Bundy Bunch Update: The Pa-Traitor-ating!


(Worst Episode of Hollywood Squares Ever!)

We have our first capitulation err, um, plea agreement of one of the 26 fine upstanding Patriots charged in the Ammon Bundy led Malheur Federal Wildlife Refuge takeover and occupation. Brian Cavalier (2nd from right, top row), bodyguard for Ammon Bundy and professional tattooist, aka Buddha, aka Booda, aka Booda Belly, and aka The Fluffy Unicorn, now doing business as the Benedict Arnold of the New American Revolution, has reached a plea deal in regard to his charges in Oregon. This agreement does not impact or effect his case pending in Nevada for the Bunkerville Standoff of 2014. Unless, of course, he’s cut a deal in exchange for cooperation. Or has he? Regardless, thanks to JJ McNab’s excellent Twitter feed we can see that the other upstanding Patriots are none too pleased with Boddadict Arnoldbelly’s cutting a deal for a negotiated, reduced sentence.




And for those who really want to dig in and get their Bundy on, here’s the pdfs of the plea document:

800 — Cavalier Plea Document

And the plea agreement:

799 — Cavalier Plea Agreement

Late Night Open Thread: NRA “Share the Safety” Is A Hoax

For which small blessing, many thanks. The NRA has stretched Poe’s Law so badly out of shape, I wasn’t actually sure until Snopes.com weighed in. Here’s the Buzzfeed story from last night:

The National Rifle Association on Wednesday said an elaborate online campaign under its name to give away guns in “at-risk neighborhoods” to “increase the safety” is a hoax.

Complete with a website, press releases, a social media presence, and even spokesman to take media calls, the campaign fooled many online. But the website appears to be an elaborate hoax that copied the fonts and layout of the NRA’s website for the ruse…

The campaign encourages people to purchase a handgun online, then pick a high-crime neighborhood to which another gun will be delivered to “make an underprivileged American safer, while treating yourself to that Smith & Wesson you’ve always dreamt of.”

Whoever it is appeared to have gone to great lengths, and time, to make the campaign look legitimate.

Twitter and Facebook accounts connected to the campaign appeared to have been active for weeks, posting and retweeting gun rights content…

Bettina Chang, at Chicago Magazine:

So, who put all this time into the fake campaign? A cursory search shows that the owner of the ShareTheSafety.org domain name used a privacy blocker to hide their identity. The same goes for NRApress.org, the dummy site where the press release was first posted. (Official NRA websites are registered directly to the National Rifle Association HQ.) Most of the links on the site direct back to real NRA websites, and all the contact email addresses on the site are linked to the ShareTheSafety.org domain.

I called the phone number listed on the press release, and oddly enough, a real human person answered the phone claiming to be “Hensley Cocker,” the self-proclaimed Program Director (“capital P, capital D”) of Share Your Safety and supposed NRA member. In the ensuing 11-minute call, he 100 percent adhered to the conceit of the hoax, claiming the program started two years ago, and detailing how they were inspired by the “activism regarding shootings of unarmed African Americans,” as well as Sandy Hook, TOMS Shoes, and Warby Parker.

When I informed him of the NRA’s vehement denials that his program was affiliated with the national organization, “Cocker” said it was disappointing and confusing. He claimed it was because of a schism in the NRA that had been bubbling up between those who supported Colt or Smith & Wesson. He even quoted Wayne LaPierre’s famous line about law enforcement being “jack-booted thugs.” Finally he claimed a protester was disturbing his launch event at Ronald Reagan Presidential Library and excused himself from the call.

NRA spokeswoman Jennifer Baker denied everything he said. “This is just a complete hoax,” she said. “There is absolutely no affiliation with the NRA.” She outright laughed at the claim of a schism within the NRA between the two gun brands, and she said the name “Hensley Cocker” didn’t ring any bells and that he had no affiliation with the group…

This may leave you with a question: Is it legal to give away a gun for free? Yes. Yes, it is.

