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Not Safe For Work Delivery: Floriduh! Man Edition

by 9:27 pm. It has 85 Comments.

What did BettyC know and when did she know it?

The Pensacola News Journal has all the details:

Escambia County Commissioner Doug Underhill is fuming after a box labeled “industrial strength dildos” arrived in the mail at his county office Thursday.

Underhill showed the box to reporters following the County Commission meeting on Thursday, saying it demonstrated how far the level of civility has fallen in Escambia County.

“There’s no way this is even remotely appropriate in the way that we conduct business here in Escambia County,” Underhill said while pointing to the box. “We have staff members, young people, who have to handle the mail here. I’m a sailor, you’re not going to offend me with anything, but this kind of garbage, and this is the kind of garbage put out by the same kinds of people, the same lies, the same hate, the same anger that they bring to every single issue.”

The box itself appeared to be a practical joke box and was only filled with paper and a packing slip billing for the package that included the email address of the sender.

The email address belongs to a Perdido Key resident named Scott Anderson, who told the News Journal he had no idea about the box being sent to Underhill or how his email address ended up on the packing slip.

“I’m totally stunned by all of this,” Anderson said.

Anderson said he’s only interacted with Underhill a few times on the Nextdoor website over what he said was a lack of maintenance at the Perdido Key Dog Park.

“I suppose I could’ve irritated maybe an Underhill supporter,” Anderson said. “That’s the only thing I can think of.”

Despite the box appearing to be a joke, it was no laughing matter for Underhill.

Underhill regularly comments in local Facebook groups and often takes a combative tone with people with whom he disagrees.

Underhill said laughing at the antics of his dedicated critics only makes it worse because the time and energy spent on dealing with his critics is time not spent tackling issues that matter such as funding for public safety.

Underhill pointed to the meeting on Thursday as an example. On Thursday, members of Save Pensacola Beach protesting the county’s move to remove language approved by voters last year in a non-binding referendum.

During the discussion, Underhill said he compared the group and its founder Dianne Krummel to antifa, short for anti-facists, the name given to far-left protestors who often wear masks and engage in violent attacks during protest.

“Dianne, at some point you’re going to have to trade in that yellow shirt for a black mask if you keep this up,” Underhill said.

While speaking to reporters, Underhill blamed the press for feeding what he said was “radical activism” of the group and argued that the County Commission chambers should be a place of civil discussion.

When asked if his own speech, especially online, was uncivil, Underhill rejected the idea.

“I don’t think I’m uncivil online at all,” Underhill said. “I engage the adversary. The adversary is the lies, the untruths. The reality is if we as your — especially as conservative elected officials — do not push back against the spending, if we don’t push back against the corruption, if we don’t push back against the lies that are said here, then who will?”

He seems nice.

No word on when the lube is scheduled to be delivered.

Also, The Industrial Strength Dildos are my New Wave Fem Punk cover band.

Open thread!

 





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I Have Many, Many Questions: Cosmetic Surgery Gone Awry Edition

by 10:54 pm. It has 121 Comments.

I realize that mine was done as part of a religious ritual when I was 8 days old, but I would think that if you’re chatting with the nurses and technicians while getting botox and you notice that they’re not giving you any injections in your face, but they are manipulating other tender portions of your anatomy, you might ask what exactly is going on!!!

A pensioner circumcised by mistake after going to a hospital for a procedure involving botox has been handed £20,000 compensation by the NHS.

Terry Brazier was given the procedure after medics at Leicester Royal Infirmary mixed up his notes.

Mr Brazier claims he was so distracted chatting to nurses he didn’t realise he was getting a different procedure until it was too late.

Speaking to the Daily Star he said: “I went in the surgery for some Botox and they ended up circumcising me.

“They didn’t know what to say when they found out they’d done it, they said they can’t send me back to the ward and they needed to talk to me.

“The nurse was at the side of me and we were talking so I didn’t know what was going on.

“It was a real surprise.”

Andrew Furlong, Medical Director at University Hospitals of Leicester, said: “We remain deeply and genuinely sorry that this mistake occurred, and I would like to take this opportunity to once again apologise to Mr Brazier.

“We take events like this very seriously and carried out a thorough investigation at the time to ensure that we learnt from this incident and do all we can to avoid it happening again.

“Whilst money can never undo what happened, we hope this payment provides some compensation.”

“When they found out they’d done it?”

What is that even supposed to mean? He got circumcised because the medical professionals working on him were undertaking sleep surgery? Because they went on break for a cuppa and a mohel just happened to walk by, had his bris kit with him, and decided to undertake an unscheduled bris?

I guess this could have been much, much worse given the area they actually wound up operating on, but really?

Remember to mark your body parts pre-op or risk an unhappy ending!

Open thread!*

* This is, indeed, an open thread. However, we would like you to not attack each other over the correct or incorrect application of insults to politicians, reporters, and/or other commenters. Also, please no correcting the grammar, syntax, and/or spelling in this post or any of the comments. Complaining about the weather is also off limit. In fact, just to be safe, we’d like you to just talk about puppies and kittens. Thanks, the Management





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Dildos for Ireland Or the Ivory Phallus of Trallee: Operation Ireland’s Dildo Is a Go!

by 10:19 pm. It has 72 Comments.

Welcome to Balloon Juice After Dark!

You don’t see this every day! (h/t: Charles Pierce, who should definitely be hired to moderate a one of the Democratic primary debates!)

Read more





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ICWUDT Boing Boing Headline Writers

by 11:06 am. It has 84 Comments.

And I approve:

*golf clap emoji*





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At Last, An Explanation For The Death Of Reason In The Republican Party

by 3:02 pm. It has 188 Comments.

This news out of Hawaii explains so much!

Hawaii’s health department has released fresh warnings about a parasitic worm that can infest human brains after officials confirmed that three more visitors to the state picked up the infection.

Not just any worm, either, but one perfectly named in the context of Republican political gamesmanship:

The parasitic worm in these cases is the rat lungworm, aka Angiostrongylus cantonensis. As its common name suggests, the wandering worm primarily takes up residence in rats’ lungs, where female worms lay their eggs. Young worms leave the nest early to find their own windy homes, though. Larvae get coughed up into rats’ throats then swallowed. The hosting rat eventually poops out the young parasites, which then get gobbled up by feces-feasting snails and slugs (intermediate hosts). When other rodents come along and eat those infected mollusks, the prepubescent parasites migrate to the rats’ brains to mature before settling into the lungs and reproducing. The cycle then starts again.

Except, when intercepted by an allegedly wise primate, the journey shifts:

Humans are an accidental host, typically infected when they inadvertently eat an infected slug or snail that has slid into their salad fixings or other produce…

In humans, young worms make their way to the brain as they would in a rat. But the rambling invaders rarely survive long enough to make it to their final destination in the lungs. Instead, they usually die somewhere in the central nervous system. In some cases, the infection is symptomless and resolves on its own. In others, the worm meanders around the brain, and its presence, movement, and death in the central nervous system all contribute to symptoms.

I wish I could here paint a precise picture of the symptoms afflicting, say, Nazi-sympathizing Fox News hosts, but I’m guessing the actual sequence would be enough to irritate many into similarly bad behavior:

Those can vary wildly but sometimes include headaches, neck stiffness, tingling or pain, low-grade fever, nausea, and vomiting. In severe cases, the infection can lead to nerve damage, paralysis, coma, and even death.

All apparatchik-rat lungworm jokes aside, this sounds truly nasty; something to avoid; and the latest reason to distrust a salad-based lifestyle.

This thread! It is open!

Image: Luther before the Diet of Worms, 1877





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