Well This is Nucking Futz- Amazon Edition

Jeff Bezos has published a piece on Medium, and man is it crazy:

Back to the story: Several days ago, an AMI leader advised us that Mr. Pecker is “apoplectic” about our investigation. For reasons still to be better understood, the Saudi angle seems to hit a particularly sensitive nerve.

A few days after hearing about Mr. Pecker’s apoplexy, we were approached, verbally at first, with an offer. They said they had more of my text messages and photos that they would publish if we didn’t stop our investigation.

***

Well, that got my attention. But not in the way they likely hoped. Any personal embarrassment AMI could cause me takes a back seat because there’s a much more important matter involved here. If in my position I can’t stand up to this kind of extortion, how many people can? (On that point, numerous people have contacted our investigation team about their similar experiences with AMI, and how they needed to capitulate because, for example, their livelihoods were at stake.)

In the AMI letters I’m making public, you will see the precise details of their extortionate proposal: They will publish the personal photos unless Gavin de Becker and I make the specific false public statement to the press that we “have no knowledge or basis for suggesting that AMI’s coverage was politically motivated or influenced by political forces.”

Read the whole thing- and Bezos has receipts. They thought they were fucking around with the guy on the left and the guy on the right showed up.



Holiday Jamz

I don’t even really know what to say other than OH YEAH:








No Jury Would Convict

I mean, seriously:

Sergey Savitsky, an engineer [at Bellingshausen Station, a Russian research station in the South Shetland Islands in Antarctica], is accused of stabbing welder Oleg Beloguzov in the chest, the Sun* reports.

So far, so good — just one more incident in the human carnival, albeit in chillier conditions than most.  But wait! What could possibly have driven Savitsky to his savage act?

The alleged attack was said to be the result of an argument between the two over Beloguzov’s habit of spoiling the endings of books that he’d read from the remote outpost’s library.

Welp.

That changes the matter.

I mean — these guys are stuck together for year-long-stretches.  Serial spoiling is no mere prank, and not even simply provocation: it’s an assault on all that’s right and holy!

After all:  who among us hasn’t felt the urge, and been saved from the evil impulse only by the fact that we can leave the house and read something else…

No jury would convict.

Amirite?

Oh, and btw:

Some reports suggest that alcohol was involved.

Ya think?

PS:  the good news:

Beloguzov was evacuated to Chile for medical treatment, and his life is reportedly not in danger.

So anyway. I figured we needed a little respite today, and here it is.  Open thread.

*Yeah. I know.

Image: Johann Hamza, The Reader, before 1928








SERIOUSLY WTF DO WE HAVE TO DO TO GET SOME HELP TO PUERTO RICO?

Jesus:

Puerto Rico’s medical services are in critical condition in the wake of Hurricane Maria.

The strongest storm to hit the island in decades has left hospitals flooded, strewn with rubble and dependent on diesel generators to keep the neediest patients alive.

The precarious shape of the island’s medical facilities is adding to the misery and devastation of this U.S. territory, whose 3.4 million residents are American citizens. For some, the only option is to evacuate to the United States for treatment.

We’re just going to let them all die, aren’t we? I hate this fucking President.








Florida Judge Set to Release Radical Islamic Terrorist in Tampa

So, here’s a crazy story: A Tampa-based judge is about to release a 21-year-old radical Islamic terrorist (RIT) to the custody of his mom and grandma. The RIT came to the attention of authorities when one of his roommates murdered his other two roommates and led cops to the scene of the crime.

In the ensuing search, the cops found bomb-making materials, a photograph of Osama bin Laden and the collected works of Anwar al-Awlaki in the apartment, along with internet activity suggesting that the surviving RIT, who is slated for bail as early as today, thought it would be a good idea to “kill civilians and target locations like power lines, nuclear reactors, and synagogues,” according to the feds.

After the murders but before he was arrested due to the items found in the search, the RIT fled to South Florida, where he hooked up with a pal he’d met on a radical Islamic terrorist fan site. The online pal quit his McJob, liquidated his $3K life savings and visited a Bass Pro Shops outlet in South Florida, where he and his friend bought two guns and 100 rounds of ammo.

The cops caught up with them at a Burger King in Key Largo. What were they going to do with those guns and rounds? No one knows. The pal who quit his McJob isn’t under arrest, but he declined to elucidate on the pair’s aims when contacted by a reporter.

So, this judge is about to release a radical Islamic terrorist in my community today, unless prosecutors can get him to change his mind at a hearing this afternoon. Why isn’t Donald Trump screeching about this on Twitter instead of demanding media apologies for FAKE NEWS? Why aren’t people like Pam Geller freaking out about this reckless endangerment of the community?

Because — haha, just kidding! — the menace who is set to make bail in Tampa this afternoon is in fact a neo-Nazi, not a radical Islamic terrorist. All other details relayed above are correct — just swap out “neo-Nazi” for “RIT,” “Timothy McVeigh” for “Osama bin Laden” and “The Turner Diaries” for the “works of Anwar al-Awlaki.”

America is so weird sometimes. The end.