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I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if I ever tried to have some of you killed.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

How does anyone do Gilligan’s Island as trump world and not cast Jared as Gilligan?

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

They are all Michael Cohen now.

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This blog goes to 11…

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Militantly superior in their own minds…

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

This fight is for everything.

‘Forty-two’ said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

Nevertheless, she persisted.

Naturally gregarious and alpha

Four legs? good! two legs? we’re not so sure…

This is how realignments happen…

Peak wingnut was a lie.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

Tick tock motherfuckers! Tick fucking tock!

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

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ruemara

You are here: Home / Archives for ruemara

ruemara is our newest Balloon Juice writer, and holds the honor of being rolled out as a front pager along with the new website.

rumeara began writing at Balloon Juice in 2019.

Garbage in; Garbage out

by ruemara|  February 13, 20213:43 pm| 128 Comments

This post is in: Excellent Links, Open Threads

Lock art on a San Francisco wire fence

I fully admit that I was desperately trying to get myself hired in the tech boom of the 1990’s. I knew that things were poised to shift dramatically and I wasn’t about to miss out. Of course, I started in computer programming in the 90’s at NYU. I was well aware of the bro misogyny, the racism etc. But I figured that even with those issues, skill and competence would be valued in the merit based wonderland of Silicon Valley. Well. So here we are, 30 years into the tech transformation of the world and… tech philosophy has created so many serious threats to Democracy across the world that I’m entirely sure we can’t afford to let them believe they are a meritocracy that can regulate themselves.
Today’s article in the NY Times just cements that these are bad people, in a bad culture, with bad leaders. Silicon Valley’s Safe Space talks about Slate Star Codex, a blog that became very popular with the in tech crowd that was focused on Rationalist discourse. And of course, it was bigoted as HELL.

“Slate Star Codex was a window into the Silicon Valley psyche. There are good reasons to try and understand that psyche, because the decisions made by tech companies and the people who run them eventually affect millions. And Silicon Valley, a community of iconoclasts, is struggling to decide what’s off limits for all of us. At Twitter and Facebook, leaders were reluctant to remove words from their platforms — even when those words were untrue or could lead to violence. At some A.I. labs, they release products — including facial recognition systems, digital assistants and chatbots — even while knowing they can be biased against women and people of color, and sometimes spew hateful speech.”

For far too many in the tech world, they are so disconnected and so incapable of viewing minorities as people, they believe discussions on rights, access and equality to be simply a mental stimulation exercise. Even when they themselves are minorities, they align far too much to cis white patriarchy to combat the dangers it represents. To quote a woman who subsequently had to lock down her Twitter account for an obvious truth, Straight Black men are the white men of Black people. That extends to a lot of minority groups. For example, let’s look at what then general partner in Andreesen Horowitz, Balaji Srinivasan, said about doxing a journalist writing for Tech Crunch in 2013 on the links between Star Codex and Silicon Valley –

“If things get hot, it may be interesting to sic the Dark Enlightenment audience on a single vulnerable hostile reporter to dox them and turn them inside out with hostile reporting sent to *their* advertisers/friends/contacts,” Mr. Srinivasan said in an email viewed by The Times, using a term, “Dark Enlightenment,” that was synonymous with the neoreactionary movement. …”

Think about that. A general partner in a powerful investment firm saying that they should dox a journalist to protect their safe space to argue the pros and cons of whether women have the right temperament and intellectual heft for tech careers; if blacks have similar intellectual capacity; that affirmative action is anti-white men.

This blog is now gone. Deleted in the past, as people grew to understand the foul underbelly of Libertarian bigotry passed of as just Rationalist thinking from our best minds that has infused tech around the world. But… just because it’s gone from one space, doesn’t mean it’s really gone. The founder of Slate Star Codex is now on Substack with his old posts under a new name, Astral Codex Ten. I won’t link to it. He’s earning about $250k to do this. Have any of the people involved learned anything? No. They still think that we need to be able to discuss these disruptive ideas. So, neonazis, eugenicists, racists, misogynists should all have a platform so we can have a cozy discussion to weigh points. Except for social justice warriors who keep shutting down all this great rationalist discussion with reality. They need to stay out. Brave new future the tech world is building. Looks a lot like the autocratic past. We need to regulate tech. Fast.

