Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

How do you get liars to care about the truth?

It’s not even safe to go out and pick up 2 days worth of poop anymore.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn – Nancy Pelosi

Women: they get shit done

I’m going back to the respite thread.

I did not have this on my fuck 2020 bingo card.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

Wetsuit optional.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

Shelter in place is one thing. Shelter in pants is quite another.

Fuck if i know. i just get yelled at when i try it.

Militantly superior in their own minds…

Trump is going to draw a dick on that dog with a sharpie, isn’t he?

Four legs? good! two legs? we’re not so sure…

Good luck with your asparagus.

I’m only here for the duck photos.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Where tasty lettuce and good mustard aren’t elitist.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Saul Alinsky is my co-pilot.

Deploy the moving finger of emphasisity!

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

You are here: Home / Archives for Politics / Politicans / Rick Perry Presents "Rick Perry"

Rick Perry Presents "Rick Perry"

Because I am a Kind Man…

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…and wish only the best for you all, may I present the Honorable Rick Perry, Governor of the Great (Secessionist) State of Texas, tragically mistaken in his quest for the nearest ZZ Top venue.  (The really good stuff starts around 4:45)

<div align=”center”><iframe width=”560″ height=”315″ src=”http://www.youtube.com/embed/nsHCgCfLe_I” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen></iframe></div>

My thanks to Marc Abrahams, best known as the impresario of the IgNobels and the Annals of Improbable Research, for turning me on to this forgotten gem.

(To be fair:  Perry does his job just fine here.  Governating puts all kinds of demands on one’s sense of the surreal, and the man with the hair holds up pretty well.  But still.  It really is a moment of high-camp absurdity.)

Perhaps this might be considered a snicker and snark open thread?*

*Is there any other kind?

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Alarmed by the seduction

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Over the next few weeks, we’re going to hear a lot about Herman Cain’s history of inappropriate and awkward sexual advances, and none of it is going to be pleasant. I suggest that, as much as possible, we ignore it. I know, however, that I will not be able to, not with Season 5 of “Mad Men” months away.

I have only one question: does this have real mythological staying power? Will Luke Nocera and Meghan Halperin some day agree that all the unpleasantness of 2036 politics dates back to ACORN’s and Rahm Emmanuel’s dastardly attempts to destroy Herman Cain?

I think it may have more staying power than people think because Cain’s polls numbers have not been affected much yet, so we could have as much as a few months of blaming the lamestream media for this story, etc. before Cain — who never had a chance anyway — completely implodes. That’s plenty of time to cook up myths about how Journolist was responsible for the whole thing.

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Rick Perry to OWS Protestors: “Money is highly overrated.”

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So then give me yours.

 Rick Perry is ridiculous:

Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry on Tuesday advised protesters in the Occupy movement to worry less about income inequality.

“You know, we have young people who are today occupying Wall Street, that there are some people out there that are making too much money,” the Texas governor said at an education forum in Des Moines, Iowa. “And if somebody were to ask me what the best advice that I could give them? It would be that money is probably the most highly overrated thing in the world.”

“It’s good to have some,” he admitted. “Because I’ve been without and I’ve had some, and it’s better to have some.”

Lay off the sauce, buddy.

[via Raw Story]

[cross-posted at Angry Black Lady Chronicles]

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Was Rick Perry Hammered During His New Hampshire Speech or What?

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I’m going with “yes.”

I’m not judging the man for drinking. (Hey, I loves me my scotch.) But if I were running for president, I probably wouldn’t give a speech wasted. (Probably.)

Check out the clip below, which went viral this weekend.  If you don’t have the stamina to watch 8 minutes of Rick Perry (I almost didn’t), you should at least watch the first 3 minutes. It’s… um… interesting:

Fom Daily Mail:

Manchester Mayor Ted Gatsas told Huffington Post after the speech: ‘It was different’, but added he had never seen anything like it before

A Perry spokesman said in an email: ‘The Governor is passionate about the issues he talks about.’

Those in attendance said that passion is not a word to describe his performance, off the wall, bizarre and rambling though, were more adequate.

One Republican operative who watched the video called it ‘strange and peculiar’, and said it could prove fatal to Perry’s campaign.  Others questioned whether he was on medication or if he had had a few drinks before he came on stage. Nevertheless, he appeared uncomfortable and erratic in parts and sweat glistened on his forehead.

His camp have yet to issue an official statement about the speech.

At least now we know what a pre-wagon George Bush would’ve sounded like.

[via Daily Mail]

[cross-posted at Angry Black Lady Chronicles]

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Sarah Silverman and Wyatt Cenac on Rick Perry Presents “Niggerhead Ranch”

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Laughing to keep from crying.

Sarah Silverman rocks:

Comedian and TV actress Sarah Silverman is set to thump Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry with a provocatively titled live comedy show in his home state.

