The embattled administration’s talking points have been distributed, with two words underlined in gold Sharpie: MOVE FORWARD. First up, Mouth of Shitgibbon Kellyanne Conway on the Today show:
Next up: GOP back-bencher Rep. Chris Collins (R-NY) on CNN:
The tweeted summaries don’t do either segment justice. Lauer points out that Team Shitgibbon was told Flynn was compromised more than a month ago, and yet Flynn was functioning as the highest level adviser right up until yesterday — that’s the part that “makes no sense.” And Conway can’t and doesn’t even attempt to explain it.
Collins’ response is even weirder: After the “hoocoodanode” response didn’t pass the laugh test, Collins asserts an aggressively ignorant “50 First Dates” approach to governance, wherein every day is a new day, and treason that happened last month is treason under the bridge, damn it, so why dwell on such unpleasantness?
Both remain implacably focused on the future — move along, citizens, nothing to see here! Both (but especially Conway) maintain a flat affect when responding to their questioners’ rising incredulity, wearing expressions reminiscent of psychologically traumatized kidnap victims forced to read a denunciation of their captor’s enemy on camera. In this case, the enemy is truth.
Team Shitgibbon had all night to cobble together a media strategy to contain the damage of the Flynn implosion. That this was the best they could do is telling. Popcorn futures will skyrocket at the opening bell, and I hope one particular woman in Chappaqua has an inexhaustible supply of gourmet kettle corn laid aside.
ETA: I am calling my elected officials today — yes, even Lil’ Marco — to urge them to support a comprehensive, independent investigation of the Trump administration’s ties to Russia. I encourage y’all to do the same.
ETA II: And David Brooks’ favorite sun-kissed Son of the Prairie weighs in, repeating the MOVE FORWARD mantra:
Honest to dog, it’s like Rubio’s primary programmer installed a loop in their skulls! Spicer will probably seize up upon the 40th repetition and have to be tag-teamed by the Miller Ragebot.