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Respite Open Thread: Happy Birthday, Lily Tomlin

A patron saint for this, our moment in time…

No matter how cynical you become, it’s never enough to keep up.”








Monday Morning Open Thread: Because of Wow

For this brief moment, let us celebrate the wonder…


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And a slightly belated Eid Mubarak! to our Muslim readers…








All That’s Missing From This Story Is an Alligator, a Golf Cart, and Several Kilos of Cocaine: Approaching Peak Floriduh! Man

Welcome to the Gunshine State!

Is that a GLOCK in your orgy party outfit pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Take it away Daytona Beach News-Journal!

A 9 mm Glock was taken from a bedroom during a sex party, in which guests wore masks during the orgy and were encouraged to use code names, deputies say

A handgun was swiped from a Deltona home during a weekend sex party and the gun owner couldn’t give detectives any names of possible suspects because the culprit — like the 20 or so other guests at the party — was wearing a mask, deputies said.

“We’re probably not going to solve this one,” Volusia County Sheriff’s Sgt. Todd Smith said during a public meeting Thursday. “And DNA (identification) is not going to be an option.”

The 9 mm Glock was holstered and lying on top of a nightstand in the master bedroom when it was stolen, the homeowner told deputies. It was taken during an orgy, in which the theme was anonymous sex, according to a report.

Guests who were invited to the party near Saxon Boulevard were encouraged to “come and go as they pleased” throughout the weekend and were told to bring friends and acquaintances if they so desired, the report stated.

Additionally, guests were told to use fictitious names or no name at all, the homeowner told the Sheriff’s Office.

The orgy took place July 19-21 and deputies were contacted a few days later. On July 26, the detective assigned to the case called the homeowner for more information, but he seemed “apprehensive” about giving further details.

The homeowner eventually told the detective that 20 or so people were in his house that weekend and he guessed that he only knew five or six of them, the report stated.

The party was advertised on a social media site, deputies said.

All this needed to achieve peak Floriduh! Man is an alligator, a golf cart, and several kilos of cocaine!

Open thread!








I Have Many, Many Questions: Cosmetic Surgery Gone Awry Edition

I realize that mine was done as part of a religious ritual when I was 8 days old, but I would think that if you’re chatting with the nurses and technicians while getting botox and you notice that they’re not giving you any injections in your face, but they are manipulating other tender portions of your anatomy, you might ask what exactly is going on!!!

A pensioner circumcised by mistake after going to a hospital for a procedure involving botox has been handed £20,000 compensation by the NHS.

Terry Brazier was given the procedure after medics at Leicester Royal Infirmary mixed up his notes.

Mr Brazier claims he was so distracted chatting to nurses he didn’t realise he was getting a different procedure until it was too late.

Speaking to the Daily Star he said: “I went in the surgery for some Botox and they ended up circumcising me.

“They didn’t know what to say when they found out they’d done it, they said they can’t send me back to the ward and they needed to talk to me.

“The nurse was at the side of me and we were talking so I didn’t know what was going on.

“It was a real surprise.”

Andrew Furlong, Medical Director at University Hospitals of Leicester, said: “We remain deeply and genuinely sorry that this mistake occurred, and I would like to take this opportunity to once again apologise to Mr Brazier.

“We take events like this very seriously and carried out a thorough investigation at the time to ensure that we learnt from this incident and do all we can to avoid it happening again.

“Whilst money can never undo what happened, we hope this payment provides some compensation.”

“When they found out they’d done it?”

What is that even supposed to mean? He got circumcised because the medical professionals working on him were undertaking sleep surgery? Because they went on break for a cuppa and a mohel just happened to walk by, had his bris kit with him, and decided to undertake an unscheduled bris?

I guess this could have been much, much worse given the area they actually wound up operating on, but really?

Remember to mark your body parts pre-op or risk an unhappy ending!

Open thread!*

* This is, indeed, an open thread. However, we would like you to not attack each other over the correct or incorrect application of insults to politicians, reporters, and/or other commenters. Also, please no correcting the grammar, syntax, and/or spelling in this post or any of the comments. Complaining about the weather is also off limit. In fact, just to be safe, we’d like you to just talk about puppies and kittens. Thanks, the Management








Monday Morning Open Thread: Expect the Unexpected

Because it’s a holiday for most of us, here’s something genuinely nice and uplifting to start the day. From the Washington Post‘s book section, “He quit the NFL for a career in math”:

John Urschel has heard it a lot: “You’re that football player who’s really smart.” It’s an accurate description — Urschel, a former offensive lineman for the Baltimore Ravens, is a doctoral candidate in mathematics at MIT — but that description makes him wince.

Instead, he offers this: “I’m looking forward to being considered that mathematician who used play football.”

In July of 2017, Urschel retired from the NFL after three seasons. He hasn’t played football since. Not even a casual game in the park? Nope. “This isn’t something my friends and I do for fun,” he says.

Besides, Urschel has been busy with something else — his memoir, “Mind and Matter.” Written with his wife, journalist Louisa Thomas, the book chronicles his life in both sports and academics and explains how and why, in the end, he chose math over football. Yes, it had something to do with concussions, but that’s not all of it…

When asked what he likes to do for fun, his immediate answer is, “math!” He carries a notepad with him just in case he’s struck by an idea. He wanted his first book to be a pure math book, and at signings he’s been known to inscribe the memoir he ended up writing with “fun integrals” and “important constants” that he’s excited to explain to anyone who wants to geek out with him.

Urschel grew up in Buffalo. His parents, who separated when Urschel was 3, encouraged his two-track learning from an early age. His mother, a nurse-turned-lawyer, urged him to pursue his interests in math with games and puzzles, and later advanced course work. “If I am a true outlier,” he writes in his book, “it is because of her — an African-American single mother who loved math but was discouraged from it, who wanted me never to feel that any door was closed to me.” His father, a thoracic surgeon and former linebacker at the University of Alberta, pushed him academically, too. But he was also concerned about his son’s conditioning, and his time with young Urschel involved visits to the gym as well as to the library…








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