In yesterday’s diversion on the importance of precision in language (that confusion about Merle Haggard’s brides, etc.), valued commenter Bruce K. in ATH-GR noted that he sometimes asks for care packages of commas from friends in the US. I promised him a post that touches on this, and boy, do I have one. I’m sure …
And On The Matter Of CommasPost + Comments (66)
Newburyport it is the voise of the peopel and I cant Help it and so Let it goue Now as I must be Lord there will foler many more Lords prittey soune for it Dont hurt A Cat Nor the mouse Nor the son Nor the water Nor the Eare then goue on all in Easey Now bons broaken all is well all in Love Now I be gin to Lay the Corner ston with grat Remembrence of my father Jorge Washington the grate herow 17 sentreys past before we found so good A father to his children and Now gone to Rest Now to shoue my Love to my father and grate Carieters I will shoue the world one of the grate Wonders of the world in 15 months if Now man mourders me in Dors or out Dors such A mouserum on Earth will annonce O Lord thou knowest to be troue
There’s lots more. I mean LOTS. Consume your pickle thus forewarned.
Now, Dexter was in many ways an asshole. He is remembered as an eccentric, but really, he was just a rich jerk, in whole or in large part. An anecdote repeated in his every biographical notice is that he held a rehearsal for his funeral. He saw that his wife didn’t mourn with the intensity he thought his due. So he caned her.
As I said. Asshole.
But, and here’s my point (I do have one!) and my gift to our Greek Bruce. A Pickle for the Knowing Ones was less written and more core-dumped (I’m that old) onto the page in an order dictated only by whatever Dexter was thinking about in the moment. It was, bizarrely, yet another success for unpleasant fellow. He handed out copies of the first printing for free, but it became popular (I’m guessing in a point-and-look-at-the-trainwreck kind of way) and went through a number of commercial reprintings.
And, as you’ll see in the (dear FSM, thankfully) brief passage above, it followed Dexter’s views on punctuation. As in, punctuation is a mug’s game. A crutch for small minds. Utterly unnecessary.
Not all of his readers agreed, and some, at least, let Dexter know, so he responded in the second edition with this:
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ?????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????!??????????????? !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' ...................................... ...................................... ...................................... ...................................... -------------------------------------- -------------------------------------- --------------------------------------
All on a separate page in the text, with this explanation from Dexter:
fouder mister printer the Nowing ones complane of my book the fust edition had no stops I put in A Nuf here and thay may peper and solt it as they plese
Well. OK then.
Bruce: you may have these commas and all the rest besides, free and gratis for your use.
As for the rest of us? I do hope that this bit of bonkersness livens the afternoon for you all. This thread could not be more open. If you have tales of spectacular bozo-ness to share, so much the better, but, as ever, peper and solt the comments as you please.
Images: Paul Klee, Untitled, c. 1938.
2: J.H. Bufford, A view of the mansion of the late Lord Timothy Dexter in High Street, Newburyport, 1810, printed 1840
3: Engraving of Timothy Dexter and dog from the frontispiece of A Pickle For The Knowing Ones, 1848 edition.