Conservatives Talk Rap Music: Rap Ain’t the Same Since Sir-Mix-A-Lot Quit the Game

National Review authors Mark Steyn (who hates Big Bird) and Jay Nordlinger (who likes calling Mexicans “wetback”) did a podcast where they discussed the decline of rap music.

Douche One thinks rap music lacks human feeling. Douche Two thinks rap music fell off since Sir Mix-A-Lot quit the game.

Yes, I’m serious.

[read full post at ABLC]

GOP Discusses Minority Outreach at a Hotel Where a Plantation Used to Be

burwell plantationWhat do you do when your party got trounced by the other side because women and minorities magically showed up to vote against you, and you just can’t figure out how to get them to stop doing that?

If you’re the GOP, you hold a panel on minority outreach in the “Burwell Plantation” conference room at a hotel in Virginia, where Lee Burwell’s actual plantation used to be.


[read full post at ABLC]

The KKK is Having a Membership Drive. You Should Join.

KKK Rally signApparently the KKK is trying to increase their membership, and they’re using Obama’s second term to do it. At first it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense since the very fact of Obama’s presidency means we’re living in a post-racial society, so we don’t need the KKK.

Then again, it’s fairly apparent that Obama plans to enslave whitey in his second term, so you better rise up against your Negro oppressors before I pick one of you to be my butler.

[read full post]

South Carolina Man Claims Really Racist Anti-Obama T-Shirt Isn’t Racist Because He Said So

A guy in South Carolina named Bob Cramer (who is totally not racist, by the way) is selling t-shirts featuring that image of President Obama dressed like a witchdoctor with a bone through his nose. You know the one — it was all the rage during the Death Panels Will Kill Us All era of the Obama presidency.

Bob has been told that it’s racist, but it’s not, he says. It’s political, he says. Besides, no black people have said shit to him about it, so… no fuss, no muss.

[read full post]

Larry Ward, Gun Appreciation Day Organizer: Dipshit Unchained

What is with gun nuts drawing crazy comparisons between guns and black people stuff?

First the NRA ex-president claimed that people are racist against guns. Then Ted Nugent claimed that gun owners are the new Rosa Parks. Now, Larry Ward, the organizer of Gun Appreciation Day, is claiming that slavery might never have happened if black people — excuse me — “African-Americans” had owned guns.

The irony of how Africans became African-Americans is, apparently, lost on crazy white folks.

Jesus beat me about the head and chest with the wheel.

[read full post]

Black Woman Jailed in Michigan For Cursing; Misses Christmas With Family

LaRue Ford was forced to spend the holidays in Berrien County jail in Michigan because Judge Dennis Wiley saw fit to hold her in contempt of court (and, later, to revoke her $5000 bond). Why?

Because she cursed under her breath in the Secretary of State clerk’s office.

It’s appalling:

asiangrrlMN will be along (at ABLC) forthwith to provide the appropriate profanity-laced tirade that this story deserves, but I have been yammering about this on Twitter and wanted to post it so people will know what the hell it is I’m yammering about.

Oh, and if anyone can explain to me how this judge could hold LaRue Ford in contempt of court for muttering “fuck this shit” under her breath at the clerk’s office, I would love to hear it.

***Notably, Benton Harbor is in Berrien County. If you’ve been following the emergency manager law shenanigans that Chris Savage of Eclectablog has been covering for the past year, you likely understand why this is relevant.

(h/t Temporarily Max McGee)

[via Follow the Leader]

[cross-posted at ABLC]

Arizona Republicans Reanimate Dead Birth Certificate Horse and Beat It Again


Keeping fucking that chicken, jackasses:

Members of the Electoral College formally cast their ballots for the 2012 presidential election in traditional ceremonies across the country today. In Arizona, three electoral voters — including state GOP Chairman Tom Morrissey — took the opportunity to question President Obama’s birth certificate as they cast their ballot for Mitt Romney, the AP reports.

“I’m not satisfied with what I’ve seen,” Morrissey said, according to a local radio station. “I think for somebody in the president’s position to not have produced a document that looks more legitimate, I have a problem with that.”

Actually? Better get a new chicken, because y’all done fucked this one to death.

As you may recall, Tom Morrissey was diagnosed with Obama Derangement Syndrome long ago, so this isn’t new. (I wrote about Morrissey here.) Still, its pretty goddamn embarrassing.

These fools are just yelling at the sky at this point. They need to sit down and shut up. The election is over. Nobody has time for this birther crap anymore.

Seriously. Shut it down.

[via TPM]

[cross-posted at ABLC]