Today in Bernie Bullshit


Ole Bernie has decided to force Kentucky to recanvas the entire fucking state, when at most he will gain one delegate, but probably none at all:

According to the Associated Press article, there is only one delegate remaining to be assigned in Kentucky. That’s in the sixth congressional district, where Clinton currently holds a slim 500 vote lead. Certainly, they should get that count right and assign the delegate accordingly, but otherwise the two candidates split the delegates evenly, 27 to 27. Sanders doesn’t stand to gain any delegates by forcing a recount of all 120 counties in Kentucky. He isn’t fighting for every last delegate. He’s just making up a controversy to throw sand in everyone’s eyes.

This isn’t adult behavior. I hate to say it, but it’s just not.

I wish Clinton could just release a statement that says “If Sanders is going to be such a giant WATB, just give him a fucking delegate and save the money.”

Fucking asshole.

Excellent Read: “It Is Hillary Clinton’s Destiny to Defeat Donald Trump”

Tom Junod, in Esquire“The modern, extremist right was pretty much invented in opposition to her (and her husband). Now it’s up to her (alone) to stop it”:

Of course, she sounded paranoid back when she first said it—participants in apocalyptic battles always sound paranoid when they first say they’re participants in apocalyptic battles. They sound especially paranoid when they answer a question in apocalyptic terms when the question was really about, well, blowjobs. This was a long time ago. This was back in 1998. Bill Clinton was the president of the United States of America. Hillary Clinton was the First Lady. He’d offended people by being a resourceful rascal. She’d offended people by saying something about cookies. They’d both offended people by trying and failing to bring about universal health care and by trying (and sort of failing) to allow gays to serve openly in the military. They’d been under investigation for years for something they’d supposedly done in Arkansas when, really, everyone knew the investigation was about sex—and secrets. He’d been accused of rape in the nascent right-wing press; she’d been accused of murder; and now they were finally caught. He had a secret, indeed—he’d had sex with a young woman in the White House and he’d testified, under oath, that he hadn’t. He had sinned all right; he had sinned against her, his wife, so that now even she couldn’t defend him. But she did. And she defended him by inveighing against them—against the “vast right-wing conspiracy.”

She sounded a little crazy. She sounded guilty of, at the very least, bad faith. Except that what she was saying turned out to be true—there really was an obscurely wealthy man, Richard Mellon Scaife, bankrolling the attacks against her and her husband; there really was a right-wing media spawned by structural changes overtaking the news business, and it had found, in the Clintons, the template for every story that was to follow. Her only error was a matter of language. She used the word vast to describe what she faced. It wasn’t vast, yet—

It is now. Nearly 30 years later, Richard Mellon Scaife has evolved into the Koch brothers, the then-fledgling right-wing media now claims the biggest and most powerful cable-news network among its ranks, and the money unleashed by the Citizens United decision has conjured a ring of super PACs organized specifically against her candidacy. The vast right-wing conspiracy is still here, and yet—and here’s the thing—so is she. The vast right-wing conspiracy has outlasted everybody but her. From the start, the attacks on her have had a tendency to resolve themselves in the most mundane terms—the Whitewater investigation turned out to be about a husband lying about infidelity; the Benghazi investigation turned out to be about, of all things, Sidney Blumenthal. But that doesn’t mean that both sides haven’t known the stakes all along. She’s always chosen to fight on metaphysical ground; she’s always defended herself cosmically because she’s been attacked cosmically, and so she’s lived to fight another day. But now that day is here. She helped create the modern right wing; the modern right wing helped create her; and now there is no place for them to go except at each other. The 2016 election is nothing less than the climactic event of the last three decades of American politics, and—it’s an amazing and scary thing to be able to write these words without irony—the future of the Free World lies in the balance…
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When They Said “Come Down” I Threw Up

HRClinton 2016. Because somebody needs to be the grown-up.  [Emphasis in the original.]

The notion that Hillary is the “grown up” in this campaign is perhaps true, considering the competition. But what does it mean to be a “grown up”? I think we can all agree that Barack Obama is probably the best example of a “grown up” politician that we’ve seen in the past few years. And if we look at Obama’s actions around the time when Hillary’s campaign was flopping around like a gutted fish in 2008, after her moron advisors helped her lose the race, we can see what a “grown up” did.

He quietly let Hillary’s campaign burn out, and when she quit, he was gracious about it.  We should expect the same from Hillary, and we should also expect Bernie to quit when he feels that it is bloody obvious to his supporters that he’s lost.  We should also expect him to endorse Hillary wholeheartedly and without reservation.

At this point in 2008, I was concerned about Hillary’s campaign, but I assumed she would come around.  In 2016, I feel the same about Bernie. Both of them, as well as their advisors and supporters, said some dumb things in the death throes of their campaigns.  (And a lot of people were freaking out.)  Those dumb things were forgotten by early Fall, 2008, and I’m sure the same will be true by Fall, 2016.

