Lighter than Freon Late-Night Open Thread: Cheeseball Decor for A Spray-Cheez ‘President’

Per the Washington Post:

… “This masterpiece is hanging at the White House,” Kimmel said, barely able to contain his laughter…

“There are only three living people in this painting,” he said. “Two of them hate Donald Trump. The other one is Donald Trump.” He added: “What a beautifully crafted piece of narcissism.”…

“It’s hard to figure out which piece of insanity to focus on,” Kimmel said, “the fact that Richard Nixon and Abraham Lincoln, in this scenario, are friends or that Donald Trump weighs less than 200 pounds in this painting.”…

“Ironic”, my flabby Irish arse, Vanity Fair. Trump’s got this print hanging where he and the rest of the world can see it because he likes it.

So what’s going on here? Why is President Trump, a man of taste, a man who would not do this without good reason, doing this? One word, two syllables: midterms. The midterms! He’s doing a thing where he pretends to be gauche and self-obsessed to expose all the snobs right before the midterms, and laughs and laughs, much like noted good-time guy Richard Nixon in this painting. He’s exposing all the snobby snobs as they come out of the woodwork to yell at the top of their blown gaskets, “It’s too easy! You’re making it too easy to laugh at you, and it’s actually exasperating at this point!”

It’s that, or President Trump thinks that the portrait depicts actual events, and so it’s a very important historical piece to have in his home. It’s a toss-up, really.

I’m sure the artist is a very nice man, but if Trump had the merest modicum of taste, he’d support the guy who created it, beyond hanging a cheap copy some fellow grifter gave him. I own art prints, and even collector plates, but if by some unimaginable catastrophe I end up with Oval Office privileges, you can be damn sure I’ll at least upgrade to a nice original… assuming I can’t persuade the artist into a commission!



So, this happened… (Open Thread)

We really are living in the dumbest goddamned timeline. Open thread!



Saturday Morning Open Thread: IMPOLITE ARROGANT WOMAN!

Yeah, used to be a woman was ‘sacred’ — as long as she didn’t speak up, make waves, stand up for what she believed in. But times have changed, Mr. Kelly!

I got an email from my favorite Senator:

You probably remember: Right after Donald Trump became President, one of his first orders of business was launching an illegal, bigoted Muslim ban.

We all felt powerless at the time – Republicans had just won the White House and both branches of Congress – but my staff and I wanted to do something about it. So we tried to get answers from the Department of Homeland Security about their policy of illegally detaining Massachusetts residents (and their family members) at Boston Logan Airport.

There was only one problem: Trump’s new Director of Homeland Security – John Kelly – wouldn’t return our calls and emails. My staff emailed back and forth with his staff, but we couldn’t get them to set up a call or answer our questions.

When I finally did get on the phone with John Kelly, I asked if he had an office number that I could use in the future to get in touch more quickly. He brushed me off, directing me to the main line listed on the Department of Homeland Security’s website (really). Even worse, he bizarrely insisted that I’d made the whole thing up and we’d never tried to reach him in the first place. I happened to be looking at all the emails between his staff and my staff when he said this, so I started reading them to him. He accused me again of making it all up.

So what happened next? You guessed it – I persisted. I asked again for his number. He hemmed and hawwed, and he again tried to give me the Department’s main line. Let’s just say that’s when the conversation really started getting awkward – and that I persisted longer than he did. Eventually, he didn’t just give me his office number – he gave me his cell number…

Was I tough on John Kelly in that phone call? You bet I was. And apparently he didn’t like it. According to an email he wrote about our conversation just afterwards, which was just released, he called me “an impolite arrogant woman”

What an impolite arrogant woman. She immediately began insulting our people accusing them of not following the court order, insulting and abusive behavior towards those covered by the pause, blah blah blah.

“Blah blah blah.” That’s all he had to say when he was called out for breaking the law and destroying lives. And I don’t know about John Kelly – but there are some men who can only hear “blah blah blah” whenever a woman’s talking. One of his aides wrote back, “Too bad Senate Majority Leader McConnell couldn’t order her to be quiet again!”

Clever. Well, Mitch McConnell can’t shut me up – and neither can John Kelly. (He can’t even get Donald Trump off Twitter, and as far as I can tell, that was his main job description when he took on the role of White House Chief of Staff)…

ALL THE SHADE, from the Senator Professor.

