Too Late Now Open Thread: GOP Attempts to Flee Its Hand-Built Monster’s Embrace

You just keep telling yourself that, Sen. Cassidy — it’s not the message, it’s the messenger! If only Deadbeat Donald could be a little more… restrained about your party’s appeal to all the worst elements of racism, xenophobia, and misogyny in American politics…

But Cassidy’s from Louisiana, he needs emergency reconstruction funds for his state right now, not when Mitch McConnell gets tired of stonewalling in hopes that Hillary (or better yet, Donald) will be struck by lightning before November. “Principles” are all very well when your gang of Freedom Caucus Liberty Patriots are riding high, but when the guy at the top of the ticket looks to be bent on self-immolation…

For the special delectation of Balloon Juice readers: The NYTimes reports that “Tensions Deepen Between Donald Trump and R.N.C.”:

The Republican National Committee had high hopes that Donald J. Trump would deliver a compassionate and measured speech about immigration on Wednesday, and prepared to lavish praise on the candidate on the party’s Twitter account.

So when Mr. Trump instead offered a fiery denunciation of migrant criminals and suggested deporting Hillary Clinton, Reince Priebus, the party chairman, signaled that aides should scrap the plan, and the committee made no statement at all.

The evening tore a painful new wound in Mr. Trump’s relationship with the Republican National Committee, imperiling his most important remaining political alliance.

Mr. Priebus and his organization have been steadfastly supportive of Mr. Trump, defending him in public and spending millions of dollars to aid him. But the collaboration between Mr. Trump’s campaign and Mr. Priebus’s committee has grown strained over the last month, according to six senior Republicans with detailed knowledge of both groups, some of whom asked to speak anonymously for fear of exacerbating tensions….

Ya think? [surreptitious sounds of blame being shifted; reporters pretend not to recognize figures behind the curtain]

There is no prospect of a full public breach between the Trump campaign and the R.N.C. because both sides rely on a joint fund-raising arrangement crucial to their election efforts.

But tensions have grown to such a point that they threaten to diminish the party’s ability to work smoothly with Mr. Trump during the most critical post-Labor Day phase of the race, when the committee traditionally helps supervise an extensive voter turnout effort.

Mr. Trump, who has struggled to raise money, is dependent on his party’s national committee to perform many of the basic functions of a presidential campaign. Should the partnership continue to deteriorate, it could hinder Mr. Trump’s bid for a late comeback in the race…

Read more

Standing Up By Sitting Down To Eat: Salsa Justice Warriors Unite!

In response to Marco Gutierrez’s remarks expressing concerns about an invasion of Taco Trucks I decided to strike a blow for Salsa (Verde, also Roja and Crema and guacamole) Justice and went for Mexican food tonight. Never has standing in solidarity, by sitting and eating, tasted so good. Also, the corners of my neighborhood are still clear of taco trucks, so I’m going to keep Balloon Juice set at TacoCon 5 for the time being. So grab your forks my Salsa Justice Warriors and head for the comments – open thread!


(Guacamole Mexicano)


(Beef Tacos)


(El Paso Burrito with Salsa Roja, Crema, and Verde)

Late Evening Open Thread: Duct Tape Roll Cage Testing Kangaroos!

Remember to wear your seat belts!

I didn’t realize the previously posted video was an advertisement (hadn’t watched it all the way through). Mea Culpa! Mea Culpa! So instead, here’s some kangaroos!!!!



When Trump Was a Lad


Commenter SiubhanDuinne shares this with us:

Most of you know I love Gilbert & Sullivan.

Most of you know I do NOT love Donald Trump.

Most of you know I enjoy writing doggerel parodies.

So here you go.


When I was a lad I got the key
To my father’s real estate company
I knocked on doors and collected rent
And now I am the nominee for president!
(And now he is the nominee for president!)
I hassled tenants fearlessly,
And now I am the darling of the G.O.P.
(He hassled tenants fearlessly,
And now he is the darling of the G.O.P.)

I said, “I’ll strike out on my own
If my daddy will give me a tiny loan.”
A million here, a million there,
Before you know it, I’m a billionaire!
(Before you know it, he’s a billionaire!)
I took that money my daddy lent,
And now I am the nominee for president!
(He took that money his daddy lent
And now he is the nominee for president!)

I wed three gorgeous foreign chicks —
(Well, Marla came from the Georgia sticks) —
“Will you marry me?” They all said “Yup,”
So I made ’em sign an airtight ironclad pre-nup
(They had to sign an airtight ironclad pre-nup.)
They signed so fast it was evident
That one day soon I’d run for U.S. president!
(They signed so fast it was evident
That one day soon he’d run for U.S. president!)

I am the very best, you know,
At managing a business like a casino,
This next part might just make you sob,
But I had a little run-in with the Jersey Mob
(He had a little run-in with the Jersey Mob).
I lost my casino in bankruptcy,
And now I am a presidential nominee!
(He lost it all in bankruptcy,
And now he is a presidential nominee!)

Casinos, towers, Miss Universe,
T.V. and golf, it could’ve been much worse.
“TRUMP” blazoned everywhere in shining gilt,
I’m classier than any puny Vanderbilt
(He’s classier than any puny Vanderbilt).
Forbes, Vanderbilt, or Carnegie,
And now I am a presidential nominee!
(Forbes, Vanderbilt, or Carnegie,
And now he is a presidential nominee!)

