I’m really not a violent person, but so help me Allah, if I could figure out which one of you subscribed me to updates from David Vitter, I would punch you in the damned neck. Two or three times. If you are going to make me read crap like that, at least have the decency to hit the paypal when you sign me up.
Jerk.
Bonus fun fact- the spam email has no unsubscribe.
*** Update ***
A big shout-out to the pricks who, without hitting paypal, subscribed me to Ann Coulter, Human Events, and Our Lady of the Succulent Onion Ring. Seriously, I will read the shit if you inform me you hit paypal. Oherwise, just DIAF.
2th&nayle
Hahahahahaha! I didn’t do it! Hahahahahaha!
Ronin122
Could be worse, it could have been a subscription to some Palin PAC or something by Melanie Morgan. Then again, those would have comedic value at least….
MikeJ
Did Laura W ever seek out Jumilla wines?
SrirachaHotSauce
Yo soy el innocente.
I never subscribe anybody but me to anything. That’s basically vandalism. I hope you catch the sob.
Mike
Ooo that no unsubscribe is a fat can spam violation. Easy to report, might cost the Vitter folks some $$ in a fine.
Here is the link to report:
http://www.ftc.gov/opa/2004/07/newspamemail.shtm
Although, I’d prefer punching him in the neck the report might be a consolation. :P
JK
Would you prefer updates from Michele Bachman?
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
@SrirachaHotSauce: That’s basically vandalism. I hope you catch the sob.
Seconded, except for once I signed up a friend for the Kraft Macaroni and Cheese fan club. He was into the stuff, so that was OK, and he dug the premium Cheeseasaurus Rex wrist pouch he got for joining.
Oh, and Sriracha sauce = teh awesome.
gbear
@JK:
In comic book form?
I must have.
Laura W
@MikeJ: No. Have not been up to my favorite S. Asheville wine bar but will be going up soon. On the list. Keep on me. I’m a slacker!
Colonel Danite
Does he provide ratings for his favorite escorts?
Cap'n Phealy
It was the Republican Party, John. They want you back, anyway they can do it.
Look, they’re all standing over there in the corner, beckoning you. Can’t you hear them? “One of us! One of us! One of us!…”
Bill E Pilgrim
Ah, a practical joke. Well it’s nice to see that you’re pampered by your readers.
Turgidson
Just send his office a poo-filled diaper and a polite but firm note that you don’t want to get emails from him anymore. That should do the trick.
SrirachaHotSauce
@Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist:
Thank you, I will take that as a condiment.
JK
@gbear:
Very cool.
I get my Michele Bachman updates on construction paper written in crayon.
Turgidson
@SrirachaHotSauce:
My friend refers to you as “Hot Cock.” Thoughts?
Death By Mosquito Truck
@Turgidson:
Your friend sounds like a little dreamer.
sluggahjells
Cavs vs Magic, Game 5 thread.
Can LeBron save his team in the 4th?
http://www.thewholedelivery.com/2009/05/sports-thread-2-for-52809-magic-vs-cavs.html
Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse
So no new friend for Tunch this week?
gbear
I think that I shall never meet
A poem flakey as a tweet.
A tweet whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the screen’s augmented breast;
A tweet that looks at John all day,
And lifts its vapid leg to spray;
A tweet that may in summer tear
A fist of John’s unruly hair;
Upon whose brain cells sludge has lain;
Who intimately lives with pain.
Poems are made by folks so sweet,
But ADD can make you tweet.
JK
Republican Pronunciation Derangement Syndrome
Obama went American on it after his initial NPR-like effort at PC ethnophonics, settling on something like “Soda-meyer.” I heard Kenneth Duberstein trying to be PC on Sotomayor’s name in an interview, but he kept pronouncing it “Sotomay-aire,” as if she were of French extraction. As for Soto-mah-YOR, I’m an American. It’s Soduh-myer.
http://www.julescrittenden.com/2009/05/27/you-say-soto-my-yor-i-say-soda-meyer
During the presidential campaign, Obama made sure to say Pahk-ee-stahn at every opportunity. He never said Frahns, or Deutschland, or Rus, or even Keh-bec.
http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=OGQwYjJlYTg2M2IyMzgwNzExYWVlOTMyMmQwYTcwNGQ=
But Can She Pronounce “Sotomayor”
http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=OGU3MmRlNjNjMmY1ZjNjYTA2NDdhNGJmNGE0Mjk3Nzk=
bend
i once called Jews for Jesus and pretended to be my younger brother and expressed interest in joining
Four years later they still call him every couple of months.
dan
If you inflict us with an ad for “Ann Coulter — Free!”, you can hardly fault your readers for retaliating.
