• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Nevertheless, she persisted.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

It’s not even safe to go out and pick up 2 days worth of poop anymore.

This blog will pay for itself.

False Scribes! False Scribes!

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

People are complicated. Love is not.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if I ever tried to have some of you killed.

This fight is for everything.

Wetsuit optional.

This is a big f—–g deal.

It was down to kool-aid drinkers and next of kin at the trump White House

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

No one could have predicted…

We can agree to disagree, but i’m right.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn – Nancy Pelosi

The house always wins.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

Everybody saw this coming.

Not all heroes wear capes.

How does anyone do Gilligan’s Island as trump world and not cast Jared as Gilligan?

The revolution will be supervised.

Mobile Menu

  • Look Forward & Back
  • Balloon Juice 2021 Pet Calendar
  • Site Feedback
  • All 2020 Fundraising
  • I Voted!
  • Take Action: Things We Can Do
  • Team Claire, and Family
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • BJ PayPal Donations
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • Nature & Respite
  • Information As Power
  • COVID-19 Coronavirus
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • On The Road
  • Garden Chats
  • Nature & Respite
  • Look Forward & Back

Major Major Major Major

You are here: Home / Archives for Major Major Major Major

Major Major began writing at Balloon Juice in 2018.

Bits and Bobs Open Thread

by Major Major Major Major|  August 4, 20182:37 pm| 128 Comments

This post is in: Books, Cat Blogging, Open Threads

I figured we could use a fresh thread.

I’m headed to New York right now, sort of. My flight is delayed so I’m writing this from the terminal. So here is some miscellany. First, and relevant to me, something that our own Mr. Anderson retweeted.

To all of the haters that said this day would never come pic.twitter.com/BbJ45MZ4Fw

— Ruth Ann Crystal, MD (@CatchTheBaby) August 4, 2018

Second, I picked up an anthology of classic apocalyptic short fiction from the library (This Way to the End Times, ed. Robert Silverberg). It is a fun/dispiriting read. I thought you would all enjoy this striking description from The New Atlantis by Ursula K. LeGuin (1975).

The six o’clock All-American Broadcasting Company news announcer announced that peace was at hand in Uruguay, the president’s confidential aide having been seen to smile at a passing blonde as he left the 613th day of the secret negotiations in a villa outside Katmandu. The war in Liberia was going well; the enemy said they had shot down seventeen American planes but the Pentagon said we had shot down twenty-two enemy planes, and the capital city — I forget its name, but it hasn’t been inhabitable for seven years anyway — was on the verge of being recaptured by the forces of freedom. The police action in Arizona was also successful. The Neo-Birch insurgents in Phoenix could not hold out much longer against the massed might of the American army and air force, since their underground supply of small tactical nukes from the Weathermen in Los Angeles had been cut off. Then there was an advertisement for Fed-Cred cards, and a commercial for the Supreme Court: “Take your legal troubles to the Nine Wise Men!” Then there was something about why tariffs had gone up, and a report from the stock market, which had just closed at over two thousand, and a commercial for U.S. Government canned water, with a catchy little tune: “Don’t be sorry when you drink/It’s not as healthy as you think/Don’t you think you really ought to/Drink coo-ool, puu-uure U.S.G. water?” — with three sopranos in close harmony on the last line.

[…]

The news also said that they plan to halt the tidal waves in Florida by dropping nuclear bombs where Miami was. Then they will reattach Florida to the mainland with landfill. They are already advertising real estate for housing developments on the landfill.

Third, Samwise. He took a liking to my backpack while I was packing last night. Perhaps he wanted the pin, but, having cat feet, had to settle for being near it.

(Yes, I own an Ikea futon.)

Hope everybody has a good Pacific Daylight Time afternoon!

Bits and Bobs Open ThreadPost + Comments (128)

Darkest Night Open Thread

by Major Major Major Major|  August 2, 20181:30 am| 35 Comments

This post is in: Cat Blogging, Open Threads, Shameless self promotion

I suppose now’s as good a time as any for an open thread.

I had a bit of a rough day. Nothing in particular happened; I was just exhausted the whole time. Well–the three-hour meeting probably didn’t help.

Anywho. On the train ride home, I saw a tweet that reminded me of Cole’s Sesame Street thread from yesterday:

my favorite thing about Sesame Street is that everyone’s more concerned about Oscar being a grouch than the fact a vampire lives there

— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) August 1, 2018

…which reminded that I had some quality grimdark cat content to share…

Honour the days to come when man is but a memory. I’m eagerly awaiting those days of eternal void. pic.twitter.com/HTI61WB2EV

— Black Metal Cats (@evilbmcats) August 1, 2018

…and wouldn’t you know it, later in the evening, I had a nice photoshoot with a similar-looking cat:

The one okay part of today, other than this lovely picture, is that I am now a published fantasy author. The magazine responsible is available here; mine is the first story. It will be available free online starting Friday. (Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll find a way to work it into a post then too.)

