Every time my internet goes out, which is something that is happening more and more often, and I call your 1-800-COMCAST helpline and select that I am having trouble with my internet and am then told by the automated voice to seek help at if I do not want to hold for an operator, I die a little on the inside.

Please make that stop.


Steve Benen asks, “What do you think would happen if a Democrat had said this“:

We spent the night in the Green Zone, in the poolhouse of one of Saddam’s palaces. A little weird, I got to be honest with you. But I felt safe. And so in the morning, I got up early — not that I make this a great habit — but I went to the gym because I just couldn’t sleep and everything else. Well, sure enough, the guard wouldn’t let me in. Said I didn’t have the correct credentials.

“It’s 5:00 in the morning. I haven’t had sleep. I was not very happy with this two-bit security guard.

Do you even need to ask? Really?

If McHenry was a Democrat there would be a full on red alert action report sent across the WingNetTM. Kerning charts would be pulled out for referencing. Cheeto’s and Mountain Dew stock would triple. McHenry’s countertops would be inspected, and the Confederate Yankee would spend a week linking all the times McHenry had been in the same state as Barack Obama, showing decisively that Obama hates the troops (Jake Tapper would note that he thought this was the case, because he has a really keen sense for traitors- ask anyone in his family). We would learn that someone in McHenry’s family tree did something vaguely subversive in the 1960’s (maybe smoked a joint while listening to Jimi Hendrix’s version of the Star Spangled Banner, rather than standing erect and proudly displaying a lapel pin).

The Instapundit would kick his passive/aggressive BS into overdrive, linking every rambling yahoo on the intertrons who wants to proudly display their patriotism (500 different links to poorly written proclamations without the benefit of a shift key that “OUR TROOPS AIN’T JUST SECURITY GUARDS THEY ARE THE BEST AND THE BRIGHTESTEST). Red State would send out a fundraising letter for another 25k for website development to combat evil leftist smears against our troops. Mickey Kaus would stop sodomizing fellating goats long enough to pen a column about his outrage, and since he is a Democrat himself (wink, wink), this would give the outrage enough respectability that the odious fool Howie Kurtz would write six columns about it, describing the outrage, pushing it until there would be wall to wall coverage on the cable networks and Wolf Blitzer finally asks the poll question:

“Why do Democrats hate our troops and why do they hate the country, and how can they expect to win the Presidency with that attitude? ”

That is what would fucking happen.

*** Update ***

Apparently something similar already did happen, but with a reporter instead of a Democrat (same thing to a wingnut). My prediction of what would happen is alarmingly accurate.

*** Update #2 ***

Tom Maguire asks:

My question – what in the telling of this story (other than their own partisan desire, of course) makes them think the guard in question is either American or a soldier?

I am doubtful that we are talking about a full security checkpoint at the limits of the Green Zone, although even there it is possible to encounter foreign troops, Iraqi security, and (IIRC) private contractors. But if the encounter occurred inside the Green Zone, as is likely, why couldn’t the “two bit security guard” simply be an Iraqi rent-a-cop or private doorman?

Nothing, and I actually thought about that myself when I watched the video. And here is where it gets really, really depressing. Even if the “two bit security guard” turns out to be an actual “two bit security guard,” if a Democrat uttered it, the outcome would be the same. The right-wing outrage machine would keep on a’churning, and instead of asking why Democrats hate the troops they would ask why Democrats hate Americans over there protecting us. And, regardless, it would enter into the mythology that it was a soldier anyway, and for the next 30 years that Democrat would have people accusing him of hating the troops. That what was so particularly evil about Jonah Goldberg’s bs Liberal Fascism. Everyone with a brain knows it is utter nonsense. Everyone, that is, but the target audience- the brain-dead frat boy morons and Corner readers who will repeat it for the next 30 years.

*** Update #3 ***

Our buddies (I kid) at Protein Wisdom (You got to admit they have a crack staff over there. I mean, it couldn’t be easy finding someone more long-winded than Jeff, but they did with Karl) have the following to add:

The Leftosphere, at post-time, has not updated their posts to reflect Amanda’s apparent error. ThinkProgress should have particular fun explaining themselves, given that they recently passed along a bogus claim that Iraqi doctors in al-Anbar province are warning of a new disease they are calling “Blackwater Fever” named after the controversial security firm. However, John Cole deserves special mention for admitting he considered that the story maight not involve a US soldier from the outset, only to argue that he really does not care, because — if the roles were reversed — the ”right-wing outrage machine” would just perpetuate the Big Lie anyway. Them are some fine standards he’s got.

