Everybody talks about Rudy learning the lessons of 9/11, but few have seen fit to ask him what exactly those lessons are. Those who know Rudy Giuliani could tell you that the answer looks a lot like a brutal police state with zero barrier between public and private, led by a snazzily-dressed Italian with a thing for military aggression and personality cults. If that sounds familiar yes, we have seen this movie before.
Libertarians are freaking out, and they should.
Rome Again
I always did imagine him as a modern day Colonel Klink!
Jim Robinson
Go Rudy Go!!!
I love these satire sites!!
sglover
One possible lesson: Don’t put your emergency services headquarters in the most obvious target.
At least, I think it’s a lesson. Strangely, I’ve yet to hear anything about that from America’s self-anointed mayor.
ThymeZone
The lessons of 911? Well, how about paying some attention to a real terrorist threat against a large, obvious target that has already been hit once?
How about hardening the infrastructures of the supplies of food, water and essential goods and services?
How about conserving the readiness of the military by not wasting it on useless wars that serve no particular purpose?
What do you think, Rudy? Have you learned any of those lessons? Because maybe shoving broomsticks up Abner Louima’s ass and panicky police shootings of innocent people on the street isn’t that great a program in this age of the Clash of Civilizations?
Those might be MY lessons of 911, for starters.
Alan
If he wins he’ll have to contend with a Democratic congress. Thank goodness for divided government.
Tsulagi
I knew Rudy was a law and order kind of guy, but before that link I didn’t know he had that much of an authoritarian streak.
Just what we’d need now with expanded presidential powers. A cross dressing Republican searching to embrace his dominatrix side.
S.W. Anderson
Lessons of 9-11 that Giuliani learned:
1. It’s best to stay and talk tough, rather than split for the Catskills.
2. There’s political hay to be made after terrorists strike.
3. There’s money to be made from the threat posed by Islamic terrorism.
4. Beware of trying to advance shady lieutenants to high places.
5. Hell and Islamic terrorists have no fury like a woman scorned.
RSA
I do wonder about this in Boaz’s piece:
Am I reading too much into this? Televised perp walks are either appropriate or not appropriate, independent of the crime and social status of the defendant, right?
Tim P.
RSA: I think Boaz was saying something to the effect of ‘since the police aren’t in the process of pursuing a fleeing criminal in these cases, it’s not neccessary to have this Law & Order show for the cameras when a surrender could just as easily be arranged.’ A little elitist, but not neccesarily nefarious.
Tsulagi
No wonder Rudy looked kinda goofy when he got that torture question in the last Pub debate. He was getting off on it. Thank God they stand behind podiums.
I also liked Matinee Mitt’s answer to the same question. He couldn’t contain his exuberance: Golly Gosh Gee Whiz I’d fall all over myself in a joyous rush to double Gitmo if I’m president!!! Said to happy applause by the seed pods for a future Idiocracy.
RSA
Gotcha, Tim P. That sounds reasonable.
demimondian
I disagree. Part of the perp walk is the humiliation which is a part of it. It’s not elitist to suggest that the elite get to miss out on that particular experience — it’s suggesting that they are entitled to a different standard of justice and punishment. (And before you go all “innocent until proven guilty” on me, remember that the perp walk wasn’t introduced for the white collar criminals first, but merely generalized to include them as well as the poor folks who were already taking them.)
Tim P.
demimondian: I’m not a fan of mob justice or trial-by-press as it applies to either alleged white collar criminals or their smaller scale brethern. All the good a perp-walk for the benefit of the media can do, in my opinion, is serve to sensationalize the case and prejudice any potential jury pool.
Otto Man
On 9/11, did Rudy learn that terrorism can strike the same place twice?
This is the idiot who put his terrorism response headquarters inside the World Trade Center *after* it had been struck once already, in the 1993 bombing. The reason we had all those heroic shots of Rudy on the streets of New York was that Li’l Mussolini had screwed up royally.
demkat620
When Rudy used that line at the last debate about torture and using “every method they could think of” I wanted someone to ask him if that included sodomizing somebody with a broomstick. That oughtta be an interesting answer.
ThymeZone
Let’s see … theatrical public shaming of people who have been convicted of no crime.
Appropriate or not? This is tough, can I think about it overnight?
Thanks.
Zifnab
Let’s not leave the best part out.
ThymeZone
Indeed. Thanks.
Rome Again
Do you think that’s enough time?
RSA
Go for it, though rhetorical questions shouldn’t really take that long. . .
ThymeZone
When something is important, it’s a good idea to
sleep with it.I mean, sleep on it.Ellison, Ellensburg, Ellers, and Lambchop
Heh. Can you guys even feel your own hypocrisy anymore, or does it just feel normal?
