I’m begging:
INGRAHAM: Would you agree to a debate with Al Gore on this issue?
PALIN: Oh my goodness. You know, it depends on what the venue would be, what the forum. Because Laura, as you know, if it would be some kind of conventional, traditional debate with his friends setting it up or being the commentators I’ll get clobbered because, you know, they don’t want to listen to the facts.
So help me ALLAH, if Gore sighs once in this debate I will punch him in the neck and kick him in the junk. But wouldn’t you love to see that moron up there just winking and blushing and making shit up?
Just Some Fuckhead
lmfao
Michael
Sweet Baby Jesus and the Troops, let it be so. They could make a fortune selling it on pay per view.
Just Some Fuckhead
No.
Comrade Dread
No, because all she’d have to do is smile and wink and not fall over and we’d have weeks of media coverage about how she won the debate and was electric and this paves the way for a 2012 run making her the frontrunner.
Also, throw in a few limp dick and fat jokes about Gore and his energy overusing mansion.
General Winfield Stuck
He will need a temporary lobotomy, or a fistful of Qualudes to tune in the right frequency. A little drool bucket on a chain around the neck is recommended, but optional.
Demo Woman
She would not agree to a debate even if Sean Hannity asked the questions..
Makewi
I’m all for it, so long as one of the questions is “what is the temperature of the earths core”.
CT Voter
Again with the projection. What’s with RepCons?
Jay C
Fixt.
LMAO
Maude
Palin is worried about facts?
Bruce (formerly Steve S.)
No, because debating is not science and not a process by which reality is more closely approximated.
Bruce (formerly Steve S.)
No, because debating is not science and not a process by which reality is more closely approximated.
Bubblegum Tate
@Demo Woman:
Dingdingding! We have a winner.
Her statement about facts is pretty fucking funny, though.
Keith
Surprised I’m the first to say this, but yes, she can call him ‘Al’.
fraught
Al Gore’s junk? Don’t make me go in there.
PurpleGirl
If not a conventional, traditional debate then what would it be?
New Yorker
No, I don’t want to see this, because it’s another opportunity for Lady Starbursts to portray herself as a victim, which is what keeps her relevant. She even sets it up with I’ll get clobbered because, you know, they don’t want to listen to the facts.
Remember, this is a deranged person who is in a Jerry Springer-esque feud with the high school dropout father of her grandson. The less credibility that we give her by taking her seriously, the better.
General Winfield Stuck
Oh shit!!
demkat620
No, because even if he destroyed everything that she had to say, the media and the GOP would paint it as a huge win.
It doesn’t matter what you do when the person you are trying to convince does not live in reality.
Morbo
She’ll only agree to it if it’s held at a church, Our Lady of Perpetual Victimhood to be exact.
Death Panel Truck
“Well, it’s real hot down there, doncha know? That’s where hell is, you betcha.”
geg6
I would be appalled if Al Gore lowered himself to her level to make the obvious point that she is an idiot who knows less than nothing. No. No. Hell, no. Besides, he could hang her ignorance out for all the world to see and the Village (aka MoDo and friends) would still score her the winner. See any 2000 debate he had with the Shrub.
schrodinger's cat
Can we have a Top Chef open thread, please?
Edited to add : And a photo of the Top Cat, Tunch
Yay, I can has edit!! thanks John!
Jennifer
No, because she has nothing to add to the global conversation on global warming, and none of us should act like she does.
freelancer
Venue, Venue, Venue….Eureka!
How about a three ring circus
Everytime Al Gore is speaking an orchestra quietly plays Pomp and Circumstance with the spotlight on his Nobel.
When Palin speaks, play circus music and have her constantly interrupted by some kid in his twenties stealing the mike to give us his update in Mafia Wars.
Ash Can
It’ll never happen. Gore is too nice a guy to agree to a debate with her.
demkat620
You know, I just got home from work 1/2 an hour ago and that’s all it took.
I am now convinced that even Obama can’t right this ship. There is just way too much stupid in this country today.
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
@Bruce (formerly Steve S.):
@Bruce (formerly Steve S.):
These. And I think your double posting is worth it in this case.
jeffreyw
Kill me now, listening to republicans lie about financial reform on the house floor.
schrodinger's cat
I don’t find Palin funny at all. I think she is scary as hell.