Speaking of “grown ups”, at this point in 2008, there were fewer “grown ups” in the Hillary camp than in the Sanders camp today:

One of the revealing nuggets of information from the recent NYT/CBS poll was that 72% of Bernie supporters say they plan to vote for Clinton against Trump. That compares to 60% of Hillary supporters who said the same thing about Obama in the same poll eight years ago. As we know, virtually all of Hillary’s supporters went on to vote for Obama. […]

I expect both Bernie and Hillary to be grown-ups and end this thing soon, and I expect Bernie’s supporters to back Hillary in the general. Apparently I’m in the minority here, but I don’t see more evidence of impending disaster than there was in 2008.

Late Night Open Thread: Our Opposition, in Their Own Words

Open Thread: Yes, I’m #TeamHillary

Despite Chuck Toad’s best efforts (‘Polls. Polls? Polls! Soundbites! But — polls!’), in my opinion today’s Meet the Press was actually a good show for Hillary Clinton (‘Votes. Work. Votes, votes, work, VOTE.’).

Transcript of the interview here. First question:

CHUCK TODD: Is Bernie Sanders now helping Donald Trump?

SEC. HILLARY CLINTON: Oh, I don’t think so. I think that Senator Sanders has every right to finish off his campaign however he chooses. I do think there will then be the obvious need for us to unify the party. I faced the same challenge in 2008. I will certainly do my part, reaching out to Senator Sanders, reaching out to his supporters. And I expect him to do his. And he said about a week ago, he was going to spend seven days a week trying to defeat Donald Trump. And I believe that’s the case… (after Todd rephrases the same question) I’m not going to negotiate with [the Sanders campaign] today on your show. I’m going to say when it’s time, I am reaching out to do my part to try to unify the party. I expect him to do the same. I did that when I lost a much closer race to Senator Obama. Because I knew that whatever our differences were, just as whatever our differences are between me and Senator Sanders, they pale in comparison to Donald Trump and the Republicans. And I think most of Senator Sanders’ supporters understand that as well.

Later, in response to Todd asking if she’d accept Mark Cuban as her VP…

SEC. HILLARY CLINTON: I am absolutely intending to look far and wide. And I think that is the best way to find somebody who can really capture what’s needed in the country, and businesspeople have, especially successful businesspeople who are really successful as opposed to pretend successful, I think have a lot to offer.

CHUCK TODD: Pretend successful? You don’t think–


CHUCK TODD: –is there anything Donald Trump’s done that you think should be praised?

SEC. HILLARY CLINTON: I think he needs to release his tax returns. The only two we have show that he hasn’t paid a penny in taxes. And yet he goes around talking about “Make America great.” You know? That means paying for our military. That means paying for our roads. That means paying for the V.A. That means a lot of things. And if you’ve got someone running for president who’s afraid to release his tax returns, because it will expose the fact that he pays no federal income tax, I think that’s a big problem.

CHUCK TODD: No, my question was there’s nothing about his background that is praiseworthy?

SEC. HILLARY CLINTON: We’ll find out. Because we have to get below the hype. We have to find what the reality is…

HRClinton 2016. Because somebody needs to be the grown-up.

But It’s Nervous Laughter… (UPDATED)

Trump’s general election outreach to Hispanic voters began yesterday with an address to the National Hispanic Christian Leadership Conference delivered from TrumpForce One:

There’s a distinct student council election vibe to it — the speech is all outlandish promises with nary a clue on how to accomplish them: We’re gonna make the cafeteria serve free pizza and ice cream every day and abolish pop quizzes!

Trump did utter one truth in the speech: “The world is laughing at us right now.”

Yes, I’m quite sure they are.

ETA: BC in Illinois in comments below points out that Hillary Clinton sent a video to the same organization:

She also managed to capture her remarks in landscape!

Late Night Clown Shoes Open Thread: Yeah, That’ll Happen

Spoiler: That won’t happen, because I’m pretty sure Trump regards Sanders as a political asterisk whose only use is to leach a few deluded leftists’ votes away from Hillary.

Per The Hill, Sanders accepted an invitation by Fox News earlier this week to take part in an upcoming debate ahead of the California primary”, because he’s about to run out of money in one of the most expensive media markets. Does anyone here feel we haven’t had enough debates already? Has either Sanders or Clinton changed any policy positions since their last debate in Michigan? Can anyone pretend Fox News has any goal beyond trying to ding up Clinton with the same discredited garbage they’ve been slinging 24/7?

And what would be Deadbeat Donald’s motivation for agreeing to debate St. Bernie? Is he gonna persuade any Bernistas that, hey, maybe the man they really want in the White House is a xenophobic plutocrat who hates women, minorities, poor people, and global harmony? Will his shouting-slogans-from-the-podium “debate” skillz shine against Sanders’ (not all that dissimilar) style, or will they both come off as a couple of alte kackers who need a snack and a nap?

Honestly, if this rises beyond the murk of twitter fantasists, it’ll mean that Fox News has a hole in its schedule and hopes for a good, noisy, Jerry-Springer-style chair-throwing melee among the audience. And I doubt the Secret Service will let them entertain that idea for long.