Trump Steaks and Wine, they’re here for you,
Trump Magazine, and oh, Trump Water too,
Ask anyone in my family,
And don’t forget about Trump University
(And don’t forget about Trump University).
That wetback judge has so much gall,
He’s prejudiced because I’m going to build a wall
(That Mexican judge has so much gall,
He hates that Trump has said he’s going to build a wall!)

The media love my every move
And I don’t have a goddam thing to prove.
A documentary by Ken Burns,
But I hope he doesn’t ask about my tax returns
(No, we hope he doesn’t ask about the tax returns!)
The rest of my life’s an open book,
And, like Nixon, I will tell you, “I am not a crook.”
(His life is like an open book,
And he swears that, just like Nixon, he is not a crook!)

You surely know how much I’m worth
And I wish you’d look at President Obama’s birth.
I searched for the long-form document,
And now I am a candidate for President!
(And now he is a candidate for president!)
My hands are huge, my fingers long,
And I hope you will appreciate this humble song
(His hands are huge, his fingers long,
And we hope you are delighting in this humble song.)

So all you folks — you straight white men —
Let’s make America great again!
When women really knew their place,
And Jim Crow was the answer to the Negro race
(Yes, Jim Crow was the answer to the Negro race).
When “cheerfulness” is what “gay” meant,
That’s where I’ll take you when I am your president!
(When “cheerfulness” is what “gay” meant,
That is where he’ll take us when he is our president!)

This made my day.

(Trumpbaby image shamelessly stolen from our favorite Wonkanatrix.)

Even Snarling Jackals Need A Giggle

I’ve been enjoying the turn the campaign has taken over the last few days as much as the next heartless Democrat. (Will no one think of the Green Room GOP?)  And I’m getting nervous:  this is August, and until Labor Day comes and goes with Trump still tossing molotovs down the outhouse hole that is his campaign, I’m not going to relax.

But still, one cannot live on outrage and schadenfreude alone.  So here’s a little bit of wonderful comedy in glorious black and white.  I was reminded of it at the gym when my guy told me to “engage the ropes.”  See 2:15 or so to about 2:50 for the resonance.

Anyway: never say I don’t love y’all:


Let this be a recombinant-hair-piece-free open thread.

Overnight Open Thread: Ripped from the Headlines… True Crimes Edition

You cannot make this stuff up. A guy named Schmuck attempted to teach an impromptu firearms safety course while drunk in front of the Quick Stop Deli on West Louther Street in Carlisle, PA (former home of me – Carlisle, PA, not a convenience store and deli on West Louther Street).

Christopher R. Schmuck, 39, was charged by the Carlisle Police Department on Friday after officers say they were called to the Quick Stop Deli on the 600 block of West Louther Street for a report of a man with a gun.

When police arrived, they found Schmuck at the front of the store, and they say he had a .45-caliber glock handgun tucked into his waistband.

Police say Schmuck, who was intoxicated, was giving a gun-safety lesson to two teenagers, and at one point, there was a live round in the chamber.

He did not have a license to carry the gun, police say.

Schmuck was charged with a weapons violation, reckless endangerment, public drunkenness and disorderly conduct, and is set for a preliminary hearing on Wednesday.

Needless to say: what a schmuck!

Ceci Ne Sont Pas Des Lunettes*

Calling all Sokals!

I know this is a case of chasing easy marks, but still, I laughed.

Two teenagers visited the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art and they came away…underwhelmed:

The teenagers, Kevin Nguyen, 16, and TJ Khayatan, 17, both of San Jose, had been left scratching their heads at the simplicity of some of the museum’s exhibits, including two stuffed animals on a blanket.

“Is this really what you call art?” Kevin said in an interview over the weekend.

TJ added, “We looked at it and we were like, ‘This is pretty easy. We could make this ourselves.’ ”


Cue the long-standing first reaction to a Pollack:  “My five year old could do better!”

Nguyen and Khayatan, however, did the hard thing: put their ambition to the test.  Theirs was no instant success:

Inspired during their visit on May 21, they experimented with putting a jacket on the floor and then a baseball cap, but neither drew attention.

Like any driven artist, the two persisted, until, the breakthrough!

Kevin then placed his Burberry glasses on the floor beneath a placard describing the theme of the gallery. He said neither he nor TJ did anything to influence museum visitors, such as standing around and looking at the glasses.

The linked article has a picture of what came next…;-)

Not that the creators could fully appreciate their success. One does have to sacrifice for art:

Within about three minutes, people appeared to be viewing their handiwork as bona fide art, though Kevin said that without his glasses, he could not see what was happening too well.

Give SFMOMA credit, though, for a sense of humor about the matter:

Screen Shot 2016-05-31 at 1.19.05 PM

That would be a reference to this, I believe (as does the NY Times…)

Anyway — good times!  And nothing to do with the ferret headed weasel (a sphinx for our times!), the senator from the north country, nor the lady whose nomination must not be acknowledged.  So I guess this makes it another politics free open-thread.  Have at it.

*Well.  Actually…they are, in exactly the sense that Magritte argued that his pipe was not.

Image: Artemisia Gentileschi, Self-Portrait as the Allegory of Painting, between 1638 and 1639.