Lonesome, Ornery, and Mean

When I feed Steve, he eats on an elevated platform in the bathroom off the kitchen with the door closed, since if he does not, Thurston will come in, interrupt him, and eat his food. This morning, he started his shit at like 5:30 am, and I completely forgot about him so he was locked in the bathroom until about 11 am this morning. This is how I found him:

I’m down in Morgantown for the night since I have my ultrasound procedure tomorrow morning, and even though I could have it done closer to me, but I would rather do it in network blah blah blah this is not going to become a David Anderson post because I don’t know wtf I am talking about. At any rate, I am not allowed to eat, drink, or so much as chew gum before the procedure, so I decided to stay at Tammy and Brian’s so I don’t have to drive while miserable and uncaffeinated in the morning.

We’re making a bid dinner (chicken cutlets with a jaeger sauce, cauliflower and mushroom risotto, and while it doesn’t really go with it, I was craving it, so a heart of palm salad with avocado, feta, tomaotes, etc.

I hope we remember to take pictures this time.



Puppers Open Thread

I was just telling a friend this, and thought I would share with you all. I got new neighbors a couple months ago- she is a nurse and he is a cop, and they live across the street two doors down. Young- early 20’s, and seem to be very nice. I took them a lemon meringue pie I bought from the church women’s club semi-annual bake sale and chatted with them as they were moving in and met her mom, who was there helping, and they seem like good people. At any rate, they had one small barky dog in the same size range as my herd, but they recently got the most adorable Pyrenees puppy.

Every time I come home from somewhere and I see her out (I always drive in that direction around the block so that my car is parked on the right side of the road facing the correct way), I roll down my window and say hi and she gets all excited, and sits there and wait for me as I park my car and walk back down to love on her.

She is absolutely adorable and the softest, sweetest thing you have ever met. I wish I could adequately describe how delightful her fur is to touch. And she has this ginormous cold wet nose. She just *extreme Oprah voice* AMAZING.

I’m currently being weighed down by two dogs and a cat watching television:

Lily is to my side, and you can’t see her. I’m starting to lose feeling in my left foot, but every time I try to move slightly Steve digs in with his claws, so I am hoping when it dies and the foot needs to be amputated the surgeon will be understanding.



And a Very Merry Christmas to All of You

I had a really nice day today. Woke up and wrote hostile things on twitter for a while, then took a nap. Got up, showered, cleaned the kitchen and made some brownies with walnuts and extra chocolate chips and a batch of home made ice cream, and went over to Gerald’s for an early afternoon Christmas dinner. Came back, and Taylor came with me to watch the Steelers game (Gerald is a Browns fan and Taylor is a Steelers fan, so he usually comes here or to my parent’s house), and now we are watching Rogue One.

I ate too much ham at dinner and they made deviled eggs which are a real weakness for me so I had to nap during the Steelers game.

About a decade or so ago (who knows, time flies), a very nice woman named Anne from NYC started sending me handcrafted knitted catnip balls for Tunch. Tunch is long gone, but Steve is still around, and every Christmas his package arrives. So, here is my Christmas gift to you- Steve getting stoned to the bejeezus on catnip:

He’s such a good boy. I really love him. At any rate, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, or whatever.

BTW- I am in the market for a new Ottoman and chair for my living room. Any recommendations?



First Snow!

Been busy all day and just now getting around to checking the news and stuff. I see Moore still has not conceded, which does not surprise me at all.

Like fifteen minutes after that he went on and refused to concede, something something military ballots and jeebus.

At any rate, FIRST SNOW HERE!

Roads were really bad, even though it was such a small amount of snow. They were wet and everything froze before the little bit of snow came. The Honda is not as good in the snow as the Subaru, so I think I might actually put a good snow tire on them for three-four months and really adjust my driving so that I am avoiding driving in inclement weather as much as possible.



Here We Are Again

I see that everyone has covered everything I wanted to talk about again, but wow that NRA shit is EXPLOSIVE and EARLY in the campaign, showing there was collusion for damned near an entire year. At any rate, I have just been working and cooking and cleaning all day.

I found a chuck roast for about six bucks at the grocery, so I picked up a couple turnips and parsnips, threw in some carrots and onions and celery and some baby portabella mushrooms in my fridge that were going to go sketchy, and am making a pot roast that I can eat for a couple days. It’s just me, so I added some beef broth/tomato paste, along with some other seasonings, but I threw in some hot sauce and cognac just to see what happens.

Also picked up a cheap bag of potatoes so I peeled a few and am going to make garlic mashed to go with it. Going to boil them, then sightly roast them to dry them out, then add some roasted garlic, milk, salt, pepper, and butter and see what happens.

Also found an entire ten bag of gala apples that were going suspect for $1.99, so I made some applesauce for dessert. I’m tired of peeling. Again, since it is just me, I experimented a little bit and left some of the skins on, kept it slightly lumpy, and added a little 100& tart cranberry juice to give it a little color and kick.