Caption contest?? And open thread!

Darkest Night Open ThreadPost + Comments (35)

True Crime: Rich Uncle Pennybags (Open Thread)

by Major Major Major Major|  July 29, 20189:53 pm| 68 Comments

This post is in: Free Markets Solve Everything, Open Threads

When I was a kid, we got a big kick out of the McDonald’s Monopoly game. You know, where little plastic tags are on the packaging, and when you peel them off, there’s Monopoly pieces or instant-win codes on them? Anyway. My older brother was convinced that it was a scam, that all of the big-ticket winners were fakes. McDonald’s put them there, the story went, to trick people into thinking that winning was possible.

As it turns out, from about 1995-2000, almost all of the big-ticket winners were fakes, but they weren’t put there by McDonald’s. The chief of security at the company that printed the tags was stealing them, and laundering them through dozens of associates. The Daily Beast has a crazy long-read up detailing the rise and fall of said security chief, the real Hamburglar, Jerry Jacobson.

Before each bi-annual game, Jacobson arrived at the drab Dittler Brothers’ office at 5 a.m to observe their Omega III supercomputer making the McDonald’s prize draw. He watched the printing presses that roared for 24 hours a day for three months, using 100 railroad cars of paper to print half a billion game pieces. . . Jacobson observed technicians applying the “INSTANT WINNER!” stamp to blank game pieces, and pioneered random watermarks that deterred counterfeiters. He locked the winning pieces in a vault behind coded keypads and dual-entry combination locks. It was Jacobson who personally scissored out the high-value game pieces and slipped them into envelopes, before sealing each corner with a tamper-proof metallic sticker. In a secret vest, of his invention, Jacobson transported the winning pieces to McDonald’s packaging factories across the country.

[…]

The 1980s was America’s “decade of greed,” and it was Jacobson’s job to create instant millionaires. Playing God was intoxicating, as was holding a stranger’s fate in the palm of his hands. . . It was a thrill to protect the Monopoly promotion, and only a natural part of his job to consider the system’s fallibilities. But soon the temptation to steal had become irresistible.

One day in 1989, at a family gathering in Miami, Jacobson slipped his step-brother, Marvin Braun, a game piece worth $25,000. “I don’t know if I just wanted to show him I could do something, or bragging,” Jacobson later admitted, but he just needed “to see if I could do it.”

[…]

The judge sent him to jail for 37 months. He did not pass go.

Apparently the reason this didn’t capture our imagination as the White Collar Trial of the Century is that the trial began on September 10, 2001.

It’s well worth a read, if you’re looking for something to pass the time in what’s left of your evening. Me, I have a Scalzi out from the library I need to tend to. Open thread!

True Crime: Rich Uncle Pennybags (Open Thread)Post + Comments (68)

Recommended Reading #1–Bone (+ special guest ruemara)

by Major Major Major Major|  July 28, 20186:00 pm| 253 Comments

This post is in: Books, Recommended Reading

Hello and welcome to Recommended Reading, a new twice-monthly feature where we discuss books that we like, and offer suggestions to others about books that we think they might like.

Today, I would like to say a little something about the Eisner-award-winning comic epic Bone.

Published in installments from 1991 to 2004, Bone is now available in a single 1,332-page volume. It tells the story of the Bone cousins, three Pogo-esque slapstick scam artists who get run out of Boneville. They become separated and lost in a mysterious valley where, as it turns out, a high-fantasy epic war is brewing. There ensues love and hate, laughter and tears, unnecessarily-long homages to Moby-Dick, and stupid, stupid rat creatures!

This is the graphic novel I recommend to people who are looking to get into graphic novels.

show full post on front page

Recommended Reading #1–Bone (+ special guest ruemara)Post + Comments (253)

It’s approachable because it rests on the familiar elements of epic fantasy and the Sunday funnies. There’s obviously much to love if you are already a fan of the form, too. The art is both functional and stunning. Finally, it contains my favorite dragon: The Great Red Dragon, a chainsmoking, world-weary thing with puffball ear fringe.

The overall feel will be familiar to fans of Terry Pratchett. 11/10 highly recommended please read.


We also have a special guest recommender today, one of the only other Juicers known to have met Samwise–ruemara!.

She writes,

  • Dead Boys by Gabriel Squailia – a fairly amazing and complex heroes journey, see review here
  • The Last Policeman – the only police book I want to see made into a series, review here
  • Chew, the graphic novels – weird, gruesome yet somehow fun, graphic novel series about Tony Chew, a cibopath. That means, “gets psychic flash on whatever he eats”. Yeah, a steak can be pretty horrible for him. No posted review for the graphic novels, but here’s a link.

What books are you bursting at the seams to share? Or maybe you’re looking for something to read–please ask, the hive-mind would be happy to help!

