We were warned about the dangers of the gay bomb, but we did not pay attention. We should have:
Soldiers manning a checkpoint near Baghdad stopped a wedding convoy to find that the purported bride and groom were wanted terror suspects, an Iraqi Defense Ministry official said Monday.
The Army set up the checkpoint last week in the Taji area, about 12 miles (20 kilometers) north of Baghdad.
The soldiers became suspicious of the convoy because its members — save the “bride” — were all male and because one of the cars in the convoy did not heed orders to stop, the official said.
Also, soldiers said, the people in the car seemed nervous and the groom refused to lift his bride’s veil when soldiers asked him to, according to the official.
Soldiers ordered everyone out of the car, the official said.
Upon inspecting the convoy, soldiers found a stubbly-faced man, Haider al-Bahadli, decked out in a white bride’s dress and veil.
All is not lost, however, as there is no doubt the Iraqi ministry in charge of tallying the numbers of Iraqis returning to Baghdad were thrilled to count the proud couple and their wedding party.
Nash
Saw the title and thought you were getting in early on the Senator Lott story. My bad.
HyperIon
I was just reading the NYT article. As usual, it’s a lot more complicated than “46,030 Iraqis returned last month”.
Mentioning that this is the number who came over the border in a particular direction and that they are not counting the number going in the opposite direction is enlightening. Also if it’s the poor folks returning because they have run out of money…very sad.
demimondian
Does anybody really buy the story that got Lott-hot-to-trotted out today? I don’t — I think it’s a smear.
And I say that as someone with an nearly undying distaste for Trent Lott, whom I see as a hypocritical, authoritarian monster.
jake
Tip for the splodey-dopes: Before you drag race past a check point – Shave.
The clock is ticking:
How long until this story works its ways through the eternally churning bowels of Wingnuttistan and comes out as “OMG! GAY PEOPLE R SNEAKING IN THE COUNTRY 2 KILL US!”
I give it 24 hours, max.
Jen
Possibly a new Conservapedia entry “Homosexual and Islamofascism”
Nash
Actually, demimo, yes, I think with the timing of his stepping down, it is not only highly “buyable”, it’s probable. As they say, time will tell. That means, oh, about a week. I’m patient enough, how about you?
jcricket
I doubt it’s true – as John at Americablog has pointed out the sourcing blog has a credibility problem, and the source himself has said it’s false.
Could be other reasons Lott is resigning, but it’s doubtful this was the reason.
Of course I’ve been wrong before. I seriously doubted you’d actually have a homosexual hooker scandal with both Haggard and Curtis (in WA). Sounds too fantastical to believe.
gypsy howell
Sounds like they got off pretty easy. I thought it was SOP for us to gun down wedding parties in Bagdad.
jcricket
If someone said 3 years ago that we’d have GOP sex/gay scandals involving 7 different cases (Jeff Gannon, Ted Haggard, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, David Ritter, Richard Curtis, Matt Sanchez – that’s all I could think of off the top of my head) you’d have been laughed at (and banned on RedState). Add to that the corruption and bribery scandals still waiting their full day in court/the press (Abramoff, Stevens, Cunningham, Wilkes, Cookie/Buzzy).
Enduring majority my ass. Enduring scandal fodder, most definitely.
Notorious P.A.T.
Also if it’s the poor folks returning because they have run out of money…very sad.
I’m sure none of them were going back to Iraq to kill people.
Tsulagi
Those Iraqis are becoming more Republican every day. Next they’ll be searching ebay for wetsuits.
jake
Vitter.
Bob Allen.
Glenn Murphy, Jr.
Jim West.
Crap. I can’t remember the name of the dude in Virgina who had an interesting phone bill. Or the one who allegedly groped the woman in the parking lot. Or the one who choked his mistress. And if you want to count Talevangicals, it looks like Richard Roberts wife might be in male-student related trouble.
But yes, even I can’t believe the bumper crop of ugly bumping-related scandal the GOP has delivered. Call it the Revenge of the Clenis.
And despite the laughs I’ve gotten from all of that, I still don’t want to think about Lott nekkid. If there is scandal, please God let it be a plain old case of graft.
Psycheout
This is a new low, John. Is the war on terror funny to you now? Your transformation is indeed complete.
demimondian
Look, Psicko, why don’t you make America a better place for Freddom loving Americans, while simultaneously making Iraq a better place for Christ-loving Iraqis.