Is there merch available? Of course there is! As one twitter user wrote, “Etsy is not ready for what’s about to happen here.” You can order some directly from Warren’s website, or look around for other options (I kinda like “Impolite Arrogant Women Get Things Done.”)



Repub Venality Open Thread: Rand Paul Has THOTS, Y’All!

Yeeeah, not really: Rand Paul is the GOP’s whiny little brother, who gets shoved first through the back door when they need to find out just how mad Mom is about those mysterious neighborhood vandalisms and the resulting ‘drop by’ from the police. Pretty mad, it turns out!



President of the Unbearable Shitheads (POTUS)

Hurricane Michael just roared ashore in the Florida panhandle with sustained winds at 155 MPH. Trump and his droopier-than-usual ‘do held a press availability to demonstrate that he can watch a radar blob cross a screen and utter inanities about it. A reporter asked if Trump would cancel his MAGA circle jerk in PA tonight to monitor the situation in Florida:

“Not my president” became a popular rallying cry in the days after Trump was sleazed into office. While certainly an understandable sentiment, it’s inaccurate in a sense because, thanks to the slaver vestigial Electoral College, voter suppression and foreign interference, Trump is technically the President of the United States.

But as he’s demonstrated time and time again, Trump considers citizens who don’t support him (the majority!) as enemies, not constituents. He rails against “angry mobs” that are in fact patriotic citizens exercising their right to peaceably assemble and express themselves. And he’d rather go jerk off with a bunch of slack-jawed cultists in Pennsylvania than show respect for the citizens in mortal peril in Florida.

So yeah, not my president.



Late Night Horrorshow Open Thread: Nekkid Emperor Accepts the Public Submission of His New Lictor


 
#Bubbly4Brett is the #LetThemEatCake of this Backlash Decade. How, after all, could one expect the poor man to go through this farce with no alcoholic lubrication?…



Open Thread: Taylor Swift Is No Longer the GOP’s ‘White Goddess’

Let’s face it, a lot of professional Repubs are just 4Chan fascists with better social training…

Tears on their waifu pillows!

Sunday night… Swift broke that political silence to endorse Phil Bredesen, the Democrat running for the U.S. Senate in her home state of Tennessee—and issue a damning indictment of his competitor, Republican Marsha Blackburn.

“In the past I’ve been reluctant to publicly voice my political opinions,” Swift wrote on Instagram, “but due to several events in my life and in the world in the past two years, I feel very differently about that now.”

“I always have and always will cast my vote based on which candidate will protect and fight for the human rights I believe we all deserve in this country,” she continued. “I believe in the fight for LGBTQ rights, and that any form of discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender is WRONG. I believe that the systemic racism we still see in this country towards people of color is terrifying, sickening and prevalent. I cannot vote for someone who will not be willing to fight for dignity for ALL Americans, no matter their skin color, gender or who they love.”…

Swift’s endorsement provoked anger and disappointment for white supremacists on 4chan, who have created a bizarre fandom around Swift as the ideal white conservative woman. In a 4chan thread about the endorsement, 4chan posters bemoaned the loss of their pop idol, calling her “traitorous.” One user posted an image of a picture of Swift burning, while another added a meme saying the Bredesen endorsement had cost him his “last additional bit of hope.”

“It was good while it lasted, mates,” one 4chan user wrote…

Alyssa Rosenberg, at the Washington Post:

What makes Swift’s endorsements intriguing isn’t the sense that she’s finally caught up to her celebrity peers. By the standards of Hollywood, Swift’s declaration — “I believe in the fight for LGBTQ rights and that any form of discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender is wrong. I believe that the systemic racism we still see in this country towards people of color is terrifying, sickening and prevalent” — makes her decidedly middle-of-the-road.

Rather, it was Swift’s allusion to “several events in my life and in the world in the past two years” that changed her mind about going public with her politics. Though she didn’t specify which events she was referring to, it’s entirely possible that the confluence of Swift’s civil suit against a man who groped her and the #MeToo movement provided that catalyst…

Let’s #BlameItOnBrett — see if that discourages any of his newfound ‘economically anxious’ friends.