Heya Karl. Here is Ed at Hot Air:

Does this really make it any better? After all, the contractors risk their lives as well, albeit for better compensation. One of my good friends worked in Iraq as a contractor, and I can assure McHenry that Mike the SEAL is no two-bit security guard. He’s a highly trained professional who does vital work whether as a SEAL or as a contractor.

Ding Think Progress for the inaccuracy, but McHenry isn’t off the hook.

Quit worrying about my standards, Karl, because I am right about how you all would react. Besides, don’t you all have ex-girlfriends to publicly trash (we know- it is tough love).

*** Update #4 ***

Karl, continuing to suffer from bunched up Superman underwear:

Wrong. Cole’s side of the story is that he watched the video, noticed it did not really specify a soldier, but decided to go with it anyway because the “right wing outrage machine” wouuld do the same if the shoe was on the other foot. But as you and I agree, people on the Right criticized McHenry for his comments (though it now turns out some selective editing was involved). So Cole propagated the bogus story based on a bogus perception of his opponents. I don’t know whether that qualifies him as Father of Lies, but it does make him doubly dishonest in this instance.

Umm, I didn’t propagate a bogus story, I simply gave a response to the Carpetbagger about what would have happened in Karl’s little circle-jerk of friends had McHenry been a Democrat. That it already happened to a McClatchy reporter, precisely as I suggested it would, is just doubly funny.

Does Karl really doubt this? Does anyone? Really? Seriously?

Want To Buy Better Media, Please Email Offers

Jake Tapper:

Last August, I ran into Sen. Barack Obama, D-Illinois, outside the Senate chamber in the Capitol.

This was before the Obama surge, before he had omnipresent Secret Service agents, back when you might see him strolling solo.

We chatted for a second, mainly about the Pakistan speech he’d recently given and about how the media had covered it. He was in good spirits.

As any close friend or family member can attest, I have an unusually keen sense of smell and immediately I smelled cigarette smoke on Obama. Frankly, he reeked of cigarettes.

Obama ran off before I could ask him if he’d just snuck a smoke, so I called his campaign.

They denied it. He’d quit months before, in February, they insisted. He chewed nicorette.

But I knew what I’d smelled and I asked his campaign to double-check and to ask him if he’d had a cigarette.

They reported back that he had told them he hadn’t had a cigarette since he quit.

And maybe that was true. Maybe I imagined the cigarette smoke. My olfactory nerve somehow misfired.

Except….last night on MSNBC’s Hardball, Obama admitted that his attempt to wean himself from the vile tobacco weed had not been entirely successful.

“I fell off the wagon a couple times during the course of it, and then was able to get back on,” he said. “But it is a struggle like everything else.”

Now I wonder about last August.

It’s not a big deal in the scheme of things — the war on Iraq, a major economic crisis — indeed, it’s miniscule. Hardly worth mentioning.

Except that I don’t like feeling that I wasn’t being dealt with honestly. And as much as citizens who are suspect of the media might scoff at such a notion, many of us consider ourselves to be your representatives to help make sure our leaders are telling us the truth, and leading the country down a path we’re confident is the right one. (Corny, I know.)

We are still unpacking the memos written by Bush’s henchman that paved the way for torture, and a member of our media has his panties in a knot because a candidate may have been less than candid to him about smoking a legal substance. Where was this fucking spidey sense the past eight years?

As someone who took ten years to finally quit smoking, and still, to this day, keeps a box of Nicorette in the cabinet, Jake Tapper can go piss off. After the lawyers, I say we kill the media.

*** Update ***

I had to dash this post off in a fit of rage before heading to the panel I discuss in the next post, and it appears I forgot to note why this tapper dribble pisses me off so much (aside from the obvious reasons). Tapper feels like Obama lied to him, and feels bad because he “wasn’t dealt with honestly,” and he HAS NO FUCKING REASON TO FEEL THAT WAY. He made any dishonesty up in his head.

He says himself he did not ask Obama. He asked the campaign, who more than likely had no idea if Obama had had a cigarette right before he talked to Tapper. They responded like any staff would- no, he isn’t smoking, he is chewing Nicorette. Then a year later, when Obama is asked directly, he responds that yes, he has slipped from time to time.