Go volunteer. I tried, but I can’t, so I served as best I could making weapons better. You should do your part, too.
Andrew
I’m willing to accept the simple explanation that Lott wants to resign before tougher ethics restrictions on lobbying come into play. He may indeed be a stall tapper, but I have no doubt that he’s looking to cash in via excessive and unethical lobbying in any case.
Goseph Gerbils
Like Andrew, I’d be more inclined to buy an explanation like this:
Mind you, anything’s possible.
Pooh
Have you guys seen the picture of the “bride”? It is L O L funny.
John Rohan
This was a success, no?
From all indications, the soldiers were alert, did exactly what they were supposed to, and caught two suspects, without causing any bloodshed to boot.
I guess it pains “Balloon Juice” to credit the Iraq War with any successes at all, no matter how small, so instead you spin it as some sort of hysterical reaction against gay marriage. Well, to each his own, I guess. Enjoy.
conumbdrum
John Rohan deserves some kind of award. Something like… oh, Most Humorless Wingnut Ever.
But then, when your glorious Iraq-victory-to-be turns out to be the biggest foreign policy blunder since Hitler decided to take down Russia… well, I guess taking endless umbrage at them as don’t believe in the shiny, shiny dream anymore is all that sad sacks like Rohan have left. Enjoy, indeed.
4tehlulz
John apparently made the wrong kind of joke. I doubt Mr. Rohan and his ilk would be so uptight about a joke that boiled down to MUZZIES = FAGS.
jake
John Rohan adds further support to the theory that fRighties are only funny by accident.
John Cole
Please tell me this is a spoof. Please.
Zifnab
Spoof or not, apparently he’s a fan. He’s got a post linking back to your “Supporting the Troops” bit.
If he’s a spoof, he’s dedicated to the cause.
John Cole
Free and open exchanges (with, GASP, disagreement) terrify these folks. They really do.
I have recovered from you all “turning” on me. I am, however, thinking of instituting some loyalty tests to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
Bastards.
Notorious P.A.T.
I guess it pains “Balloon Juice” to credit the Iraq War with any successes at all
Yes, the bit that started this thread just drips with agony.
woohoo! We stopped a wanted man who was dressed as a bride! Oh happy day! That was worth 3,800 soldiers, a trillion dollars, and the near-total loss of America’s credibility!
Evinfuilt
We couldn’t, as it was 2 males we couldn’t call it a wedding, so standard protocol couldn’t be followed.
Zifnab
The comfy chair! The soft cushins! No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Grumpy Code Monkey
Funny or not, it certainly is a joke.
jcricket
Ezra Klein made a good point about how, at this point, no amount of individual tactical successes will erase the massive strategic failure that the Iraq war has become.
In other words… you can win a lot of battles but still lose the war, especially in the broadest sense.
jcricket
This proves my point on the thread about the lack of wingnut humor. They are still very good at manufacturing outrage (out of nothing at all…. sing it with me). They should stick to that.
jcricket
Geez – I had forgotten about all of those, it really is hard to remember everything.
And there was the guy in upstate NY who cheated on his wife and had a bunch of DUIs, right? Or am I mixing things up there?
TenguPhule
The *”war”* has always been a bad joke, Psyche.
El Presidente declared it just as his worthless father declared a “war” on drugs.
OBL couldn’t ask for a better friend.
jcricket
Shoot – not cheating on wife, but attending frat parties and being a general drunk.
I think I have scandal fatigue, can’t even bother to look things up anymore. Does anyone have a “Republican scandal compendium” these days?
Grumpy Code Monkey
But I thought Iraq was nothing like Viet Nam.
4tehlulz
Teh Googles tell me that was John Sweeney, and also that he was beating his wife, not cheating.
jake
Run a search on GOP Scandals or GOP Sex Scandal and prepare to be amazed. And kinda icked out.
Ed Schrock was the guy in Virginia. And I forgot Lonnie Latham, the Southern Baptist minister who got off on a charge of soliciting because unlike some fRighties I could mention he strapped on a pair and admitted he did ask the UC cop to come back to his hotel room but since he didn’t offer him money and it isn’t illegal for consenting adults to have sex, he’d done nothing wrong.
jcricket
Good lord, beating his wife, DUIs, etc. Isn’t one scandal enough – or does the GOP have to fuck everything up at once?
jcricket
Did either of us mention the wet-suit dildo guy? Not really GOP related, but close.
