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“Foreigner” Policy Open Thread: The Trump/Miller ‘Eff You, John McCain’ Order

Frankly, I’m taking this as one more data point that Trump doesn’t expect to be around after 2020… or, at least, his loyal minions don’t expect him to be:

Previously, children born to U.S. citizen parents were considered to be “residing in the United States,” and therefore would be automatically given citizenship under Immigration and Nationality Act 320. Now, children born to U.S. service members and government employees, such as those born in U.S. military hospitals or diplomatic facilities, will not be considered as residing in the U.S., changing the way that they potentially receive citizenship.

The change in policy was first reported by San Francisco Chronicle reporter Tal Kopan.

According to USCIS, previous legislation also explicitly said that spouses of service members who were living outside the U.S. because of their spouses were considered residing in the U.S., but “that no similar provision was included for children of U.S. armed forces members in the acquisition of citizenship context is significant.”

That is one of the reasons why USCIS has now decided that those children are not considered to be residing in the U.S., and therefore will not be automatically given citizenship. Instead, they will fall under INA 322, which considers them to be residing outside the U.S. and requires them to apply for naturalization…

I hope this is quashed with a quickness, because it’s not only cruel and stupid, it’s gonna be a disincentive for recruitment, yes?

Respite Open Thread: Well, This Probably Won’t End Well

So…this happened:

Tardigrades on the Moon – great band name.

So…let’s recap. A craft carrying Tardigrades AND human DNA crashes on the moon. Nothing to see here, I’m sure they all perished on impact…right? RIGHT?

Sounds like the logline for a great Scifi movie…or the future invasion of earth.

Respite open thread



I Have Many, Many Questions: Cosmetic Surgery Gone Awry Edition

I realize that mine was done as part of a religious ritual when I was 8 days old, but I would think that if you’re chatting with the nurses and technicians while getting botox and you notice that they’re not giving you any injections in your face, but they are manipulating other tender portions of your anatomy, you might ask what exactly is going on!!!

A pensioner circumcised by mistake after going to a hospital for a procedure involving botox has been handed £20,000 compensation by the NHS.

Terry Brazier was given the procedure after medics at Leicester Royal Infirmary mixed up his notes.

Mr Brazier claims he was so distracted chatting to nurses he didn’t realise he was getting a different procedure until it was too late.

Speaking to the Daily Star he said: “I went in the surgery for some Botox and they ended up circumcising me.

“They didn’t know what to say when they found out they’d done it, they said they can’t send me back to the ward and they needed to talk to me.

“The nurse was at the side of me and we were talking so I didn’t know what was going on.

“It was a real surprise.”

Andrew Furlong, Medical Director at University Hospitals of Leicester, said: “We remain deeply and genuinely sorry that this mistake occurred, and I would like to take this opportunity to once again apologise to Mr Brazier.

“We take events like this very seriously and carried out a thorough investigation at the time to ensure that we learnt from this incident and do all we can to avoid it happening again.

“Whilst money can never undo what happened, we hope this payment provides some compensation.”

“When they found out they’d done it?”

What is that even supposed to mean? He got circumcised because the medical professionals working on him were undertaking sleep surgery? Because they went on break for a cuppa and a mohel just happened to walk by, had his bris kit with him, and decided to undertake an unscheduled bris?

I guess this could have been much, much worse given the area they actually wound up operating on, but really?

Remember to mark your body parts pre-op or risk an unhappy ending!

Open thread!*

* This is, indeed, an open thread. However, we would like you to not attack each other over the correct or incorrect application of insults to politicians, reporters, and/or other commenters. Also, please no correcting the grammar, syntax, and/or spelling in this post or any of the comments. Complaining about the weather is also off limit. In fact, just to be safe, we’d like you to just talk about puppies and kittens. Thanks, the Management

Ringfenced for Sanitation Debate Recap: The Dark Psychic Forces Promoter

Ooo, shiny! Our Modern Media celebrities have the attention span of an ADD three-year-old on a Red Bull binge. If (when) the American Experiment crashes into Armageddon, its epitaph will be But Think of the Ratings!

(They actually call themselves the #orbgang. No, srsly.)

Anybody remember Lily Tomlin’s Tasteful Lady character from SNL? Mrs. Earbore was from Grosse Pointe, as Ms. Williamson claimed to be, and the Earbore decendents are Marianne’s natural… voters. The packaging has changed, but the absolute removal from normal human experience remains the same.

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Now For Something Completely Different: Across The Pond

In a thread this morning, Tony Jay broke down the latest on Brexit for us so well, I had to front page it:

Brexit News – Gather your children and run.

Oh it’s all going off now, isn’t it? Brexit, that genius plan to turn the United Kingdom into a bigger, juicier Bluestar Airlines en route to going full-on Airstrip One has hit a tiny, wee stumbling block. Turns out that Parliament, that wacky bunch of grey-suited mavericks and jobbing Executive Vice-Presidents for Arranging Contracts and Dat while Golfing, have decided that they don’t too much fancy the very likely prospect of being roasted for their meat by dispossessed proles in the smoldering ruins of Chipping Norton Conservative Club and would quite like to, maybe, I don’t know, exercise a bit of that ‘Parliamentary Sovereignty’ all the Leavers were banging on about non-stop back in the days when being humiliated and sent home from European capitals was more the preserve of our national football teams than our national government.

