Another Calendar Update

Everyone who has paypaled me is now on my master list as paid with their address (thank you for emailing them when paypal would not give me the info), and now I am just waiting on the checks coming in the mail and the calendars coming from the supplier.

If you have not paypal’d me the money and are going to, the directions are in this post. It looks like you fuckers have opted against the hot tub. Dicks.

If you need to mail a check, mail me at balloonjuicecalendar@gmail.com



(Just One More) Open Thread: Trump Hires Rufus T. Firefly, Esq.

Last for a few hours, anyways. I’m up way past my bedtime, and (not) looking forward to a long evening of shoveling heavy wet snow. BUT!…



Happy Festivus

I suppose there is supposed to be an airing of grievances, but I feel like I have been doing that every god damned day since that loathsome toad became President. I just hate this man with every fiber of my being, and I am not a small man. Other than not having the money I want to do things to the house, and this shithead scumbag being President, things are going pretty well.

As for feats of strength, I am going to attempt to make ice cream tonight and not eat all two quarts as soon as I make it.

Good word is that the Balloon Juice calendar should be done soon.

No idea what I am going to do tonight other than read the news and stew in anger at Trump.








Anger Bear

I’ve just been in a seething rage the past 48 hours. This tax bill may have pushed me over the edge. Oh, and shitheads like Mike Murphy, who looks like a conehead with pubic hair for a combover:

His response was to block me. Lying ass prick.

Penguins look like shit. At least SNL is new with Kevin Hart and the Foo Fighters.



A Brief Interlude

I’m sitting here, belly full, in a nice, warm, clean house, with three animals on top of me and one on the floor, watching the Punisher, and I just thought I would acknowledge how good I have it and stop bitching for ten seconds.

Ok, that ten seconds is over. Fuck motherfucking Donald Trump and everyone who voted for him.

What are you all up to tonight?



We’ll Go Dancing in the Dark, Walking Through Park

I swear to Allah it hasn’t even been a year with Trump as President and it already feels like he served longer than Obama. I’m not kidding you, it feels like TRUMP has been President for-FUCKING-EVER.

Katha Pollitt had a widely shared column that I totally agree with:

Unlike my friend’s, my life has changed a lot in the year since Trump was elected. Not materially, except for the fact that my stepson and daughter-in-law moved to Canada partly because, as non-citizens, they worried for their futures here in the US. I mean psychologically. I sometimes feel like I’m a different person now. I’m fidgety and irritable and have trouble concentrating. For months after the election, I could hardly read, except for books about Roman history, which turns out to be full of Trumps: fantastically rich sociopaths obsessed with crushing their enemies.

My work seems trivial: Given what we are facing, what difference does one more Nation column make? I might as well be an ancient Egyptian scribe logging production figures for cat mummies. In the old days, the days before Trump, it bothered me that so many people loved things I thought were stupid. Now I just think, Go ahead, enjoy yourself. Maybe your Batman DVDs will comfort you when we’re wandering around in the ashen hellscape of whatever apocalypse Trump will bring down upon us.

I know I have some form of PTSD or somee shit. It’s affecting my blogging, for sure. I see stuff I want to write about and I get halfway through thinking about what I say and before I have even written a word I’m seething with rage and I just say fuck it. I see that fucking slimy merkin Paul Ryan giving his smirking response to something and I just want to rip through the tv screen and scream “WHAT THE HELL IS FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU YOU FUCKING TRAITOR” and shake him by upside down by the ankles until his colon comes out his big goofy ears that beady eyed shit.

Now they’re defending pedophilia. These people are insane.

I just want Obama and a sense of normal back. That’s it.

Come back, Shane.








NFL Open Thread

I thought about picking a public fight with someone but it appears we already have that covered.

Also, lets send some positive thoughts to EFGoldman, that cantankerous old fart.

I am on day four of my man cold. I woke up feeling great, but now feel like shit again. On the upside, no fever since Friday (when it was just 101).

Also, my joints hurt.

Oh yeah, it’s almost November, so you all need to get your best pet pics together!