Newt Gingrich today on Palin 2012:
“If Sarah Palin seeks out a group of sophisticated policy advisers and spends time developing a series of fairly sophisticated positions,” Gingrich said during his 33rd visit to the Christian Science Monitor breakfast series, “she is very formidable.”
I’m not quite sure what sophisticated (even with the modifier “fairly) might mean here. Maybe it means she’ll be putting Prada on the RNC credit card instead of Saks this time around.
But Newt’s not alone in thinking that Sarah may be the future of the GOP (from Rasmussen):
the plurality of GOP voters (43%) say their party has been too moderate over the past eight years, and 55% think it should become more like Alaska Governor Sarah Palin in the future…
Bear in mind that Scott Rasmussen is conservative pollster who likely has a hard-on for Palin in various senses of that expression. And I’ve underestimated the craziness of the Republican party before.
But, seriously, they’re not really going to do this, are they?
Andre
You betcha.
TenguPhule
BJ’s unofficial motto.
Brian J
I don’t know if she’d necessarily win with the sort of advisers that she’d seek out should she want to approach policy-making with a bit more diligence. Perhaps she’d find a more moderate path in economics was appropriate, or maybe she’d double down on the libertarian-style preachings about taxes and regulation. In any event, should she seek the advice of such people, be they academics, other government officials, or anyone else who is qualified, she could, with a lot of hard work, look like a much more serious candidate.
The problem is, there’s very little that most of us know about that implies she’d take such a path. Instead, there’s quite a bit to suggest that she’d approach governing with the sort of superficial extremity that made so many people look at her like she was dangerous and unqualified. In other words, if she sinks once again, the reasons won’t come as a shock to anyone.
Joshua Norton
If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we’d all have a merry Christmas.
Seriously. If all they can do is fantasize on how to make Caribou only seem smarter then they’ve got nothing. She’ll still come across as having the IQ of a bowl of lukewarm soup the first time she veered off message.
fledermaus
She’s not dead, she’s just pining for the fjords
jibeaux
oh please oh please oh please oh please
TheFountainHead
Excellent…
/Mr. Burns
Cabernet
"and spends time developing a series of fairly sophisticated positions"
Isn’t this an admission that she doesn’t have sophisticated positions yet and that the GOP ran with a simpleton candidate?
Krista
And if my aunt had balls, she’d be my uncle.
Palin developing sophistication and good judgment are about as likely as Rush Limbaugh expressing genuine remorse for being an asshole. Neither are going to happen, so speculating about it is just plain silly.
SpotWeld
If she couldn’t get it together for a VP bid (probably the best she could hope for within the GOP), she’ll never get a coherent political force together.
She’d be better off blogging at RedState.
TenguPhule
Hey Krista, be fair!
Should at some point in the future someone stick a loaded gun to Rush’s head, he will express remorse so genuine that the butter his gut is made of will not melt.
Justin
This is the classic pattern for incumbent parties that lose in a landslide. The rump that’s left is the diehards, the purists, the orthodox few. It’s a natural sort of doubling down. The moderates and centrists are gone, and all that’s left are the ones who think they weren’t "conservative enough."
The people who understand that it’s less about purity of policy than about understanding how to sell yourself to a winning majority won’t sign on for another round terrorist baiting, leaving only the true believers to run the show.
If we don’t get Palin in 2012, it’ll be someone like her. Although, in fairness, they did just elect Michael Steele as head of the RNC, who ran pretending to be a democrat in 2006. There’s someone who understands how much shit the Republican brand is in.
gnomedad
Can Krista win comment of the year two years in a row? No fair!!
corwin
Let me see … Intellectual lightweight running for president, with a power mongering lunatic behind the scenes, maybe setting himself up as VP. Where have I seen this before?
maxbaer (not the original)
If I were a GooPer, I think I’d want a backup plan.
The McCain camp never vetted her before they picked her and she is not being vetted by anyone now because there’s no reason to.
So, if they pin all their little hopes and dreams on her that could lead to some rude awakenings.
Krista
I didn’t make that one up, gnomedad. That’s a fairly common expression…sort of a vulgar (yet delightfully pithy) derivative of "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride."
Glad you liked it, though. :)
The Grand Panjandrum
Cole claims in his subtitle that he’s been consistently wrong since 2002 so you’re in good company.
TenguPhule
Given that this quote was borrowed from another source, I’d say no.
Balconesfault
@Joshua Norton:
And that mattered how much to a significant portion of the American public for about 5 years?
