Come for the politics, stay for the snark.
ruemara is our newest Balloon Juice writer, and holds the honor of being rolled out as a front pager along with the new website.
rumeara began writing at Balloon Juice in 2019.
The maker of Good Trouble, a giant of a man with a heart that encompassed millions and strength of purpose that forged a path for civil rights – has died. Rest well, sir. You’ve earned it. May we all pick up the work that remains and do as well as he did. Open thread.
I do suggest watching the documentary on him in his honor.
This probably the first, last and only thing I’ll have to say about the Tara Reade issue, largely because I like to let a thing play out, so I can work with all the facts.
The “Me Too” movement was started by Tarana Burke in 2006, to raise awareness not on sexual violence, but on it’s pervasiveness. Because of the nature of the sexual violence & harassment, despite it’s ubiquity, it feels unique. It’s happening to you, to your body, to your mind. And it traps you there. Yet, sexual violence and harassment is pretty much something every woman has experience with and a lot of men as well. We live in a world where corrective rape is a thing, for god’s sake. When the #MeToo movement had a surge due to the hashtag’s use on social media and it’s connection to the Harvey Weinstein case, it really felt like a damn had finally burst and a lot of toxic silence as well as the enabling behavior of people towards powerful abusers was about to end.
Fast forward to 2020 and for a second time, a presidential candidate stands accused of sexual assault. Others have done a lot of work examining the accusation and it’s inconsistencies, so I won’t go into that. What I’m more concerned about is the idea that the accusation is enough to demand that Biden step down and more disconcerting, that investigating the accusation and finding inconsistencies is being a rape apologist. Me Too came about to shine a light on the prevalence of sexual assault & violence, particularly in being heard, believed and to have these crimes investigated so there could be consequences. At least, that’s what it means to me. Has it changed? And what does it mean if we should believe without question?
Interpersonal interactions are not easy to navigate. What one person says and feels will not be what another person says and feels. That’s partially why dealing with sexual harassment has been hard. As we evolve as a society, interactions that were ok by a dominant group to a sub group are now not ok. I’ve had my share of unwanted hugs from people who were huggers and could mandate that as an interaction. Frankly, I’ve always found touchy, handsy people irritating because there is no concept of “this is cool for me, but I should ask if it’s cool for you”. Is it easy to believe Joe touched in a way that Reade didn’t like? Sure. Does that equate to believing he’s a rapist? No. Does that mean her claims shouldn’t be investigated? No. Does it mean it’s impossible it happened? No. In fact, to know the truth of the matter, we must investigate. Whatever details she can provide, her full truth must be heard so we, the voters, can make a decision on whether or not this is credible and therefore, actionable. Yet, I am seeing that the search for the truth means you’re ignoring sexual assault.
Truth is the most important thing to base our decisions on. Truth must inform our actions. And even when those truths are inconvenient, we must listen to the truth. It’s disturbing to see that Biden has been condemned in multiple corners of the internet based on an allegation. It’s even more disturbing that inconsistencies and interference from some of the people who broke the story are being reframed as rape apology. Aren’t we on the left supposed to be focused on facts? If we abandon facts in favor of what we want to believe, then we’re in trouble. There’s also another troubling question. Why aren’t we supposed to ask questions and instead supposed to simply react? I do believe we’re witnessing right now the destruction of our country by an entire party that’s given up on facts, truth and only reacts wildly to everything. How would aping that benefit any effort to stop it?
When I started this, the Eva Murry accusations of Biden ogling her breasts when she as a 14 year-old attended the Gridiron Dinner in 2008 just hit Twitter through Sasha Pezenik of ABC. The accusations fell apart pretty fast, but it’s starting to show a pattern of weaponizing Me Too and the natural instinct to punish sexual predators in power. Today, Jacob Wohl & his partner Jack Burkeman have been exposed in an attempt to take down Dr. Fauci (I beg forgiveness for the Reason link), using emotional manipulation of the accuser, knowledge of her past as an assault victim and plain old cash payments. It’s incredibly typical to take good things, necessary things and twist them so they’re no longer good.
For far too many cases of sexual assault & harassment, corroboration with tangible evidence is not likely. Women have had to have the presence of mind to preserve things like torn clothes, nasty emails, voicemails – you get the gist. And that’s to be believed. Reade’s story seemed like she had corroboration – until we learned that they had been carefully helped to remember. Reade herself has shifted her story, multiple times. From just anger at unfair treatment, to now, a rape charge. But here’s the uncomfortable truth. It could be true. She could be a crook, a fraud, an attention hound and she could be telling the truth, for once. Due to the people who have latched onto it for entirely political purposes, we may never know. That’s the trap. Weaponizing Me Too for political purposes.