Garbage in; Garbage outPost + Comments (128)

Talk Talk Talk Talk Talk

by ruemara|  December 23, 202012:40 am| 51 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

Hola, jackals. What is this Easter? Arbor Day? I can’t be the only one basically confused as heck about what season – indeed, year – it is. Day 4, 873, 952 of the Trump Reich has broken my time sense. I get that it’s Christmas, but I’m still waiting for summer 2020 to happen and I can’t accept that we’re actually moving into 2021. How dare we.
Yet, this year has been a complete whirlwind. How can being stuck in one place also seem like you’re running pell-mell from thing to thing? Funny. It’s been good to tackle holiday cheer. That’s a nice feeling, the eternal battle to craft the perfect holiday treat. Holidays. A time to fatten your friends and family, that’s what I love.

Unicorn Vanilla cookies, Bulla Bread & BBQ Lamb patties – this years gifties

I’ve also been doing zoom script reading after script reading. You’d be surprised how much narration a good reading requires. Somebody has to set the stage for the actors. I’m doing a little zoom reading of Gift of the Magi and a seasonal folktale or 2 on Thursday, about 3pm PST. If anyone is interested, feel free to shoot me an email for the link. Just doing something fun for people who don’t get to witness a table read. Next year, I’ll be starting a table read workshop focused on giving under-represented minority writers a chance to have their works read/performed. We’ll see how it goes, I’m not exactly a very important person. We’ve nearly made it to the end of 2020. That’s not a bad thing. Obligatory Hime & Odo photos below. No polly ticks! Take a break from the stupids.

2 ridiculously fluffy cats, lounging like the scabs they are.

Talk Talk Talk Talk TalkPost + Comments (51)

So… this is Christmas?

by ruemara|  November 30, 20201:16 pm| 230 Comments

This post is in: Food, Open Threads

Hey, November. Uh, when did you get here? It’s the 30th? How did I miss the whole month? And why does the month feel like a year? This is the longest shortest year in human history. Perhaps it’s the pandemic travel plans that involve making a circuit between the home office and the bathroom with special trips to the outside world for supplies. Just thought if I was going to be stuck in a home, fearful of seeing humanoids during my stealth runs to forage for food, I’d have stolen a nice compound during this zombie apocalypse already. I mean, there should be some upsides. But I digress.

By now I’ve started the gift making and the targeted mailing dates for Christmas. Instead, I’m currently wrapped in a blanket, avoiding work for a bit (lies, a lot). Usually, there’s a ton of cookies and other things in various stages of prep to packaging.

  • who wants?
Jam crafting, the bagging, this year’s pop tart dessert, berry filled cupcakes, the holiday white chocolate cranberry cookies

Instead, it’s just work. I resolve to put this weird year to the side and get some holiday on. Get out the antlers, dust myself with flour! No reason to not hold a space for seasonal joy no matter what. What’s on your Christmas list? Any fave treats we should know about? I’ve got a new recipe I want to develop – fingers crossed it’s edible. This is an open, food porn themed thread. No polly, no tics, no diets. Have at it, Jackals. Also, wonderful to see your lovely faces on the Thanksgiving zoom! Let’s do it again, shall we?

Obligatory Cat Pic: Hime wishes you all well

So… this is Christmas?Post + Comments (230)

I Love It When A Plan Comes Together

by ruemara|  October 30, 202012:08 am| 57 Comments

This post is in: 2020 Elections, Not Politics, Open Threads

Ahh. Let’s go back to last year at just about this time. Picture it, a young (sorta, if you squint) ingenue about to sign away their freedom – I mean, swear fealty to these United States of America that has nurtured and abused- trauma- wait, I gotta think. Made life interesting on a near daily basis for our person. Here’s pictures!