Really, I do think that Palin is capable of regurgitating right wing blather about geopolitics and the economy and coming off sounding as intelligent as Bill Krystol … which is apparently good enough for the NY Times and WaPo, not to mention a host of Sunday Morning shows.
gnomedad
@Krista:
Oh, yes, I’ve heard it, but timeliness counts, too. Still in use in the 24th century in bowdlerized form, as a matter of fact (see Star Trek III).
KRK
I just don’t see all the other would-be Republican nominees rolling over to make way for Palin.
Chuck Butcher
I asked late in another thread what you would do if you were the GOP? Does somebody propose the become Democrats? I don’t know what they could do that would work, but it is pretty easy to kick ’em, and I don’t mind that.
Punchy
Perhaps Palin will campaign topless. That’s about the only way I’d pay attention.
TheFountainHead
Fixt 4 joo, sur.
amorphous
@Punchy: BOOBS? WHERE?
TheFountainHead
She’s gonna have to do better than topless if she wants me to sit through one of her screeds.
kommrade reproductive vigor
Remind me again why anyone with two brain cells to bang together gives a fuck what Newt says?
Even the Repubs must be sick of him. All he does is stand on the sidelines shouting "HAR HAR, UR DOIN IT RONG!"
2liberal
@punchy
she’s in her mid 40s with what, 5 kids? lets NOT go there, please! you sound like a republican.
Face
she’s from Alaska. I’m not so sure you wanna a glimpse of that bear trap. Well camoflaged, (s)natch.
Obligatory Cole disclaimer: SARAH PALIN IS A NICE PERSON.
mr. whipple
dood, check this:
"When GOP congressional aides gather Tuesday morning for a meeting of the Conservative Working Group, Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher – more commonly known as Joe the Plumber — will be their featured guest. This group is an organization of conservative Capitol Hill staffers who meet regularly to chart GOP strategy for the week."
http://news.yahoo.com/s/politico/20090203/pl_politico/18324;_ylt=AkNMxmOCLaVDuBU6q7UHH9ys0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTFlNTlsaDRtBHBvcwM4NQRzZWMDYWNjb3JkaW9uX3BvbGl0aWNzBHNsawNqb2V0aGVwbHVtYmU-
BombIranForChrist
If a horse could turn into a bird, then it could fly.
Brian J
Exactly how is that? I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just curious. I’ve heard him described as a more moderate Republican to a diehard conservative in the last few days and know very little about him, except that he has an irritating personality on TV.
Face
@mr. whipple: This is worthy of a post.
The R’s in CONGRESS are actually taking NotJtNotP seriously. Meanwhile, dozens of Onion writers are slamming their head into walls in frustration.
amorphous
@mr. whipple: I would be giddily jumping up and down laughing were it not for the fact that these people still have major influence in how the country is being governed.
August J. Pollak
Exactly how is that? I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just curious.
He’s referring to this.
As far as Palin goes, I cannot wait to see candidates like Mitt Romney and Tim Pawlenty curbstomp her into the ground. She almost deserves it.
Stating for the record now: the SNL sketch parodying Pawlenty and Palin facing off in a GOP debate will be the most-YouTubed video of 2011. 90 minutes of the cast of Fargo talking about tax cuts.
John Cole
Wanna bet:
Seriously. When does Andy Kaufman come out?
russell
55% think it should become more like Alaska Governor Sarah Palin in the future…
Plenty of airlines fly to Juneau. They can all buy a ticket and go there. God knows there’s plenty of room.
All the moose you can shoot, Sarah Palin is your chief executive, and the only time the government bugs you is when they send you a check.
Republican nirvana.
John Cole
Never mind. I see Whipple was there first.
Justin
@Brian J: August got it, but there was more to it than that, including signs he handed out saying "Steele Democrat" on two lines:
Steele
Democrat
On a blue background. There were also fake ballots he distributed that made him look like the Democratic candidate. When challenged, he claimed he was trying to revive the phrase "Reagan Democrat" in his own name.
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
The Silent Fiddle of Nero
Yes, I think they will… and won’t it be fun to watch?
Fencedude
@Face:
Meanwhile, dozens of Onion writers are slamming their head into walls in frustration.
Professional snark writers are going to need a bailout at this rate.
Comrade Stuck
Joe the plumber – failed plumber, reporter, campaigner, will try his hand at political strategy and if that fails, will sing "The Impossible Dream" from Man of La Mancha.
The Silent Fiddle of Nero
I don’t think so. I think they’d be stupid enough to pin the blame on all the godless liberals and try it again. This is, after all, a war of ideology. They will not surrender.
The Silent Fiddle of Nero
and (in) B(e) Flat!
dr. bloor
Either that or balloon animals.
