Spring Maintenance

Picked up a cushion for the wicker love seat, got four ferns for five bucks a piece on the bargain shelf at Lowes, planted some pansies. Tomorrow, edging the beds with sandstone rocks, and mulching.

I’m not even going to show you a picture of the backyard it’s such a god damned disaster, but we’re gonna get about 10 tons of dirt hauled to level it out.



We’re Having Some “Weather”

We had flash flood warnings all day, we just had a Lieutenant Dan style thunderstorm. Here’s the radar:

I took a video, but started the camera the wrong way, so 3/4 of the video is sideways, but it’s the sound and lightning that matter:

In the local parlance, that’s what is known as a gullywasher. More accurately, a “gullywersher.”

All pets are inside and accounted for.



Your All in One Domestic Open Thread

Spring is allegedly here, although we are still going to have some chilly weather in the next few weeks, but the daffodils are having none of it:

The tulips will be next. Last fall was my first bulb planting at the new house, and now that I have seen how it looks, I am going to triple my planting this fall.

Dean (the guy who did most of the work on the house) was in town this week, and we spent some time stabilizing the first floor. Remember, when I purchased the house, the idiots before me had cut a joist in the ceiling, which had put all the load bearing on the beams in the basement and created a five inch sag on the main floor, so we had to jack it all up and put 8×8’s in, etc. That, and the addition of the 3/4 inch interlocking hardwood floors firmed things up, but there was still some give. After a year and some of letting the house expand, contract, and settle, it was time to head back to the basement and make a few adjustments. We added some more supports and what now, and I can now report that even my fat ass can do jumping jacks in the living room and none of the china in the corner cupboard so much as jiggles.

The backyard is the next project- the raised bed gardens are going in (I salvaged two from the old house, and am putting in three new ones), and we are hauling all my soil and compost from the old place. Those will all go in the area of my yard that will get the most sun, while on the other half of the yard, where there is shade from pines and I put in the two apple and the chestnut tree, the butterfly and bee pollinator garden will be going in with a bird/butterfly pool. Tht’s also where the compost pile is (in the back corner). Last year I put in a dozen blueberry and blackberry bushes under the pines, so we’ll see if those produce anything. I’m going to throw some mushroom logs back there too and see what happens.

In June, we are cutting the deck in half because it’s too damned big, and I want to reposition where the stairs are and add some support beams as well as some 4×4’s so I have a place to tie off a large retractable tarp for some shade.

As far as actual plants, the babies are doing well:

I’ve got a new run of seedlings in, this time, mainly herbs, some late blooming tomatoes, and my cold weather run of broccoli and cauliflower. So that’s how things are going here.

Brian and Tammy are coming up tomorrow, and we are going to cook an Easter feast for my folks and some locals.

*** Update ***

OMG- I completely forgot the total overshare portion of this post. I bought a bidet attachment for my toilet and from Tushy and I am embarrassingly excited.



I’m Doing Quite Nicely Now

I have recovered from the trauma earlier today and am now relaxing in the basement at Brian and Tammy’s. I have my MRI tomorrow morning to find out just what the fuck is going on in my stomach/chest/they kind of run together.

At any rate, the dining in this hotel is top notch. We all enjoyed the chicken cutlets so much last week that we made a chicken parm, some spaghetti squash, and green beans. It was delicious:

Another fantastic aspect of this hotel experience is that you are given a complimentary dog or two to deal with our separation anxiety from not being with your own pets:

That’s Charlie and she is a very good girl, although she does like to stealth lick my glasses from time to time.



American Gothic Horror Story

Had a bunch of errands to run, some stuff to do in the yard, and some more calendars were returned because I fatfingered the addresses, so I got myself all slicked up and took my annual spring selfie:

That’s my great-great-grandmother’s mirror. And before you all give me a lot of shit about the overalls (Ann Burr hated them and quipped I was Angry Bob Vila), they are comfortable, they are never too tight, they are just the right temperature in the fall and spring with a t-shirt or long sleeve shirt, and with a pair of thermals they are perfect in even the coldest weather. Plus, they have lots of pockets for my phone, my wallet, my pocket knife, a pen, keys, and dog treats, and you can adjust them to fit depending on your current level of fat. They are also indestructible- you can get them filthy, throw them in the wash, hjang em up to dry, and you’d never notice you were covered head to toe in dirt.

They are also the perfect camouflage for my area of the universe. I could commit a murder in broad daylight, and the witness descriptions would be “a fat white guy in overalls” and the cops would just give up because that’s basically the state of West Virginia. All that, and I have been reliably informed that they serve as remarkably effective birth control, so I got that going for me as well.

Speaking of Black Panther, I bought the soundtrack and have been basically listening to it nonstop and it is awesome. Kendrick Lamar is a god damned national treasure. I bet I listen to Good Kid or Section 80 each twice a week while driving. Not as much a fan of to Pimp a Butterfly, and DAMN! is still growing on me, but I love the new Black Panther soundtrack.



Lonesome, Ornery, and Mean

When I feed Steve, he eats on an elevated platform in the bathroom off the kitchen with the door closed, since if he does not, Thurston will come in, interrupt him, and eat his food. This morning, he started his shit at like 5:30 am, and I completely forgot about him so he was locked in the bathroom until about 11 am this morning. This is how I found him:

I’m down in Morgantown for the night since I have my ultrasound procedure tomorrow morning, and even though I could have it done closer to me, but I would rather do it in network blah blah blah this is not going to become a David Anderson post because I don’t know wtf I am talking about. At any rate, I am not allowed to eat, drink, or so much as chew gum before the procedure, so I decided to stay at Tammy and Brian’s so I don’t have to drive while miserable and uncaffeinated in the morning.

We’re making a bid dinner (chicken cutlets with a jaeger sauce, cauliflower and mushroom risotto, and while it doesn’t really go with it, I was craving it, so a heart of palm salad with avocado, feta, tomaotes, etc.

I hope we remember to take pictures this time.



Puppers Open Thread

I was just telling a friend this, and thought I would share with you all. I got new neighbors a couple months ago- she is a nurse and he is a cop, and they live across the street two doors down. Young- early 20’s, and seem to be very nice. I took them a lemon meringue pie I bought from the church women’s club semi-annual bake sale and chatted with them as they were moving in and met her mom, who was there helping, and they seem like good people. At any rate, they had one small barky dog in the same size range as my herd, but they recently got the most adorable Pyrenees puppy.

Every time I come home from somewhere and I see her out (I always drive in that direction around the block so that my car is parked on the right side of the road facing the correct way), I roll down my window and say hi and she gets all excited, and sits there and wait for me as I park my car and walk back down to love on her.

She is absolutely adorable and the softest, sweetest thing you have ever met. I wish I could adequately describe how delightful her fur is to touch. And she has this ginormous cold wet nose. She just *extreme Oprah voice* AMAZING.

I’m currently being weighed down by two dogs and a cat watching television:

Lily is to my side, and you can’t see her. I’m starting to lose feeling in my left foot, but every time I try to move slightly Steve digs in with his claws, so I am hoping when it dies and the foot needs to be amputated the surgeon will be understanding.