Thanksgiving Morning Open Thread

I’m sure some of you are horrified now, but frankly, I’d eat this over the usual giant hacked-up bird.

The gathering where I’ll be spending the day will have a high-end, well-prepared turkey — along with a goose and a duck, also painstakingly prepared. I will be eating some of the Dakin ham that is my contribution to the feast. I’ll be sorry not to share the general accolades, but not sorry enough to force myself to chew poultry with a smile on my face.

What are y’all looking forward to, or looking forward to avoiding, at the table today?

Florida Man: Tutu Edition! Updated at 10:15 PM EDT

Another day, another embarrassing act by someone from my home state (Like BettyC, I’m a native. We’re on 6 hour shifts!).

– Two men, one wearing a tutu, broke into Tampa Farmer’s Market to eat fruit and drink soda early Tuesday morning.

The Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office released surveillance footage of the suspects breaking into the Fletcher Avenue store in hopes that the public can help identify them.

According to HCSO, the suspects gained access to the store by breaking out the glass door at approximately 1 a.m. on November 1, and proceeded to consume fruit and soda once inside.

A sheriff’s office spokesperson shared the following descriptions of the two suspects:

#1 – white male, thin build, possibly dressed in a cheerleading costume, wearing a TuTu, possibly wearing a wig.

#2-  male (unknown race), wearing a hoodie with an image of an owl on the front.

Anyone with any information reference these suspects is asked to call the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office at 247-8200 or anyone with any information regarding the identity and whereabouts of these suspects and who wants to be eligible for a cash reward is asked to call Crime Stoppers at 1-800-873-TIPS (8477).

There’s video at the link!

Open, night before Thanksgiving open thread!!!

Updated at 10:15 PM EDT

Allow me to regale you with more tales of the nightlife of Tampa!

– Newly released surveillance video could help Tampa Police locate the man who drove his car onto a sidewalk in Ybor City, hitting two people and a bar early Tuesday morning.

Around 3:25 a.m. Tuesday, after businesses had closed, a group of men began fighting outside the Bad Monkey Bar on East 7th Avenue in Tampa.

Surveillance cameras captured the brawl, including one subject involved in the fighting who attempted to leave the scene by driving away in a black Nissan.

“He tries to do a U-turn, and it’s really too tight of a street to do that. He gets hung up on the curb,” said Steve Hegarty, spokesperson for the Tampa Police Department.

The driver jumped the sidewalk and crashed into several men who were still fighting. One of the men was pushed through the window of the Bad Monkey bar when the car made impact, smashing the glass.
After crashing through the building, the driver left the scene.

Detectives are working to determine if the driver intentionally accelerated his car or if the crash was accidental.

“That’s a big question that we have right now. At the very least, it’s a hit and run. There was damage to the building, clearly, someone was injured and he left the scene,” said Hegarty.

Only one of the men on the sidewalk, Michael Silhol, 25, was hurt in the crash. Silhol suffered a minor leg and head injury.

The Bad Monkey bar was left with $15,000 worth of damage. It was closed at the time of the crash.

Video at the link, too, also, again!

T-1 Open Thread


I’m going to try to take a Thanksgiving holiday break from thinking or writing about Trump-related issues. It’s a health and safety thing; I just can’t cook turkey and dressing, make gravy, mash potatoes, etc., while contemplating an asshole-punching rampage through the center of town.

So, Thanksgiving. My sister is a vegetarian, and Thanksgiving is at her house this year. It grosses her out to deal with raw turkey, so if left to her own devices, she’d buy a heat-and-serve turkey from the grocery store. She’s done that in years when I was at my in-laws for TG. Well, not on my fucking watch, sis.

Instead, I’m roasting the turkey at my house and transporting it there. Timing shouldn’t be an issue because it takes about the same amount of time I’d let a roasted turkey rest before carving it to drive to my sister’s house. So, I think we’re okay there.

Luckily for us, we won’t encounter any of the Trumpenproletariat this Thanksgiving; only the sane half of the family will be in attendance. I’ll deal with the others once I’ve calmed down a bit. So don’t bother looking for “Florida Woman Bludgeons Father with Turkey Carcass, Shoves Uncle’s Face into Molten Sweet Potato Casserole” on your Twitter feeds.

