Dubya is a LIYAH, and his pants are on FIYAH!
If you haven’t heard because you’ve been trapped under something heavy or whatever, Bush is back! And I’m not talking about the death of the Brazilian wax, either.
I’m talking about the butthole who turned this country into a right mess, and then peaced out, leaving The Black Guy to play janitor. The butthole who, two years later, just cruised back on to the scene as if nothing ever happened.
Man, I hate that guy.
You know who Bush is? He’s the guy who farts in an elevator and then walks out smirking, leaving you and everyone else in the elevator to wonder what the fuck just happened. Everybody hates that guy.
Later that week, when you see Fart Guy and call his ass out: “Dude! What was with the elevator air assault? That shit ain’t right!” Fart Guy will act all surprised: “What?! I didn’t fart in the elevator!”
So you’re thinking to yourself, “Can you believe this guy?” but you press on: “Dude, a company-wide newsletter was issued, and it states “FART GUY FARTS IN ELEVATOR.”
But Fart Guy won’t budge: “So?”
You get increasingly frustrated: “So?! Whaddya mean ‘So?’ You read that newsletter and you admitted it at lunch the other day! Now you’re saying it wasn’t you? WTF?! It’s a provable fact that you farted in that elevator, bro!”
Still, Fart Guy isn’t phased. He just shrugs and says, “Whatever, dude. I reject your ‘facts’. In fact, ‘facts’ are just stubborn opinions.” Then he farts again, smirks, and walks away.
Tortured analogy or not, this is what George Bush’s book is: It’s a fart in a crowded elevator.
And, as it turns out, it’s not even an original fart in a crowded elevator. It’d be like if Fart Guy went to a Fart Factory where all the best and brightest and smelliest farts are stored; grabbed a couple fart particles from this batch o’ farts and a couple from that batch o’ farts; sealed them up in a bottle; and then fired off the faux fart in the elevator. That’s what this is like.
What the hell am I talking about? Who knows, really. It’s mostly just a ploy to get you toread this post because I just re-read it and I’m cracking up.
But, I’ll cut to the chase: George W. Bush is a dirty damn plagiarizer and a dirty damn liar. Rather than write (or have someone write) an original book, (or “a book” as it’s known in common parlance), he lifted passages from a bunch of books and articles written by other people. Smarter people. People with better farts that were ripe for the bottlin’.
Here’s an example from The Huffington Post:
From Decision Points, p. 205: “When Karzai arrived in Kabul for his inauguration on December 22 – 102 days after 9/11 – several Northern Alliance leaders and their bodyguards greeted him at an airport. As Karzai walked across the tarmac alone, a stunned Tajik warlord asked where all his men were. Karzai, responded, ‘Why, General, you are my men. All of you who are Afghans are my men.'”
From Ahmed Rashid’s The Mess in Afghanistan, quoted in The New York Times Review of Books: “At the airport to receive [Karzai] was the warlord General Mohammad Fahim, a Tajik from the Panjshir Valley …. As the two men shook hands on the tarmac, Fahim looked confused. ‘Where are your men?’ he asked. Karzai turned to him in his disarmingly gentle manner of speaking. ‘Why General,’ he replied, “you are my men—all of you are Afghans and are my men…'”
Bush was not at Karzai’s Inauguration.
And another: Read more