A LITERAL Shitshow

Valued commenter LAO submits for our consideration a report of a norovirus outbreak at the RNC:

A handful of Republican staff members in Cleveland for the GOP convention were reported to be suffering Tuesday from a possible norovirus infection.

And if there are a few people with norovirus, it’s likely there will be more.

Norovirus, for those who are unfamiliar with it, is a massively contagious and unpleasant but usually non-life-threatening ailment that turns cruise ships into giant vomit-filled shit canoes.

If Uday and Qusay Trump appear on stage tonight and open their mouths to sing their horrid racist father’s praises but instead emit twin streams of projectile vomit while simultaneously shitting their pants, I will reconsider my lifelong atheism.

Open thread!



Nothing weird or creepy about this…

trump CREEPER phone

Did Donald Trump use a secret phone console to listen in on guest and employee calls at his Mar-A-Lago resort? Probably! Via Buzzfeed:

At Mar-a-Lago, the Palm Beach resort he runs as a club for paying guests and celebrities, Donald Trump had a telephone console installed in his bedroom that acted like a switchboard, connecting to every phone extension on the estate, according to six former workers…

BuzzFeed News spoke with six former employees familiar with the phone system at the estate. Four of them — speaking on condition of anonymity because they signed nondisclosure agreements — said that Trump listened in on phone calls at the club during the mid-2000s. They did not know if he eavesdropped more recently….

“He listened in,” said one source with deep knowledge of the working of the phones and Trump’s phone use. This person added that workers were told to be aware of it. For example, this source recalled a time when a staff member was on the phone with a club member. During the phone call, Trump called the staff member on another line to weigh in on the very issue that was being discussed. “There is no other way you could know what that conversation was about unless you were eavesdropping,” this source said.

A second source said he had direct knowledge that Trump “could pick up the phone in the bedroom and listen to any conversation that was going on.” This person said Trump used it “to eavesdrop.” This source said that some staff, who used a separate switchboard, knew when Trump was listening in on calls, because when he did, a light on that switchboard would come on…

The two former Mar-a-Lago officials who said there was no eavesdropping acknowledge that there was a switchboard in Trump’s room. One, who left Mar-a-Lago last year to pursue real estate, is John Velez, the former Mar-a-Lago director of security. “He had a switchboard,” Velez said, but “the switchboard is just for him to dial out.”

Velez called it “ridiculous” that Trump could listen in on phone calls. Instead, Velez said, Trump used the console just so that he would not have to use a dial pad or call the operator. “Trying to remember extensions to every suite is impossible,” he said.

Yeah…it makes a lot more sense to install a console with a line to every suite instead of issuing a phone directory.

[T]he tycoon’s former butler, Anthony Senecal…maintains that this was for simplicity’s sake. “A lot of his friends stayed at Mar-a-Lago and he didn’t want to go through the front desk.”

Senecal said he did not know whether the phone could be used by Trump to eavesdrop on calls. “As far as listening in I can’t believe he would ever do that. I don’t know that he ever did that. I can’t see him doing that.”

Yeah, the insane racist butler is totally credible. Damn, Trump is one creepy mofo.



Cloud Cuckoo Land

After revoking the WaPo’s press credentials for accurately reporting that he insinuated President Obama is in league with terrorists, Trump is now doubling down on that very same bat-shit insane accusation and tweet-wanking over his own alleged prescience yet again:

The embedded article from Trump propaganda outlet Breitbart is entitled “Hillary Clinton Received Secret Memo Stating Obama Admin ‘Support’ for ISIS.” Vigorously auditioning for the role of “MiniTruth” in the dystopian hellhole of a Trump administration, the Breitbartians offer proof of nothing but their own disconnection from reality and inability to comprehend an intelligence report. Hillary Clinton is not amused:

Early on in this circus, someone observed that Trump’s success in the GOP primary was based on his willingness to ratchet up the insults and accusations beyond the bounds of rational discourse but that eventually, he would run out of room to escalate without sounding like a drooling psychopath.

