Entries by Betty Cracker

TRESemmé Mucho

Life as an iconic hairdo isn’t as glamorous as media depictions would have you believe. Take the sad case of the self-contained hair-pod that resides on the noggin of the third Mrs. Gingrich. If you only knew what those titanium tresses have had to endure. Crushing ennui brought on by endless rubber-chicken circuit events. Listening […]

Useful Images

Angry DougJ is definitely onto something with this “useful idiots” idea: One of the great victories of conservatism was framing every debate as the real, Tebow-fearing Murkins versus the dirty hippies who spit on soldiers. Is there anyway the left could try to do the same with banskters and bankster fanboys? A few months ago, […]

Kristol Lite

All English-language software should be equipped with a mechanism that prevents these particular words from being presented in this sequence: Users who stubbornly attempt to evade the safeguard should have their hard drive erased. Jesus. I get that the Republicans are in despair over their sucky presidential slate, as well they should be. But this […]

Florida, Florida, Florida

The Romney PACs bought up scads of TV time here in Florida during the playoff games yesterday to let GOP primary voters know what a scuzzbucket Gingrich is. They had an interesting spin: that the president is behind the Gingrich surge and that Newt is pals with Nancy Pelosi, Al Gore and Freddie Mac. Will […]

Rampaging Honey Badger Mars Sparsely Attended Pro-Walker Rally

WAUWATOSA, WI (January 21, 2012) – A giant, mutant honey badger disrupted a rally organized to show support for embattled Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker, charging into the small gathering and slightly injuring at least one attendee. The unusually large carnivore, estimated to weigh 15 tons, struck without warning, terrorizing the fives of Wisconsinites who had […]