Zifnab
It feels like candy, EEEL. Sweet, delicious candy.
ThymeZone
No, after six and a half years of being governed by completely incompetant and self-serving fuckheads, we really can’t feel shit any more.
So, fuck you.
Andrew
The Wire is still mediocre, just like EEEL’s spoofing. But I hear they both get way better by season 2.
ThymeZone
EEEL’s got some work to do.
Maybe when get finally gets out of Spoofing: Chapter One and graduates from the Neener, Neener phase ….
I dunno. I saw potential there at one time, but he really isn’t progressing.
RSA
I can’t think of anyone in the Bush administration who’s been subjected to “theatrical public shaming” who hasn’t deserved it, and for that matter who hasn’t been honored by Bush or his cronies.
Rome Again
Yeeeeowch! Glad that wasn’t aimed towards me.
ThymeZone
Of course not, you aren’t a failed spoof!
Andrew
Your review is in 3 weeks, so you had better get cracking.
Rome Again
Sorry to inform you, my performance has already been evaluated.
Zombie Santa Claus
How about ferrets? Would Rudy be okay with sodomizing terrorists with ferrets to get them to talk?
I really, REALLY want someone to ask him about the ferrets. Anything about the ferrets. Is it okay to skin them and use the pelts to clothe the nation’s homeless? Eat them and feed the nation’s hungry? If he becomes President, will he send ferret owners to Gitmo?
It’s all about the ferrets with this guy. I think if he wins the nomination, people should start bringing ferrets to his rallies in protest.
ThymeZone
I’m sure you were found to be as good as they come.
ThymeZone
He’ll be lucky to get 40% of the vote.
Andrew
Periodic review is mandatory for borderline cases.
ThymeZone
Ow!
The Other Steve
Look, EEEL… I don’t care how many times the CIA claims it… Valerie Plame was not covert!
Tom Maguire from The Wire told me so.
Otto Man
And that opinion, ladies and gentlemen, is why “According to Jim” is still on the air.
The Wire is the greatest television show ever. Period.
Andrew
Except for the first season, which is pretty lame so far. Seriously, modem-y sounds for pager intercept software? Drug dealers taking macroeconomics?
But I’m sure it becomes totally awesome soon.
demimondian
Actually, Andrew, the really good season is the one nobody saw. Or so I hear.
jh
Not far fetched.
I went to an HBCU at the height of the crack trade and my roomate was a drug dealer from Detroit who got probation for his handgun charge by promising the court he would graduate college.
His major?
Pharmacy.
I shit you not.
And he wasn’t the only one. The biz school had more than one enterprising young man who would confess wanting to learn managment, economics, etc. so they could better ply their trade on the streets back home.
And if you can hold out til Season 2, you are in for several treats.
And Season 4 is jarringly good. It doesn’t even feel like you’re watching TV anymore.
Zombie Santa Claus
Please, won’t someone think of the ferrets?
Andrew
What’s the drug dealer going to do, set federal interest rates to combat unemployment?
The economics that a drug dealer wants is micro.
Just like the dumb modem-y thing, a cute idea, but technically wrong.
Given that I have to watch 87 more hours of TV to feel like I’m not watching TV anymore, the least I expect is some technical accuracy. Alternately, I might-could just go hang out with the hippies at the park and not watch TV there.
jh
No, but the smart ones do know that macroeconomic factors like Business Cycles, and Fiscal Policy DO affect their bottom line. Just like every other “industry”. Dealers for example, view periods of economic instabilty as somewhat favorable – that’s when they see an uptick in business.
While it is true that microeconomics is more applicable to the daily business operations of the street level trade, it doesn’t really matter. A young dealer actually going for an undergrad degree in business is going to be learning micro AND macro economics theories.
Like I said, it’s not that far fetched and I think I read somewhere that David Simon; the show’s producer, can also cite some real life examples of this type of thing.
Andrew
So season 2 of The Wire is the drug dealer taking the remainder of his liberal arts curriculum? Awesome. I went to school with about 40 of those guys, except they just sold pot to each other.
Is season 3 drug dealer grad school? Does he go for an MBA? What does he list under ‘work experience’? Maybe he should try for a law degree.
And what happens in season 4, the not TV season? Does a drug dealer come to your house during the show and teach you macroeconomics?
Andrew
Also, The Shield is way better.
RSA
Do the students understand that defending a thesis is only a metaphorical usage?
jh
I give your snark an “A-“. It’d be a solid “A”, but you should have stopped at the second paragraph.
