Don’t you wanna go (1999)?

The other day I was listening to a political show on the radio, and a guy called into say that, although he was “Cruz guy”, he believed that Trump could beat Hillary because of Hillary’s sordid past, as detailed in a book by Roger Stone.

That’s when it hit me: if Trump is the nominee, it will be five months of Vince Foster, the Mena drug operation, the Clinton body count, and so on.   I hope the Hillary campaign wishes a motherfucker would, but they’d best be prepared for a media that says “some say the Clinton personally murdered upwards of 50 people, some say they do not, the truth lies in the middle.”

As crazy as the last eight years of anti-Obama have been, I don’t think it quite touches the insanity of the anti-Clinton stuff in the mid-to -late ’90s, at least within mainstream political discourse.  The Republicans never even got around to impeaching Obama the way I thought they would.

 

It’s all coming back if Trump is the nominee, and maybe to a certain extent regardless of who the GOP nominee is.

 



Open Thread: Feel the Burn, Trump

Okay, Tim F. beat me to the topic, but Tammy Duckworth’s diss was too good not to front-page.

Also entertaining: #justlikemilitary service, the hashtag collaboration. “I am, at this very moment, watching Robert Redford raise the flag in The Castle. Also did a Men’s Health workout…”



Thursday Evening Open Thread: Suuuuure He Will…

…. Because a guy who’s proudly, publicly, walked away from four business bankruptcies and three marriages is gonna take Reince Preibus’s piece of paper so very seriously.

Give me a million dollars, in cash, right now, and I will sign a pledge to lose fifty pounds before the 2016 election. Hell, I’ll do it for half that — as long as the only penalty for failure is “Multiple pundits will make frowny faces on the teevee when I fail to honor the agreement. Also, a sternly-worded letter has been released.”
***********
Apart from taking delight at the fervor with which the Republican Party drives to enclown itself, what’s on the agenda for the evening?



Post-Racial America Update

And speaking of President Obama’s trip to Oklahoma this week:

Supporters of the Confederate flag rallied Wednesday in Oklahoma as President Barack Obama arrived in the state for a series of events, including the first ever visit to a federal prison by a sitting President.

About 10 people waving Confederate battle flags were among the crowd that gathered Wednesday night outside the Oklahoma City hotel where Obama was expected to stay, according to a White House pool report. One person waved an American flag and another held up a pro-Obama sign, the report noted.

Protesters also gathered earlier in the day near Durant, Oklahoma before Obama arrived at a local high school to deliver remarks on a program expanding high-speed Internet access,according to local TV station KFOR.

“We’re not gonna stand down from our heritage. You know, this flag’s not racist. And I know a lot of people think it is, but it’s really not,” one protester who said he drove up from Texas, Trey Johnson, told the news station. “It’s just a southern thing, that’s it.”

So yeah, waving Confederate flags at a black president in 2015, that happened.

I’m constantly amazed at just how much of a better man Barack Obama is than I am, because I would have had these assholes rounded up in a fenced-in George W. Bush Free Speech Zone(tm) about 3 miles away faster than you could have said “Boomer Sooner”.



Motherfucker this ain’ t back in the day

Teh crazy surrounding Obama is just as crazy as teh crazy surrounding Clinton was. But BirthCertificateGate and BenghaziGate and BoGate aren’t legitimate problems for Obama the way the various ClintonGates were. And I don’t just mean the ones involving extramarital affairs. The Clinton memo on the ol’ freakshow conveyor belt:

The communication stream worked as follows, according to the memo:

First, a well-funded right-wing think tank would underwrite conservative newsletters and newspapers such as The American Spectator or the Western Journalism Center. Next, the stories would be “reprinted on the internet” where they “bounced all over the world.” The stories would then reach the right-of-center mainstream media, including The New York Post, The Wall Street Journal and The Washington Times, through one of two ways: either directly from the internet or via a “blow-back strategy” through the British tabloids, which would publish the story and thus give American right-of-center media reason to publish as well.

Finally, Congress would pick up the story line and say it should be investigated, which would give the story the legitimacy it needed to be covered by the remainder of the American mainstream press.

This is funny now:

But back in the day, William Safire might have had several columns on the topic.

Now, with this kind of crazy, I wish a motherfucker would.



Instant Karma with a Side of Awesome Sauce

Asshole driver gets what’s coming to him (skip to 1:00 for the short version):

I love the laughter at the end. The woman who posted the video, “Florida Driver,” claims she couldn’t move over to let Truck Nutz pass because of vehicles in the right lane, and that toward the end, she was close to where she would make a left turn.

Maybe she shouldn’t have been shooting vid while driving. And she definitely should have flipped the phone over because vertical videos are the devil’s handmaidens.

But how lovely to see a shithead get his comeuppance when attempting to execute a petulant road-rage maneuver. Sometimes when you wish a motherfucker would, a motherfucker does.



And you decked some fucking blackshirt

As you may know, I’m a big fan of Cedric the Entertainer’s epic “I Wish A Motherfucker Would” routine. For the uninitiated, the idea is that when some people are late for a show, they hope that no one sit has already taken their seats, whereas when others are late for a show, they wish a motherfucker would take their seats so that they can kick the motherfucker out of the seats. In Cedric’s telling, the hopers are white people and the wishers are black. But as anyone who’s spent much time in the northeast can tell you, that’s completely wrong, for no one could possibly wish a motherfucker would more than my mom’s Irish-Catholic family wishes a motherfucker would. It is unusual for me to spend more than ten minutes with my mom’s brother without hearing him tell a story a with this basic outline: (1) a person slights him in some way, (2) he pulls some kind of rank on the person, and (3) the person is forced to apologize and give him a free drink or better table or hotel room upgrade.

That’s why to me, “No Irish Need Apply” is the ultimate Irish-American song. The plot: (1) Irish man sees job listing with the note “No Irish Need Apply”, (2) Irish man visits the employer and is told he can’t have the job because he’s Irish, and (3) see the lyrics below:

I couldn’t stand it longer
So a hold of him I took
And gave him such a welting
As he’d get at Donnybrook
He hollered, “Milia murther”
And to get away did try
And swore he’d never write again
“No Irish Need Apply”

Well he made a big apology
I told him then goodbye
Saying, “When next you want a beating
Write ‘No Irish Need Apply’ ”

I suppose that that’s why I can never be an NPR liberal. I’d rather pummel my adversaries into submission — figuratively or literally — than politely agree to disagree.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!