FSB, SVR, and, especially, the GRU.

Robert Anderson: The GRU is military intelligence. So when we look at the attacks that happened during our presidential races in 2016 you had military organizations inside of Russia attacking our infrastructure…

These are the hacker-soldiers from GRU unit 26165 who, according to the Justice Department, were responsible for “breaking and entering” into the Democratic Party’s computers remotely, from Moscow. Their names, ranks and faces are now on the FBI’s most wanted list for stealing, among other things, the Democrats’ strategic plans, detailed targeting data, and internal polling. GRU Colonel Aleksandr Osadchuk commanded a separate unit, 74455. One of his officers was in charge of spreading the stolen material to political operatives, bloggers and the media. Another hacked state election boards.

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Late Night Open Thread: Rich ‘Sparklepants’ Lowry Throws A Public Snit

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Not that I normally read anything by, or if I can help it about, the National Review editor who wrote the first public paean to Sarah Palin’s charms. But Mr. Boie’s tweet sent me in search of explication…

“You know what I am?” U.S. President Donald J. Trump said at a rally in October 2018. “I’m a nationalist.” Rich Lowry’s The Case for Nationalism can be seen as a way of working through, and defending, what the president meant. As the editor of National Review, the prominent conservative magazine, Lowry is an intellectual gatekeeper on the American right. He was one of the speakers at the National Conservatism conference in July 2019, an event that brought together such thinkers as J. D. Vance and Patrick Deneen, with keynotes by the billionaire venture capitalist Peter Thiel and the Fox News host Tucker Carlson, along with a notorious intervention on the perils of immigration by University of Pennsylvania law professor Amy Wax.

Lowry’s central claim is that Americans are, and have been from their country’s founding, a nation and not a community of universal ideas. Although intellectuals and left-wing pundits are openly hostile to expressions of national sentiment, the United States has a unique national tradition that is today obscured by fissiparous identity politics. If Americans reacquaint themselves with their true national heritage, they will be better equipped to overcome dangerous tribalism, protect their borders, and make their country great again. To the degree that the United States has a global role, it should be as “vindicator of the prerogatives of other democratic nation-states”—in other words, a defender of the idea that a world of culturally defined nations is humanity’s state of nature…

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Late Night Open Thread: If Not for Hypocrisy, They’d Have No Standards At All

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The Little Princeling:

 
Also, may one introduce Breitbart’s newest contributors?

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President Fathead Has No Idea What the Fuck is Going On

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Awesome:

President Donald Trump falsely claimed on Thursday that the United States has no troops in Syria.
Trump was defending his decision to remove American troops from a part of northern Syria that Turkey wanted to attack. Speaking to reporters on the White House lawn, Trump asserted, “We have no soldiers in Syria.”

“We’ve won, we beat ISIS, and we beat ’em badly and decisively. We have no soldiers. The last thing I want to do is bring thousands and thousands of soldiers in and defeat everybody again. We’ve already done that,” Trump said.

Facts First: The US still has about 1,000 soldiers in Syria, military officials have told CNN and other news outlets, and the troops Trump removed from the area of the Turkish incursion offensive were not removed from the country
.
Jonathan Hoffman, chief Pentagon spokesman, said in a statement on Tuesday: “We have made no changes to our force presence in Syria at this time.”
Less than an hour after Trump made his Thursday claim that there are “no soldiers in Syria,” a senior State Department official told reporters that the US military mission in Syria is ongoing.

“We had and still have a significant military mission there to ensure the enduring defeat of ISIS, also to maintain the stability of northeast Syria and the region given our other critical missions in the Near East,” the official said on a conference call conducted on condition of anonymity.

Not only do we have troops in the region, but, well, the inevitable has happened:

A contingent of U.S. Special Forces has been caught up in Turkish shelling against U.S.-backed Kurdish positions in northern Syria, days after President Donald Trump told his Turkish counterpart he would withdraw U.S. troops from certain positions in the area.

Newsweek has learned through both an Iraqi Kurdish intelligence official and senior Pentagon official that Special Forces operating on Mashtenour hill in the majority-Kurdish city of Kobani fell under artillery fire from Turkish forces conducting their so-called “Operation Peace Spring” against Kurdish fighters backed by the U.S. but considered terrorist organizations by Turkey.

The senior Pentagon official said that Turkish forces should be aware of U.S. positions “down to the grid.” The official could not specify the exact number of personnel present, but indicated they were “small numbers below company level,” so somewhere between 15 and 100 troops.

Meanwhile:

Five Isis militants have broken out of a prison in northern Syria after Turkish shelling nearby, a spokesman in the Kurdish-led Syrian Democratic Forces (SDF) has said.

The detainees escaped from a prison in Qamishli city, Marvan Qamishlo said.

In times like these I calm myself by chanting my favorite soothing mantras- “pallets of money on the airstrip” and “but her emails.”

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