Formerly known as Jewish Steel, Alex Smith began writing at Balloon Juice in 2018.

Alex Smith

I Propose a Toast To My Self-Control

by Alex Smith| June 9, 20182:00 pm| 73 Comments

This post is in: Election 2018, Music, Open Threads

I try hard to just enjoy what I enjoy, but my suspicion of both novelty and nostalgia complicates things sometimes. (Yes, I am also suspicious of my suspicions.) So when I listen to albums from the ’90s I try, mostly unsuccessfully, to tamp down on the a-time-and-a-placeness feelings they evoke in me. I had a lot of anarchic, carefree fun in at a time when I might have been better served knuckling down to something serious. Or whatever. No ragrets!

One thing I can state objectively is that albums from that period, the CD era, are too bloody long. I don’t want to hear any band drone on for 50+ minutes. If you think you’ve produced enough good material to fill to brimming all 74 minutes of a compact disc, I assure you you’re wrong. By including the dross you had lying around in the back pages of your lyric book, you’ve downgraded an album that was potentially great to a merely good album. A good album to okay. An okay album to please-stop-already.

But there was a band smack dab in the CD era that did not fall into that trap: Morphine. Their releases all clock in at the sweet spot of 30-40 minutes*. This is the perfect length for an album. Morphine knows exactly how much Morphine I want to hear. Morphine’s first three are also soundtrack albums to my post-college life when I lived alone in what amounted to a garret, one of those lovely old houses they divide into 8 student slum apartments, and tried to figure out how to become a songwriter. Times of high romance! Which makes me a little suspicious of my judgement, as I said above.

I’ll bet you can think of a few albums that are too long. Or maybe too short or just right?

One LP that has been playing long enough is Republican control of Congress. Let’s make that needle dragging sound this November with the fund that’s split between all eventual Democratic nominees in House districts currently held by Republicans.

*except their last which was released after their singer and songwriter died, so gotta give them a pass.

I Propose a Toast To My Self-ControlPost + Comments (73)

I’m Outta Luck, Outta Love

by Alex Smith| June 3, 20182:00 pm| 40 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

I call this photo essay Faces of 2018.

I remember being moved to pity by the woebegone and unfun-looking toys of my parents’ and grandparents’ age. Now, when I encounter the horrid plastic crap of my own childhood I think, “My God! I wouldn’t give this to a raccoon.”

But see? Even the animals of the antique malls of Northern Illinois and Southern Wisconsin are appalled at the choices we are making. There’s only one way to fix this mess. It is obvious to even those whose heads are stuffed with ticking. It’s the fund that’s split between all eventual Democratic nominees (we have a lot of them now!) in House districts currently held by Republicans.

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144,000 Lord

by Alex Smith| April 13, 20182:00 pm| 19 Comments

This post is in: Election 2018, Music, Open Threads

Hey. I haven’t dunned you all week for our prospective Democratic congress-critters. Let’s fix that. I don’t expect something for nothing. Let me share a song from my personal reel of proto-rock songs.

I’m well aware of Louis Jordan, Ike Turner’s Rocket 88 and all that stuff. My list doesn’t just have backbeat-y songs that sound like early rock and roll. I’ve found some early songs here and there that have the energy and spirit of good rock music. Here, just listen:

Isn’t that fine? Maybe you know a few good ones too.

Let’s keep up the good work with 70 most competitive congressional races according to Swing Left.

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This Is What You Get When You Mess With Us

by Alex Smith| April 9, 20182:00 pm| 140 Comments

This post is in: Election 2018, Open Threads, Assholes, Our Failed Media Experiment

I don’t need another reason to loathe stoner contrarian and human jerk-off gesture Bill Maher. But in the Washington Post over the weekend he bellyached over the mean, unfair boycotts the kids whose friends were mowed down in Florida have initiated, particularly the Laura Ingraham boycott. He sees a potential for his ox to get gored, so all his First Amendment hand-wringing is just so much transparently self-interested bullshit. Nothing to see here, really. One thing leapt out at me, though.