Silverman is marshaling fellow comics for a fund-raiser in Texas titled, “Live From N*****head: Stripping The Paint Off Of Good Ol’ Fashioned Racism.”
The title refers to the controversy over Perry’s West Texas hunting campground where the candidate has entertained friends and supporters. The campground’s former name, “Niggerhead,” was painted on a rock at the entrance for many years.

“This is a never-forget moment,” Silverman said. “The show’s provocative name holds a mirror up to an ugliness that seems to have become yesterday’s news without having barely even made news.”

The show will be announced Friday and held at the Paramount Theater in Austin on Nov. 1. Silverman plans to donate all proceeds to the NAACP.
Asked about the mocking use of the N-word in the title of a show to benefit the civil rights organization, Silverman told EW, “The positive thing about N-head and other outwardly racist actions — like trying to put the Confederate f—ing flag on Texas license plates — is that it’s no longer just a gas in the air. It’s something you can point to. It’s something you can fight against and expose. So I see this as an opportunity that should be taken.”

Right on, Sarah.

And just because I meant to post it two weeks ago, here is Wyatt Cenac’s hilarious bit on The Daily Show about Niggerhead Ranch:

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Lining Up Behind A Loser

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Looks like Gov. John Kasich’s union-busting bill is about to go down in flames with just two weeks to go until the election.

The campaign to save Senate Bill 5 is taking on water, with a new poll showing voters favor a repeal of the collective bargaining crackdown on Ohio’s public workers by a 57-to-32 percent margin.

The findings in the Quinnipiac University poll also show Gov. John Kasich’s popularity is in the same neighborhood as the S.B. 5 measure he has been campaigning to save. The survey of 1,668 registered voters found them disapproving of the governor’s job performance by 52-36 percent, up from a 49-40 percent negative rating in late September.

Oops.  With the measure at -25% and falling (along with Kasich’s approval ratings) it’s hard to imagine the bill passing at this point.  Such a massive rebuke to Kasich would basically be the end of his relevance as Governor (I hope.)

Oh, but look who picked the same day to jump on the pro-SB5 bandwagon?

Texas Gov. Rick Perry’s campaign Communications Director Ray Sullivan sends along the following statement on former Mass Gov. Mitt Romney’s failure to endorse conservative efforts to keep SB 5, Ohio’s new anti-union law.

“Mitt Romney’s finger-in-the-wind politics continued today when he refused to support right-to-work reforms signed by Ohio Governor John Kasich – reforms Romney supported in June. Americans are tired of politicians who change their beliefs to match public opinion polls. Mitt Romney has a long record of doing this on issues like government-mandated health care and the Obama stimulus. Mitt Romney needs to realize that when you try to stand on both sides of an issue, you stand for nothing.”

Hey Rick?  The measure you support is about to get trashed by the people of Ohio.  What does that say about Perry’s judgement, to back a measure so universally reviled by “WE THE PEOPLE”? You might want to worry more about Texas than the Buckeye State, dig?

In fact, national Republicans are piling on Romney for not supporting a ballot measure that is most likely going to lose by 20 points or more.

But that’s today’s Republican Party for you.  In touch with the heartland!

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After Distracting You with Birther Nonsense, Rick Perry is Irritated the Media is Trying to Distract You With Birther Nonsense

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He’s in ur braynez, killin’ ur cells.

Rick Perry is trying to drive you insane. And by “you,” I mean “me.”

So, remember how Rick Perry brought up this birther nonsense, destiny farted, and all seemed as it should be? It was only — oh — like — TWO DAYS AGO.

Here’s a refresher:

SATURDAY: Rick Perry says he doesn’t know if he has seen President Obama’s birth certificate. “I don’t know. Have I?” he coyly purrs to a reporter for PARADE “magazine.”

MONDAY: Rick Perry, apparently blind to the fact that this birther shit is about as racist as it gets (it’s a fuzzy standard given the racist coating that surrounds the Tea Party’s gooey white center), says “It’s fun to poke at [Obama] a bit and say “Hey how about let’s see your grades and your birth certificate.” (Just as his ancestors thought it was fun to go huntin’ at Niggerhead.)

MINUTES LATER THAT MONDAY: Rick Perry calls the birther issue “a great distraction” but then says “I’m not distracted by it.”

TUESDAY: In response to a reporter questioning him about birther nonsense — the very same nonsense that he himself raised merely two days prior — Rick Perry says:

“You know, I’ll cut you off right there. That is one of the biggest distractions that there is going. We need to be talking about jobs. Somebody wants to see my birth certificate, I’d be happy to show it to ‘em. But the fact is, that is a distraction, and Americans really don’t care about that, if you want to know the truth of the matter. What Americans want to talk about is jobs. Who is going to lay out a plan, which will get America working again.”

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