Osama bin Laden’s reign of terror officially ended this morning at around 9 am, when every major cable news network (FOX, CNN, MSNBC) stopped sniffing anthrax and chasing suticase nukes to air the closing arguments in the hockey murder case.
Hello to all the troops coming over via Sgt. Stryker. At Ease.
Quote of the Day:
“Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.”
A friend (who has a much higher threshold for pain than yours truly) just called to inform me that, as I type this, Slash is on ABC abusing a guitar while Michael Jackson is singing ‘Beat It.” I was also informed that it appears that Pam Anderson has been re-re-re-re-augmented, if you know what I mean. The horror of it all- this is why my television spends most of its time idling on the History Channel (or hitler channel as my ex called it).
Me-thinks the Taliban may have been on to something with the music ban.
A rant from one of my friends that Apple users will enjoy….
“I’ve set up about 20 Windows machines of various flavors in the last 2-3 weeks.
SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY I CAN’T JUST DOWNLOAD ALL THE FRIGGIN PATCHES I NEED? Windows Update, half the time I use it, is slower than a 56k modem.
While I’m at it, why the hell is everything “active” now.. I HATE “active downloads”.. Just let me download a god damned full installer instead of some 500k “active” installer so I don’t have to worry about a crash or connectivity issues and so I can save the bloody installer to a CD so I don’t have to mess with navigating a site for some half-hidden download area, or bring it to a friend who has a shitty modem internet connection.
And why do programs have to try to hijack filetypes? THIS CHAPS MY ASS. I DON’T WANT TO USE NETSCAPE TO VIEW A BLOODY JPG FILE!
I just fixed a computer for some friends of mine. These friends don’t know anything about computers. They’re computer dumb, and they’re content with that. You know the type — they have 15 programs running in the tray when Windows starts. They install Comet Cursor. You get the idea.
Reinstalling shit programs like RealPlayer — it just drives me up the wall. The thing asks for an email address 3 times ([email protected]), keeps trying to hijack filetypes, installs buggy bloated crashware that comes up on Windows boot, doesn’t ask permission to connect to the internet unless I dig down into obscure preferences and tell it not to. Even then, I can only turn off an “update check” for 30 days. Why do people use this shit?
Just now — literally — after installing RealPlayer and turning off all the spyware shit, disabling the SmartBloatCrashCenter, etc.. Closed RealPlayer and get an Illegal Operation. “REALPLAY caused an invalid page fault in module RNQU3260.DLL…”
During one point in a Windows Update, the thing hung at 600k of a download. The last time I had something like that happen to me, it corrupted the entire OS and wouldn’t even boot into Windows.
Hehe. Computers are fun.
Robert Fisk gets beat up, this time long distance by Sgt. Stryker.
BLOGGER is BACK. I expect an orgy of publishing from people tonight to make up for the missed opportunities today.
I am feeling better about my Windows XP problems at the office. Well, actually, I am just feeling better about myself. My friend (who, for his sake, we will not name) just called and asked me a series of really stupid questions. The conversation went something like this:
Friend: “Hey, Cole, Help me out because I am illiterate.”
Me (realizing he didn’t mean illiterate, but rather, stupid): “O.K.”
Friend: “How do I pull something up on the computer?”
Me (thinking he is looking for porn): “What on earth are you talking about?”
Friend: “I just stuck a blue disk with a resume in XxxxxX’s (my illiterate friend’s roommate) white computer.”
I then gave him directions to find the resume. This guy is a real good friend, but it is now confirmed that his computer skills negin and end at the microwave. Fortunately he is not applying to any hi-tech firms.
I did an experiment today. I am sick to death of Tom Daschle being described as ‘soft-spoken’ and ‘mild-mannered,’ when it is my opinion that he is a partisan hack and a bleeding idiot. So here was the experiment:
I took a statement that I knew was completely idiotic. To be safe, I chose a Noam Chomsky quote (“The U.S. will not permit constructive programs in its own domains, so it must ensure that they are destroyed elsewhere to terminate the threat of a good example”). Then, I stated it out loud. As suspected, it sounded idiotic. I then whispered it, in a way that could be described only as ‘soft-spoken’ and ‘mild-mannered,’ and I found it to be equally asinine.
Shocked by these early results that have clearly eluded the mainstream media, I chose to repeat my test to make sure I had not simply suffered a ‘Chomsky effect.’ I repeated the experiment with a quotation from another abject fool, Ted Rall. The quote I chose was “The principal goal of this adventure in imperialistic vengeance, it seems obvious, should be to install a friendly government in Kabul. But we’re winning neither hearts nor minds among either the commoners or the leadership of the current regime apparent.” This beauty came from, oh who cares? Here is the link.
As in the first run of the test, I repeated the quote out loud, and as expected, it was dumber (and more wrong) now than when Rall originally wrote it. I repeated it in a mild-mannered, soft-spoken voice. Still dumb.
Now for the true test. Here are some Daschle quotes, try my experiment and check your results.
“We were promised that if we gave huge tax cuts to the wealthiest Americans, the benefits would trickle down, deficits would disappear and the economy would flourish.”
“So not only did the tax cut fail to prevent a recession, as its supporters said it would, it probably made the recession worse.”
“Sept. 11 and the war aren’t the only reasons the surplus is nearly gone. They’re not even the biggest reasons. The biggest reason is the tax cut.” (For those who forget, Daschle proposed a LARGER short term tax cut).
This leads me to conclude:
Tom Daschle- Mainstream Media’s Mild-Mannered Moron.
I should write a how-to on generating library fines. Every time I try to do research, I have to pony up 20 bucks for my inability to return anything on time. This is one reason I got satellite for my television. If I returned one more movie a week late, blockbuster was going to send some guy named Guido out to knee-cap me.
Glenn Reynolds, The Instapundit, has a new article on techcentralstation about blogging. I try not to link everything I find on his site, for two reasons. The first is that I think everyone should check his page once a day on their own, and the second reason is that if everyone IS checking his page, there is no need to post it here. However, as Glenn is the primary inspiration for this site, I will continue to put up stuff that I view there and find particularly compelling, if for no other reason than profound respect.
“Kick ’em while they are down, I say”. Another Clinton bashing article.
“Pass the Kool-Aid, Rev. Jones,” replies Joe Conason, as he defends Clinton.
P.J. O’Rourke on coping strategies in this month’s The Atlantic.
Then, in a more Wildean sense of the word “vulgar,” there’s the anthrax. A cowflop of a weapon has elicited all sorts of bull in response. On October 20 the Los Angeles Times devoted 465 column inches to a disease that had sickened fewer people (some press reports would claim) than the corporation that makes the antibiotic by which the disease is cured. Only five months ago Bayer withdrew the anti-cholesterol drug Baycol after it had been linked to fifty-two deaths.