General Winfield Stuck
OT
It’s the sixties again, this time from Tea Bag Hell
Double Oh Shit!!
R-Jud
@geg6:
This. She’s not a legitimate debating partner on this issue, period. It would be like Obama debating Erick Erickson.
beltane
I want to see the cage match between Palin and Bill Clinton. Gore is too nice and too clear. Clinton will confuse the heck out of her and force her to say something so crazy that it would even make George Will laugh.
Zifnab
Oh whatever, John. You make it through ten minutes of Sarah Palin talking without sighing, groaning, or putting a gun to your head, and then you can complain.
beltane
@General Winfield Stuck: A couple of months ago I referred to the teabaggers as the Woodstock of the Damned. Now they have progressed to being the Under the Weathermen.
Jim
Even in print she sounds like a bad imitation of herself.
Laura W
I’m reserving comment until BOB weighs in on this.
Zifnab
@beltane: Actually, that makes me think. I would love to hear a debate between Bill Clinton and Al Gore.
On the one hand, you’ve got President Middle Ground Third Way himself, and on the other you’ve got Mr. “We have to move far, quickly”, one of the shining stars of the environmental movement.
I would love to hear business-friendly Clinton and eco-first Gore have a serious, rational, debate about how to tackle climate change. It would go a long way towards breaking this monolithic image of the Democratic Party while opening up a serious debate on exactly how courteous to the status quo we need to be as we combat global warming.
demkat620
@beltane: Now that would be fun to see.
The Big Dog would be just the person to take her arguments apart.
That would be Must See TV.
tamied
@beltane: I’d rather Hillary take her on.
Midnight Marauder
@General Winfield Stuck:
By all means, don’t stop at pretending, kiddos. Would Ronaldus Magnus have just pretended to die in order to stop a government takeover of healthcare? No, he would have committed seppuku right there in the middle of the every single Senate office and hallway, all at the same time. How is that possible you, ask? Well, it’s starts with a little–BECAUSE SHUT UP, THAT’S WHY!
Xanthippas
Can he just stare at the camera after she says something particularly stupid? Granted, that would be most of the debate…
handy
Palin’s argument in this debate would be:
1) Call Al Gore fat (LMAO ManBearPig)
2) Remind him he lives in a big house (LOL Carbon footprint)
3) Claim victory
Bubblegum Tate
@New Yorker:
On second thought, this:
jeffreyw
The only venue that seems appropriate for a Palin debate is a big vat of Jello.
Not that there’s anything wrong with Jello.
Jim
@demkat620:
Yup. Folksy and dumb as a bucket of mud vs folksy and very very smart. That would be some good TeeVee watchin’.
General Winfield Stuck
I’d pay to see Palin and Hillary mud wrestle.
JD Rhoades
@Comrade Dread:
This. I’m old enough to remember when there were similar starbursty comments over Dan Quayle’s “winning” the Vice Presidential debate with Loyd Bentsen. (No, I’m not kidding). One of the few moments when George Will was not a complete putz is when he responded to someone saying that Quayle had won by “exceeding everyone’s expectations” by saying “he exceeded expectations when he didn’t drool.”
Bad Horse's Filly
The stupid it burns.
Bubblegum Tate
@General Winfield Stuck:
Reminds me of a great series of Bloom County strips wherein crazed right-wing protesters took over a building a la ’60s hippies, then demanded that the cops fire tear gas at them, bash their heads, etc.
demkat620
@General Winfield Stuck: The Tuzla Tigress would kick the Snowbilly’s ass.
RedKitten
Yeah, but Gore’s damned if he does, damned if he doesn’t. If he refuses to debate Lady Starbursts, then the popular meme will be that he’s afraid because he knows that she’ll beat his fancy, Nobel-winning pants off. If he DOES debate her, then she’s already set herself up by indicating that no matter what happens, it won’t be a fair fight and the entire process will be biased against her. So if she’s considered to have “won” the debate, she’ll be the underdog hero who bested that horrible fraud, Al Gore. If she loses, it’s just more proof of the ever-present liberal bias that permeates every bit of our society.
Heads they win, tails we lose.
General Winfield Stuck
@demkat620:
That would be my money.
Bad Horse's Filly
@Laura W: There you are. I been thinking I hadn’t read any good L-dub snark is far too long.
demkat620
Well cheer up folks. Apparently we killed Al Qeada’s number 3 man. Again.
The more things change…
RedKitten
@beltane:
That would be awesome. Gore (and even Obama) would take the wrong tact of trying to use logic on her. Big Dog would just laugh at her, and would soon have the entire room laughing too.
General Winfield Stuck
Allahpundit — I think it moved.
FlipYrWhig
Palin really does think that “debate” is some kind of liberal plot to make her look bad. She said that same damn thing to kick off the debate with Biden.
demkat620
@RedKitten: Yes! That’s why I would pay big money.
Despite what the GOP tried to do to him, most Americans love Bill. Oh they know he’s a bullshit artist. But he’s an honest bullsit artist. That’s his schtick. He’d have them eating out of the palm of his hand in five minutes and she’d be so flustered it would make that Couric interview look like a cakewalk.
Make. This. Happen.
Please!
eemom
Rich Lowry is getting starbursts just thinking about this.
cmorenc
@geg6
You cannot win a debate with an igorant idiot if the media people describing and anlyizing it are shallow and lazy themselves, taking “American Idol” judges or “color” commentators on sports broadcasts as their implicit model.
All Palin would have to do is to trot out a half-dozen plausible-sounding “facts”, at least two of which seemed to have *something* relevant to allegedly counter something AlGore had said, and maintain that winsomely smiling chipmunk look – and Gore’s objectively solid arguments and facts would get muffled the same haze of mental inattentiveness many people gave their high school history class. What the chattering class would pick up on and remember was something charming the cute girl said.
snoey
Make it a reality show debate – prep Simon Cowell and Padma Lakshmi with the basics from RealClimate and pass the popcorn.
Just Some Fuckhead
John Edwards, the last losing candidate for VP before Palin is the most logical choice to debate her. Not only do they have that in common, but they also both have limited political resumes, experience with getting what they want just by the way they look and sordid personal lives.
Nevermind, can we just get ’em to do a porno?
General Winfield Stuck
OT again.
An open thread would be nice.
Meanwhile, back at the front. All democrats proceed to form a circle. Thanky you so much.
Bubblegum Tate
@snoey:
I’d watch that, but then again, I’d watch Padma Lakshmi do pretty much anything.
Laura W
@cmorenc:
And then we should totally do our own BJ poll about what was painted on her toenails.
I vote Green Balloons!
@BHF: Thanks. You’re sweet.
Rick Taylor
I already saw it in 2000. Well, without the starbursts, but certainly with the winks and nudges and making shit up. It was the first debate, and at the time me and my friends went to bed elated, because we were convinced that after that performance Bush could not possibly win. So I’m less excited by the idea now than I was then. I expect if it happened, it would deepen the divide between conservative and liberal (if such a thing could be possible) as both saw their side as unambiguously victorious, and could not believe the other side didn’t see it too.
Rick Taylor
No, on further consideration, I don’t like the idea. As much as I respect Gore and am grateful for his work, he is not a scientists. These issues should be decided through debate by people who know what they are talking about in peer reviewed journals, not by celebrities, how ever well or ill informed.
El Cid
Yeah. A right wing Megachurch filled with Tea Party members and whose hosts and microphone controllers were Sean Hannity, Michael Savage, and Sean Hannity’s junior, Michael Levin.
The Republic of Stupidity
@Just Some Fuckhead:
John Edwards… and Sarah Palin… in a porno…
Gee… thanks a whole lot for THAT little visual in my head…
Now I can look forward to yet ANOTHER 18 to 36 hrs of hysterical blindness…
Raenelle
No. No. No. The gasbags handicap these things–set the bar way high for the Dems, the competent, the intelligent; and way low for Repubs, the dim-witted, the ignorant. All Palin would have to do is avoid visible drooling, and she would be declared the winner. All Al would have to do is show some slight sign of impatience at her dullness, and he would be tarred and feathered by the media. Hell, they’d brand him a bully if he simply used a four-syllable word. In sane world, the debate over global warming is already over. In our world, however, Al cannot win–ever–and Sarah can only shine. He would be a fool to enter a debate where the rules are controlled by media personalities almost as clueless as Palin.