  • I Love It When A Plan Come Together 2
    Registered to vote the same day
  • I Love It When A Plan Come Together
    Getting all citizeny here
  • Making the best choice
  • A real ballot box, thank you

Well, I am pleased to report –

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

  • VOTE ACCEPTED BISHES!
  • Eating a sandwich of RESPONSIBLE VOTING
  • Santa Cruzing
  • Golden Gating

Not a bad birthing day present, using my power to vote. I like to think of us as a million middle fingers raised in a salute to the GOP. And it all happened thanks to you curmudgeonly lot. Here’s an update & open thread. Don’t bust up the joint. Plus, here’s the obligatory smug cats pictures.

  • Hime is pleased to not live with one of Those humans.
  • Odo is concerned you haven’t noticed how good looking he is.
Obligatory cat pics

I Love It When A Plan Comes TogetherPost + Comments (57)

The Play’s the Online Thing

by ruemara|  August 30, 20201:00 am| 25 Comments

This post is in: Artists In Our Midst, Dispatches From the Quarantine, Popular Culture, Something Good Open Thread, Shameless self promotion, The Decadent Left In Its Enclaves On The Coasts

Hello, welcome to day 4956 in the hellscape called 2020. I jest, sort of. One of the biggest issues for those of us in the arts, is how to ply our craft under this absolutely ridiculous set of conditions. One of the ways that writing twitter has come up with is Zoom scene studies. What’s a scene study, you ask? Well, some enterprising, brave soul decides to either organize an online Zoom performance of their work or, in the case of one group I have been working with, some outgoing person takes on the task of collecting writers, actors and directors to perform scenes from scripted works for the community. Our little group is called The Thing For AWD because our founder is trying to raise the profile of women directors. Since I know the founder, I accepted the opportunity to direct an episode. Whew. I felt as much stress as my last project. But my hair was flames in my photo.

The Play's the Thing

It’s a very interesting thing to see actors develop their craft in front of you and to  see how different directors bring different techniques to scenes. Artists adapt, unlike me to the lack of block editor when it seems my attempts at inserting html breaks aren’t working, like right now. It’s been fascinating to see how distance learning and performance has embraced tools like Zoom, Twitch, Hangouts or Skype. If you have an interest, there’s probably an activity going on online. Here are a few  cool home options:

  • Atlas Obscura: Wonder From Home
  • Kev On Stage: Keep Your Distance Comedy
  • Folk Dancing at home Event Calendar

I gotta admit, I’m impressed. When I see folks talk about how doomed & fucked we are, I always wonder if they’re deliberately obtuse or just enjoying a good despair wallow. Humans adapt. That’s why we’re a pernicious scourge on every other creature on the planet. We adapt like fucking weeds. We’re life and we find a way. I hope you’re finding a way to connect, enjoy some kulcha and make a little joy in your corner of the world. Know anything interesting, drop it below in thread. I will be narrating the scene setting for the next The Thing for AWD tomorrow afternoon at 4pm PST, so if you feel like watching a scene study for a movie script, sign up to attend. It’s not like we’re out of seats. Open respite thread.

Obligatory artistic cat  pic

Odo yodeling
Odo cat, singing a high note for his on-screen performance

 

 

The Play’s the Online ThingPost + Comments (25)

Baba, Tell Me A Story

by ruemara|  August 29, 20202:37 am| 76 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

Someone on the Twitters asked who was working on their dream. My response was, “Who dreams anymore?”

This was amazing. @chadwickboseman surprises #BlackPanther fans while they say what the movie means to them. pic.twitter.com/ZXnfLuV83f

— The Tonight Show (@FallonTonight) March 1, 2018

Somewhere, somewhen in the past, I stopped dreaming.
As a child, I did not dream. I had nightmares, but dreams? Dreams are for people who hope & aspire. I had the restful blackness until I woke and that was that. But some things could break through and inspire me. They could touch the spaces inside my soul that had lost any ability to believe in the people or the world I was unwillingly thrust into, that seemed to desire me as a toy to break. Star Wars, Star Trek, if there was a fantasy or scifi element, I could be lost in that world. A world that seemed infinitely more interesting than the banalities of this one. I could be a Jedi and fight beside Luke Skywalker. As a Ranger, I would be loyal & true to Frodo and ensure the Ring was destroyed. I could not prevent the Fall of Nargothrond, but I would gladly rescue as many as I could. There was a small problem. Even in my dreams, I’d still be the sole black person in the story.

