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Call the National Guard if your insurrection lasts more than four hours.

Shocking, but not surprising

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

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I swear, each month of 2020 will have its own history degree.

This is how realignments happen…

‘Forty-two’ said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm.

Peak wingnut was a lie.

There’s some extremely good trouble headed their way.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

Yes we did.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

This really is a full service blog.

I’m only here for the duck photos.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

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Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

How does anyone do Gilligan’s Island as trump world and not cast Jared as Gilligan?

I can’t take this shit today. I just can’t.

No one could have predicted…

People are complicated. Love is not.

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

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John Cole

You are here: Home / Archives for John Cole

John Cole started Balloon Juice early in 2002. Those who have followed along know that this has been quite the journey.

An amusing test to check

by John Cole|  January 5, 20025:26 pm| Leave a Comment

This post is in: Open Threads

An amusing test to check your nerdity quotient that I found on The Adventures of AccordionGuy in the 21st Century.

Favorite questions:

Is your outfit uncoordinated? (have someone else evaluate this)

-and-

If you are still reading this test, do you really need a test score to prove you are a nerd?

For what it is worth, I scored a 45.2%. Thank goodness I know nothing about Star Trek.

An amusing test to checkPost + Comments

Joshua Bittker over at

by John Cole|  January 5, 20024:33 pm| Leave a Comment

This post is in: Open Threads

Joshua Bittker over at Smarterpundit is confused and a bit testy about the price of his science journals. Here is Josh’s main argument:

A subscription to Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences is much more expensive than a subscription to Time, by a margin of $225.00 to $24.95.

To help Josh, I have posted this link for him, which may help. The relevant info is:

“Economies of Scale-These occur when mass producing a good results in lower average cost. Economies of scale occur within an firm (internal) or within an industry (external).”

Joshua Bittker over atPost + Comments

Got the Matt Welch link

by John Cole|  January 5, 20021:20 am| Leave a Comment

This post is in: Open Threads

Got the Matt Welch link up. You really need to read this guy. Think P.J. O’Rourke on the left.

Got the Matt Welch linkPost + Comments

Ten Second Movie Reviews, a

by John Cole|  January 5, 200212:43 am| 1 Comment

This post is in: Open Threads

Ten Second Movie Reviews, a service of the Curmudgeon’s Corner:

Planet of the Apes– Time flew by like I was hitting my big toe with a hammer. New Kids on the Block still suck.

Tomb Raider– Less pleasant than showering in prison. Wished I had spent the time necking with my brother.

The Mummy Returns– Made me want to take a coat hanger to someone.

Someone Like You– Chick Flick. Drink heavily before your girlfriend gets there.

Ten Second Movie Reviews, aPost + Comments (1)

I swore I would not

by John Cole|  January 4, 20026:44 pm| Leave a Comment

This post is in: Open Threads

I swore I would not mention the Cornell West thing. All I did was label him an idiot, employing my favorite fallacy, the ad hominem, to instead sum up my argument . This is in part out of contempt, but mostly sheer laziness. Although, I am not sure if it is an ad hominem if someone realy is a bleeding idiot and you correctly identify them as such. When little kids call an apple an apple, we get excited. Is there really much of a difference? Plus, I downloaded about 30 seconds of the streaming nonsense from West and was thrown into convulsions. Fortunately, the web is full of individuals far less lazy than I am, and some are even paid to write nasty things about people. Rod Dreher qualifies on both counts. Check out this morsel, then read the rest for yourself:

From the disc’s opening lines, you know you’re in the presence of something unusually bad, but it takes a minute or two for the full scope of its Shatnerian shlockiness to make itself known. If you’re like me, then by track four, sticky gobbets of schadenfreude will be coming out your nose and dribbling down your chin. And you’re only halfway done!

At least West’s website has more typo’s and misspelled words than the Corner.

I swore I would notPost + Comments

Andrew Sullivan has some interesting

by John Cole|  January 4, 20022:50 pm| Leave a Comment

This post is in: Open Threads

Andrew Sullivan has some interesting info about the GOP candidate for governor in Massachussetts. Good news if you ask me. The right needs to get over this damn homosexuality problem. I have long felt that both modern Repubs and Modern Democrats spend too much time intruding in people’s lives. Republicans want in my bedroom to make sure I am not breaking sodomy laws, Democrats want in my bedroom to put those goofy handicapped bars around my toilet and to make sure my bed and desk are OSHA compliant. Both of them need to back off, and if Sullivan says that guy is a good candidate, he has my qualified support (as if a West Virginian has any say in Mass. state politics.).

Andrew Sullivan has some interestingPost + Comments

Safety Nazi Alert: I was

by John Cole|  January 4, 20021:46 pm| Leave a Comment

This post is in: Open Threads

Safety Nazi Alert:

I was opening my club soda about an hour ago, when I found this helpful warning on the bottle;

Warning! Contents under pressure Cap may blow off causing eye or other serious injury. Point away from face and people, especially while opening.

No instructions were given on how to drink from the bottle while pointing it away from my face, however. Thank you, Canada Dry Legal Department.

Safety Nazi Alert: I wasPost + Comments

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