Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Our job is not to persuade Republicans but to defeat them.

How has Obama failed you today?

Today in our ongoing national embarrassment…

The revolution will be supervised.

Screw the Judean People’s Front. Splitters.

No one could have predicted…

Not all heroes wear capes.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

We are aware of all internet traditions.

I showered with Rahm and all I got was this shitty blog.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity.

I personally stopped the public option…

Too inconsequential to be sued

Nevertheless, she persisted

Word salad with all caps

Almost as fun as hiking the Appalachian Trail.

Women: They Get Shit Done

We Survived Breitbartpocalypse!

Yes we did.

This blog is Obama’s Katrina.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

Shock troops for the Unitarian Jihad.

An almost top 10,000 blog!

Wetsuit optional.

You are here: Home / Archives for Clown Shoes

2020 Republican Platform Now Officially Cleek’s Law

by | 85 Comments

This post is in: ,

Cleek is a visionary:

i can do it in one word: ~liberal

or, for those of you who don’t grok the boolean: today’s conservatism is the opposite of what liberals want today: updated daily.

or: cowardly authoritarians pretending to be individualists.

or: the cynical leading the stupid.

or: I Got Mine

or: who said we weren’t tolerant? we tolerate racists just fine!

The RNC has released their 2020 platform, and boy howdy is it a doozy:

RESOLUTION REGARDING THE REPUBLICAN PARTY PLATFORM

WHEREAS, The Republican National Committee (RNC) has significantly scaled back the size and scope of the 2020 Republican National Convention in Charlotte due to strict restrictions on gatherings and meetings, and out of concern for the safety of convention attendees and our hosts;

WHEREAS, The RNC has unanimously voted to forego the Convention Committee on Platform, in appreciation of the fact that it did not want a small contingent of delegates formulating a new platform without the breadth of perspectives within the ever-growing Republican movement;

WHEREAS, All platforms are snapshots of the historical contexts in which they are born, and parties abide by their policy priorities, rather than their political rhetoric;

WHEREAS, The RNC, had the Platform Committee been able to convene in 2020, would have undoubtedly unanimously agreed to reassert the Party’s strong support for President Donald Trump and his Administration;

WHEREAS, The media has outrageously misrepresented the implications of the RNC not adopting a new platform in 2020 and continues to engage in misleading advocacy for the failed policies of the Obama-Biden Administration, rather than providing the public with unbiased reporting of facts; and

WHEREAS, The RNC enthusiastically supports President Trump and continues to reject the policy positions of the Obama-Biden Administration, as well as those espoused by the Democratic National Committee today; therefore, be it

RESOLVED, That the Republican Party has and will continue to enthusiastically support the President’s America-first agenda;

RESOVLVED, That the 2020 Republican National Convention will adjourn without adopting a new platform until the 2024 Republican National Convention;

RESOLVED, That the 2020 Republican National Convention calls on the media to engage in accurate and unbiased reporting, especially as it relates to the strong support of the RNC for President Trump and his Administration; and

RESOLVED, That any motion to amend the 2016 Platform or to adopt a new platform, including any motion to suspend the procedures that will allow doing so, will be ruled out of order.

Also, all the speakers are either Trumps or married to Trumps. Interestingly enough, Tiffany is scheduled to speak, so apparently she is back in the will.

2020 Republican Platform Now Officially Cleek’s LawPost + Comments (85)

They Never Fucking Plan For Anything

by | 66 Comments

This post is in: ,

I mean, of course the RNC is being cancelled. Everyone without an (R) behind their name knew it was going to be cancelled. The Democrats decided this MONTHS ago, and thus will be able to hold a good, strong, virtual convention with lots of programming and as much pageantry as is possible in such a setting, and the Republicans will basically have an unscripted zoom meeting and some fucker will Leni Riefenstahl up a zoom meeting for Cheeto Benito.

It’s the same with the coronavirus stimulus. The Democrats passed a bill in the house two fucking months ago, because it was obvious where we would be today (although, it was not entirely obvious that Republicans and Trump would botch this so bad). The Republican caucus in the Senate still does not know what the fuck they are going to do.

It’s literally the same with everything they do. They are reactionaries, and Cleek’s Law is as accurate as the crazification factor. They just want what they want when they want it and then when things go to shit say no one could have predicted and find a way to make things worse or just lie that things aren’t bad.

It’s who they are. It’s what they do.

They Never Fucking Plan For AnythingPost + Comments (66)

Today’s Laugh/Cry

by | 183 Comments

This post is in: , ,

Today's Laugh/Cry

Further evidence that the President and his team are a bunch of fucking idiots:

President Trump was pushing to get out in the public eye in recent weeks and tout his leadership during the pandemic, and White House staff thought they had hit on the ideal event: a presidential visit to thank the Pennsylvania factory workers who had recently taken herculean steps to ramp up U.S. supplies of protective equipment.

Workers had received national attention after dozens of them lived for 28 days inside their factory so they could ensure they were virus-free and their production was not contaminated or disrupted by illness.

White House officials pressed to hold an event at the Braskem factory, initially scheduled for last Friday. But after extensive back and forth, factory officials ultimately asked to postpone, worried that a visit from Trump could jeopardize both the safety of the workers and the plant’s ability to produce special material for masks and other medical gear, according to two people familiar with the decision and documents reviewed by The Post.

First off, the last fucking thing any of these factories need is a bunch of idiots tromping through them in the midst of a pandemic. Any normal, sentient human being would have understood this already.

But what makes this extra special amazing is that President Shit-For-Brains, desperate to Leni Riefenstahl his ass out of this mess, can’t even do that because of his own idiotic bravado of refusing to wear a mask. The last god damned thing any company that has quarantined their staff for months to safely produce sterile equipment will do is allow this dipshit and his team of choads to flounce off Pox Force One, refuse to wear masks and gloves, and then drool all over everything in sight.

Today’s Laugh/CryPost + Comments (183)

My First Personal Covid Disaster

by | 130 Comments

This post is in: , ,

So, it had been a couple weeks since I last gave myself a haircut, and it was getting long, so I got in front of the sink, plugged the clippers in, and went at it. One problem. I had forgotten that I had left the shortest attachment on it the other day. I had it on because I had planned to shave Steve, but I could never find him. Since I never found him, I never put the other attachment back on.

Even with my glasses off I knew I had fucked up because large clumps of hair fell in front of my face and I could see a strip down the center of my head. I tried to fix it, but because I have surgically replaced shoulders I can not reach my entire head. So now I look like a cancer patient with a mostly shaved head and select clumps of unreachable hair.

My First Personal Covid Disaster

How is your Saturday night going.

My First Personal Covid DisasterPost + Comments (130)