Any hope of justice is gone. The waters are too muddied. The people who want to believe Biden is guilty of rape – either because they can’t bear the idea that someone could lie about something as awful as sexual assault for attention or power or perfectly fine with spreading a lie for power – don’t want to hear anything except acquiescence. The people who don’t want to believe Biden is guilty of rape, well, kinda in the same boat. Vox’s latest article covers Laura McGann’s efforts for a year, to get the story from Tara – who maintained in her Intercept interview that no media would talk to her. Turns out a lot of media would & did talk to her. Many of the details McGann took from her initial statements changed. Many of the corroborating people said one thing at first, then updated statements later to match the new story. You can’t take down the powerful like this.
I feel the same knot in my stomach now as when I first heard of this. I’d like to know the truth. I mean, to a certain degree, I am always certain when I’m in the company of the powerful, I am in the company of people who have abused the weak. In small ways, in big ways, but in some ways. I guess I’ve seen a little too much to avoid having such a prejudice, but I acknowledge my prejudice and work to let people exist and judge only their actions. Biden will be fine, whether he wins or loses. I firmly believe if we win the Senate – supermajority style – and keep the House, the Presidency is less important. Disagree with me, I don’t care about that. What I care most about is that some on the left seem to have abandoned truth unless it services their purposes. The Biden story is just the latest iteration. It’s why there’s literally nothing the GOP does that isn’t met with “And Pelosi does nothing about it!”. If you push back on it, you’re a neolib moderate or rape apologist. If you say nothing, it’s tacit approval. We’ve adapted labels to stifle healthy discourse and intellectual approaches to tough issues. And I don’t know where this will lead. No one will bear a consequence for it. Too many factions who use internet bullying and courts of public opinion to control narratives. Controversy itself is a profitable brand. But we must make sure the Me Too movement survives and if possible, make it sacrosanct as a tool for gain. Women, men, non-binary people and all the marginalized groups who fit in those categories need it. It cannot be used like this. It’s too important. Everyone Me Too took down, went down under the weight of tons of evidence. Not flat belief. It took courage, it took persistence, it took years. That’s what the power of Me Too is. A demand to listen, support and investigate so every person is accountable. I’d love to believe this will be the last time anyone, at least on the lefty media side, does this. But I see the same people refusing to hear and I see the right wing media picking up the ball and running with it. All I know is, I’m furious and betrayed. I guess it might just be too much to ask that people stop reading content they want to believe and start reading content that presents enough facts to be believable. We’ll see what happens from here on out. I hope Ms. Reade finds peace, whether manipulated, or conwoman or both. It would be nice if many people familiar to us who immediately were sure Biden was credibly accused of assault said, “Hey, you know, I may have jumped the gun.” That won’t happen, of course. I hope we find the truth as much as we can even, as we focus on the goal of preventing more death and destruction in America. Because truth is worth protecting and fighting for.
It’s Beltane, herald of summer, season of the fire. I must admit, it’s been a bit dark here at chez ruemara. Covid-19 has added more instability to a life that was already akin to riding a unicycle while juggling flaming batons & balancing a bunch of pitchers on my head. I knew a shelter in place order was going to happen, I was just 2 days off in my estimate of when CA would say “stay the hell home”.
I worried quite a bit about Covid, considering the bulk of my known family is in NYC or Florida, better known as Hot Spot 1 and Future Hotter Spot 1, but the first call from my mother still hit me quite hard. Less about the deaths themselves – 3 3rd cousins & a family friend’s sister – and more about the enormity of the devastation we the marginalized were about to go through. It’s hitting African Americans, Latinos & Native Americans the hardest. Because structural racism is all about making life something you survive not thrive in, so you’re far more vulnerable. Had to take a day just to process this point in history we’re getting to exist in. How does one remain calm in the face of genocide (Puerto Rico still doesn’t have power, over 900 days without infrastructure), because you have to deal with brand new even worse genocide kicking into gear? And while the people that died didn’t mean that much to me, they meant a lot to their people. I felt the tragedy of that absence.
Less than a week later, Alain died and that took my breath away. Alain was a lovely human being, filled with generosity. I don’t bring up much here of some of my interactions, but he reached out to offer help to get me setup doing voice work. That’s his nature. Finding out he’d passed… it made me feel like yet another bright light has gone from the world. Then a few days after Alain, I got word my beloved son kitty, Otajamakushi Taifun, wasn’t just having urinary tract issues, he had kidney disease and this could be his last year. Unfortunately, it turned out to be his last week. Another light gone.
And I’m not remotely alone in this. Way too many people are losing their bright lights. People who made their lives better, who made other lives better. Grief is as national a pastime these days as boredom. What is there to do? Wrap ourselves in darkness, fear & anger? The truth is, we’re all bright lights in someone’s life, whether we know it or not. And we share in the work of pushing back darkness. Over 60k people have died as I write this, yet when I’d started thinking about writing this, only 40k were dead. That number is only going to get bigger. Some of the deaths will be in their normal due time, some will be unfortunate happenstance and some will be due to the criminal mismanagement and callousness of our mostly GOP government. What is there to do, when deaths large & small affect our world, except be a light?
