May the fourth be with you.
— DW Science (@dw_scitech) May 4, 2018
Were it not for the whole aspiring-agoraphobe thing, I would *totally* show up for this, and I don’t even drink. (But I do love quilt shows, although technically I don’t much quilt, either. ) The Washington Post reports:
Jay Milton, one of the organizers of the inaugural “Run for the Rest of Us race” in Boerne, Tex., wants to make sure of one thing: the air quotes.
Everything about this “race” screams air quotes, in the best ways possible. This event, an affectionate parody of road races everywhere, begins at 11 a.m. Central time Saturday in the town of about 10,000 outside San Antonio and is billed as a 0.5K. Like those air quotes, that decimal is awfully important. This an un-race, a nonevent, a thing for people who like to have a good time and don’t take themselves too seriously. It’s a “race” that will cover 546 yards, running from brewpub to brewpub and, because it’s important to have a sustenance station, there will be a spot to grab coffee, eat a doughnut and maybe smoke a cigarette.
Did we mention free beer? Like, good craft beer and not swill?
The course begins with a free pint at the Dodging Duck Brewhaus at one end of a linear city park in Boerne (pronounced “Bernie”) and ends with another free pint at Cibolo Creek Brewery at the other end. There, organizers write on Facebook, participants can “relive the experience, brag to our friends, compare times, and take selfies to post on social media “I DID IT!!! I AM A FINISHER!!!”…
The idea took off like a bolt, probably unlike most of the participants in this “race,” and the 225 spots, available for a $25 entry fee, quickly were snapped up. Because the event has gotten a lot of national attention, Milton said they could have had at least 500 entrants “if not 1,000.” That would have stressed the brewpubs, though. Milton and his friends focused on finding a charity that worked locally and settled on Blessings in a Backpack, an organization that supplies weekend meals to children who might otherwise go hungry.
There will also be a VIP entry level. For an extra $25, folks can choose not to run, riding instead in one organizer’s restored 1963 VW bus. That organizer also happens to play the bagpipes and will help kick things off Saturday with a rendition of “Amazing Grace.” Another organizer, who is a keyboardist, will play the “Chariots of Fire” theme.
And of course there will be participation awards, medals — or “woods,” as Milton says — that are crafted by another organizer. “This is 2018,” Milton said. “Of course, everyone gets a participation trophy because what would their parents think?”…
Other goodies (we had you at free beer, we know) besides the “wood,” include a T-shirt and a deeply ironic 0.5K oval sticker to proudly affix to your vehicle. The race is being held on Cinco de Mayo, a date that was chosen “as an accident” because it was a good spot on the city’s busy calendar, and “you don’t want to have a race in Texas in the summer,” Milton said. That goes for a “race,” too. There also happens to be a quilting festival that day…
Upgrade for next year: Maybe if enough people pay for a special “eardrums” package, the bagpiper will not perform? At least not until after the beers have been consumed?