Last year, after the University of California at Berkeley canceled Ann Coulter’s speech, citing security concerns, Maher blasted the university.

“I know, we don’t like Ann Coulter’s views,” he said, to audience laughter. “I like her as a person. I’ve never agreed with one thing she ever said…”

“I like her as a person.” Isn’t that nice? What do you like specifically about a woman advocates shooting immigrants? Is she a lot of fun in the green room? Your kids go to the same private school?

I love to see media trolls put aside their differences and come together in mutual contempt for their audience. You see that kind of shit all the time. One of my favorite recurring columns in the dearly departed Spy Magazine was “Logrolling in Our Time.” It documented the gushing prose that celebrity authors would trade back and forth in kind about each others’ mediocre books. Asshole pundits all see themselves as playing for the same team. There’s something about the chumminess of it all that really makes my bile rise.

And you know you’re doing the work of the angels when you earn kudos from Sinclair.

Sinclair embraces Bill Maher in a statement. My statement: nothing says "free speech" like putting your words in the mouths of trusted local anchors and forcing THEM to speak YOUR mind or lose their jobs, while you hide behind ABC's logo. pic.twitter.com/IeK3F0AD9E

— Jay Rosen (@jayrosen_nyu) April 9, 2018

I don’t have a super profound thought here, other than if the Parkland kids can shine a light on what trash these troll pundits are, they’re doing the Republic a greater service than they’ll ever know.

Okay, let’s take a deep breath, admire a fall-time fashion plate pic of Echo…

… and keep the momentum going with the 70 competitive races Swing Left has identified. We got a nice bump on that last post! Good job, y’all.

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Allow Me To Reintroduce Myself

by Alex Smith| April 8, 20182:00 pm| 139 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

I used to advise my students not to name their band anything clever or funny. In the very unlikely event that your band is still together after a year, it will be supremely annoying. Like being told the same knock-knock joke over and over by a six-year-old. In the even more unlikely event that your band actually becomes popular, then you will forever be “the Chumbawamba guy.” Do you really want that on your tombstone?

Jewish Steel was a nym I chose on the fly and based on a joke so laborious that when I explained it to my stony-faced wife…

“You see, there was a band called Judas Priest.”

Yes.

“Well, ha-ha, they had a very popular album called British Steel.”

Okay.

“But instead I called myself Jewish Steel!”

Ah.

And so it is with a heavy heart that we blow “Taps” over a nym that has served me through two administrations. I will henceforth be using my almost real name. It’s what my friends call me. But you guys can use it too (zing!).

I certainly ain’t the religious type, but I prayed one up to whoever would listen on April 23rd of 2005. That prayer went something like, “Please let the number one pick in the NFL draft not become a world-famous pedophile.”

In other news I was a little surprised, perhaps naively, that not one commenter could muster a defense of Bernie in my hypothetical this past week. For what it is worth, I feel the same. I can certainly imagine a redemption arc for Sanders, but it would had to have begun on November 9th with a full embrace of the Democratic party. I’m not convinced my nightmare scenario of a Biden vs. Sanders Showdown of the Superannuated won’t happen. But if he keeps displaying the kind of tone-deafness he showed on MLK Day, he might be well out of the running before things even get started. That would suit me fine.

In Jewish Steel’s honor, and all that he stood for, let’s raise a little money for Swing Left and the 70 congressional districts they consider competitive.

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If You’ve Got a Blacklist I Want To Be on It.

by Alex Smith| April 7, 20184:30 pm| 132 Comments

This post is in: Dog Blogging, Election 2018, Open Threads

I’ve only been thinkfluencing here at the ranch for a few months, so I might not make the grade.

Meanwhile, the United States government, traditionally one of the bastions of press freedom, is about to compile a list of professional journalists and “top media influencers,” which would seem to include bloggers and podcasters, and monitor what they’re putting out to the public.

Great! Nothing nefarious to see here. Move along, folks.

If you would like to see more robust congressional oversight of these agencies, I think you know how to get it. It’s with the fund that’s split between all eventual Democratic nominees in House districts currently held by Republicans.

Update: Echo is feeling better.