Open Thread: Theme of the Day

Speaking of winsome beasts that hunger after garbage, apparently Scott ‘Cosmo Centerfold’ Brown has given up on finding a state from where he might dogwhistle his way back into the Senate…

The Boston Globe reports:

Brown, who was previously considered for the veterans affairs Cabinet post, has told associates that he believes he will get the nod for Wellington, one of the people familiar with the discussions told the Globe.

The White House declined to comment Friday, and Brown did not respond to several requests for comment…

After losing the 2012 Massachusetts Senate race to Democrat Elizabeth Warren, Brown moved to New Hampshire and unsuccessfully challenged Democratic US Senator Jeanne Shaheen two years later.

During the presidential primary, Brown threw “no-BS backyard barbecues” for GOP contenders, fashioning for himself a role as something of a power broker. He hosted Trump at a Financial District fund-raiser in June, after Trump had all but secured the nomination.

Brown endorsed Trump at a pivotal juncture in the 2016 GOP presidential primaries, after Trump had lost the Iowa caucuses to Senator Ted Cruz of Texas and just before the New Hampshire primary…

In a 2015 interview with GQ about his passion for cycling, Brown said, “I’ve always wanted to go to New Zealand or Scotland or Wales and just ride 100 miles, hit a pub, drink, eat, sleep, do some exploring, and then get up, ride another 100 miles, do that for a couple weeks.”

Hard cheese, New Zealanders, but us Massholes would be just as glad to wave ‘Scoff’ and his bicycle off to your side of the globe. If he gets on your nerves, tell him it’s considered a feat of strength to wrestle rams into submission. Or that Maori find it hilarious when white people make fun of the haka, just like Native Americans enjoy ‘Pocahontas’ jokes.



Late Night Open Thread: It Would Explain Britain Jumping to the Head of the Queue…

Anybody more… knowledgeable want to comment on this? I’m kinda afraid to google…
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And Then You Have This Idiot

Jesus christ:

Democratic Sen. Joe Manchin called for a new “war on drugs” Tuesday to combat the opioid crisis striking his state of West Virginia, eagerly adopting the language of the now much-criticized Nixon-era push to curb illicit substance use.
“We need to declare a war on drugs,” Manchin told CNN’s Jake Tapper on “The Lead” when asked what President-elect Donald Trump should do to combat the situation.

And maybe a slogan! Like, say… “JUST SAY NO!.” And commercials… I have an idea! An egg in a frying pan representing your brain on drugs. And maybe we can DARE our kids to not do drugs. We should probably gut the bill of rights to fight this war. And mandatory minimums.

Also was a fan of when he said when he was a kid, they didn’t have this kind of problem with these drugs. Oxycontin was introduced in 1996, when Senator Manchin was 39.

But he’s a real American, because he ended the interview wishing Jake Tapper a Merry Christmas.



Jill Stein- Grifter, Idiot, or Attention Seeking Diva?

tina-fey-go-home

I’ll take all three:

Jill Stein, having spent the entire election telling us all that Hillary Clinton was a mass murderer who would be worse than Trump has apparently had a change of heart, or wants more attention, or just wants to raise a ton of money she won’t refund when the states won’t or don’t do the recount.

If you want to know why no one takes the green party seriously despite aligning with them on many issues (or more accurately, them aligning with us on many issues since they haven’t done jack shit), this is why.

In related news, I am also raising money for a recount. Just click on the paypal link above and I will make sure I send it right away to my fucking bloodsucking plumber and electrician the appropriate states.



Then Why Did You Run for President You Moron?

My head hurts:

Ben Carson rejected a role in President-elect Donald Trump’s cabinet, The Hill reported on Tuesday morning. According to the retired neurosurgeon and former Republican primary candidate’s close friend and manager Armstrong Williams, “Dr. Carson was never offered a specific position [in the administration], but everything was open to him.” Ultimately, Williams said, “Dr. Carson feels he has no government experience, he’s never run a federal agency. The last thing he would want to do was take a position that could cripple the presidency.”

Carson knows the real money is in Wingnut Welfare.



May You Live in Interesting Times

***TAKES SOME MORE ALKA SELTZER COLD AND FLU AND WEEPS QUIETLY INTO PILLOW***








Republican Youth Outreach Continues

And what is it with this Beyonce and Jay Z, amirite? This hip-hop stuff. I don’t get it:

walkingandtalking

In his defense, this is kind of how I feel about speedwalking. I mean, are they walking? Are they running? What’s going on with it?