(If you go looking for any of these books on Amazon, remember to click through the Balloon-Juice affiliate link to get there.)

Open Thread for Hoomans

by Major Major Major Major|  July 28, 20182:48 am| 41 Comments

This post is in: Cat Blogging, Open Threads, Since We Have A Category For Everything Here Is One for Insomina

First a quick update about the Carr Fire in Northern California. It’s still spreading, and they’ve sent the Global SuperTanker–the world’s largest firefighting airplane–to help fight the ‘absolutely terrifying’ ‘fire tornadoes.’

So stay safe, everybody up North from me. Remember that there’s nothing wrong with evacuating, even if it’s just out of an abundance of caution.

Now then. Samwise the Brave has fallen asleep. Without his supervision, us hoomans are free to do as we please. Open thread.

Open Thread for HoomansPost + Comments (41)

Samwise Open Thread / An Introduction, for the Unfamiliar

by Major Major Major Major|  July 27, 201812:45 am| 122 Comments

This post is in: Cat Blogging, Gamer Dork, Open Threads, The Gay Enemy Within, Blogospheric Navel-Gazing, General Stupidity, Go Fuck Yourself

Hello, my pseudonym is Major Major Major Major, and I am, apparently, a blogger.

As many of you already know, I’m a prolific commenter here. (For those who didn’t know that, now you do.) Recent-ish-ly, I’ve been working with Alain on various improvements to the site. These efforts kept hitting the same snag: developing anything for a system you don’t have access to is terrible. So Alain gave me the keys to the production server. Somebody had the bright idea to give me the keys to WordPress too, so here we are.

I know I’m supposed to say something snarky here, but I really do think it’s kind of an honor, so hey, thanks!

Now. Before you complain about the site in the comments, let me say that we are aware there are many issues. We might even be aware of yours! But BJ is nobody’s full-time job, so, well, you know how triage works.

As for posting, I’m going to keep that light. As Alain mentioned, I’d like to start a twice-monthly series where we can all talk about good books to read. I may do the first one on Sunday. If there’s interest, I may also start a feature where we can talk about video games. Let me know. Finally, I may jump in with a west coast late night open thread on evenings where there’s a need.

Bio and pet pics below the fold…

show full post on front page

Samwise Open Thread / An Introduction, for the UnfamiliarPost + Comments (122)

I’m a web developer in San Francisco with an enormous cat named Samwise and a husband named something else. Generationally, I’m an early millennial, which basically means I’m a digital native but I don’t understand Snapchat. I am on Twitter though, so if that’s your thing, feel free to follow me. It’s mostly art and nerd humor, programming stuff, and the expected politics of a neoliberal shill.

(Speaking of my Twitter account, my identity is obviously not a secret, but my name is very rare and I ask that you not use it here in text.)

I am also apparently a writer, in the sense that somebody recently paid me for a short story, which comes out next Friday. I’m also working on my third novel, which is the first good one I’ve written.

Without further ado: Samwise!

Open thread.

  • « Go to Previous Page
  • Go to page 1
  • Interim pages omitted …
  • Go to page 16
  • Go to page 17
  • Go to page 18

Primary Sidebar

Do Something!

Call Your Senators & Representatives
Directory of US Senators
Directory of US Representatives

I Got the Shot!  (Month 2)
I Got the Shot!

 

🎈Ways to Support Our Site

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal
Shop Amazon via this link to support Balloon Juice ⬇  

Recent Comments

  • James E Powell on Thursday Evening Open Thread: Because It’s the Right Thing to Do (Feb 25, 2021 @ 10:43pm)
  • Cameron on Thursday Evening Open Thread: Because It’s the Right Thing to Do (Feb 25, 2021 @ 10:41pm)
  • Jay on Thursday Evening Open Thread: Because It’s the Right Thing to Do (Feb 25, 2021 @ 10:40pm)
  • Jay on Thursday Evening Open Thread: Because It’s the Right Thing to Do (Feb 25, 2021 @ 10:39pm)
  • Mary G on Thursday Evening Open Thread: Because It’s the Right Thing to Do (Feb 25, 2021 @ 10:37pm)

Team Claire, and Family

Claire Updates
Claire is Home!

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year

Featuring

John Cole
Silverman on Security
COVID-19 Coronavirus
Medium Cool with BGinCHI
Furry Friends

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Submit Photos to On the Road
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Meetups: Proof of Life
2021 Pets of Balloon Juice Calendar

Culture: Books, Film, TV, Music, Games, Podcasts

Noir: Favorites in Film, Books, TV
Book Recommendations & Indy Recs
Mystery Recommendations
Netflix Favorites
Amazon Prime Favorites
Netflix Suggestions in July
Longmire & Netflix Suggestions

Twitter

John Cole’s Twitter

[custom-twitter-feeds]

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2021 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc