Really, Living Social and Yacht StarShip?
I eagerly await the Donner Party-themed mountain trek and picnic, the Hindenburg zeppelin tour, etc.
(Please consider this an open thread.)
Florida woman, boxer wrangler and football hooligan currently deep-fat frying something in a humid swamp somewhere.
Betty Cracker has been a Balloon Juice writer since 2012.
It’s a good thing this poorly camouflaged critter lives in my oak tree instead of the fictional setting of the Hunger Games, where he might have fallen under the pitiless gaze of movie huntress Katniss Everdeen. She would have put an arrow right through his little eyeball.
Speaking of those who are hard on the little things — the gentle, helpless creatures — it appears Herman Cain is still pretending to be relevant in the public arena (possibly as an excuse to get out of the house and escape the baleful gaze of Mrs. Cain). He has ads out that depict an adorable bunny being hurled upward and shot-gunned out of the sky and a fish being slowly suffocated to death to protest the stimulus. It’s such a pressing issue these days, you know.
Also, according to a CNN breaking news alert, a CNN/ORC poll finds that “nearly 75% of Americans” think George Zimmerman should be arrested for shooting unarmed teen Trayvon Martin to death. I’m guessing the precise number will turn out to be 73%. Maybe the 27% are the Orcs who were polled?
Please consider this an open thread.[Cross-posted at Rumproast]
Daisy does not like baths.
Last night I took a pack of screechy teens to see “The Hunger Games.” Meh. I had read the book, and I kept wondering how much sense it would have made to someone who hadn’t read it. Fortunately, it seems most in the packed theater had read it, so the lack of character development wasn’t an issue. Plus, there were hawttt boys.
Today I’ve got to take the kiddo to the ball field for team pictures, then to an away game, where I must keep score. I’m getting pretty good at it, though there are some who question my tentativeness about assigning errors. I say unless it’s a really boneheaded play, the kid doesn’t get an error. Those who disagree are free to keep their own scorecards.
Jesus God, Newt Gingrich is a despicable motherfucker. If I were Queen of the World, I would order him lightly scored with rusty pitchforks, dipped in sulfuric acid, rolled in a bed of broken light bulbs, stuffed into a cannon and fired into a toxic waste dump.
What are y’all up to today?
God, I hope this is true. Balloon Juice commenter Dave:
Sweet baby Jesus, you can’t make this stuff up.
Jason Mattera, on behalf of the Breitbart Babies, ambushes Bono of U2 to grill him on why he hides his taxes. Except Mattera interviewed a Bono impersonator instead.
UPDATE: Video after the jump…
As GOP sage Sarah Palin recently noted, President Obama and his terrorist pals were allowed to waltz right into the Oval Office unscrutinized in 2008 while
white people Republicans like Ms. Palin were pelted with gotcha questions such as, “What newspapers do you read?”
Andrew Breitbart vowed to address the blatant unfairness of this situation by subjecting all
African-American Obama Administration officials to a thorough vetting. After Breitbart’s untimely death, his underlings — the Breitbrats — announced that they would continue Dead Leader’s legacy by presenting an occasional series entitled Negros Said the Darnedest Things On Video in the 90s The Vetting.
After revealing 10 days ago the scandalous footage of a young Barack Obama hugging a black Harvard Law School professor back when Phil Collins was king of the Billboard Hot 100, Breitbrat Joel Pollak unleashes another bombshell sure to rock the Obama Administration to its very foundations. Attorney General Holder was caught on tape intimating that it might be a good idea to convince young people that it’s not cool to “pack heat” or whatever quaint expression they used back when Boyz II Men topped the charts:
“What we need to do is change the way in which people think about guns, especially young people, and make it something that’s not cool, that it’s not acceptable, it’s not hip to carry a gun anymore, in the way in which we changed our attitudes about cigarettes.”
Translation: jack-booted DoJ thugs will kick down your door to collect your shootin’ arn in 3…2…1…. Stay tuned next week, when sinister Obama consigliere Valerie Jarrett will be revealed as the winner of the 1992 Black Panthers Ladies Auxiliary Brownie Bake-Off!
Back in the days before you could just plug an iPod into your car stereo, we used to listen to CDs. On one family road trip (with dogs riding INSIDE the vehicle), I was playing DJ, and my daughter, who was about four years old at the time, asked to hear the “Hungry Mom Song.” We had no idea what song she meant, but after getting her to sing a few bars of it, we realized she meant Bob Marley’s classic, “Them Belly Full.”
Them belly full but we hungry.
A hungry mob is a angry mob.
The poor kid mistook “mob” for “mom.” We laughed our asses off. There are entire sites devoted to misheard song lyrics, of course, but I never tire of the topic. What’s the funniest one you’ve ever heard? Open thread.