Gun nuts

… Grievance and untethered delusion topped the menu at the event, with McCloskey and a roster of speakers largely unknown outside the fever swamps of the far right taking turns condemning everything from critical race theory (their newest and most nonsensical bogeyman) to “cultural Marxism” (George Soros’ fault of course, but how dare you level accusations of antisemitism) to the “radical left” agenda of (hahahahaha) Joe Biden. The whole gun-and-pony show was in service of McCloskey’s deeply stupid run for U.S. Senate, because if there’s one thing that qualifies a man for public office in the Republican party in 2021 it’s a willingness to point a firearm at those with whom you disagree politically…

The event kicked off around 2 p.m. with a pig roast and photo op with the McCloskeys, Mark clad in his pink-shirt finery and Patricia sporting the Hamburglar costume for which she is best-known. At least one man brought his rifle for the pair to sign, which of course they did, after which the man could be heard excitedly discussing how much money it was now worth…

At long last, after a gushing introduction in which Allman described Mark and Patricia as “everyone’s favorite neighbors” (a characterization with which their actual neighbors whole-heartedly disagree), McCloskey took to the stage to bask in the adulation of the not even half-full seating area of his adoring fans. He insisted gravely that the crowd of people who were walking past his house that fateful day a year ago would have murdered him and his wife and their dog and then burned their house down had he not waddled his ass outside barefoot to threaten them with a rifle, which is pretty confusing seeing as how literally none of McCloskey’s neighbors did the same and yet they all somehow came out unscathed. It also doesn’t fit with the findings of special prosecutor Richard Callahan, who noted in a statement upon the McCloskeys’ guilty plea that: “The protesters on the other hand were a racially mixed and peaceful group, including women and children, who simply made a wrong turn on their way to protest in front of the mayor’s house,” noting further that absolutely no evidence was ever found to show that any of the protesters were armed or intent on harming the couple…

McCloskey ended his speech by bringing his wife up on stage, and the two of them posed with a gun to the cheers of the crowd. One gets the distinct impression that those cheers were more for the gun itself than its owner though, and that more likely than not the crowd would probably prefer to vote for an actual firearm to be senator instead, if only there was some way to get one on the ballot. Honestly Mark is just a mascot, not unlike Ronald McDonald…

Musical closer:

I would fight this crowd to watch a Deep Purple cover band. pic.twitter.com/ZS9gHld7rn

— Grant Brisbee (@GrantBrisbee) June 28, 2021

How much do you suppose they’re paying the one young fit tatted dude to hang with their wannabe selves?

new boy band dropped: 88 degrees https://t.co/cm6JH8EaBy

— Jean-Michel Connard (@torriangray) June 28, 2021