Ninerdave
You realize, considering this zoo that infests your comments section, that you’re just asking to be signed up for more lists.
Oh, and I’m watching the national spelling bee. It’s actually entertaining. Probably has to do with the fact that I could never spell for shit. Only D and F I ever received in school was spelling. Luckily, my parents bought an original IBM PC and WordPerfect (with spellcheck) soon after.
SrirachaHotSauce
@Turgidson:
I’m a condiment.
Your friend is rude.
wasabi gasp
This post kind of reminds me how crack was “advertised” on every friggin news program until it really became a hit with the kiddies.
rob!
Because no Republican can ever, ever imagine anyone not wanting to be a Republican.
Bill E Pilgrim
@JK:
“Frahns”??
No, and he didn’t say “Hans” either.
Sheesh. Yes it’s a rounder “a” but it’s the same sound at the end, NRO yokels.
Tim F.
Yeah, I get the Traditional Values Coalition and James Pethokoukis. My email somehow disappeared in the site update, so maybe it was a parting gift from one of our old-time rightwingers.
At least Pethokoukis took me off his chain list after I told him that I’d bill him for the minutes of my life lost skimming his pitiful screeds.
Little Dreamer
@Turgidson:
I’m the only judge of that. I don’t kiss and tell either. ;)
SrirachaHotSauce
@Turgidson:
How did you get a friend?
Little Dreamer
@Death By Mosquito Truck:
Nope, wasn’t me.
and John? Nope, that wasn’t me either.
Little Dreamer
@dan:
Personally, I would like my world to be Ann Coulter free. ;)
Josh Hueco
Knowing the reprobates who frequent this site it’s a minor miracle you weren’t signed up for NAMBLA updates.
Wile E. Quixote
@Colonel Danite
Yes, and reviews of which adult diapers are most absorptive.
asiangrrlMN
@gbear: Yep yep yep! I gotta get me a copy. Holla! Our very own wingnutter.
Oh, and John, wasn’t me. Only because I hadn’t thought of it.
Comrade Luke
John, what are your thoughts about having Big Ben courtside cheering on LeBron and CLEVELAND?
Given the rivalry between the two cities I never thought I’d see something like that.
Turgidson
@SrirachaHotSauce:
The way everyone does. Excessive bribery.
JK
@Bill E Pilgrim:
Pathetic whining by wingnuts about Obama’s pronunciation of various words is just one more example of how warped, frustrated, and delusional the conservative movement has become.
C Nelson Reilly
@bend:
In 1985 I used to work nights and got home at 4:00 am. I’d tune in Jim and Tammy Bakker, pick up a beer and a phone, and sign up unsuspecting friends and enemies for the free info and prayer cloth. I have a framed Robert Tilton poster in my office that’s titled “The 21-Day Prayer of Agreement Miracle Campaign” that RT sent me to put on my refrigerator and place my hand on the photographic life-size image of his hand once a day for 21 days and do some praying so “God will give me a miracle.” As far as I can tell the miracle hasn’t happened yet but I’m still hoping for one.
Josh Hueco
@Comrade Luke:
Ben was born in Lima and attended Miami (OH). I don’t think it’s out of line. There’s no NBA franchise in Pittsburgh so I guess it’d be understandable if he defaulted to his home-state team.
Wile E. Quixote
Dinner tonight is hamburgers with Bleu cheese and cracked pepper mixed into the patties with sauteed mushrooms and onions, cheddar and pepper jack cheese and a side of sauteed spinach, onions and mushrooms seasoned with ground Chipotle peppers. I would have put some Dijon mustard on except it really doesn’t go with the pepper jack and besides, I figured that I was being unAmerican enough by eating Bleu cheese and Chipotle peppers.
asiangrrlMN
@JK: “In flyover county, they don’t say _______”. I find it incredibly frustrating to hear the Village pundits talk about flyover country like we’re all a bunch of hicks and rubes.