In a vote last night on an amendment put forward by Regency beau and racist jelly-mold Oliver Letwin a majority of Parliament chose to push the Government aside and hold a series of indicative votes on other options. Things like Revoking Article 50 (Brexit is sent to bed with a cup of hemlock), having a straight 2nd Referendum (Brexit has to re-apply for its job), a Norway style semi-membership (Brexit pops on a Viking helmet and is told “Ingen Sjance, Froken Brit!” by Norway), or whatever the Speaker decides is non-Unicornesque enough to get serious support. How the votes will take place, how they’ll be weighed, will they be subject to whipping (always popular amongst the Tories and their public schoolboy contingent) is all still up in the air, but the fact of the matter is that after three years of embarrassment and abuse Parliament has had just about enough of this Government’s blatant contempt for the democratic process and has, with a quivering jaw and mascara-streaked face, torn the Enoch Powell biography from Theresa May’s cold, dead hands and screamed “You will listen to me!” into the sudden, bewildered silence.

And what has Queen Theresa made of all this? Well she’s telling everyone who’ll listen that she’s not bothered. Just like she’s not bothered about the two hammering defeats her deal has already suffered, or the humiliating failure of her last display of British steel and diplomatic finesse in Europe, or even the Speaker’s refusal to let her deal get another vote without something more momentous than the font changing. None of it matters to Queen Theresa because she’s in a better place now, somewhere disagreeable impediments like votes and negotiations and basic reality can be safely disregarded because She’s the Queen of the Land of Do As You Please and everything else is noise. She can state, via her shrinking supply of pot-grown junior ministers, that no responsible Government can be expected to enact important legislation affecting the future of the country without knowing the desired end-point and process in advance with a blithe lack of even the most basic self-awareness. Not bothered. She can lecture Parliament on thinking it can force through revolutionary changes to centuries of constitutional tradition without reflecting for a moment on the fact that her Government is only still technically ‘in power’ because her predecessor’s Parliament made revolutionary changes to centuries of constitutional tradition with its Fixed Term Election Bill. Not bothered. She can even stand there and declare with a more-or-less straight face that No-Deal is both on and off the table at the same time, like a Schrodinger’s Cat of a policy, except this cat is ten feet long, long in tooth and claw and weighs the same as a small family house. She. Is. Not. Bothered.

Probably, it appears, because the Grand Wizards (no, really, that’s their term, because why not, eh?) of the Brexiteerean Jihad look like crumbling under the pressure of Reality and voting for May’s Deal de la Merde as the worst possible option they can hope to foist upon the country before the cock crows and everyone starts sobering up in the cold light of Brexit day. It’s like she’s spent so long huffing their ultra-high leaded emissions in pursuit of their votes that she hasn’t even noticed the way the Parliamentary math has shifted around her. Or, to put it in an even creepier way. She’s spent the whole of the School Leaver’s Party following Jacob (Call me Kyle) Reese-Mogg and his gang of Emo-Goth Randians and Ulster Exchange Student Militia around, laughing at their crap racist jokes and doing anything and everything she can, however degrading, to get them to come back to her house for an invite only After-Party, but, just as she’s finally got their muttered ‘okay, maybe, whatever’ in the bag, she turns to see that everyone else has got bored waiting and left to go and see what the beer is like at the Free Oompah Band and European Folk Music Festival in the local park. And now, in a final swipe of the dirty dishcloth of (what Western popular culture erroneously believes to be called) karma across the face of her dreams, Theresa learns that the only way anyone will even consider going to her party is if she’s not there.

How unfair, said nobody else.

Basically, it boils down to this. Parliament can indicative vote until it’s blue in the face, but it can’t force the Government to do anything the Government doesn’t want to do. OTOH, the E.U. has given May only one week to get her Withdrawal Deal passed, and if it doesn’t, well, there’s a hard deadline of April 12th for Britain to come up with an alternative that Parliament – can – support and – crucially – the E.U. will accept. The balance of power has slowly, steadily shifted under the crushing weight of glacial reality so it’s no longer May’s Government stuffing her deal in the face of Parliament and saying “Vote for this or the country gets it”, but rather Parliament itself deciding on a version of Brexit enough of them can coalesce around (crucially, probably, I think, with a Confirmatory Public Vote rider tagged on to bring the anti-Brexit rationalists on board) and then shoving – that – into May’s face and saying “Let this get a free vote or the Tory Party gets it”. Remember, the entire concept of British Parliamentary democracy revolves around the idea that the faction that can harness and provide a majority for legislation gets to be the Government. No majority, no Government. Claiming to be the Government while refusing to enact the will of an – actual – majority, ooooh, now, that’s the kind of genuine constitutional crisis we never got before the stupid Fixed Term Election Bill and one that has only one answer, a resounding vote of No Confidence and a General Election.

Interesting days.

Now, back to your scheduled countdown to the release of the – actual – Mueller Report rather than the hastily scribbled customer review put out by the guy being paid to protect Trump.

I will tell you, Brexit confuses me much like the election of IQ45 must confuse our allies…but I sure enjoy Tony Jay’s hot takes on it. I look forward to many more.