Apparently, aside from randomly (or perhaps not so randomly) blowing up those who pray to him, God also likes a fastball:
No copies of Playboy or Penthouse are in the clubhouse of baseball’s Colorado Rockies. There’s not even a Maxim. The only reading materials are daily newspapers, sports and car magazines and the Bible.
Music filled with obscenities, wildly popular with youth today and in many other clubhouses, is not played. A player will curse occasionally but usually in hushed tones. Quotes from Scripture are posted in the weight room. Chapel service is packed on Sundays. Prayer and fellowship groups each Tuesday are well-attended. It’s not unusual for the front office executives to pray together.
On the field, the Rockies are trying to make the playoffs for the first time in 11 seasons and only the second time in their 14-year history. Behind the scenes, they quietly have become an organization guided by Christianity — open to other religious beliefs but embracing a Christian-based code of conduct they believe will bring them focus and success.
Unlike the Air Force, I really have no problem with this sort of thing (although I do find it amusing that this is happening in Colorado again), and actually encourage it- if very religious baseball players want to congregate (to borrow a term) at the Rockies, more power to them. Open displays of religiosity don’t bother me in the least. Attempting to force me to adopt your moral code does.
Some reports claim that this characterization of the Rockies is over-the-top:
Character, not religion, is the critical factor in the Rockies’ chemistry, according to the players. That explains why so many players reacted negatively to the portrayal of their clubhouse in a USA Today cover story in Wednesday’s editions that stressed the importance of Christianity.
“It was just bad. I am not happy at all. Some of the best teammates I have ever had are the furthest thing from Christian,” pitcher Jason Jennings said. “You don’t have to be a Christian to have good character. They can be separate. It was misleading.”
Todd Helton and Jennings were quoted supporting the article’s premise regarding religion’s role in the clubhouse. But both said they never were asked about religion, and were questioned only in general terms about the clubhouse environment.
“I wouldn’t say it was accurate. (The writer) asked me about the guys in here and I said it’s a good group. We work hard and get along well,” Helton said.
Regardless, the Rockies are 27-26 (they have lost two games since the story was originally printed), with well over 2/3 of the season to go. We’ll see if God really likes them in the long run.
ppGaz
Any team that plays its home games at Coors Field needs plenty of Bibles and prayer. Its pitching staff will be shredded by the time the pennant drive comes around, and they will never see a championship there.
Jon
I just want to see somebody say something to match up to Mike Vanderjagt of the Colts, who when asked about the playoff loss to the Steelers said “I guess the Lord forgot about the football team.”
You have to have some stones to throw God under the bus like that.
ET
And in today WaPo, there is a lovely article in the Metro section about how the DC based Faith and Action and it’s president Rev. Robert Schenck, wants to put a rather large monument (waist-high, 850-pound granite sculpture) to the 10 commandments across the street from the U.S. Supreme Court on the front lawn of their rowhouse on Second Street NE. Of course they apparantly don’t have the permits from the District Dot or the Historic Preservation Review Board.
Perry Como
And better beer.
Faux News
I bet the Christians on the Rockies can leg press 2,000lbs!
The Other Steve
Absolutely, no problem here. I doubt you’d find much if any disagreement nationwide for that.
The Other Steve
I don’t care. It’s their property. As long as they aren’t trying to put it on my property, I’m fine with that.
Which version of the Ten Commandments do they intend on using?
Brian
Why is this news?
PeterJ
Why don’t you want to hear about the good news about the war against the war on Christianity?
DougJ
Why is this news?
Look, BRINO, just because you’re objectively anti-God doesn’t mean everyone else is. Why don’t you move to Provincetown, pierce your scrotum, and enter into a same sex marriage with Ward Churchill, if that’s how you see things?
Davebo
With friends like that…
I mean come on! Sure, they may be jewish, or agnostic, or athiest, but the furthest thing from Christian?
Faux News
Why HELLLLOOOO Brian! Hey Sailor, new in Ptown? Let me buy you a drink.
Jeff Gannon
Faux News
Otto Man
“I say, ‘Fuck you, Jobu. I do it myself.'”
MattM
“Ah, Jesus…I like him very much, but he no help with curveball.”
Tom in Texas
This all reminds me of one of my favorite onion articles. It was either a musicia/actor or an athlete (Can’t remember which), and they blamed god throughout their speech for making them to lose. Also the article about Christ returning to the NBA, winning the MVP, and thanking himself afterwards. Priceless stuff.
Punchy
Easily the funniest thing I’ve read all day.
As for God and the Rockies…well..they ARE a mile up, so maybe the reporter meant they’re LITERALLY closer to God than every other team….
Pooh
“Are you trying to say that Jesus Christ can’t hit a curveball?”
“Easy Harris, we don’t want to start a holy war here.”
Brian
Hello my locker room friend. I’d like to introduce you to my friend, Prince Albert.
DougJ
If Krista were here, she could bring us a great one from the Great White North that a friend of mine used to like: “Jesus saves, but Gretzky scores on the rebound.”
John S.
Jesus saves.
But Moses invests.
Ancient Purple
This will be followed by Brian showing us his nipple piercings and the words “Daddy’s Boy” tattooed on his lower back just above the anal cleft.
Krista
DougJ – actually, I’ve never heard that one before. Thanks!
If that ever happens in real life, somebody please send me a clip so that I can die a happy woman.
rs
DougJ,I first heard that about 35 years ago,as “Jesus saves,and Esposito scores on the rebound!” But that Gretzky fellow was pretty good,too.
Off Colfax
For the Gretzky line, I prefer using Miroslav Šatan of the New York Islanders. It gets a hell (pun intended) of a better shock-value response.
As for the Rockies… Sorry, but there’s only room for two good teams in Denver. So unless the Avs and (shudder) Broncos fall off the radar (Yes, I know about the Nuggets. One good season does not a good team make. Anyways, it’s basketball. I haven’t cared about basketball for years.), then the Rox don’t stand a chance. Anyways… Playoffs? In Denver? They’d never make it past the NLDS.
Off Colfax
Oh, and as a complete aside, I saw this one a few years ago.
“Jesus saves, but Patrick Roy can save everything.”
This message has been brought to you by the First Church of Saint Patrick.
Jim Allen
Ooops, should have read RS’s post first….
DougJ
I bet if you say that on Protein Wisdom, Goldstein will call you an anti-Semite. I’m not kidding.
rbl
My personal favorite is: “Jesus saves, the rest of you take full damage.”