Friday Night Open Thread

And the Doughy Pantload comes through with the most awesomest spin of the campaign so far. I will paraphrase:

“John McCain does not use a computer because he was a POW.”

Right now you probably think I am kidding. Take it away, Jonah:

Does anyone know why McCain doesn’t use a computer or email? As a couple readers suggested to me, it might be because his injuries prevent it. I mean he can’t lift his arms much higher than his chest and it looks like he has all sorts of other mobility problems with them. Maybe he can’t type or use something like a blackberry. I don’t know. But I hope the Obama campaign found out before they played the granpa Simpson card on McCain. I’d hate for Obama to be mocking a veteran’s disability to score cheap points.

Umm, Jonah?

John McCain, using his blackberry.

This is officially the stupidest fucking election ever.

*** Update ***

Jonah is deadly serious in peddling this piffle:

The reason he doesn’t send email is that he can’t use a keyboard because of the relentless beatings he received from the Viet Cong in service to our country. From the Boston Globe (March 4, 2000):

McCain gets emotional at the mention of military families needing food stamps or veterans lacking health care. The outrage comes from inside: McCain’s severe war injuries prevent him from combing his hair, typing on a keyboard, or tying his shoes. Friends marvel at McCain’s encyclopedic knowledge of sports. He’s an avid fan – Ted Williams is his hero – but he can’t raise his arm above his shoulder to throw a baseball.

Behold the next wingnut fauxtrage. Kinda cool watching these morons work in real time.

Someone tell the morons to read this story:

There’s no telling if he’s going to buy a tape from the Video Professor, or just have his son-in-law sit down with him for a few days, but John McCain has decided to learn how to use the internet.

“I am learning to get online myself, and I will have that down fairly soon, getting on myself,” McCain told the New York Times in an interview that appeared Sunday. “I don’t expect to be a great communicator, I don’t expect to set up my own blog, but I am becoming computer literate to the point where I can get the information that I need.”

Even so, McCain bluntly admits, “I don’t e-mail. I’ve never felt the particular need to e-mail.”

Or this one:

Q: What websites if any do you look at regularly?

Mr. McCain: Brooke and Mark show me Drudge, obviously, everybody watches, for better or for worse, Drudge. Sometimes I look at Politico. Sometimes RealPolitics, sometimes.

(Mrs. McCain and Ms. Buchanan both interject: “Meagan’s blog!”)

Mr. McCain: Excuse me, Meagan’s blog. And we also look at the blogs from Michael and from you that may not be in the newspaper, that are just part of your blog.

Q: But do you go on line for yourself?

Mr. McCain: They go on for me. I am learning to get online myself, and I will have that down fairly soon, getting on myself. I don’t expect to be a great communicator, I don’t expect to set up my own blog, but I am becoming computer literate to the point where I can get the information that I need – including going to my daughter’s blog first, before anything else.

Q: Do you use a blackberry or email?

Mr. McCain: No

Mark Salter: He uses a BlackBerry, just ours.

It should come as no great surprise that these are the same folks who think Sarah Palin has foreign policy experience because Alaska is close to Russia. Clown shoes, I tell you. Clown shoes.

*** Update #2 ***

Game, set, match:

It then shows a picture of McCain and George Bush and says, “After one president who was out of touch, we just can’t afford more of the same.”

Hitting an opponent on economic issues is standard political strategy. But going after a candidate for his skill with computers and e-mail …

…is a new, 21st century line of attack.

The McCain campaign charged that it’s untrue.

“John McCain travels with a laptop,” said McCain campaign spokesman Tucker Bounds. “This is a senseless tactic from Obama’s campaign because they’re struggling with the realization that the American people understand he is not equipped to deliver change because his record has no bipartisanship or significant legislative accomplishment in it.”

That was the McCain campaign, today. Is there anyone dumber than right wing bloggers?

BTW- These loons are desperately hoping they can push this meme into the MSM, but are forgetting one thing. While they are blogging from where ever their fact-free zone is, high on cheeto dust, actual reporters have spent the last 20 years covering McCain, riding on the Straight Talk Express, riding on his campaign plane, watching him, and have seen him repeatedly use a blackberry and a phone and a computer and drive his car and god knows what else (including fly a plane AFTER returning from Viet Nam and throw out the first pitch in Game 7 of the 2001 World Series).

The morons pushing this nonsense really are in a fantasy land of their own creation.

You Can’t Make This Shit Up

Barack Obama:

Obama poked fun of McCain and Palin’s new “change” mantra.

“You can put lipstick on a pig,” he said as the crowd cheered. “It’s still a pig.”

“You can wrap an old fish in a piece of paper called change. It’s still gonna stink.”

“We’ve had enough of the same old thing.”

McCain campaign and wingnuts everywhere: OMG HE CALLED SARAH PALIN A PIG!

The fact that this was spearheaded by the McCain campaign and quickly became a meme in the right-wing wankosphere merely reinforces my firm belief that the McCain campaign is being run by wingnut bloggers.

