Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Tick tock motherfuckers! Tick fucking tock!

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

Han shot first.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

Deploy the moving finger of emphasisity!

Four legs? good! two legs? we’re not so sure…

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Where tasty lettuce and good mustard aren’t elitist.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

Shelter in place is one thing. shelter in pants is quite another.

This blog goes to 11…

How do you get liars to care about the truth?

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

This is all too absurd to be reality, right?

Are you … from the future?

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

Nevertheless, she persisted.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

The house always wins.

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May FSM Have Mercy On His Soul…

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…Because I sure won’t.

Sheldon Adelson is dead.

My reaction to the news:

May FSM Have Mercy On His Soul...

No f**king nil nisi here. His major competition for most destructive asshole (not holding political office) of our time is Rupert Murdoch, with whom he kept common cause.

When (apocryphally) the eulogist at Louis B. Meyer’s funeral asked  “does anyone have anything good to say about the deceased,” the silence was only broken when someone replied, “he’s dead.”

So it is with Adelson.

Also: this is a reminder that democracy needs confiscatory estate taxes. Bad enough that Adelson fucked with our politics so thoroughly and for so long. Why should his heirs to the ultimate generation have the same power?

So: a spit-on-his-grave open thread.

Image: Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, Jane Avril (poster), 1904.

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Artists In Our Midst

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GREETINGS EARTHLINGS.

According to Watergirl, we have already sold 200 calendars, which is spectacular and really going to help out a ton of animals, so thanks to all you magnificent bastards for that.

I’d like to do one of my favorite things on the website now, which is an Artists in Our Midst open thread where you all get to showcase your talents and link us to your stores and shops so we can peruse and purchase. I’ve had several life-changing purchases because of these (some magnificent photographs I framed and are the first thing I see every morning, and Satby’s fucking AMAZING soaps, which I use for myself and send to friends as gifts) so please show off your art, your goods, your singing, and your writing, or whatever it is you do.

Also, please update your info if you would like to be featured on our page!

 

Please copy this to your comment and provide the requested information in this format:

Your balloon juice name (nym):

Do you want your BJ nym displayed with your entry? (yes or *no)

category:

business name:

website URL:

social media URL:

Patreon URL (or similar):

relationship to artist: options are self or spouse

*If for privacy reasons, you do not want your BJ nym displayed with your “Artists” entry, please copy the format above and send your information to me (WaterGirl) by email.

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The Play’s the Online Thing

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Hello, welcome to day 4956 in the hellscape called 2020. I jest, sort of. One of the biggest issues for those of us in the arts, is how to ply our craft under this absolutely ridiculous set of conditions. One of the ways that writing twitter has come up with is Zoom scene studies. What’s a scene study, you ask? Well, some enterprising, brave soul decides to either organize an online Zoom performance of their work or, in the case of one group I have been working with, some outgoing person takes on the task of collecting writers, actors and directors to perform scenes from scripted works for the community. Our little group is called The Thing For AWD because our founder is trying to raise the profile of women directors. Since I know the founder, I accepted the opportunity to direct an episode. Whew. I felt as much stress as my last project. But my hair was flames in my photo.

The Play's the Thing

It’s a very interesting thing to see actors develop their craft in front of you and to  see how different directors bring different techniques to scenes. Artists adapt, unlike me to the lack of block editor when it seems my attempts at inserting html breaks aren’t working, like right now. It’s been fascinating to see how distance learning and performance has embraced tools like Zoom, Twitch, Hangouts or Skype. If you have an interest, there’s probably an activity going on online. Here are a few  cool home options:

I gotta admit, I’m impressed. When I see folks talk about how doomed & fucked we are, I always wonder if they’re deliberately obtuse or just enjoying a good despair wallow. Humans adapt. That’s why we’re a pernicious scourge on every other creature on the planet. We adapt like fucking weeds. We’re life and we find a way. I hope you’re finding a way to connect, enjoy some kulcha and make a little joy in your corner of the world. Know anything interesting, drop it below in thread. I will be narrating the scene setting for the next The Thing for AWD tomorrow afternoon at 4pm PST, so if you feel like watching a scene study for a movie script, sign up to attend. It’s not like we’re out of seats. Open respite thread.