I gotta admit, whatever his goals, ‘Hensley Cocker’ nicely jigsawed a very convincing mixture of all-American self-righteousness, well-meant-but-ill-thought-out generosity, and dogwhistled racism.

Quibbling Over the Script

In addition to enforcing Jim Crow, I bet that Nashville restaurant pictured at left also paid its female employees less than the men. It was the 1960s, after all, and women still aren’t being paid equitably 50 years later.

Was John Lewis tacitly endorsing the oppression of women by signifying a desire to eat at that lunch counter? Fuck no. I bet he didn’t even have a hankering for that joint’s particular pot of stale coffee and congealed, lumpy grits. Lewis was doing something much more important than trying to order food: He was dramatizing the unfairness of segregated public accommodations.

John Lewis, genuine American hero, has famously been getting in “good trouble” for longer than most of us have been alive. And now he and the Democrats in Congress are engaging in “good demagoguery.” They are exposing their Republican colleagues as the NRA lickspittles they are.

Mass shooting after bloody, appalling, inexcusable mass shooting have rendered so many of us numb to yet another round of “thoughts and prayers” and inaction on basic gun safety laws that the vast majority of Americans support. If Newtown couldn’t change things, there’s no hope, many of us thought — and still think.

Well, the Democrats are doing something courageous and amazing right now. They are hanging the Republicans’ intransigence on guns around their necks in a simple, visceral way that can be understood even by the people of the land, the common clay of the new West — you know, morons!

The script for this bit of political theater includes the chant, “No fly, no buy.” Should this be understood as a Democratic embrace of the unfair “no fly list”? Nope. No legislation will come out of this protest. The sit-in is political theater that is meant to “dramatize” — as John Lewis carefully put it — Republicans’ refusal to do their jobs.

You’re watching a drama, and a damn good one, with a cast of Democrats who are displaying spine and fire on an important issue as we’ve been demanding for fucking years. You can choose this moment to nitpick the script. But if so, you’ve lost the damn plot, IMO.

Of Course It Is, You Fucking Asshole

These sanctimonious pricks:

Paul Ryan called the Democratic lawmakers’ sit-in Wednesday to protest inaction on gun laws a “publicity stunt,” saying that House liberals were more interested in headlines than solving the problem.

The speaker of the House also told CNN’s Wolf Blitzer on “The Situation Room” that he was not planning on actively fundraising for Donald Trump’s cash-strapped campaign, and that he saw possible agreement between his pro-trade message and Trump’s protectionist sympathies.

But the sit-in that began earlier in Ryan’s chamber earned his scorn.

“This is nothing more than a publicity stunt,” Ryan said, saying House Democrats would infringe on Second Amendment rights and do nothing to prevent terrorist attacks. “This is not about a solution to a problem. This is about trying to get attention.”

Of course it’s a fucking publicity stunt. They are trying to publicize the fact that the house won’t even vote on stuff that 85% of the god damned country wants to happen. They’re trying, in vain, most likely, to shame you shameless sociopathic motherfuckers into doing something.

Not to mention, the Republicans have been sitting on their asses in the house for how many years now? Where’s that fucking jobs bill?

Call Your Damn Senators


The Senate will vote on a couple of gun safety amendments today that were offered by Democratic senators. The Feinstein amendment is to close the so-called “terror gap,” i.e., to make sure people who are suspected of being terrorists or having ties to terrorism can’t go buy assault rifles. The Murphy amendment expands mandatory background checks to all gun sales and improves information in the National Instant Criminal Background Check System.

If you support these commonsense gun safety measures, please call your US senator and let him or her know that. If you think suspected terrorists should be able to buy assault rifles and believe it’s okay to exempt gun shows, etc., from background checks, please don’t call anyone, and don’t leave your home until your mom or caregiver pins a note to your shirt with your address and phone number so you can be returned if you wander into traffic.