Went to the store for feast preparation supplies yesterday, and goddamn, what a zoo. Unfortunately, I forgot sugar — a critical ingredient in the mister’s homemade cranberry sauce. I think I’ll just hit the convenience store and pay a premium rather than braving the supermarket on T-1.

What are your holiday plans, if any?

Saturday Dinner: Roasted Leg of Lamb With Root Vegetables

While TaMara made a return last night with her recipe exchange, I thought I’d go ahead and slip on the tiara, frilly apron, and matching oven mitts and get to work. For your gustatory pleasure, I proudly present a roasted bone out leg of lamb with root vegetables.

sliced_lamb   roasted_vegetables

The recipe is really very basic, but quite delicious:


1 Boneless Lamb Roast (in this case 4.5 lbs)

Kosher salt to taste

Freshly cracked black pepper to taste


Remove the lamb from the cryovac, remove the netting, rinse, and pat dry inside and out. Then salt and pepper the inside and outside of the lamb to taste. Let sit on the counter for an hour or so to bring the temperature of the lamb closer to room temperature. Preheat oven to 275. After an hour roll the lamb up, truss with twine tightly, and tie the twine off. Cover the bottom of a broiler pan with silver foil, then place the lamb roast onto the top of the broiler pan so the juices can run through the slits and be captured by the foil lined place. Roast until the internal temperature is 125-130 for rare or 135 for medium rare. When the internal temperature reaches your preference, remove from the oven, cover and let rest for 30 to 40 minutes. While the lamb is resting heat the oven to 500 degrees. After 30-40 minutes uncover the roast, place it back in the now 500 degree oven, and sear it for 15 minutes to crisp up the fat and make a nice, crispy crust. Remove from the oven after 15 minutes, move the roast to a cutting board, remove the twine, and slice.


(Salted and Peppered Lamb Ready for Twining)


(All Trussed Up and Nowhere to Go)


(Getting Read to Rest)


(Seared and Ready for Slicing)

Roasted root vegetables.


1 small bag Red heirloom potatoes

1 small bag Purple heirloom potatoes

8 stalks of celery

1 and 1/2 lbs of carrots chopped

Kosher salt to taste

Freshly cracked black pepper to taste

Minced garlic to taste


Rinse and then cut the potatoes in half and place in a large bowl. Rinse, trim the tops and bottoms, and then chop the celery into 1 inch pieces. Rinse, and if necessary (depending on what you’ve purchased) trim the tops from the carrots. Then chop into 1 inch pieces. Place the potatoes, celery, and carrots into a large bowl, drizzle with olive oil and toss. Then salt, pepper, and add the minced garlic to taste. Toss to coat the vegetables thoroughly and transfer to a roasting pan. Roast on the top rack of the oven while the lamb is roasting. When the lamb comes out to rest, leave the veggies in to finish as the oven heats to 500 degrees. When the lamb goes back in to sear, remove the vegetables and cover with foil until the lamb is seared, sliced, and ready for serving.


(Oiled, Seasoned, and Ready for Roasting)

And then enjoy!

Something Fun and Yummy

Torchy's Tacos Breakfast Taco (Monk) - Austin, TX

Torchy’s Tacos Breakfast Taco (Monk) – Austin, TX

In pursuit of some non-political thinking, submitted for your pleasure.

Last weekend I had the pleasure of being in Austin and having another encounter with their famous breakfast tacos. The sublime experience was delivered by Torchy’s Tacos and their sauces. I brought some extra sauces home and am now trying to recreate something like them before they go bad and I no longer have reference tastes.

And so of course I thought to mention them here, in case anyone’s cracked the code(s). My understanding is that it would take 24 or more hours to make their sauces because of many secret ingredients that take time to prepare such as special pepper sauces. So it’s not truly possible to recreate them at home, but getting close is more than enough reward.

But let me back up a step or two.

For those not in the know, Austin has a fantastic tradition of breakfast tacos; they are enjoyed throughout central Texas, including Dallas, but reach their pinnacle in Austin. They are a mix of eggs/cheese/chilies/veggies/meats and are served on a toasted corn or flour tortilla, and accompanied by sauces. Truly, this type of breakfast food is more than just eggs and stuff on a tortilla; there’s an art to these things, and every aspect contributes to the final result, especially those sauces.