Rather than be dishonest, as Tapper is portraying Obama, he is being honest and forthright on the issue, and Tapper gets sand in the vajayjay anyway. It is mind-numbing. How does this guy have a fucking job working for a major news organization?


I guess yelling that she was going to vote for Hillary over McCain didn’t get her enough attention, so Ann Coulter once again farts in public to try to gain everyone’s attention:

If characters from “The Hills” were to emote about race, I imagine it would sound like B. Hussein Obama’s autobiography, “Dreams From My Father.”

Has anybody read this book? Inasmuch as the book reveals Obama to be a flabbergasting lunatic, I gather the answer is no. Obama is about to be our next president: You might want to take a peek. If only people had read “Mein Kampf” …

What an asshole.

Hillary’s Endgame

Josh Marshall discusses Donna Brazille’s appearance this morning on This Week here, and in another posts states the following:

So there it is. Since neither side now seems to think revotes are likely and the Obama campaign and the DNC will never agree to seat the delegates from the non-sanctioned primaries, Sen. Clinton seems to be saying pretty clearly that she plans on taking her campaign all the way to Denver.

By saying she’ll continue through the remaining ten contests, regardless of the outcome, and implicitly, I take it, regardless of any superdelegate declarations over the next two months, Sen. Clinton is saying it’s no longer about pledged delegates, or superdelegates or popular votes. It’s about Florida and Michigan. Period.

At the GOS, Rerutled runs the numbers and determines that right now Clinton has 61 votes on the credential committee, Obama has 70, but that 26 are up for grabs. With the way they are apportioned with the remaining contests in ten states, he comes to the following conclusion:

Thus, there is a razor thin margin here, where indeed Clinton has more of a chance in a credentials fight than Donna Brazille’s (incorrect) division of votes. With the 25 DNC members, and 26.33 members still to be elected in future primaries, a majority on the credentials committee can be had by either candidate.

The credentials committee will submit their majoity report to the convention floor, which will state who is credentialed and who is not. Further to the DNC rules (in the same document above, Sec VII, B, 2), a minority of the committee composed of only 20% of its membership may submit a minority report, which will be voted on at the convention floor, too.

That is her endgame. She needs the credential committee to seat the illegitimate delegates from Florida and Michigan. For all her bluster about the will of the people, this is all about back-room deals to subvert the will of the people. As she can not make up the popular vote and she can not make up the delegate count, this is what she has left.

If Hillary “wins” the nomination this way, I will have a very hard time voting for her. I left the GOP to get away from this kind of sleaze.

*** Update ***

One campaign watched Florida in 2000 and smiled in admiration at the GOP handiwork:

Unlike Kath, I was largely unable to take photos because my credentials were challenged. Along with the credentials of a large swath of the elected delegates.

After six or so extremely hot, crowded, confusing hours, many of us were unable to determine why, exactly, our credentials had been challenged. The Clinton camp had announced that they were targeting the 23rd district for credentials challenges and, by god, that’s what they did.

By the end, the Clinton folks were willing — hell, eager — to throw out not just random individuals but the entire delegation of 2 precincts. (So much for voter enfranchisement, eh, Hills?)

The protest process was tailor-made for alienating committed voters, wearing them out to the point where they would drop out. By the end of the night, the convention floor was abuzz with tired, pissed-off voters who now hate Hillary with the fire of a thousand suns.

I’m one of them. Thanks for sucking those 10 or so hours away from me, Hills. Love ya. Mean it.

And she never did figure out why her credentials were challenged:

When we tried to check in for credentials, we were told we had been challenged. My name was on a list that indicated that I needed to leave the stadium grounds and head for the junior high across the street where my credentials “would be verified.”

Enormous confusion, three floors of junior-high-school, five rooms, and two computer data-base checks, I was told I had been “cleared” to participate. I got a fresh print and, thereafter, was able to pull my credentials.

It took me four hours to get my paperwork, and another hour to work my way through the crowd, down the elevator in my wheelchair and back to the convention floor. Then, another hour to get my credentials. And I was one of the quick ones.

The one thing I can tell you is that ALL of the challenges were against Obama delegates.

To continue my Iraq analogy from earlier, this is apparently the hearts and minds portion of the Clinton campaign.