You, my fine alabaster to tan brethren, probably grew up with a hero you identified with. Whether it’s The Lone Ranger, Pippi Longstocking, Aragorn, or Alexander Portnoy – you didn’t just decide to participate, you got to see yourself as the hero. You felt that connection, a bond where art and audience don’t just find each other, the art makes a home in you and the story that was told is now a thread of the story of you. I can’t quite say I felt that way about everything. The few black heroes were often busy heroing somewhere off to the side, lesser heroes in lesser stories that didn’t get be as important as the big and Caucasian leads. I wasn’t deterred from desiring to participate in these worlds, but there was a longing I didn’t know I had for faces like mine and voices that could connect me to a group, a dynamic, a heritage. There’s an absence, I think, for some in the Diaspora where we know nothing but the lands we’ve arrived in while dealing with craving for mother tongues we’ve never spoken, dances we’ve never moved to & tales for lands we’ve never seen but within our gene pool we can recognize as belonging to us and also about us. Maybe it’s just me.

Fast forward. I had no desire for Black Panther to be a movie. Sorry, I’m 100% a Storm fan but…Ryan Coogler and Chadwick “I am a very serious ACTOR” Boseman”…? Maybe I’m the only one who appreciated Ang Lee’s Hulk for what Lee was trying to do, and I am always curious when the “serious movie” talent gets to let their [super]freak flag fly. Let’s see how it goes. Besides, I’ve grow up seeing so many “black” movies be done with less budget, get stuck as narrow genre content and worse yet, languish in development because the common wisdom is movies with black leads won’t be enjoyed by anybody really important, i.e. white people. A money losing proposition. It’s also stupid, because who didn’t enjoy Blade? Make a good movie, give us a shot. Common wisdom is sometimes incredibly stupid.

I didn’t know what to expect while sitting in the theater. I knew it was going to be good from the first action sequence and I let out a breath of relief. A good-not-great Marvel movie was going to do well and wouldn’t be a drag on black lead projects. Yeah, I think in movie business, what of it? We don’t really get to just make an error and have it reflect on just use. A notable black person making a mistake in public is a pratfall every black person has to get up & dust themselves off from. It was going to be ok for more like this to be made. And then T’Challa, Nakia & Okoye flew through the curtain of the regular world and descended into the glorious dream of Wakanda. My heart opened up to absorb this dream. This dream of an unconquered Africa. This dream of people who never knew slavery, degradation or abuse. A land where a known past melded with an advanced future. Women of beauty, strength & intellect in positions of power. Presided over by a young king who would put himself in danger for his people, while commanding loyalty due to his compassion and willingness to question what does it mean to be a good man as well as a good king. Every time I watch that movie, I feel myself connecting passionately with it from start to finish. A hero’s journey, but one where the hero starts a hero, then passes through battle and death to become fully human. King Lear, but with spandex & a massive VFX budget.

I remember leaving the theater with my friends and having to think deeply of all the themes and complications. That was a performance! From every star of that film, but Boseman’s T’Challa created a legend for black people. One they hadn’t really been given before. We got our King, we got our Aragorn, WE HAD OUR ARTHUR! We got to dream, in bold, vivid colors, with a complexity that fits the concept of Blackness on this very small yet large planet. The most brilliant thing is, he helped prove that stories that center us, feature us and elevate us, are capable of connecting to the hearts of people everywhere. Which cracks open the door for other actors to bring BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, People of Color) stories to screen. Maybe they’ll get to be sitting at a desk, shaking hands with the fans and seeing little kids and giant kids like myself just dissolve into joy because the character they played meant something and brought a dream to life. I hope so. Chadwick Boseman did film after film after film – while fighting cancer. The little movies I’ve made and worked on were exhausting. The preplanning I did for an action short that covid kaboshed, even more work. I have no idea how he did it. But I think I know why. He had to put all his love for his craft, for his people and for the life he knew he could be leaving soon, into something. And he did. Black Panther. Da 5 Bloods. 42. Marshall. Any of those would be such a great film, no one would blame you for taking the rest of the year off & handing you a damned award. People, he was in more films than just that since 2016. When you know you might have to go, though… it makes sense to take your most precious gifts and make sure they go to the people who need them. I think he did.