In all seriousness, I was just like you – one of those people who wanted so much to hate the Wire. I also happen to hate cop shows (and I think Dick Wolfe has a lot to do with that)
I grew up in a neighborhood much like the one portrayed on the show and I had about as much use for another cop/lawyer procedural as a fish does for a bicycle.
I would catch part of an episode during (the admittedly slow to get rolling) Season 1 here and there, and just couldn’t get into it. Later on, I saw an entire Episode during Season 2 and came to the conclusion that it wasn’t the same old cops n’ robbers nonsense that has made me so nauseous over the years.
Finally, I saw the first episode of Season 4 and I was immediately hooked. It’s just that good.
And remember I hate cop shows.
ThirdGorchBro
The point of Stringer Bell taking the Macroeconomics class was that he had pretensions of becoming more than just a drug dealer, not just that he thought it was making him a better drug dealer. And he was wrong on both counts, as things played out in Season 3.
Without disrespecting anybody else’s opinion, I’ll just say that I think The Wire is the best damn television show ever made.
Oh, topic? I used to like Guiliani a lot, until I started learning more about the tactics he used to “clean up” Manhattan. It’s nice that he brought down Gotti, but the last thing this country needs is someone even more authoritarian than Bush.
Andrew
Great, well, now that the show is ruined for me, I guess I just have watch some horrible CBS crime procedurals.
Devil's Advocate
As a New Yorker, I can assure you that Giuliani is a nasty piece of work.
He is an authoritarian; he has a horrible temper; he is very vindictive. And he is a racist: he never reached out to the African-American community.
The thought of this guy becoming President is enough to make me want to emigrate.
Zombie Santa Claus
Thanks for the spoilers. Be sure to tell me the names of some movies you haven’t seen, so I can post their entire plots and their twist endings for you.
Fucker. This kind of shit pisses me off something FIERCE!
Devil's Advocate
Rudy did nothing on 9/11 but try to calm people down by showing his face on TV and report from what he heard from downtown.
Since The Boy King was beeing flown all over the country with a large supply of Depends to deal with his terror-induced diahrrea, and Darth Vice was hunkering in some bunker or other popping up anti-diarrhea pills, the only game in town — and on national TV — was Rudy.
In fact, Rusy is likely responsible for the death of hundreds of police officers and firefighters, because he never bothered to supply both forces with compatible radio equipment. Those firefighters who were in Tower I when it threatened tto collapse would have lived if the police officers had been able to communicate with them from the outside.
In fact, Rudy was an incompetent idiot. He located his recue center at 7 WTC, even though the WTC had been bombed in 1993. 7 WTC collapsed.
He urged people to go back to their offices even though the stench of smoke (and whatever else) was horrifying.
The air in downtown Manhattan was unsafe to breathe, yet Giuliany and the EPA assured everybody it was fime.
Devil's Advocate
Rudy did nothing on 9/11 but try to calm people down by showing his face on TV and report from what he heard from downtown.
Since The Boy King was beeing flown all over the country with a large supply of Depends to deal with his terror-induced diahrrea, and Darth Vice was hunkering in some bunker or other popping up anti-diarrhea pills, the only game in town — and on national TV — was Rudy.
In fact, Rusy is likely responsible for the death of hundreds of police officers and firefighters, because he never bothered to supply both forces with compatible radio equipment. Those firefighters who were in Tower I when it threatened tto collapse would have lived if the police officers had been able to communicate with them from the outside.
In fact, Rudy was an incompetent idiot. He located his recue center at 7 WTC, even though the WTC had been bombed in 1993. 7 WTC collapsed.
He urged people to go back to their offices even though the stench of smoke (and whatever else) was horrifying.
The air in downtown Manhattan was unsafe to breathe, yet Giuliany and the EPA assured everybody it was fime.
Devil's Advocate
Rudy did nothing on 9/11 but try to calm people down by showing his face on TV and report from what he heard from downtown.
Since The Boy King was beeing flown all over the country with a large supply of Depends to deal with his terror-induced diahrrea, and Darth Vice was hunkering in some bunker or other popping up anti-diarrhea pills, the only game in town — and on national TV — was Rudy.
In fact, Rusy is likely responsible for the death of hundreds of police officers and firefighters, because he never bothered to supply both forces with compatible radio equipment. Those firefighters who were in Tower I when it threatened tto collapse would have lived if the police officers had been able to communicate with them from the outside.
In fact, Rudy was an incompetent idiot. He located his recue center at 7 WTC, even though the WTC had been bombed in 1993. 7 WTC collapsed.
He urged people to go back to their offices even though the stench of smoke (and whatever else) was horrifying.
The air in downtown Manhattan was unsafe to breathe, yet Giuliany and the EPA assured everybody it was fime.