I tried to watch and after about two minutes of lying I had to turn it off. He’s just awful. I can not wait until he is dead so I can go piss on his grave.
John Cole started Balloon Juice early in 2002. Those who have followed along know that this has been quite the journey.
Imagine What If
I posted this on twitter, but it is worth repeating. Imagine if, in 2018, President Hillary Clinton had withheld military aid from Israel because she thought Donald Trump was going to run against her in 2020, and she wanted them to announce an investigation into Ivanka and Eric’s business dealings to smear their dad. Whether they do an investigation or not is no matter. On top of that, she fired the ambassador and worked against American foreign policy to achieve that personal goal. And then when caught, refused to comply with any congressional subpoenas and refused to allow anyone to testify. How many Republicans would be saying “No big deal?”
Because that is just scratching the surface of what Trump did.
I’ve Been Depressed
Gerald and his wife are at a work Christmas party, so I got to play Uncle Buck tonight and I took to this dive spaghetti bar in Steubenville called Naples. They all got hoagies that were the largest most ridiculous things I have ever seen:
Her order was the “half” hoagie- what she is holding is a quarter. It’s just absurd. I got physically ill watching the boys eat their entire dinner. I would be full for two days and I am a fatbody.
***
At any rate, if you haven’t been able to tell by my lack of posting and my diminished wit, I have been in a funk the last few months. I get depressed in the winter every year, but this year has been particularly bad. It’s just so harsh- you go from everything being green and lush to just damp, dark, and depressing. Even my house plants look like shit. Then you add in the rest of the usual shit we go through, work, worrying about money, the health of your parents, etc., and I just go into a funk. And then there is the website.
On top of all this is just the never-ending barrage of shit in the political sector. It’s just overfuckingwhelming. Every god damned day it’s something new and worse than the day before. It just never fucking ends. It wears you down.
I’ll be fine, of course. But I do worry about some of you out there who may be going through the same thing but aren’t willing or able to get help. Please do so. Talk to someone- talk to a professional. I don’t have anything else more helpful than that other than to stay hydrated and get some exercise, but definitely talk to someone.
Harumph.
Site Maintenance Update
The website is being moved to a bigger server with twice the processors and 1.5 times the memory. We’re still 2-3 times as fast as the old site prior to the relaunch, but they want to move us to a bigger one. What that means for all of you is that the server will be down for a spell (30 mins to an hour) this evening after ten pm.
So don’t freak the hell out.
Amash
What do you all think of the idea being floated about the Dems choosing Justin Amash to be one of the House Impeachment Managers?
Do The Right Thing
I said this earlier on the twitter thing, and I want to say it here:
Even if he is not convicted in the Senate and even if Dems pay a political price, impeaching Trump is the right thing to do because he’s a criminal who broke the laws. When everything is as broken as it is now, all you can do is do the right thing and hope for the best.
— John Cole (@Johngcole) December 13, 2019
And I believe that. I liken the US right now to a town razed by a hurricane. If you look around at the incalculable damage, it is easy to get paralyzed into inaction because everything is so fucked. You can’t sit around and worry about what is going to happen, or if things are going to get better, or if things will be back to the way they were. You just can’t. So you just pick a spot and start cleaning up and rebuilding. You do it because that is just what you do and all you can do.
Normally, in America, this is when we rely on our institutions. Unfortunately, all of our institutions are shaky, incompetent, and suspect, but they are still all we have. So when a lawless President crimes his way through the constitution, you just do what you can. You lay out the evidence, you impeach, and you hope for the best. You don’t concern yourself with what might happen or stuff like that. You just do the right thing.
I’m very proud of the way the Democrats on the Intelligence and Judiciary Committees handled themselves the past few weeks. I haven’t been embarrassed by any of them, and I am happy to call myself a Democrat. The only thing we can do is to keep moving forward. Keep putting one foot in front of the other, keep donating and working to get better candidates in office, and just hope for the best
How Did They Do It?
One of the things that continuously amazes and depresses me is the success with which right wing politicians and media have successfully brainwashed millions of people. Every now and then a high school friend will post something obviously wrong on facebook, and you correct them WITH multiple sources, and they either don’t care and say they still believe it and then lash out at you. It’s crazy.
This time it was about a piece of commentary on Fox News alleging Dems had blocked a VA health care bill last year (they had, because it was an attempt to privatize the VA and then two months later an actual VA bill was passed), and the people were screaming PARTY BEFORE COUNTRY and how much they hate Pelosi and what not.
They’re all so angry, scared, and hostile, and will just believe anything FOX or the proper news source will tell them, and they just get livid with you for telling them that is not the truth. And it is always people who, in another lifetime, never had political opinions- but now they are just livid at the supposed enemy all the time, over made up grievances. And then they go out and actually reward the people screwing them and elect Republicans. Who just make up more lies.
I don’t know how to break the cycle of willing ignorance.
Look Ma, a Metaphor
America, fuck yeah:
Video footage shows the moment two women buying a rifle failed to notice a baby falling off the shop counter.
The customers can be seen admiring the gun inside a pawn shop while the infant sits on top of the glass counter beside them.
But while they are busy talking to each other, the shop assistant behind the counter leaps forward and tries to grab the baby as it slowly topples head-first towards the ground.
Luckily store manager Bill Reel noticed the child seemed “unsteady” and raced forward to catch it just before it hit the concrete floor.
The younger woman can be seen clutching her hand to her chest in shock as the father-of-four hands the baby to the other woman, believed to be the grandmother.
A little heavy-handed as far as metaphors go, but I’ll allow it.
This kid has no fucking chance they should just allow the clerk to keep it.
Must Be The Season of the Witch
I’ve noticed in the last few weeks a real uptick in the attacks on the Democratic nominees, and I don’t know if it is just the usual mania that happens in every primary, bitterness from supporters whose candidates have already dropped out, or ratfucking from the far left and/or Republicans. I expect some degree of the all of these, but I don’t know the extent of the last.
It’s dispiriting, to me, at least, because other than the crazy aura lady and that cultist from Hawaii, I’d vote for every single one of the Democrats remaining- even that Elon Musk like guy whose name escapes me at the moment. Obviously I have have my favorites, but really, anything is better than the current crisis. I dunno if I am just numb and nihilistic, removed from the process because WV votes so late and is inconsequential anyway because of our size and the fact that we will go for Trump regardless, or stupid, but everything for me is the general election. They’ll all be fucking fine compared to Trump.
There Is No Penalty for Lying
you're a fucking liar https://t.co/CJvrx9P5Db
— John Cole (@Johngcole) December 9, 2019
Republicans have learned over the past few years that they can simply lie about everything and there is no penalty. The media won’t correct them, and if they do, they will just go to friendly media outlets. Their followers won’t punish them- they will just repeat the lies. Their peers are out there lying with them. And the voters can’t correct the situation, because the Republicans have rigged their districts to the point that you can be charged with multiple felonies and you’ll get elected anyway (see Duncan Hunter).
I honestly don’t know what can be done about this.
Greetings From the Middle of Nowhere, Virginia
So this morning I popped up, drove from Charlotte to Charleston, SC, and got my car and my parents care unloaded and the folks settled in. They went off to a bar to watch the Steelers game, and I hopped back in the family truckster and headed north so I only have half the drive to do tomorrow.
I know it takes a lot of balls for someone from WV to say they are in the middle of nowhere, but right now I am in the middle of fucking nowhere and the only dining option was a Snickers bar in the vending machine or a waffle house. I have never been to a Waffle House, so I went. I got the chili with extra raw onions because I hate myself, and an omelet and some hash browns. It was precisely what I expected- hot and greasy and salty, I am full, and I will probably have the shits tomorrow.
In other news, we are slowly getting some ads installed and in the right places. Bear with us. This god damned blog will pay for itself.
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Boiled Nuts
Made to the island, and am now sitting outside at a cafe waiting for lunch and waiting on my parents to get to the rental so I can unpack their car and then head back north to home crap home. Stopped at a gas station this morning, and they proudly offered boiled peanuts with multiple seasonings.
WTF people, why are you boiling your peanuts?
Speaking of boiled nuts, this is the first campaign billboard I have seen this election cycle:
Apparently either Tulsi has a following outside of Columbia, SC, or the Republicans are trying to ratfuck the primary. Either is equally possible, because South Carolina.
COMING TO YOU LIVE FROM THE CITY OF CHARLOTTE, NC
Currently sitting in a hotel in an undisclosed location somewhere in the city of Charlotte, NC. It’s been seven years since I was last here (not counting driving through it on the highway to get to destination farther south), so I think most of the warrants have expired. Not sure if that is the case for AngryBlackLady, but she is on the west coast and they’ll never catch her, the coppers.
At any rate, I am here because I am helping my parents transition to their winter place down in South Carolina. It’s just too much for them and the dogs to go the full distance in one day, so we stopped here. Tomorrow we will finish the drive, unpack, and then on Monday I will return back home to my lovely critters.
I was going to bring Lily with me, but when I asked her this morning if she wanted to go for a ride, she woke up long enough to lift her head, look at me, and then fall back asleep, so I just left the old gal at home. I also thought about taking Thurston when Lily said no, and then immediately thought “WHY WOULD I DO THAT TO MYSELF?”
So I am alone in a room with the tv off and no animals, and the sensory deprivation of it all may mean I will be in bed by 9:30. And I am ok with that.
COMING TO YOU LIVE FROM THE CITY OF CHARLOTTE, NCPost + Comments (92)
Pet Calendar and In Memoriam
Just a reminder to submit your pet pictures for the Balloon Juice Pet Calendar 2020. You can click the link to the upper right that says “Pet Calendar Info” and get the full rundown on how to submit. Get them in soon so we can get cracking!
Also, I thought that this year, in the pages prior to the start of the calendar, we would have an In Memoriam for those we have lost. So if you have a favorite comment or memory about General Stuck, efgoldman, greennotGreen, Scotian, schlemazel, or any others, please place them or link them in the comments below. I will then go through and pick out a few and we will include them in the calendar so that when you get it you can look back fondly on their memories. As a bonus I can spend the next six months dealing with angry emails from people whose memory was not chosen because that’s how we roll on this shit website where no good deed goes unpunished you insufferable pricks.
Update: On a computer or a tablet in landscape mode, you can click the link in the upper right that says “Pet Calendar Info” and get the full rundown on how to submit. On a phone or on a tablet in portrait mode, you can find “Pet Calendar Info” under the 3 horizontal lines, aka the hamburger.
George Zimmerman Strives to Out Asshole POTUS
Man, fuck this guy:
George Zimmerman was acquitted in the fatal 2012 shooting of Trayvon Martin, but according to a lawsuit filed Wednesday in Florida, he believes there was a conspiracy to frame him and wants $100 million in damages.
Attorney Larry Klayman announced the lawsuit in tandem with a Coral Gables screening of a documentary titled “The Trayvon Martin Hoax,” which has since been canceled. Zimmerman was scheduled to appear alongside Klayman at a Thursday news conference, but hours later, Klayman said the news conference was canceled, too.
The chief allegation in the lawsuit is that civil rights attorney Ben Crump helped to swap out a reluctant witness, Brittany Diamond Eugene, for her half-sister, Rachel Jeantel, and helped prepare her to deliver a script intended to land Zimmerman in prison for the 17-year-old’s killing on February 26, 2012. Crump began representing Trayvon’s parents starting February 28, 2012, the lawsuit says.
First off, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU FRAME SOMEONE FOR MURDER WHEN THEY CLAIMED SELF DEFENSE?
Second, fuck this guy. Guy murdered a kid for being black in Zimmerman’s neighborhood while he was playing cosplay cop, got away with it, then auctioned off the gun he used to execute the kid for 150 grand, and then followed that up by being a general scumbag and public menace all while profiting off his art work.
George Zimmerman Strives to Out Asshole POTUSPost + Comments (70)