We’re going to need each other, probably more than we think. To let the noise and distractions of others fall away and take the work of preserving this country and what’s truly good in humanity. And to take all the time we need to feel joy. Welcome, Beltane. Welcome. We plan to shine brightly for those we’ve lost.
Hola, shelter in placers doing their civic duty and you folks out there on the frontlines, risking your health because we’ve got a malevolent mango at the helm of the ship of state. From clerks to postalworkers to medical staff, you’re the real MVPs and I appreciate you. I’ve been busy getting trained up for my job, which has gone to waste because I’m now on-call. But you gotta make the best of things. No gym, no in office hours, so outside it has been. Happy to not see folks around. Here’s a few shots from the camera training intensive I used my week off on.
I have no real illusions about this time. I’m fairly lucky, I’m in a small town, my employer is not a science denier and I’ve made my health a priority since I fit the bill of at risk. More than likely, I’ll ride out the next few months with minimal issues. Others, too many others won’t. So, do the best you can to protect yourself and your family, then help others, then enjoy each moment as much as possible. It’s actually a luxury many don’t get.
Stay blessed and support each other. I have a long form post knocking around my brain, but I’m writing for a lot of different things with a goal of being stable & housed by 2022 Kwan Yin willing. In the mean time, here’s some shots of Odo & Hime feeling very pleased all the humans are home and available now.
It’s been a hell of a day. In keeping with the rhyming couplet of cattery theme this evening, Odoroki & Hime would like to point out that, really, the downticket races are the biggest thing, so please focus on those. Have a good night. I’m gonna go knock myself out since I have to be at work before 8 am. Open thread for you night jackals.
I’m enjoying the heck out of the Biden win in SC. Based on current reporting, it seems to piss on a bunch of narratives. Like, “young black voters are VT Jesus’ base”. Nope, Joe won those. And, “turnout will be boosted because Bern is in the race”. Doesn’t seem to be happening in this reality.
To me though, it’s amazing that Warren is not at least the close second. It makes no sense. She’s got the right combo of smarts with policies that means she’d be effective. Yet, no. It’d be great if we dealt with misogyny & misogynoir on the left. Plus understood that pundits no longer report – they infect the left with doubt and elevate the loudest yet least effective voices in the room. Volume is not effectiveness. I am not a Warren supporter, for full disclosure. But I’m also not going to ignore a big, nasty elephant in the room. We’re supposed to be better, more reasonable. Yet here we are. I won’t even remotely antagonize a Warren supporter for the disappointment they may feel right now. But I will say, there’s 1900+ delegates to be earned. We don’t know who will get them yet. Support who you think meets the criteria. Support the nom in the general. And get those downballot races worked out too. That’s where the real power is hiding. In honor of women running for office, here’s some music to regroup to. There’s still a ton of delegates out there. Open thread for night owls. I’m going to try to get some sleep or something like it.
There is nothing like helping a friend. Barring it involving moving a body*, it’s usually a sign of Being A Good Person. However… I have learned that this is not necessarily a sign of being a smart person.
A few days ago, I went with a friend to their parents’ house, which is being sold, as their father passed last year and it’s become too much for their mother. To say the family dynamic is stressful is a classic case of “My Culture Has a Case of the British Understatementitis”, so I wanted to be there for them. There was also a car. A car that has sat in the garage for about 3 months and is now an ex-running car. The desire was to jump the car, use it to take beloved furniture back to friend’s own home, possibly eat some pizza in a furniture laden home. The best laid plans, juicers, something something, I got distracted, maybe it was important, maybe not.
Said car is a luxury vehicle. As in, a Lexus. Did I mention it’s a 2017 Lexus SUV? Someone had to stay in the vehicle to steer the non-running thing & someone had to push. Being a clever person, I was not about to steer a car I have no clue about, with friend’s expensive car too close, and possibly lose control, crashing expensive SUV into parents’ house or a neighbor’s house. I’m not saying I’m disaster prone, I’m saying I have a tendency to defy statistics.
So, your pal pushed a 4 ton vehicle about 20 feet. It charged up, was driven back into the garage. It died again. So, I did the feat of strength, again. We did some what was needed, we went back to our respective homes. All was well!
Until… I woke up the next day with the most incredible pain in my left shin, ankle & foot. I’ve been laid up for a couple of days and can only walk moderate distances with a cane. I have no idea what happened, so don’t ask me. It seemed really simple at the time. I did push the thing, it moved, I kept pushing until we had the space we needed. Why my body didn’t signal, “Girl, you crazy? Call AAA!”, i dunno. I’m breaking down the scar tissue and slowly regaining mobility, but that was, in hindsight, probably stupid. But good intentions? Ah, well. I can take loving well, if not wisely. Open thread, laugh at my pain, but remember, I did move an suv.