Johnny Pez
@John Cole:
Yeah, but the Kaufman ref was gold.
@Krista:
But Krista, it would be irresponsible not to speculate!
gnomedad
Thank God Obama won, or this guy would be up for the Supreme Court next. The Repubs are rapidly approaching an absolute zero of political substance.
The Silent Fiddle of Nero
Oh, come now, we don’t enforce pretense here. Perhaps you cannot get away with calling her a b*tch, but, that doesn’t mean you have to lie.
TheHatOnMyCat
If Sarah is not a b*tch, then who is?
KG
Fuck an eh. How the fuck was Newt two heartbeats away from the presidency at one point? I know the GOP’s bench isn’t exactly "deep" but come the fuck on. It’s like they want those few people like me who still lean toward them as a default position to leave them completely.
At some point, I really hope both parties realize that "there’s no place else for them to go" only lasts so long.
DougJ
I have to agree with that. I’m not big on using the word “bitch”, but if the shoe fits.
The Silent Fiddle of Nero
Ann (the man) Coulter? You gotta admit, Ann is much worse.
TheHatOnMyCat
I know, but you nailed it. I have a hard time thinking of her as a woman. I have a pretty clear idea what a woman is, and she is just not it.
DougJ
I disagree. Coulter says outrageous things, but she doesn’t quite have the bitchy edge to it that Palin does. When Palin said “Being mayor is like being a community organizer, except with actual responsibilities” with that smug little look on her face, that was bitchier than a whole Coulter book.
Palin is really a vile, nasty person. And I don’t say that about too many of these nuts (I’d say it about 9iu11iani as well, but that’s about it among people involved in the 2008 campaign).
TheAssInTheHatOnMyCat(Formerly Comrade Tax Analyst)
Shorter Sarah, "Why Think when you cab Wink?"
And just how much plastic surgery is it going to take to maintain her looks all the way to 2012? I think there’s about a 40% chance of her looking like Katherine Harris by then. There ain’t wink in the world big enough to make that work.
The Silent Fiddle of Nero
Oh, I’m not saying Palin isn’t a vile and nasty person, she most certainly is. I do detect that bitchy edge with Coulter though.
Perhaps Palin is worse, and she just hasn’t had enough chance to prove it to me yet. The next election in 2012 may prove to be that opportunity. ;)
Reverend Dennis
55% of the Republican party think their wives should look more like Alaska Governor Sarah Palin.
fixt
Martin
GOP sophisticated positions:
1. Cut taxes
2. Oppress the gheys
3. Nobody can have sex
4. Democrats are traitors and must be opposed all the time
5. Invade anyone who doesn’t speak english
Done.
The Silent Fiddle of Nero
A majority of current Republicans want the entire party to be dumber than a box of rocks? Well, that wish has already been granted. Somebody better tell them. ;)
TheHatOnMyCat
Sweetheart, we are talking about people who are sure that dinosaurs walked in the March of Dimes.
How much dumber can these guys get?
libarbarian
@Brian J
Damn straight.
Her advantages, like charisma, are largely innate. He weaknessess (as a candidate if not as an office holder), however, can largely be fixed by proper coaching.
A lot of less partisan people are going to give Palin the benefit of the doubt if she comes back sounding like she spent the intervening four years doing the due diligence.
I agree with you, but it’s kind of early to really tell.
If she makes the classic mistake of listening to the fanboys, and sticks with the "Hockey-mom for the pro-America parts of this country" then she will probably lose in 2012.
OTOH, if she comes back capable of saying at least coherent things about econ and foreign policy, then she might have a shot – especially if the economy still sucks.
libarbarian
GOD DAMN IT!!!!!
If Joe the Plumber can consult with these doods, I should be commanding 7 figure speaking fees!!!
This is bullshit!!!!!
Reverend Dennis
Parroting the words of people more intelligent than she is might indeed carry her all of the way to the presidency. She strikes me as an essentially stupid person and the results of her term in office would be the end of the Republican party and America’s return to the Steam Age.
libarbarian
I’m confining my remarks to her potential as a candidate.
I agree that she would probably be a disaster if allowed to be ‘The Decider’.
Keith
Not only that, but Nestor the Busboy will also be on hand to personally visit each and every table to take questions (and plates) from those attending.
Surreal American
This thread serves as a reminder to me that the delux edition of Being There (1979) is going to be released tomorrow.
Then again, why buy the film when you can live it.
Palin/Wurzelbacher 2012!
libarbarian
If I have nightmares about this I’m blaming you!!!
It’s like we all know our parents did the nasty but you don’t want to hear anything explicit.
Damn you.
