Late Evening/Early Morning Open Thread: Always Lock the Door!

Today the BBC introduced everyone to two new stars, Professor Kelly’s children.


Floriduh Woman: Personal Grooming Edition

Don’t do this!

Internet punsters are celebrating Megan Barnes as Florida’s “Pubic Enemy,” others are chattering about her “razor sharp focus.”

The 37-year-old Barnes catapulted to instant fame for an alleged multi-tasking mash-up that earned the bottle-blonde’s mug shot a spot on hundreds of Web sites.

According to a startled Florida Highway Patrol trooper, Barnes was shaving her bikini area while driving south on the famed Overseas Highway when she crashed into the rear of an SUV March 2.

In the police report obtained by ABC News, the trim job was apparently essential because the arresting officer, trooper Gary Dunick, said the Indiana native told him she was heading to Key West visit her boyfriend.

“She said she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit,” Dunick told the Key West Citizen.

It gets weirder. In order to pay full attention to her sensitive regions, police say Barnes enlisted her ex-husband, Charles Judy, who was riding shotgun, to hold the wheel.

Yes, her ex-husband.

Much more information at the link.

Happy New Year: Ireland Man Edition!

We have an early entrant in the bizarre things that occur on New Year’s Eve contest. This one courtesy of Ireland Man (like Florida Man, but with a better accent!).


Hope everyone’s festivities or quiet night’s in are going to plan!

Stay frosty!

Florida Man: Tutu Edition! Updated at 10:15 PM EDT

Another day, another embarrassing act by someone from my home state (Like BettyC, I’m a native. We’re on 6 hour shifts!).

– Two men, one wearing a tutu, broke into Tampa Farmer’s Market to eat fruit and drink soda early Tuesday morning.

The Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office released surveillance footage of the suspects breaking into the Fletcher Avenue store in hopes that the public can help identify them.

According to HCSO, the suspects gained access to the store by breaking out the glass door at approximately 1 a.m. on November 1, and proceeded to consume fruit and soda once inside.

A sheriff’s office spokesperson shared the following descriptions of the two suspects:

#1 – white male, thin build, possibly dressed in a cheerleading costume, wearing a TuTu, possibly wearing a wig.

#2-  male (unknown race), wearing a hoodie with an image of an owl on the front.

Anyone with any information reference these suspects is asked to call the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office at 247-8200 or anyone with any information regarding the identity and whereabouts of these suspects and who wants to be eligible for a cash reward is asked to call Crime Stoppers at 1-800-873-TIPS (8477).

There’s video at the link!

Open, night before Thanksgiving open thread!!!

Updated at 10:15 PM EDT

Allow me to regale you with more tales of the nightlife of Tampa!

– Newly released surveillance video could help Tampa Police locate the man who drove his car onto a sidewalk in Ybor City, hitting two people and a bar early Tuesday morning.

Around 3:25 a.m. Tuesday, after businesses had closed, a group of men began fighting outside the Bad Monkey Bar on East 7th Avenue in Tampa.

Surveillance cameras captured the brawl, including one subject involved in the fighting who attempted to leave the scene by driving away in a black Nissan.

“He tries to do a U-turn, and it’s really too tight of a street to do that. He gets hung up on the curb,” said Steve Hegarty, spokesperson for the Tampa Police Department.

The driver jumped the sidewalk and crashed into several men who were still fighting. One of the men was pushed through the window of the Bad Monkey bar when the car made impact, smashing the glass.
After crashing through the building, the driver left the scene.

Detectives are working to determine if the driver intentionally accelerated his car or if the crash was accidental.

“That’s a big question that we have right now. At the very least, it’s a hit and run. There was damage to the building, clearly, someone was injured and he left the scene,” said Hegarty.

Only one of the men on the sidewalk, Michael Silhol, 25, was hurt in the crash. Silhol suffered a minor leg and head injury.

The Bad Monkey bar was left with $15,000 worth of damage. It was closed at the time of the crash.

Video at the link, too, also, again!

Late Evening Open Thread: Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid


For those in the Green Bay, Wisconsin area please be extra careful: there’s a creepy clown on the loose!

“Creepy Clown” spotted in Green Bay

Green Bay, WI — Neighbors in Green Bay are on edge after seeing a person dressed like a clown by the intersection of Mason and Adams Street around 2 a.m. Tuesday. 