Total meal cost is going to be about 18 bucks, and I figure I can get about 4 meals out of it, so that is not bad. It’s hard learning to cook for just yourself after years of feeding a few people whenever you cook. Plus, I’ve always been a cheap cook in the sense that I always buy bargains and buy in bulk, but I am really trying to learn how to live cheap because I honestly think we are going to have another great depression sooner rather than later.

Other than that, Lily sums up the activity level:

How about you all?



Another Antique Find!

I found an item I liked on cragislist that was super cheap and really close, but man was it an odyssey getting it even though it was only 40 minutes away. For starters, the address was XXXX Brush Run Road in Washington, PA, but I programmed XXX Brush Run Road in Avella into my Waze, so when I got to the house, in the middle of absolute nowhere and got out of my car, it looked like a flop house. This was on the door:

There was a dog barking, Bowie was cranking from the inside, and it looked like something out of a horror movie, but I knocked anyway, not knowing I was at the wrong address. I gave up after a minute, went back to my car, looked at Waze, and realized my error, and tried to program the new address into the phone.

No cell service. Rather than just backtracking and going home and saying to hell with it, I visualized where I was in conjunction to Washington, PA, and just drove my car in that direction figuring I would get cell service soon enough. It was ten miles, and to set the tone I was listening to Tom Waits because why the fuck not if you are going to die you are going to die.

Finally got Waze programmed, and got about 3 miles from my destination after a half hour of back roads, and was heading down a road called Potato Run Road, which had the most beautiful old barns and rundown brick farmhouse and… the bridge was out. Like completely out, big barricades, road closed, etc. Tried to reroute but all waze wanted me to do was keep trying to take different backroads that led me back to the bridge, so I just said to hell with it and took every side road I could leading in the right general direction. Another twenty minutes later, and I got my piece:

It’s really beautiful. I’m researching how to polish the marble, and man is it heavy. I bet it is at least 50 lbs. And the nice thing is is that it is not attached, so I can put it on the counter for making bread/pasta, whatever. It was only 60 bucks, too.

At any rate, got back on the road, and I was getting thirsty so I stopped at a little backwoods diner/deli, a little rundown place, but all I wanted was a drink, so I went in. There was no one there! I went into the kitchen and out back and downstairs into the basement to make sure an old timer who ran the place hadn’t fallen/been robbed/died, and it was just completely empty. In the cooler they had some frozen containers of stuffed pepper soup, but I didn’t have the right change, so I just wrote a note on a napkin- “no one was here- here’s two bucks for the coke I took.”

As I was walking out, the owner returned (he’d run down the holler to borrow some tools from his neighbor), and I told him I just left him a note and some money but I really wanted some stuffed pepper soup to take home, too, and he was super nice and gave me two containers for the price of one for being honest and having to wait. SCORE!

At any rate, Tammy and Brian and their two dogs left, and I had Carlo and Christion come over and pick up a boatload of leftovers because I am sick of everything, so the house feels super quiet and the fridge looks back to normal and I can actually find things in it now and don’t have to worry about stuff toppling out every time I open it. I feel like there is a sense of normalcy, but it is really quiet.

On the upside, I can not stress how nice it is to be walking around in boxer shorts, an old t-shirt, and slippers again. Think I am going to finish this series “Godless” on Netflix and maybe go to bed early. You?



And Everything Was Delicious

That’s only half the food- Tammy fell asleep before sending me the pictures (I took that one then realized my photography sucks so she should take them), so you are stuck with my shitty picture.

We had:

-turkey
-stuffing/dressing
-mashed potatoes
-sweet potatoes with bourbon and topped with pecans
-cranberry relish with orange
-brussel sprouts
-green bean casserole (the old school one with Campbell’s cream of mushroom and those crunchy onion things on top)
-sauerkraut
-applesauce
-lentil salad
-broccoli and cheese tort
-tomato and olive tort
-succotash
-creamed turnips and parsnips
-apple pie
-pumpkin pie
-banana bread
-amish bread

The last thing I don’t know what to call but I will go with “deconstructed cobbler.” I cut up a pineapple, a bunch of apples and pears, then make a sauce of butter, brown sugar, cinnamon, raisins, cranberries, and granola, and pour it all over and bake it. Then top it with fresh whipped cream.

Tammy and Brian slaved all day- she threw me out of the kitchen on several occasions, so even though I was technically the host, all I did was brine the turkey, peel potatoes and sweet potatoes and make the sweet potatoes, the sauerkraut, the green bean casserole, and the deconstructed cobber. Brian cooked the turkey and mashed potatoes, dad brought the two torts the succotash, the turnips and parsnips and amish and banana bread, and Tammy did her world class cauliflower gratin, the sprouts, the stuffing, a lentil salad and basically made everything happen in a timely and orderly fashion and made sure that everything was taken care of, which is really the hardest thing of all.

At any rate, it was nice for my mom and dad to not have to cook and clean (although dad cooked anyway and did the honors carving) and hosting my aunt and uncle, brother and one sister, and a bunch of other people. I hope you all had a good thanksgiving.

I’m just going to sit here with Lily and Steve until I nod off.