Obligatory artistic cat  pic

Odo yodeling
Odo cat, singing a high note for his on-screen performance

 

 

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Soap Recommendation

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As you know, I am at heart either a bougie bitch or a hippie, or some odd mix of the two, and I buy the majority of the soap I use at the farmer’s market from people who handcraft it. Well, I don’t know what the status of those will be this summer, and I was running low on soap, so I popped on over to our own Satby’s Etsy shop, and picked some out. It arrived today, and it smelled so good I am leaving one bar out in my office.

I also got this great argan oil cuticle stuff, which is nice because I spend so much time using my hands and mani/pedis are out for the near future, and the sleeper was the Lavender lotion. Now my hands smell so good I would date them if they were a woman.

I like soaps and lotions. They make you feel good, they smell good, you take time to slow down and relax and enjoy them while applying/using them, and they are an inexpensive way to treat yourself. Plus, when you know there are no harsh chemicals and crap in them from a manufacturer, you can use them without worry.

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Kannon Recreates a Famous Painting

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satby, aka Grandma Sharon, sent these this morning.
Too awesome not to share.


BARTOLOMEO PASSAROTTI, PORTRAIT OF A MAN WITH A DOG, 1585, MUSEI CAPITOLINI


KANNON (LAST NAME WITHHELD), PORTRAIT OF A YOUNG MAN WITH A DOG, 2020, BALLOON JUICE

*****

Kannon had one of those art projects for school where they recreate a famous painting.  This was his. Great job, Kannon!  Another Artist in Our Midst?

If we’re lucky, Kannon and Pat and Holly might join us and tell us how they made the costume and how they got the pup to sit still long enough to take the pictures.

Open Thread.

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Open Thread: If You Need ‘Inspiration’ to Stay in Your Bunker…

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There Are Bugs - Amber Share

I used some twitter pics of these ‘Subpar Parks’ posters in a respite thread on Saturday, and commentors were kind enough to find artist Amber Share and her website. Much of her stock, you will not be shocked to learn, is on back order. But I’m getting a Sequoia Park print as soon as one’s available, to remind me that sometimes Outdoors is overrated!

From Bored Panda. “I Illustrated National Parks In America Based On Their Worst Review And I Hope They Will Make You Laugh (16 Pics)”:

I’m an illustrator and I have always had a personal goal to draw all 62 US National Parks, but I wanted to find a unique twist for the project. When I found that there are one-star reviews for every single park, the idea for Subpar Parks was born. For each park, I hand-letter a line from the one-star reviews alongside my illustration of each park as my way of putting a fun and beautiful twist on the negativity.

I had been wanting to draw all of the national parks, but wanted to find a way to add a bit of a twist to make it different from the other park illustrations already out there. I stumbled upon the one star reviews online, and the idea just came to me! I came to illustration by way of hand lettering, so finding words I could incorporate into the park illustrations really helped the project come together…

When it comes to my favorite park to draw and it’s review so far I think it was Arches, which is why I did that one first! I don’t really know that I have a least favorite – they’ve all been so fun and different to draw so far and has really made me appreciate the diversity of geography in the US! Yellowstone’s Grand Prismatic Spring was definitely the most difficult, because it was so hard to capture (which makes that review even funnier!).

Sometimes I find the perfect review really quickly, and other times I have to dig through several different review sites before I find the right one. It all depends on the park. I try to avoid any reviews about the park management or upkeep, and stick solely to reviews that have to do with the actual nature, because I think the audacity of criticizing earth is what keeps the project light…

Looks Nothing Like the License Plate - Amber Share

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What We Preserve – Ourselves

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You guys need a break. It’s far too easy to keep obsessing about what’s going on. Frankly, there’s not much you can do besides educate yourself, get others to know what’s happening and text your Senators via ResistBot to remind them there’s a little thing called rule of law and it doesn’t give a damn about whether there’s a republican or a democrat breaking it. Here’s a nice, soothing open thread for you. Enjoy these pictures of random things I’ve photographed. Show off your talents with some nice calm photos.

Oh, before I go. Obligatory cat pic. Plus a verse. And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all. As in, this is a long haul thing, don’t wear yourself out. So sayeth the Lord.

Himesama et Templeton
Sir, personal space, please.

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