Austin’s standard sauce is a creamy jalapeno-based sauce that is much milder than you might think. Some places fry or roast peppers before adding them and a neutral oil to make a creamy emulsion. As for Torchy’s, I enjoyed their chipotle and advocado sauces and those are what I am trying to recreate. They are both moderately spicy, and the chipotle sauce is white, and has a hint of the tang of ranch dressing, so that may be one secret. But the avocado sauce is a mystery though I expect its base is the standard Austin green sauce with some extras, including some avocado. It’s so good it hurts.

Having spent my early childhood in Texas, and almost a decade recently in Southern Colorado, I’ve grown to relish this type of Southwestern breakfast fare and make such things more than once a week. My signature ingredients include home-canned sliced jalapenos and frozen New Mexico or Pueblo (Colorado) green chilies I procure, process, pack, and freeze for individual thawing. I also make a mean green chile and am perfecting my posole this winter.

With my greatly-increased knowledge and skill in cooking and love of DIY sauces, trying to nail these sauces down is a new passion. They’re that good, and I’m hoping to share the love and perhaps get some much-needed help!

Basic Austin Green Sauce
Clean, slice, seed, and remove white veins from 6 jalapenos
1/2 cup grapeseed oil
3-6 cloves garlic
4 tbs lime juice
3/4 tsp salt

Process all ingredients except oil in food processor until smooth.
Then gradually add oil until the mixture emulsifies.

I like to put in fridge to let it set before eating, but that’s purely texture-aesthetic.

Please feel free to offer any tips, to discuss other delicious treats, and to otherwise offer something that goes good on the table to block out tension, second-guessing, and endless agitation. 8 more days until we make history…again.

Spatchcockalypse Now!!!


(a spatchcocked chicken preparing to rest)

Actually several hours ago for dinner. Since we’ve not had a recipe post for a while (cough, no pressure TaMara, cough), I’ve broken out the frilly apron, the tiara, and got to work. For dinner tonight I roasted a chicken. Specifically I spatchcocked it. For those not up on all the hip, culinary terms to spatchcock is to butterfly a chicken, game bird, or other type of poultry by removing the backbone and then grilling or roasting it. This is done so that the bird has a more uniform shape and the white meat won’t get dried out while you’re waiting for the dark meat to cook all the way through.

I preheated the over to 500 fahrenheit and cut the backbone out. Then I rubbed it all over with olive oil, then kosher salted, freshly cracked black peppered, and paprikaed liberally. I then placed the chicken onto my broiler pan, which has very nice drainage slits over the foil wrapped bottom catch pan. I inserted my probe cooking thermometer into the meatiest portion of one of the breasts, set the thermometer to go off at 150 degrees fahrenheit, and into the oven it went. You will want to keep an eye on it in case the skin darkens too fast you can lower the oven to 400 degrees, which is what I did with about 15 minutes to go. All told you’re looking at no more than 1 hour cooking time for a 7 lbs chicken.

When the thermometer measured the internal temp at 150 I took it out, put it on the lovely platter above, tented it with foil, and let it rest for ten minutes before slicing. I then finished off preparing the mashed potatoes and the lightly sauteed veggies. After ten minutes I drained the pan drippings/au jus into a gravy cup, sliced the chicken, took some more pictures, and took everything to the table. All in all an easy and tasty Sunday supper!



Open Thread: Trump Thinks E coli Gets Too Much Attention

In a fact sheet posted online Thursday, the campaign highlighted a number of “specific regulations to be eliminated” under the GOP nominee’s economic plan, including what they called the “FDA Food Police.”

“The FDA Food Police, which dictate how the federal government expects farmers to produce fruits and vegetables and even dictates the nutritional content of dog food,” it read…

The fact sheet was later removed from the website and a new fact sheet detailing Trump’s economic agenda did not include mention of the FDA.

The FDA recently completed an overhaul of the food safety system with seven rules to better protect consumers from food-borne illnesses. Manufacturers of both animal and human food are now required to implement preventive controls to minimize the risk of contaminating food when it’s manufactured, processed, packed or held by a facility.

Trump’s economic policy plan also calls for “an immediate halt to new federal regulations and a very thorough agency-level review of previous regulations to see which need to be scrapped.”…

This from a notorious germophobe. Of course, what that ‘float’ was really about is the usual Republican aversion to being “forced” to spend money just to keep other people safe. Because spending a few extra pennies on providing sanitary facilities for those lettuce-pickers is just like being forced to pray to Allah — it’s a religious issue, really!