The king is dead. Long Live the King. Long live the story that will stay with all of us.

A Big Spandex Jumpsuit to Fill
These are a few of the original costumes used in filming Black Panther.

Baba, Tell Me A StoryPost + Comments (76)

A Small Cup of Tea to You and Me, It’s Our Anniversary

by ruemara|  August 21, 202012:30 am| 69 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads, Joe Biden: President Mr. Rogers, Make The World A Better Place, Manic Progressive

I’m sitting here, eyes watering from smoke inside my home due to the air quality outside. Don’t worry, I’m not too close. Just about 65 miles away. We’ve been an ash covered mess since Tuesday, because much to my surprise, turns out there’s a hecka lot of fires going on Cali. Brilliant, 2020.
But 1 year ago today, there was a momentous occasion. For me, at least.

A Small Cup of Tea to You and Me, It's Our Anniversary
Waiting in line to be sworn in
A Small Cup of Tea to You and Me, It's Our Anniversary 2
Exterior of McClellan Air Force Base Auditorium

 

This was the culmination of something I started a while back and frankly, I wouldn’t have been able to do without you guys here at Balloon Juice, so thank you. It sucked a bit, being there by myself while surrounded by so many happy families, but I like to think I wasn’t actually alone, I had the Juicitariat with me. A year later. How do I feel…? Truth is, I’m as ambivalent as when I started. At least about staying in a country that has done it’s best to demonstrate it does not want me. It only eased things for me by a modicum and the poor choices my fellow citizens made in 2016 is making me incredibly anxious as my most recent contract closes out this month with a pandemic and record setting numbers of unemployed competing with me for whatever jobs are out there. Thanks a lot, asshats of America. But my ethics and plain old comprehension of what an incredibly dangerous situation it would be for America to be the fascist powerhouse the current administration would make it still tells me my choice was the right one – if not for me, then for the good of humanity. I know, some are going to mock such a statement. My one little vote, little voice affecting humanity. Too many messages of individual powerlessness have been fed to Americans. We are very powerful as individuals and as a united team. I believe in that intensely. I believed in that enough to bypass escaping a place I felt held no love and no security for me to make sure that I did some level of work to set this Trumpian mess right. The right thing is always worth doing over the comfortable thing. … Damn, I wish I was less ethical.

A Small Cup of Tea to You and Me, It's Our Anniversary 1

There was a lot of excitement I really didn’t feel that day. And I couldn’t stand a single moment of the pomp, plus, I think Trump spoke, I don’t know, I probably blocked it. For me, it was the start of truly understanding the sort of ambivalence Frederick Douglass probably felt when he wrote, “What to the Slave is the Fourth of July?“. The one friend who managed to meet up after to celebrate probably found me taciturn and surly. Just a lot of feels that day. But one thing gave me great joy and continues to.

A Small Cup of Tea to You and Me, It's Our Anniversary 3

I registered 15 minutes after I was sworn in. I got my first “I voted” sticker this spring and this fall – I will vote for Joe Biden, Kamala Harris and every Dem on the ballot. I have to read up on the propositions – thanks Ballotpedia & League of Women Voters! – but I get to have my say in who runs this overgrown asylum this fall of 2020. I have to design some postcards and get geared up with Postcards to Voters, not to mention sign up to text GOTV, so things are going to get busier as we close onto the election. The fact that I can do this, that pulls me into the happy column. This was the most important thing and I am proud to be here and do this. This country deserves better than Donald Trump and his administration. I may just be one person, one little voice, but I am determined to use all my power as one person and do the work of pulling this nation back on course to be what it’s ideals claim it wants to be. And if we do it, then do it a few more election cycles, well, New Zealand will still be there for a visit.

A Small Cup of Tea to You and Me, It's Our Anniversary 4
Unimpressed

The kidlets did not care about my personal triumph, of course. Ah well. Open thread to celebrate your achievements or whatever, I’m not the boss of you.

A Small Cup of Tea to You and Me, It’s Our AnniversaryPost + Comments (69)

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