Anya
By his friends she means anyone else, except Mr. Starburst, Hannity, Greta and maybe the morons on fox and friends.
Zach
I imagine “his friends” would include, say, the President of the National Academy of Sciences.
It’s too bad there that, for whatever reason, unimpeachable scientific voices are no longer in public view. The closest thing we’ve got are self-interested entrepreneurs (Venter, Kamen, etc), a few astronomers, and a string theorist on NOVA. Elevating Steve Chu to head DOE was a good start, but it won’t get us back to where we once were: Feynman describing the Challenger O-ring failure… Werner von Braun describing rocketry to children… Linus Pauling demonstrating outside the White House
The number of people who think global warming’s a fraud isn’t only rising because of the propaganda of a well-funded opposition; there’s a genuine lack of objective scientific voices in public discourse.
cmorenc
@beltane
That’s abolutely f*cking BRILLIANT! Clinton possesses the optimal combination of deeply knowledgeable student/policy wonk and charmingly agile bullshit artist. He instinctively knows exactly which buttons to push and which verbal judo moves to use to render his opponent quickly pinned helpless, without seeming to become mean and nasty in going about it. Against Bill Clinton, Palin would come across as exactly the sort of lazily ignorant, totally out of her depth person she is, even completely aside from the particular topic at hand under debate.
GReynoldsCT00
Even if she agreed to it, she’d back out
Person of Choler
“But wouldn’t you love to see that moron up there just winking and blushing and making shit up?”
Yes, I think Gore would look that silly.
Anya
@General Winfield Stuck: Did she not imply that he plagiarized her book because she talked about the imperfection of man and such nonsense.
General Winfield Stuck
All debates are done by Sarah Rules – no exceptions
Short questions for short knowledge.
El Cid
Never forget that opponents of evolutionary theory always come away thinking that the anti-science “intelligent design” proponent wins.
This is not a ‘debate’, it’s a piece of live performance martyrdom and sneering competition so that the rubes can see how much Gore hates ordinary folk.
Regnad Kcin
I need a photo-opportunity
I want a shot at redemption
Don’t want to end up a cartoon
In a cartoon graveyard
“Al”
General Winfield Stuck
@Anya:
In a catty way, I do believe she did. That’s our Sarah Serendipity, always with another wabbit in her hat.
El Cid
Palin would also have the right to leave after 1/3 of the allotted time.
arguingwithsignposts
I find it interesting that both Gore and Palin had a journalism background. But Gore was a Senator and Vice President, and didn’t quit.
Palin has absolutely no freakin’ clue about this stuff she’s spouting. And no moral compunction about spouting it.
BTW, has anyone figured out who ghost-wrote her column?
JK
@Raenelle:
Debating Sarah Palin is like trying to nail jello to a wall. As she did in the VP debate, she’d evade questions she didn’t like and the moderator wouldn’t push her.
Additionally, the bar for Palin would be excruciating low, while excruciating high for Gore.
The MSM has never liked Gore and no matter what he’d say, such a debate would either be scored a tie or a win for Palin.
Fern
Who floated this really, really stupid idea?
JK
@arguingwithsignposts:
My money is on George Will.
El Cid
I would like to see a so-called quantum mechanic debate my local mechanic! Ha! ‘Bet that ivory tower weirdo would sure be shown a thing or two!
The Dangerman
Facts? WHAT FUCKING FACTS, SARAH? This hillbilly bitch is Ross Perot the Sequel. And that fucker got put down (by Al Gore, as I recall) on Larry King Live.
I’d agree to debate the piece o’ crap ONLY if it were broadcast on radio or only the sound was streamed. I don’t want her winning by flashing a winking smile or because she showed up wearing some cool Jimmy Choo’s.
El Cid
@The Dangerman: And it wasn’t an accident choosing Perot, because Gore’s arguments for NAFTA were so bad that I would easily have countered them, but by putting loudmouth big ear EDS dickhead on the TV tube, it was easy to make people think that the only opponents of the agreement were big eared weirdos with paranoia problems.