Fellow citizens, we’ve arrived at that moment: The primaries officially ended last night, and Trump is already accusing both his opponent and the sitting President of the United States of being traitors who conspire with ISIS. I don’t believe in Peak Trump, but I am having a hard time imagining where he goes from here. The Illuminati? Chem trails? Lizard people? Help me out here…



It’s SO On

Obama-Hillary-WH

I’m so proud to be a Democrat today. We elected and then reelected President Barack Obama, a man whose vision, steadiness, wisdom and genuine human decency have inspired millions of people around the world (and personally restored my faith in politics and America). And now we’ve nominated and will work our asses off to elect Hillary Clinton, an incredibly intelligent, diligent, dedicated and supremely qualified woman who understands the nature of our opponents and knows how to keep us moving forward.

And as if that weren’t exciting enough, the combined forces of stupidity and hubris have bestowed upon us a comic book villain of an opponent in GOP nominee Donald J. Trump. A preening narcissist, vile racist, odious sexist, sleazy con man, bully and braggart — is Trump not the Platonic Ideal of the modern Republican Party, a hideous bastard born of an unholy, unspeakable three-way between David Duke, Bernie Madoff and Phyllis Schlafly? Plutocracy lickspittles like Paul Ryan and debauched patricians such as the Bushes may recoil in horror, but they built that.

But you know what? Democrats are always tasked with cleaning up Republicans’ messes, and who better than hardworking Hillary to take on the Herculean task of sweeping all that nasty Trump out the door? But damn it, people, we’ve got to help her get it done. Volunteer. Donate. Knock on doors. Persuade friends. Placate frenemies. Register voters. Enter data. Lick envelopes. Attend rallies. Above all, support Democratic candidates at the local, state and federal level.

Because Trump does not deserve to merely lose. He must be pantsed before all the world to wipe away the embarrassing stain of his nomination. When he takes the stage after the polls close in 152 days and does his Mussolini jaw-jut, I want to see his protruding lower lip tremble with incipient tears. I want to watch his insufferably smug sons sobbing into each other’s Armani lapels as they contemplate the extinction-level hit to the Trump brand. I want to see mascara streaks staining the cheeks of the Robert Palmer video-like female entourage assembled behind the humiliated candidate.

The Republicans embarrassed this great nation by nominating a clueless, vulgar buffoon to lead it. It’s up to us to make it right. So it’s on, people. We can do this. We must do this. We will do this.



Turn around; don’t drown!

Today in Houston, where they’ve had over a foot of rain:

Damn! I got caught in a rainstorm in Jacksonville, FL many years ago and was driving down a water-covered street, trying to find a place to pull over. Suddenly, I could feel my car floating, which is a scary-ass feeling.

Fortunately for me, I floated to a spot where I was able to get traction and pull up onto higher ground. The guy in the video wasn’t so lucky, but he’s damn fortunate to be alive. Amazing how the lights and windshield wipers were still working when only the radio antenna remained above the surface.

Be careful out there, Houston Juicers. Better yet, don’t go anywhere if you can help it.

Open thread!



True-Life Tales of Terror

Jezebel has their top 10 reader horror stories up here. Meh. I think we can do better, Juicers. Anyone got any true-life tales of terror to tell this Halloween? I’ll start us off, even though mine isn’t really all that scary. I’ve alluded to it briefly before, but here it is in detail:

My maternal grandmother is from the Carolinas. She was a schoolteacher when my sister and I were growing up, so she had summers off, and she’d take us on road trips to go camping, see historical sites (she was a history teacher) and visit relatives.

One of her cousins had inherited the old family manse, which was built in the 1820s (I think):

haunted house

Everyone assumed Cousin Howard was gay because he never married or had a girlfriend that anyone ever heard about, and he was a natty dresser with a flair for decorating. Back then, people made those kinds of assumptions.

(Now that I think back on it, Cousin Howard’s speech and mannerisms were somewhat reminiscent of Senator Lindsey Graham’s, another confirmed bachelor from the Carolinas. So maybe things haven’t changed so much after all, as far as assumptions go.) Read more



Friday Afternoon Open Thread

I’m not the praying type (there’s the disbelief in gods thing), but if I were, I’d send one up for Mexico right about now:

hurricane patricia

Hurricane Patricia is forecast to make landfall pretty soon as the strongest hurricane in history. Here’s hoping people got the hell out of the way while they still could. As usual, the people who can least afford it will likely bear the brunt. They will need our help.

Open thread.