Little Dreamer
@C Nelson Reilly:
You’ll be waiting a long time, God doesn’t work through moneychangers. ;)
KRK
For those interested in the continuing nonsense in the “where’s the birth certificate?” community, the crazy dentist/”lawyer” Orly Taitz managed to completely bungle responding to the libel complaint filed against her by competing birther attorney Phil Berg. Taitz FedEx’d her response directly to Berg, apparently thinking that would satisfy the court’s electronic filing requirement. Oops. Berg is now trying to get a default judgment against her. McKinnion has the details.
JK
@Comrade Luke:
LeBron once wore a Yankee cap to an Indians/Yankees playoff game in Cleveland.
SrirachaHotSauce
@Turgidson:
I think you live in a more upscale trailer park than I thought.
C Nelson Reilly
@Little Dreamer:
I didn’t win the Powerball (yet) if that’s what you mean
Little Dreamer
@KRK:
OMG she really DID get her law degree online. I thought that was just a snark comment. What an idiot!
Little Dreamer
@C Nelson Reilly:
Unless that was what you were praying for, that was not what I meant at all. The television evangelicals are the moneychangers, not you (although, I don’t know you, so I’m basing that on the fact that you’re apparently not a television evangelical yourself). ;)
Bill E Pilgrim
Catching up on Thursday’s editorials, David Broder at the WAPO waxes centrist about the confirmation battle and says “I have to believe” that the Republicans will take the high road and not smear, lie, or fear monger during the hearings.
It’s like he’s admitting that it’s his job, officially, to pretend that the Republicans aren’t right wing extremists. Hey, I have to make up shit about them, it’s in my contract.
JK
@asiangrrlMN:
Anyone who thinks Obama’s pronunciation of words is a legitimate topic for discussion deserves a lobotomy ASAP.
NonWonderDog
@JK:
Rus? The fuck?
If he means Russia, it’s Ruh-SEE-ya.
Maybe Belarus? Bay-luh-RUS’ or Bay-luh-RUS-si-ya.
(There’s really no good way to write schwa in phonetic spellings, is there? The unstressed vowels should all be pronounced more-or-less like schwa.)
Mike S
How have you not commented on Erick Erickson’s piece today?
Comrade Luke
Forgot Ben’s Ohio links. My bad.
ARod & Rivera were there cheering James too, which was even harder to watch.
SrirachaHotSauce
@Little Dreamer:
He was a regular on The Match Game, though.
The Other Steve
Hey John! do you have a cell phone # by chance?
I want to sign you up for Norm Coleman’s SMS alerts. :-)
C Nelson Reilly
@Little Dreamer:
I’m not a televangelist but I wouldn’t mind being a cult leader.
asiangrrlMN
Oh, and tonight’s dinner consisted of raw salmon sushi and gouda mac and cheese. How very, very elite of me.
Bill E Pilgrim
@JK:
This I know, but just pointing out that even if he were to go the authentic ferriner route for France it would come out as something like “Frahnce”, not “Franz”
Maybe he was thinking of the Fonz.
Speaking of which, I’m starting to feel guilty reading all these exotic Dijon-laced meals everyone’s reporting making. I had cornflakes for dinner.
srv
You should just get an email for Tunch and have him filter it for you.
I’ve read that they’re working on RSS feeds for cows. You know, cellular/gps/tracking stuff. You can bring up teh google and track them. Might as well give them a blog.
Little Dreamer
@KRK:
So, considering the total sum requested on that entire suit was to the tune of about 5 billion dollars, what do you think is about to happen?
I’m thinking Liberi is going to be a fairly rich woman. you? I’m sure Taitz et al can’t afford 5 billion, but it will wipe her/them out.
I”m also thinking Yosef might want to seek a divorce lawyer.
OMFG!
asiangrrlMN
@JK: Well, duh. I don’t think they will do it voluntarily, though.