The pictures are going viral on Facebook. The original post has almost 8,000 shares. A Facebook page has also been created to post future sightings of the clown, called Gags – The Green Bay Clown.

Police say they’ve received a few calls about the clown. 

“A person can walk down the sidewalk dressed however they want as long as they’re in a place they legally can be, and they’re not in a place that has a closing time, like a park,” said Captain Kevin Warych with the Green Bay Police Department. 

Police say their options are limited in dealing with the situation. 

I alerted Omnes directly this afternoon, but any other Juicers in Wisconsin may wish to take extra precautions!

Open thread to complain about clowns, people that are scared of clowns, people that torment people that are scared of clowns, or whatever!

* Image found here.

Don’t Try This at Home or In Public or Anywhere for That Matter!

Some knucklehead in Phoenix decided to see what would happen if he lit an entire fireworks display on fire (h/t: Sploid) inside a Wal-Mart. This is not a very good idea. Aside from starting a low explosive fire, and fortunately there weren’t any higher powered fireworks on the display or this would have been much, much worse, Arizona is a Constitutional Carry state. This means one can open carry without a permit, as well as conceal carry with or without a permit. The prankster is lucky someone didn’t hear several pops and decide there was an active threat that needed responding too!


A Dog’s Life

Canadian commenter NorthLeft12, freshly returned from vacation, wondered this morning at the dearth of posts here on the migrant crisis in Europe. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I can tell you why I haven’t addressed it: I don’t know what to say.

I wish there was something I could do besides making donations to relief organizations, an activity that feels like attempting to bail an ocean with a Dixie cup, and supporting politicians with comparatively sane and humane views on this and other issues.

Let me clarify: There is much the United States could and should do. And President Obama, as one of the saner and more humane politicians we’ve got, will probably do as much as he can within the constraints of our political system. But those constraints are straitjacket-proportioned on this issue, so I don’t expect much at all, maybe a relative handful of resettlements and a few large bales of cash. This country doesn’t have the appetite for anything else.

Today’s NYT reports that Iraqis are taking note of the mass migration from Syria and leaving in droves as well, hoping a European country will take them in along with refugees from Syria, Afghanistan and various war-torn African countries. Who can blame them? I’d sure as hell try to get out if I were them. The Times interviewed one refugee who wants to use Europe as a stepping stone to America:

One of them, Hattam Jabbar, 28, pulled from his shoulder bag an identification card issued in 2008 by the United States Army that said he was a fighter for the “Sons of Iraq,” the United States-backed program that brought Sunni fighters into the government fold to fight what was then Al Qaeda in Iraq, the precursor to the Islamic State.

“There is nothing to make me sad about leaving,” he said. “There is no humanity here.”

Mr. Hattam said he hoped his journey ends not in Europe but in the United States, where, he said, “even the dogs live well.”

He explained what he meant by telling a story an Iraqi friend living in the United States had recently told him. The friend, he said, had gone to the supermarket and left his dog in his car with the windows up on a hot day. A police officer, seeing this, scolded him, and told him he was putting the dog at risk.

“That means they even respect the dogs,” he said. “Even the dogs have rights in America.”

What Hattam Jabbar fails to understand is that many of us — maybe even most of us — care more about dogs than people. I’m guilty of that myself. People are horrible much of the time. Dogs aren’t. And it feels like we can sometimes save dogs, but there’s fuck-all we can do to save humans.

In America, we don’t give a shit about our own poor and brutalized native-born countrymen, so we’re sure as hell not going to volunteer to take in hundreds of thousands of refugees, particularly brown ones with a religion that millions of us regard as suspect.

Can you imagine what would happen if President Obama, Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, Martin O’Malley, etc., suggested that we need to resettle the same number of refugees that Germany, a much smaller country by area and population, is taking in?

Forget that the U.S. is more culpable in the regional instability that is driving the migration crisis than any other nation — as far as most of our fellow citizens are concerned, we’ve done our bit by pouring a trillion or so dollars down the rat-hole over there. If some of those planeloads of cash resurfaced here in the form of Halliburton dividend checks, it seems relatively few people give a shit.

So yeah, no. Not gonna happen. Half of our fellow citizens are already in full freak-out mode over the largely Christian undocumented immigrants whom U.S. employers hire to pick their tomatoes and landscape their office parks. If Democrats try to do the right thing about the migrant crisis in Europe, hello, President Trump.

There’s no humanity here either, Hattam Jabbar. Good luck to you, brother.