Sarah Failin'
Come on, it’s Sarah Palin – I’ll bet you a case of Science Diet that she backs out rather than go through with this. I think the money you could save with GEICO has better debating skills.
Sad_Dem
Would “Sarah, you ignorant slut” be too dated?
GReynoldsCT00
@Sad_Dem:
nah, that’s a classic
Tsulagi
Or says “lockbox.”
Yeah I’d watch that on pay per view. Palin rambling on about flagging climate molecules while watching the ozone layer from her house window. Unfettered or bound by reality or that liberal science stuff. Wingnut drool cups would overflow.
SpotWeld
A fun idea since there is no way Palin could ever hold up in an actual debate on a factual subject like global warming.
But lets face it, first it would a Fox News venue.
Sarah would just drop a long rambling folksy gallop of non-facts and gut-feeling nonsense.
Al Gore would probably give a competent rebuttal but he’s human he’ll probably stumble or flub something.
Then it’ll be over to the commentators (which have spent the preshow giving the “fair and balanced” view of climatology.. not). They’ll be sure to point out how Palin “connected with the fraudulence” and “really came out swinging”. On reflection they’ll be sure to point out how Al Gore lost the election, and really who wants to listen to a bunch of science anyway.
Palin will claim victory, and get the interviews. And edited segments of Gore will be played ad naseum to show when he wasn’t blinking enough or something.
It’ll be like “debating a creationists” and Richard Dawkins has covered why that’s a bad idea.
truculent and unreliable
@El Cid: You are cracking my shit up today.
Noonan
When Palin says it depends on the “forum” I’m pretty sure she means the dollar amount. Gotta keep living hillbilly fabulous.
freelancer
@Tsulagi:
like the helicopters from the Gass thread, I missed the Al Gore “Lockbox” meme. Anyone care to bring me up to speed?
SpotWeld
@freelancer:
bago
AAH! It’s teabagger v teabagger on hardball! TRUCKNUTZ!
arguingwithsignposts
@freelancer:
The lockbox where we were supposed to keep the social security funds from being stolen and used for deficit spending.
It got parodied on SNL. It’s sort of like the Internet that he “invented.”
noncarborundum
@General Winfield Stuck: This sounds just great. Then proponents of HCR could stage a counterdemonstration and pretend to be people dying from untreated illnesses because they have no fucking health insurance.
Silver Owl
Translation: Gore would not let me win with all the stupid shit I say on a regular basis. I am a conservative so if I lose then it is clearly a set up and not because I really really suck.
freelancer
@SpotWeld:
@arguingwithsignposts:
Seems like a really old reference. What sparked its resurgence?
JK
@freelancer:
PAUL SOLMAN: So the government has only two ways to raise money– taxes and borrowing, which brings us to the key to this story: The metaphorical lockbox about which we heard so many last year.
AL GORE: I’ll keep Social Security in a lockbox.
AL GORE: In a lockbox.
PAUL SOLMAN: The term lockbox actually invented by Republicans became the mantra of the Gore campaign and a standing national box.
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE ACTOR: One of the keys to the lock box would be kept by the President. The other key would be sealed in a small container and placed under the bumper of the Senate Majority Leader’s car. (Laughter)
PAUL SOLMAN: But Candidate Bush also took the lockbox pledge.
GEORGE W. BUSH: Because we are lock-boxing the payroll taxes, our promises to seniors is going to be kept.
PAUL SOLMAN: Congress soon adopted the concept. And what was the lockbox idea? Actually saving this year’s and every future’s Social Security surplus — instead of as former Congressional Budget Office Chief Robert Reischauer told us spending the surplus by using it as part of the budget.
h/t http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/economy/july-dec01/lockbox_8-22.html
Mayken
@Just Some Fuckhead: Right there with ya. No, I don’t really wanna see this.
Mayken
@Comrade Dread: Yes, this!
arguingwithsignposts
@freelancer:
It’s generic Al Gore meme (along with fat, the internet, and the big house). Any time his name comes up, the lockbox is sure to follow, sort of a Gorewin’s Law.