The Other Steve
Does anybody know how I can get Ann Althouse’s new blog entries emailed to John?
The Other Steve
Never mind. found it.
Hey John, click on the confirm link! :-)
Little Dreamer
@Mike S:
Because he did?
JK
@Bill E Pilgrim:
Nothing better demonstrates David Broder’s God complex than his quote on Bill Clinton: “He came in here and he trashed the place, and it’s not his place.” I didn’t know that Washington DC and the White House were the personal property of David Broder until I read that sentence.
Given your screen name, have you ever seen the film version of Slaughterhouse Five?
SrirachaHotSauce
@The Other Steve:
Do you have a current extended warranty on your car?
I can help you with that.
Turgidson
Note to self: Don’t eff with Sriracha Hot Sauce.
KRK
John Cole, 5/28/09: “…so help me Allah, if I could figure out which one of you subscribed me to updates from David Vitter, I would punch you in the damned neck.”
John Cole 5/5/09: “If one of you even whispers ‘fiduciary duty’ near me, so help me Allah I will punch you in the damned neck.”
John Cole, 3/21/09: “I would like to take a moment and inform all of the people on this blog and elsewhere in my life who recommended Twilight to me that at some point, when you least expect it, I will punch you in the neck.”
This is my personal favorite, though it sadly lacks a threat of neck-punching:
John Cole, 7/4/08: “You all suck. I think I am done blogging for the day. I have nothing but contempt for you all.”
Love you, too, baby!
JK
@asiangrrlMN:
I hate to see good Internet bandwidth wasted on nonsense like Obama’s birth certificate and his pronunciation habits.
The best way to get even with these neanderthals is kick their goddamn fucking asses on election day in 2010 and 2012.
Bill E Pilgrim
@JK:
Many times. Loved it.
Kurt Vonnegut said that he was one of only about five serious writers in history who were lucky and actually had good movies made of their novels. He said he sat through it three times in a row the first time he saw it.
SrirachaHotSauce
@Turgidson:
Good advice. Start out with something easier, like ranch dressing.
asiangrrlMN
@JK: I know! No matter how many times these memes are effectively dismantled (on this very site, no less), there are still the jerks who simply refuse to accept that they are totally stupid, wrongheaded, and misinformed. That’s why I usually don’t engage with such people. Waste of typing effort.
Little Dreamer
@Turgidson:
Good idea!
KRK
@Little Dreamer: I’m not sure what to expect. I’m pretty sure the court isn’t going to award a $5 billion judgment in any case. Taitz may very well be able to weasel her way back in, if she can get a response in before a default judgment is entered. But can she figure out how to do that and come up with a moderately plausible excuse?. It’ll be interesting. Even if the judgment ultimately goes against her for some lesser amount, I sure wouldn’t want to be the one who tries to collect.
As for her husband, I can’t imagine the marriage is on great footing these days. He got his own lawyer who presumably could have helped Taitz with the filing if they were on amicable terms.
JK
@Bill E Pilgrim:
I’d love to see more films based on novels by serious writers. I’m still holding out hope that someone will eventually make film versions of The Catcher in the Rye and Ralph Ellsion’s Invisible Man.
I think Slaughterhouse Five is an incredibly underrated film and feel the same way about the film version of Mother Night.
Little Dreamer
@KRK:
It appears Orly’s website has been taken down.
Oops! I’m wrong, apparently I guess the news is so incredible that my refreshing the site a few times failed because so many people are reading the blog with their mouths dropped in their lap? I can’t get over this. OMG!
Ninerdave
@Mike S:
DougJ did.
Bret
From a Red State Post about going Galt:
So awesome.
Crusty Dem
Vitter spam email? Unpleasant, but not my style. I’m more the “find you on zabasearch, send your name and address to the Latter Day Saints/Scientologists/Christian Scientists”-type.
CrazyDrumGuy
Are emails from politicians not subject to the CAN-SPAM Act? Congresscritters tend to exempt themselves/their campaigns from these laws, but if they didn’t, the law requires an unsubscribe link.
