Floriduh! Man: Head Out on the Highway Edition

We’ve got actual documentary footage from Steve in the ATL’s recent trip to Florida!!!


The temperature drops into the mid 50s for a couple of days and everyone breaks out the furs.

Actually Steve in the ATL emailed me this link to Buzzfeed‘s annual 40 Most Insane Things to Happen in Florida in 2018 article. If you click through you might notice that I covered at least 15 of those here as Floriduh! Man or Woman posts.

Remember motorcycles are everywhere…

Open thread!

Cat Acclimation Advice Bleg

Update at 7:25 PM EST

Cliosfanboy sent a picture of Mom Cat across while I was at the gym, so here she is in all her glory!


Commenter Cliosfanboy has sent in a request for cat acclimation advice. Here’s the details:

Hi all. My wife and I have been taking care of a feral cat colony since 2010 with help from Alley Cat Allies. It started with a batch of kittens born to a single feral in a collapsed shed in my neighbor’s back yard. (the neighbor, and the shed, are long gone now) By coincidence my wife knew the President of Alley Cat Allies. She lived nearby so she gave us advice and help. AC Allies recommends Trap/Neuter/Release (TNR). You catch the cat via a humane trap. You have it neutered, tested, and vaccinated by a vet. They notch one ear so animal control and vets know it’s been fixed and vaccinated. Then you release it back to its home. Many ferals are not adoptable because they’re too wild, and more ferals will move in to take their spot if you just remove them. Once they are fixed they tend to be calmer, so there is much less fighting between cats. So far its worked for us.

In the past eight years we’ve had numerous cats living on our property. We bought specially made insulated cat houses so they have shelter during cold and wet weather, and we feed them every day. Some have moved in and then moved on (or passed away). One neighbor had problems with cats using their garden as a toilet, so I gave them some cat repellant which seems to have worked. Two of the original kittens survived to adulthood. One moved to a nearby house and was adopted. Another was killed by a wild animal. That one really saddened me as he was my favorite.

Why this post? Well, we have two cats now and my wife and I are thinking of moving. We’ve outgrown our little post-WWII Cape Cod and are looking for a larger place. But we took responsibility for the cats so we’re not going to just abandon them.

One of the two cats, Mom Cat, we think is adoptable. She comes out to greet us when we get home and keeps me company when I work outside. She lets us pet her, will sit next to me when I am sitting outside, and has even climbed into my lap. In the past we’ve not let her inside for a couple reasons.

  1. My wife is (probably) allergic
  2. We had three dogs and they are not all cat friendly.

Now, however, things have changed. My wife thinks that her allergy may be to only longhaired cats (long story) and Mom Cat is shorthaired. (you can see her photo on BJ calendars). Also, we are down to two dogs. Our eldest, Rocco, passed away in August. (God, I miss him). We actually thought the other two would be a bigger problem, but Mom Cat was recently in our house briefly and our Sonia did not bother her at all. (Mom Cat snuck in while I was carrying in groceries) That leaves our dachshund Spud.   If he can be trained to leave Mom Cat alone we think we can try to start to acclimate her to inside life a bit. That means when we move we could bring her along (hopefully) or she could be adopted by a cat person.

OK, here is what I want to ask of the Balloon Juicers.

  1. We need suggestions/advice on how to introduce Spud the Weiner Dog to Mom Cat. Neither Spud nor Sonia bark at the cats and they’ve sat and simply watched when I’ve gone out the door with Mom Cat waiting for me outside.
  2. How do I best slowly acclimate Mom Cat to the indoors. She will likely not want to live indoors all the time.
  3. Are there any other BJers in the northern Va/DC area who is a cat person willing to try to see if they can work with Cat #2, AKA Gray Mom? Gray Mom does not let anyone pet her, nor can we get close to her. She may be permanently feral, but if there is a cat whisperer around here we’d love for their help. . My wife would prefer that we find a home for Mom Cat too.

I should note that neither my wife nor I had cats growing up, so I am not sure how to even pick one up! I can’t find the handle anywhere!!! But we’d appreciate help. Thanks.

You all know what to do!

Open thread!

Floriduh Man! and Floriduh! Woman: Been a Busy Few Days in Pinellas County…

It’s been a while since we checked in with Floriduh! Man, or at least Floriduh! Man not trying to blow up a couple of dozen people, so let’s see what we’ve got cooking. Er, um…

Take it away Tampa Bay Times!

ST. PETERSBURG — It started with chicken wings, a beer and a burglar.

It went downhill from there.

A St. Petersburg police officer was investigating a Nov. 6 break-in at The Chattaway restaurant, reviewing surveillance video that shows the burglar devouring a plate of chicken wings and enjoying a beer inside the kitchen. But then the officer stumbled across another incident from the night before.

