Tuesday Morning Open Thread: Culinary Ed for Jingoists

Tonight is the Trump Occupancy’s first official state dinner, and somebody managed to persuade Lord Smallgloves that if he wanted a well-done steak with ketchup, he could eat his own meal early. (And you thought you hated *your* job.) Because the guest of honor is French, and/or because the only Democrat on the guest list is Louisiana Governor Bel Edwards, a Cajun-influenced side dish is included on the menu.

Possibly because the thought of sheep always gets bloviating wingnuts amorphously aroused, Erik Son of Erik, Founder of Red State Trike Farce Strike Force and Professional Christianist, decided to take public offense. Mockery ensued!


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Russiagate Open Thread: When Even Andrea Mitchell Is Giving You Side-Eye…

Please proceed, Trump Official!…



Because Fuck It Why Not?

Solid:

Former New York mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani, a combative former prosecutor and longtime ally of President Trump, told The Washington Post on Thursday that he has joined the president’s legal team dealing with the ongoing special counsel probe.

“I’m doing it because I hope we can negotiate an end to this for the good of the country and because I have high regard for the president and for Bob Mueller,” Giuliani said in an interview.

Trump counsel Jay Sekulow said Thursday in a statement that Giuliani is joining the team along with two former federal prosecutors, Jane Serene Raskin and Marty Raskin, a couple who jointly run a Florida-based law firm.

What’s the opposite of the dream team? At least this will be entertaining.








Soft, Squishy Comic Relief Open Thread: Richard Cohen Feels Himself OPPRESSED!


 
Give Cohen this much: Unlike the 30-something MRAs fulminating on Reddit, he’s actually old enough to remember when white men did own the world. Maybe they can adopt him as their Angry Shouty Granpa, once the current Oval Office Occupant has been carted off. Or maybe they’ll look at him, and realize how ridiculous their Very Heartfelt Grievances really are! (I kid, I kid… )

White guy BJ jackals, don’t be wounded — consider this a little Wednesday evening gift. You can look at this and remind yourself, Well, I may not be totally woke, but at least I’m not Richard Cohen.



Open Thread: Sad Little News Capsules for Our Degraded Times

As the Potemkin facades erode in the unceasing drizzle…

Speaking with pollster Frank Luntz about Donald Trump’s Twitter habits, with Luntz calling the president’s use of “fake news” detrimental to his cause, Kurtz brought up a recent poll from Monmouth University on the trustworthiness of news outlets compared to the trustworthiness of Donald Trump.

That is when things took a hilarious turn.

“Speaking of fake news, there is a new poll out from Monmouth University. ‘Do the media report fake news regularly or occasionally?’ 77 percent say yes,” Kurtz exclaimed before noticing the graphic instead showed “Who do you trust more?” with CNN at 48 percent, MSNBC at 45 percent and Fox News bring up the rear at 30 percent.

“That is not the graphic we are looking for. Hold off,” the Fox News host protested before pleading, “Take that down, please.”…

The context, from the five-minute Fox clip at the link, was Luntz & Kurtz commiserating over how Trump is “unintentionally” damaging the Republican Party (and, cough *Fox News* cough), with his undisciplined torrent of FAKE NEWS!!!! tweets. Because Frank and Howie had no idea Trump was a snake when they hugged him to their bosoms, poor innocent fellas that they be…



Late Saturday Night Open Thread: Redemption Is Possible!

Seagulls, dude…

A Nova Scotia man banned from Victoria’s stately Fairmont Empress hotel is welcome back after apologizing for an incident more than 17 years ago in which seagulls hungry for pepperoni trashed his room in a rock star frenzy.,,

“I remember walking down the long hall and opening the door to my room to find an entire flock of seagulls in my room,” stated Burchill’s letter. “I didn’t have time to count, but there must have been 40 of them and they had been in my room, eating pepperoni for a long time.”

He said he startled the gorging birds, which is when things really got out of control.

“They immediately started flying around and crashing into things as they desperately tried to leave the room through the small opening by which they had entered,” said Burchill. “The result was a tornado of seagull excrement, feathers, pepperoni chunks and fairly large birds whipping around the room.”

Tracey Drake, the hotel’s public relations director, said Monday there were thoughts this was an April Fools’ Day prank, but a check of the records and Burchill’s appearance at the front desk last weekend confirmed the seagull story and the former guest’s permanent ban…

“The hotel followed up with his employer afterwards, saying he’s not welcome back at the hotel due to the damage in the room,” Drake said. “He’s correct. The lamps were broken. The room was trashed. It’s a really funny story to tell 17 years later, but I was sitting here thinking about the housekeeper and what her first reaction must have been when she opened that door.”…

The letter he sent to the Empress and posted on Facebook explained how his plan to bring spicy Nova Scotia pepperoni to Victoria to share with friends stationed at the West Coast naval base went astray when he decided to cool the meat near the window because his room didn’t have a fridge.

Drake said the damage to the room was beyond description, but all is forgiven and Burchill is back on the guest list…

Surely there’s a Trumplodyte joke lurking in there somewhere?



Late Night Repub Stupidity/Venality Open Thread: Folding His Tents Ducky Pajamas

Corpus Christi Republican Blake Farenthold abruptly resigned from Congress Friday afternoon, less than four months after dropping re-election plans under siege for crude and verbally abusive office behavior…

He made no mention on Friday of any of the allegations that ended his congressional career, and made no apologies for using $84,000 in taxpayer funds to settle a sexual harassment suit.

He promised to repay those funds four months ago, but has not done so…

Texas is seeing enormous turnover in its congressional delegation this year.

Out of 36 House members, eight announced plans to retire in the last few months. Farenthold is the first to actually leave office…

More granular detail about the upcoming primaries at the link.

ETA: Title reference, from (Republican) Charlie Sykes…