JK
@asiangrrlMN:
While I’m very grateful that Obama beat McCain, I have a big sinking feeling about the next 4 years because it’s clear that the MSM is simply carrying water for the Republican wingnuts.
This quote from Baltimore Sun TV critic David Zurawik is the most disgusting thing I’ve read in weeks. This asshole is comparing Keith Olbermann’s commentaries and Rachel Maddow’s comments to creeping fascism. David Zurawik is my nominee for scumbag of the week.
OLBERMANN: You saved no one, Mr. Cheney. All you did was help kill Americans.
In the name of God, go.
(END VIDEO CLIP) KURTZ: David Zurawik, what do you make of a cable culture where some of these anchors and hosts get really, really mad, or upset or emotional, and it seems to work for them?
ZURAWIK: Howie, they’re speaking for a visceral response. And honestly — I don’t want to overstate this, Howie, and you know from time to time I do — risk that. But it’s really that path lies fascism. I mean, what we need as a democracy is reliable information. This is the opposite of it. And by the way, that clip of Olbermann just really, I think, encapsulates it. This is a bizarro world or cartoon version of Edward R. Murrow with the cadence and this arch rhetoric and all this, but he is saying madman stuff.
ZURAWIK: Even Rachel Maddow, who is the nicest, with her snide smile and arched eyebrow and mocking, they target people and hold them up for ridicule. It’s exactly what happened in propaganda in the ’30s in Europe.
h/t http://crooksandliars.com/david-neiwert/reliable-sources-david-zurawik-gets
SrirachaHotSauce
@Bret:
That sounds like spoof. Of course, as we often say, when you can’t tell the spoof from the real wingitude, the spoofers win.
Anne Laurie
I think that was actually Sally Quinn’s lament, as quoted by Broder. “The Dean” doesn’t think of himself as God, just as God’s amaneusis. Or rather as Teh Better Peoples’ amaneusis, and who could be more God-like to the Media Village Idiots than the second Mrs. Ben Bradley?
The Other Steve
@SrirachaHotSauce: Fun fact: My Uncle is a former executive of one of the automotive extended warranty companies that got caught calling people. :-)
He retired a few years ago so we can’t blame him.
bago
You get 60 miles outside of a coastal city, you’re in yokel country where Applebee’s is the “good” resturaunt that your mother wants to go to for mother’s day. There are always exceptions, but they are tautologically exceptional, and not worth the time to suss out in such vast tracts of land. Accordingly, most of us just fly over such sparse plots of empty land usually sought by empty minds.
Wile E. Quixote
@Bill E Pilgrim
I’d heard that Breakfast of Champions was pretty awful but Mother Night was brilliant, powerful and faithful to the book.
Guillermo Del Toro is rumored to be considering a remake of Slaughterhouse Five. When asked about it he said:
It will be years before this comes out, the guy has projects coming out the wazoo, but if it’s half as good as Pan’s Labyrinth I’ll be in line to see it. Of course what I’d really like to see is Guillermo Del Toro collaborate with Peter Jackson on an adaptation of Kilgore Trout’s brillant science fiction novel Venus on the Half Shell.
Bill E Pilgrim
@Bret:
Yes, and if one millionaire can do that, just think of what a whole bunch of them can accomplish!
What are the latest unemployment figures again?
JK
@Anne Laurie:
I might be mistaken, but I recall reading several sources that attribute to the quote to Broder.
In the bigger picture the problem is that most members of the Washington Press Corps are very lazy and very dumb.
Recently, Josh Marshall and others have made the point that the MSM is largely still under the spell of Republican spin.
I’m all for hard hitting rigorous scrutiny of Obama, but the MSM is more interested in pursuing nonsensical stories put out there by Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and Glenn Beck.
JK
@Wile E. Quixote:
As much as I loved the film versions of Slaughterhouse Five and Mother Night, I absolutely hated the film version of Breakfast of Champions.
There are so many great novels that are worthy of film adaptations that I don’t see the point of another film version of Slaughterhouse Five.
asiangrrlMN
@JK: Yeah, no kidding. The problem is the Villagers are for the status quo, no matter what. They want to protect the Village, as it were, which usually means leaning conservative. Plus, most of the talking heads are actors, not newspeople. In other words, they are one the TV because they are purty (in some botox sense of the word) if they are women or Serious (in some bland sense of the word) if they are men. As for the Baltimore Sun guy, well, Keith himself did a great WTF moment on him.
