It turned into a ballroom blitz

This morning Martin Longman made what I think is the first correct interpretation of what happened with Ted Cruz last night. Yes, the Trump campaign had Ted Cruz’s speech in advance. I am sure that they read it. They almost certainly discussed it with Cruz. So how could such a disaster happen with their eyes open?

The answer is that it all happened just like Trump wanted. In wrestling terms Trump lured Cruz on stage and surprised him with a heel turn.

A sensible person would tell me that could not possibly be true. That speech blew apart the Republican party. The crowd screamed for Ted’s head and the donor class almost killed him. The whole idea of party unity is dead like Chef in South Park. If Trump had a breath of hope in November this screwup put the last nail in that coffin, epoxied the lid, welded the seams, encased it in reinforced concrete and dropped it off a cargo ship with the GPS turned off.

That leads us to 2020. Ted Cruz just saw his stature go up a hundred times with the faction of Republicans who would normally fill all those empty seats. And that convention is missing a lot of Republicans (NSFW article title). Erick Erickson should start talking about Cruz 2020 any day now. The No Homers Trumps Club will have the driver’s seat in four years, so Cruz just became the de facto leader of post-2016 Republicans.

From a strategic perspective that makes last night an unmitigated catastrophe. The only thing worse than the Cruz meltdown was the raging insanity that Trump said about NATO to the NYT, which is almost too big a deal to blog. I want to leave that to Adam Silverman if he’s still with us. It is hard to process how dumb Trump would have to be not only to allow the Cruz thing to happen but make it worse by orchestrating a crowd riot. But never forget Josh Marshall’s guiding maxim about Trump.

Trump’s Razor: Ascertain the stupidest possible scenario that can be reconciled with the available facts”.

So I have to disagree with everyone but Longman about this. The stupidest possible scenario is not Trump blindly stumbling into an ambush by Cruz. Laziness maxes the stupid meter at maybe a six or seven. It’s a sin of omission. The stupidest possible thing Trump could do is set the trap for essentially selfish/malicious reasons and then congratulate himself like Hannibal from the A-Team when the disaster sets his campaign on fire just like he planned.

Consider a few things.
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What in the Wide World of Fuck…

Just catching up on last night’s news. Let me see if I have this straight:

Rodent fornicator Ted Cruz double-crossed Trump by failing to endorse him in his convention speech and exhorting so-con crazies to “vote their conscience,” i.e., vote for someone other than Trump. Moreover, Cruz provided an accurate transcript of his speech hours before delivery and ingeniously relied on the Trump organization’s incompetence to ensure it wouldn’t be reviewed in advance.

Master political strategist Trump triple-crossed Cruz by knowingly allowing him to deliver his non-endorsement speech while sending Trump minions to whip the crowd up into an anti-Cruz frenzy, such that Mrs. Cruz had to be hustled from the convention floor to safety by security guards. This is all good for Team Trump because it shows Trump is “well-liked” and that everyone despises Cruz.

In a NYT interview, Trump signaled a novel partnership with Vladimir Putin, in which Trump will stand by while Putin slams smaller NATO countries against the wall, and then Trump will emerge to shake those countries down for protection money. Will Putin get a cut? Probably in the form of an occasional annexation as an example to other countries that they better pony up.

Does that about cover it?

RNC Night Three Open Thread: Let the Knifings Begin!

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Open Thread: Your Republican Party, America!

The Throne Room

I’ve come to dislike Trump’s adult children almost as much as I abhor their despicable father. I realize it isn’t their fault that they are trophy-wife crotch-fruit sired by a narcissistic con man. And as the daughter of a gentleman with appalling political views, I do understand keeping filial affection and partisan affinity separate. But the Trumplings are actively trying to foist their buffoonish oaf of a father off on the rest of us, so fuck them.

Anyhoo, by choice, I missed most of last night’s GOP hate-fest, but I did catch the bit when Trump’s pampered, obnoxious princelings “threw Donald Trump over the top” with the New York delegation’s votes, thus officially securing the nomination for their lying, racist demagogue father, even if they aren’t registered to vote in New York themselves.

Then Trump himself appeared on the Jumbotron, his second visitation in as many days at the party convention, where candidates traditionally only show up on the final night to accept the nomination.

Teddy Roosevelt’s daughter once said her father had to be “the bride at every wedding and the corpse at every funeral.” TR was a humble soul compared to Trump, who can’t resist being the entire wedding party and funeral procession. But the background that framed Trump in his pre-acceptance acceptance announcement looked suspiciously like an upscale shower stall:

trump bathroom address

Honest to dog, y’all — I think that flag is hiding a soap tray and shampoo caddy. Even the acoustics sounded restroom-like when the miniscule-fingered, gerbil-headed, apricot-hued nutsack spoke.

So why was Trump broadcasting from the can? Could it be he was driven there by an enraged Mrs. Trump, who had just chased him around the penthouse — flinging bejeweled Jimmy Choo stilettos at him like martial arts stars — in retaliation for the humiliation of making her read a plagiarized speech? Maybe!

Open thread.

Late Night Open Thread: RNC Fustercluck, Night the Second

Don’t worry, even now, the grown-ups are working behind the scenes… Aieeee! Nazgul! Shadow Riders!

RNC Live Feed – Day 2

Looks like we could use another thread….laugh and mock at will.