RSA
It would be more entertaining and no less informative to watch Al Gore debate Tina Fey.
tim
‘Cause, ya know, “conventional, traditional” debates are all fraudulent scams slanted in favor of teh liburls. LOL
eric
This is easy: Big Dog says let’s do 2 hours on Fox with Shep Smith doing the honors.
done and done.
eric
danimal
Agreed to all those that say No since Gore would lose points for speaking in well-constructed sentences and Palin would gain points by winking and melting conservative hearts like they are an arctic iceberg, you betcha. Also, Gore’s fat and she’s fit. Too.
@demkat620: Al Queda’s number 3 is the terrorists’ equivalent of the Spinal Tap drummer.
trollhattan
@ cmorenc
And he’d ask her out for drinks in the middle of the
debatetalkie thing. It would be goddamn pay-per-view gold.El Cid
@truculent and unreliable: What I do is only for the greater good of America, and of course cheap entertainment.
Fargus
I have an insane environmental scientist friend who has a ridiculous bug up her ass about Al Gore, and seems to think that he’s trying to usurp credit and claim that he’s a climate scientist. I sent her this link, and her first reaction was that Al Gore is almost as big an idiot as Sarah Palin. That made me want to vomit.
gizmo
I’m seeing starbursts and gettin’ all woody just thinkin’ about that debate….
truculent and unreliable
@El Cid: Well, I salute you for it.
RedKitten
Plus, while Gore would look slightly pained/constipated/aggravated by the entire thing, Clinton would be like a confident gray tabby, eyes gleaming with amusement, playing with a particularly juicy mouse before getting bored and eviscerating it. I think he’d have a lot of fun taking Mooselini on.
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
@Raenelle: This is why the insta-polls in the debates last year were a good thing. Instant reaction became the story rather than the pundits stories.
Allen
“I don’t want a conventional debate, where people have to form complete, coherent sentences.”
Tom
FTFPalin.
Nylund
The entire GOP has just turned into one giant textbook case of psychological projection.
It has gotten to the point where I just automatically assume that whatever accusation is made against someone else must hold true for the speaker.
kth
Actually, in that exchange Palin is the lesser of the two dingbats. Laura Ingraham is dumb enough to think that a Palin-Gore debate on global warming would help the denialist side. Palin at least has enough sense to throw water on the proposal.
Davis X. Machina
Studies came out that winter that people who watched the debate itself scored it 65-35% Gore, but people who only watched the coverage of the debate scored it 65-35% Bush. I used the video of that first debate in debate class for years. The kids just laughed at Bush — and this is post 9/11, during the Iraq war.
It’s hard to bullshit teenagers. They don’t know anything. They know they don’t know anything, and they can tell when someone else doesn’t know anything either.
Martin
Honestly, there has never been a more appropriate application of the adage:
Palin would almost certainly ‘win’ the debate, because she’d make it about baby Jesus, Al Gore being biased in favor of the emails because he invented the internet, and terrorists wanting America to use less oil, see: terrorists, palling around with.
In other words, she’d be arguing the ‘facts’ as most Americans know them, Al Gore would be doing all of this egghead bullshit.
Platonicspoof
No thanks.
Palin belongs in climate change politics like a clown belongs at a funeral.
I’ll take my bread without the circuses.
asiangrrlMN
I’m late to the thread, but no. I would not like to see this, for all the reasons mentioned above.
ds
Palin is pretty good at lying about shit, so she could probably hold her own in people’s perceptions about the debate.
In terms of facts, Gore would wipe the floor with her. But how many people are familiar enough with climate science to know what’s fact and what’s bullshit?
But as long a she peppered her statements with confident-sounding falsities and cute anecdotes about Alaska she could probably be declared the “winner.”
Paul L.
@SpotWeld:
Or maybe it will show he does not know what he is talking about.
Progressive defend this as Gore misspoke. But if Bush or Palin had said the same thing progressives would state it proves that the person is a moron and how little they know about “science” .
carlos the dwarf
@beltane:
“Under the Weathermen”=thread win.
Lex
@Just Some Fuckhead: Thanks so much for that image. Now I’ve got to rummage around for the brain bleach.
Mrs. Tarquin Biscuitbarrel
@General Winfield Stuck: $arah allegedly liked Obama’s speech ONLY because she claims he took all of his inspiration for the speech from her ghost-written “book.”
Can’t you just imagine POTUS thumbing anxiously through “Going Rogue” for Big Ideas?