On the upside of all this, the media is not swallowing this nonsense, and is in fact mocking the McCain campaign:

And yet, the inaugural conference call of what the McCain-Palin campaign is calling the “Palin Truth Squad” addressed Obama’s remark.

And interestingly, the Truth Squad call was full of half-truths and statements that weren’t true at all.

Speaking on behalf of the McCain campaign, former Massachusetts Gov. Jane Swift tonight flatly stated that Obama had called Palin a pig.

“[T]he formation of the Palin Truth Squad couldn’t have happened too soon, as we saw when Sen. Obama in Lebanon, Va., this evening uttered what I can only deem to be disgraceful comments comparing our vice presidential nominee Gov. Palin to a pig,” Swift said.

“Sen. Obama owes Gov. Palin an apology,” she said.

Asked why she was so confident Obama was “comparing” Palin to a pig, she said Palin was the only one of the four candidates on both parties’ tickets who wears lipstick.

“She is the only one of the four candidates for president, or the only vice presidential candidate who wears lipstick,” Swift said. “I mean, it seemed to me a very gendered comment.”

But, Swift added, if “as part of his apology Sen. Obama wants to say, no, he was calling Sen. McCain — who is a true hero in our country — a pig, then I suppose we could wait en masse for an apology to that, as well.”

It was pointed out to Swift that, after the line about the pig, Obama had said, “You can wrap an old fish in a piece of paper called ‘change,’ it’s still gonna stink after eight years.”

Swift then suggested that Obama was calling McCain a fish.

They are losing the press with their antics. Bonus buffoonery from Hugh Hewitt:

Either Obama’s dim as can be, or he is angry at having been thrown backwards week after week. When Obama denies having targeted Palin, keep in mind that everyone instantly made the connection. Is Obama really that clueless? An angry outburst does less damage than his pleading he didn’t mean it that way. Remember the raised finger?

Hugh’s link, in case you were interested, is to the video the Hillary dead-enders and PUMA’s watched 1000 times to convince themselves that Obama gave Hillary the finger. This video:

Obama gave Hillary the finger! Five of them, in fact!

I wish I was making this shit up. It isn’t just that this is so absurd, it is that these wankers really have a shot of running the country for four more years.

*** Update ***

More here, including video of McCain using the same phrase.

*** Update #2 ***

Remember when Captain Ed was just mildly crazy, but had a shred of integrity, and was still worth reading? Well, those days are long gone, and now he is worse than Hugh Hewitt.

Off Limits Means Off Limits

I completely agree with Obama that families should be off limits, and I have been more than a little dismayed by what I called the panty sniffing that occurred over the week-end. I see no difference between what happened this week-end with Palin, culminating with the news of her daughter, and the Obama birth certificate crap or the Edwards affair crusade spear-headed by alleged goat lover Mickey Kaus. I am glad Obama has said no to this crap, and I really hope people listen.

Having said that, I am not going to sit by and let jackasses like Hugh Hewitt and company sit around and publish their deep thoughts and reader emails asserting the moral superiority of… out of wedlock teen pregnancies. Not only is it an absurd position (pregnant daughters as the new family value is a touch rich, guys), but off limits is off limits, you partisan hacks.

The Online Right as Bad Performance Art, Only With Extra Suck

Red State brings the funny:

Remember the mystery of the missing flags?


Now granted, their candidate is internet challenged, but surely our correspondents from Red State, the premier online site for conservative activism, can not be internet challenged as well. Because perusing the mystical intertrons that elude McCain so easily, I found lots of flags. From Atrios:

You don’t have to look too closely to see what can be described as a SHIT TON of flags on display during Bill Clinton’s speech last night

From the Denver Post:

Hrmm. Flags are indeed elusive at the DNC.

I could go on and on, but you get the point, and unlike John McCain and Red State, you understand the internet. Go have fun and find your own flags. It isn’t hard.

On the other hand, this may explain why the Bush administration never found any WMD in Iraq.

Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don’t Jonah Goldberg Is A Blithering Idiot

This is kind of awesome. Jonah Goldberg, 12:15 PM:

All I have to say is that if it was deliberate — and I really, really doubt it was — then that is the most substantive proof so far that Obama’s youthful arrogance is getting the better of him. The text message ploy on its own was kind of dumb. But if it was a way to tweak Clinton, it was beyond self-indulgent. And the fact that the message went out at 3:00 AM at all is a sign the whole thing was too clever by half.

Jonah Goldberg, 1:29 PM:

You know what? Even if it was a mistake, some grownup over there should have said “3:00 AM? You know what they’ll say, right? Don’t do it at 3:00 AM, it’ll seem like a juvenile jab at Hillary.” Instead, it seems that it didn’t occur to anyone or someone said, “3:00 AM, hah! Take that Hillary!”

So let’s recap. If the text was deliberately sent at 3:00 AM, Obama sucks. If it wasn’t deliberately sent at 3:00 AM, Obama sucks.

It is almost like there is nothing Obama can do to make Jonah happy!