The video shows a man riding his bike up to the restaurant at 358 22nd Ave S, pedaling around the parking lot for 10 minutes, then slipping in through the back gate. After wandering around for a bit, he opens the door to a shed for storing odds and ends, and removes them one by one.

Then the man gains access to a restaurant bathroom. And exits without his clothes.

He proceeds to sit naked at one of the restaurant’s picnic tables and digs into a meal he brought with him — Maruchan Instant Lunch ramen. The video also shows him playing the bongos, also naked.

“He came in with pants on but he rode off on the bike without pants,” Chattaway server Chad Pearson said. “I’m not sure if he took his pants with him but we didn’t find them. We still don’t know where his pants are.”

He spray-painted a few chairs, the bongos and a pickle jar, but his handiwork was barely noticeable, manager Amanda Kitto said. Everything was put back so neatly, in fact, it was four hours before anyone noticed he had been there.

“We would not have known about the naked guy without the cop finding that video,” Kitto said.

Police identified the man, who is homeless, but did not release his name publicly. Kitto declined to give his name and said the restaurant will not press charges because he caused no harm.

“His goal was to not break in, his goal was to just hang out at The Chattaway.”

What about the first guy?

Police still are trying to catch him.

He enjoyed the plate of chicken wings and some beer, and stole an estimated $500 worth of stuff, including cash tips, a laptop, a tablet, and a grocery bag he filled with beer.

“He made himself at home,” Kitto said. “He spent over an hour just milling around going room to room and eating and drinking while he did it.”

The man also tried unsuccessfully to access the safe using his hands, a pot handle and tongs.

Kitto is confident that even though the two incidents happened back-to-back, they are not connected.

“I used to always joke and say that if you were going to break into The Chattaway to make sure to grab a beer. And it finally happened.”

I was hot, and I was hungry. Okay?

Also, given the Real Genius reference, this cannot be unseen!

Floriduh! Woman, however, also put in a strong showing.

Once again The Tampa Bay Times has got this story well in hand…

The lobster never saw it coming.

One second it was floating listlessly in a glass tank, vying against endless shrimp, the smell of Cheddar Bay Biscuits hanging hauntingly in the air. Then, the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office said, an apparently intoxicated St. Petersburg woman snatched the lobster from its crustaceous purgatory and ran.

The lobster was never seen again.

Kimberly Gabel was arrested Saturday on charges of disorderly intoxication and petit theft for causing a disturbance in the Red Lobster at 6151 34th St N . The restaurant had barely been open two hours.

It was just after 1:15 p.m., deputies said, when a manager at the restaurant asked Gabel to leave. The manager said she was disturbing customers and shouted obscenities as she made her way to the door. Before she could leave, though, the 42-year-old woman reached into the oft-familiar entryway lobster tank, grabbed a live lobster and bolted.

Deputies said they caught up with Gabel a “short distance later.” They said she smelled of alcohol and slurred her words as she continued cursing, telling deputies she didn’t know what she did with the lobster because she was “blacked out drunk” and that she “did not care because she did not do anything wrong.”

Deputies described Gabel as a homeless woman. According to Pinellas County Jail records, she has been arrested numerous times for charges ranging from public intoxication to multiple counts of burglary and theft. She is currently awaiting trial in Pinellas County Jail.

Stay hungry!

Open thread!

Late Evening Diversionary Open Thread

For your late evening, Eastern Daylight Time, diversionary enjoyment pleasure.

Open thread!

How About We All Take a Deep Breath and Go Awwwwww!

Apparently everyone’s a wee bit stressed out, which is understandable. So rather than explaining the vetting process* on how a series of white supremacists, plagiarists, conspiracists, economic illiterates, white collar criminals, and some, I assume, are good people, I thought something relaxing might be in order. Everyone say awwww!!!!

Open thread.

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Even the Crocodiles Have had Enough and Need a Diversion

Well you don’t see this everyday. And, of course, it’s in Florida!

From Fox13 Florida:

 – It’s not unusual to see an alligator or crocodile swimming in a canal in South Florida but it’s definitely unusual to see a crocodile swimming by on a pool noodle.

Victor Perez snapped the photo of a crocodile floating along on a pool noodle in Key Largo earlier this month.

We see crocs from time to time in our canal but never ever one on a noodle…” Perez told FOX 13. “He could have been from up north on vacation just chilling.”

The National Weather Service in Key West shared the photo saying, “Yes, that is a crocodile on a noodle. Even they know to ‘Play It Safe’ when heading into the water!”

While alligators are far more common in Florida, a breed of crocs called the American crocodile is found in South Florida and even as far north as Tampa.

Keep your heads above water!

Open thread!

Floriduh! Man and Gator

Back in July, I brought you the story of the Floriduh! Man who dumped an injured gator at a WaWa gas station and convenience store. Apparently this has started a slowly developing trend of Floriduh! Men, gators, and convenience stores!

Open thread!