Floriduh! Woman Or Cat Blogging? You Make the Call

We report, you decide!

Obligatory:

Open Thread!








Get offa my lawn!

Well, dock, to be more specific:

The river is just below flood stage, which this gator interpreted as an invitation to hoist itself up onto the dock for a snooze. I interrupted its rest, first with a photo, then by performing my version of the “lion’s roar” from Kung Fu Hustle. It skedaddled.

The National Weather Service predicts water levels will drop back toward normal this week. Good!

Open thread!








Floriduh! Woman: Concealed Carry Edition

I don’t think this is allowed even with a valid Florida Concealed Weapons License!

Take it away WNDU!

PUNTA GORDA, Fla. (AP) – Officials say a Florida woman who pulled a small alligator from her yoga pants during a traffic stop and illegally possessed numerous other wild animals has been sentenced to probation after pleading guilty to four charges.

Florida prosecutors say a Charlotte County sheriff’s deputy stopped a pickup truck in May after it ran a stop sign. The driver, 22-year-old driver Michael Clemons, told the deputy he and his 25-year-old passenger, Ariel Machan-Le Quire, were collecting frogs and snakes under an overpass. He gave the deputy permission to search bags in the truck.

When the deputy found 41 3-stripe turtles in a “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle” backpack, he asked if Machan-Le Quire had anything else. She pulled the 1-foot gator from her pants.

Officials say the Clemons case is pending.

I hope she was at least using a holster!

Open thread!








All That’s Missing From This Story Is an Alligator, a Golf Cart, and Several Kilos of Cocaine: Approaching Peak Floriduh! Man

Welcome to the Gunshine State!

Is that a GLOCK in your orgy party outfit pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Take it away Daytona Beach News-Journal!

A 9 mm Glock was taken from a bedroom during a sex party, in which guests wore masks during the orgy and were encouraged to use code names, deputies say

A handgun was swiped from a Deltona home during a weekend sex party and the gun owner couldn’t give detectives any names of possible suspects because the culprit — like the 20 or so other guests at the party — was wearing a mask, deputies said.

“We’re probably not going to solve this one,” Volusia County Sheriff’s Sgt. Todd Smith said during a public meeting Thursday. “And DNA (identification) is not going to be an option.”

The 9 mm Glock was holstered and lying on top of a nightstand in the master bedroom when it was stolen, the homeowner told deputies. It was taken during an orgy, in which the theme was anonymous sex, according to a report.

Guests who were invited to the party near Saxon Boulevard were encouraged to “come and go as they pleased” throughout the weekend and were told to bring friends and acquaintances if they so desired, the report stated.

Additionally, guests were told to use fictitious names or no name at all, the homeowner told the Sheriff’s Office.

The orgy took place July 19-21 and deputies were contacted a few days later. On July 26, the detective assigned to the case called the homeowner for more information, but he seemed “apprehensive” about giving further details.

The homeowner eventually told the detective that 20 or so people were in his house that weekend and he guessed that he only knew five or six of them, the report stated.

The party was advertised on a social media site, deputies said.

All this needed to achieve peak Floriduh! Man is an alligator, a golf cart, and several kilos of cocaine!

Open thread!








FloridDuh! Woman: Electoral Edition

This is a little too on the nose for even Florida if you ask me.

Loomer is originally from the Miami area, but who has lived in Arizona and New York as well, has, apparently recently moved back Florida just to run for Congress. The Democratic incumbent is Lois Frankel, who has been representing this district,  since 2017 and prior to that represented Florida as the representative from District 22, which after redistricting is now represented by Congressman Ted Deutch.  Frankel has also been the mayor of West Palm Beach, and was the minority leader in the Florida state House of Representatives.

From what I know of Loomer – deliberatively and almost shamelessly provocative, racist and bigoted, especially against Muslims, friendly with either those in the alt-right and extreme right circles playing footsie with white supremacists and neo-NAZIs or actually with white supremacists, neo-NAZIs, the men’s rights nutbars and Milo, as well as being a fantacist and a conspiracist – I think the real reason for Loomer’s run is both to suck up money through donations and to force social media platforms to let her back on. I fully expect that she is going to use her candidacy to try to force twitter, Instagram, and YouTube to let her back on and monetize those platforms because if they don’t they’re aiding her political opponent in the election. All while monetizing her election as an income stream because she doesn’t actually have any actual employment.

Open thread!