I mourn the decline of journalism, but not the demise of newspapers in general.
John Cole
@JK: Actually, it was a Sally Quinn piece in which she quoted Broder about “trashing” the place. What was notable about the Quinn piece was the “villager” quote, which she owns.
I’m up past my bedtime and too lazy to use teh google, but that is how I remember reading it. DougJ will referee for sure, as this is right in his wheelhouse.
Lancelot Link
And then there’s Slapstick.
Zuzu's Petals
@Bill E Pilgrim:
Ken Kesey refused to watch “Cuckoo’s Nest.” Ever.
Anne Laurie
Yeah, and then David Brooks explained that Heartlanders(tm) didn’t want better alternatives to the crap available at Red Lobster and Walmart — being offered tasty food & quality goods would only make them confused & resentful — so it was perfectly fine that the only jobs available to the serfs in flyover country were sub-minimum-wage shifts at Walmart or sharecropping for ConAgra. All is for the best in the best of all possible worlds, according to Bobo Brooks!
I have a short list of people upon whom, if I am ever introduced, I intend to spit. David Brooks has a permanent spot on that list, and would keep it even if he’d never written another word after that disgusting Atlantic cover article.
Ninerdave
Alright I’m seriously pissed off.
I watched the Scripps National Spelling Bee, it was live and a lot of fun as I said above. I’ll assume that I’m not going to spoil anyone’s Tivo when I mention that the winner was Kavya Shivashankar, a 13 year old girl from Kansas.
Here’s what pissed me off.
Kavya, barely got the last letter out of her mouth to win, before some blonde bitch of a judge was up on stage grabbing the mic to intro some bald headed idiot to present the trophy to her and mug for the camera with the winner.
For fucks sake, give the poor girl a chance to relish her victory before pimping your idiot of a CEO. I mean 30, even 15 seconds of her alone would have been fine.
I’ve never been much of a letter writing person, but I sure as shit sent an email, and have stamped a letter to mail tomorrow telling those idiots that was completely unacceptable.
JK
@Zuzu’s Petals:
Kesey was once a guest on Late Night with David Letterman and when asked if he’d seen the film version of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest responded by saying that was like being asked if he wanted to watch his daughter being raped by the Hell’s Angels. He also said Nicholson was a horrible casting choice.
tavella
Sally Quinn wrote the article in which Broder said that quote, it’s the one where she goes around to all her little Villager friends and they all say how awful that Clinton man is.
dr. luba
@Bill E Pilgrim: And it’s not “Rus” (unless you’re talking about 10th century Ukraine), but “Rossiya.”
Idjit.
It’s obvious why they don’t allow comments at NRO.
(Oooops. I see this has been noted by others….)
GReynoldsCT00
John, while there is certainly no shortage of smartasses here, you might also consider one of your darling trolls for the email vandalism…
Sucks for you but it sure makes for an entertaining thread over which to have my morning Community Coffee.
Augustine
@Little Dreamer:
Tell that to Creflo B. Dollar
Krista
Nooo! Don’t do that. It’ll be opened by some innocent staffer who will be traumatized.
That actually happened to me. My boss has a talent for pissing people off, and someone sent him an anonymous package with a shitty diaper in it. We check the mail, so unsuspectingly, I opened up the package…on my desk…where I eat my lunch.
I cried, I couldn’t help it — I was just so freaked out.
Cyrus
@Ninerdave:
I caught a few minutes of it yesterday. Unfortunately, it was ESPN. Are sports commentators as comically wrong about sports as they were about spelling? The voice-over was pontificating about what the hard part of spelling “thylacine” was. And got it wrong, at least IMO.
Little Dreamer
@Augustine:
Looking at his website he apparently teaches prosperity doctrine. Why should I be surprised? Creflo Dollar seems to have been aptly named.
The Other Steve
Moohahaha!
Ok, ok, I’ll hit paypal. :-)
The Other Steve
Done, you got paypal.