And Dan Savage (of Seattle’s “The Stranger” weekly) regularly puts up stuff about all the youth pastors out there molesting kids.
Really folks, you can’t make this stuff up.
Pooh
So much to do, so little time.
John Rohan
Since I wasn’t joking, your point is useless.
I’ll be inclined to agree with you as soon as I see our nation overrun by the enemy.
jcricket
It is kind of breath-taking and demonstrates remarkable Republican unity. Oh wait, the party platform doesn’t call for destroying the party from within via a never-ending parade of scandals? Shoot.
jcricket
Talk about moving the fucking goalposts. We now have to be “overrun by the enemy” before you’re proven wrong?
Good god. You are a moron.
Grumpy Code Monkey
Which enemy? After all, there are so many to choose from.
And how, pray tell, are small cells of religious fanatics who blow themselves up at the drop of a hat going to overrun the United States? Seriously, by what mechanism do you expect them to do this? What are you so goddamned scared of?
This grand military adventure has been a damnable waste of lives and coin. I’ve seen more actual strategic thinking by stoned teenagers playing Risk than any of these chuckers.
Zifnab
Exactly Johan’s point. By carpet bombing and subsequently goose-stepping across a poor 3rd world country whose brutal internal politics were the only thing holding back a full on Sunni-Shia civil war, we were WAY smarter than Hitler.
If the Nazis realized they could make such a gigantic mess while funneling money to the politically connected corporate titans who bankrolled their operation on the tax payer’s dime, Hitler would have beaten us to the Iraq punch some seventy years ago.
If we’d invaded some nascent superpower – say, China for instance – we would have really stepped in it big time. By the WWII time line, the Bush Administration would be surrendering to the French Foreign Legion’s Normandy-style East Coast landing about now, while a few million Chinese conscripts methodically raped and pillaged their way through Topeka, Kansas.
But Bush played it smart. Rather than picking a fight with some 800 lb gorilla, he shot spitballs at the funny little brown kid at the back of the classroom. Then announced Mission Accomplished while the funny little brown kid hit him in the knee caps with a baseball bat. But that’s nothing compared to what he could have gotten himself into if he hadn’t picked on someone with one thousandth of his military budget and the popular support of a leper.
conumbdrum
John Rohan:
My retort:
John Rohan’s riposte:
Wha…? Rohan wasn’t making a big funny? And there I was laughing my gluteus maximus off at his delightfully parodic “outrage.”
I thrust:
John Rohan parries:
Say, that’s true… we have yet to be overcome by hordes of dusky-hued Ay-rabs, haven’t we? Clearly, the hole that is the Iraq war was worth every dime and drop of blood we threw into it.
yet another jeff
Um…John Rohan…see…the reason you were called a humorless wingnut is that you seem to be taking the bit about gay marraige seriously. See, that’s the joke. It’s a more complicated form of comedy than your standard setup/punchline variety. This is black comedy…and that’s black as in dark/morbid/death, not black like african-american.
So, the bit about “teh gay” is not what you think, it’s a joke…and to make matters worse, you also missed the joke in the response to your missing the joke. As Foghorn Leghorn would say “I say, I say that’s a joke, son. I keep a pitchin’ ’em, you keep a missin’ ’em.”
Just thought I’d throw that out there as a public service, even though inside I hope you keep missing the point. At least this way I’ll feel you’re informed and my guilt at laughing at your reply will be eliminated if you continue…and I do hope you stick around for a while.
John Rohan
Learn how to read. I was responding to “biggest foreign policy blunder since Hitler decided to take down Russia”. You do know that Russia eventually invaded Germany right? Or am I assuming too much?
I knew it was a joke – and that’s the point. Since this was actually a success in Iraq (albeit a small one) the only way it would ever be described on Balloon Juice is by sarcastically changing the subject to gay marriage and Republican scandals. In high school, I knew a lot of guys who made themselves feel important by sitting in the back of the classroom and ridiculing everything and anything (without offering constructive help of their own). They are probably all hanging out on blogs by now.
yet another jeff
You know, you really are an amazingly humorless wingnut.
Grumpy Code Monkey
Wow. Is the bar really set that low now? This kind of reminds me of my junior year in high school, when our football team was so indescribably bad, we’d play the school fight song on a first down.
If we’re trumpeting an incident this minor as a success (albeit a small one), then we’ve seriously lost perspective on what we’re trying to accomplish over there. This should be considered business as usual. The only reason it deserves mention is because of the humorous aspect of the “bride.”