Surreal American
@Surreal American:
Actually that wasn’t fair of me. Chance the Gardener is much nicer in fiction than Palin and JtP are in real life.
The Silent Fiddle of Nero
How about ‘Jesus is going to fly through the air, pluck me out of the sky and carry me off to live a new life in a world that exists but nobody can see, where his ethereal "father" has built a bunch of mansions for televangelists who beg for hooker money from poor white haired ladies’ dumb?
TheHatOnMyCat
Damn, that is some serious dumb.
But, basically, yes, that’s them. So the way I see it, Sarah Palin is a step up for these folks.
CatStaff
What’s her remake going to look like, though? Coming out on stage and saying, "Welp, ya know, four years ago I was in my mid-40s, having spent my entire life pretty much a white trash grifter who’s gotten by on my looks and being perky, to say nothing of my habit of stabbing various mentors in the back so that I could climb over their carcasses after they helped me out in my very small pond. Oh, and I’ve got some, shall we say, interesting religious views that I thought just everyone ought to share, by force if necessary. None of that worked out as well as I wanted in 2008, so I’ve spent the last four years becoming intelligent, well-read, thoughtful, humble, compassionate, with a firm grasp of the nuances of various economic and geopolitical situations around the globe, and with solutions in hand that have received rousing bipartisan backing. I really, really promise." ?
I’m not saying the nutbags won’t be delighted to have her back (although they might find that her much-vaunted looks had suffered somewhat in the intervening years, as is common to most of us), but the electorate already had her flopping on the dock in 2008, and flung her back.
Conservatively Liberal
Fix’t.
Fix’t.
I am really sorry for you. I wouldn’t watch her if she was live on TV, naked, covered in chocolate pudding, whipped cream, and working herself over with a zucchini while riding a Sybian Orgasm Machine.
Fix’t.
Fix’t moar bettah.
AnneLaurie
Oh, you *wish*. Cheney me no Cheneys; Newt The Gingrich has a cunning plan to run for President in 2012 on the ever-popular Spite Platform, aka "Four years of Obama in office, and yet a significant proportion of the voting public still has well-deserved self-esteem issues and a burning suspicion that Those People are laughing at him behind his back — vote Republican, all you Dwight Schrutes!" Gingrich is "modestly" presenting Palin as a potential threat to his own eventual (self-imagined) coronation so that it will look that much more dramatic when (he imagines) she is slain, butchered & field-dressed live on camera by His Royal Newt-ness. I think he misunderestimates Bible Spice much as he did Teh Clenis back in 1994, and I anticipate (with a certain dread) watching the Gingrich-vs-Palin battles, which should make Alien vs. Predator look like a White House Easter Egg Roll.
Steeplejack
The GOP has been coasting on demagoguery, fear-mongering and jingoism for so long that they are desperate to avoid the heavy lifting of thinking up useful, coherent policies and plausible ways to implement them. Those muscles are way out of shape, if not completely atrophied.
Now, having failed dismally in the recent election–they couldn’t even beat a black secret Muslim!–they are living that nightmare scenario from college* where you realize that you have missed so much of a class that no amount of last-minute cramming is going to save your ass, so you have to fall back on the "drop with honor" option. "Uh, Professor, I’ve been called home to run the family farm because Pappy got gored by the bull, so I’m gonna have to drop your class. Can I get an ‘incomplete,’ please? And this won’t affect my GPA, right?"
The Republicans see Sarah Palin as their "incomplete" card–a free chance for a do-over without any of that exhausting policy work. McCain plucked her out of nowhere to be the V.P. candidate–for which she was completely unqualified–but now, because of that candidacy, they see her as a viable, even potentially formidable, presidential candidate? WTF?!
Right. She just needs a few cosmetic details like "a group of sophisticated policy advisers and [. . .] a series of fairly sophisticated positions.” (Note that they don’t have to be good, just "sophisticated.") Good luck with that.
And what the hell does Newt Gingrich know about sophisticated policy positions? The high points of his career in the House were the "Contract with America," which had all the sophistication of an Amway brochure, and shutting down the government apparently because Bill Clinton made him sit in the back of Air Force One. And now he rides the rubber-chicken circuit and writes bad "alternative history" novels. Jeebus.
(* Not that this ever happened to anyone here.)
TenguPhule
Corrected for accuracy.
TenguPhule
JFCNTZYM, CL!
I CAN’T UNSEE IT!!!
TenguPhule
Rush Limbaugh, Supreme Court Justice.
Johnny Pez
Fixed.
Beej
Seems our girl Caribou Barbie might have lost some luster with those folks from "the real America" tonight. According to Olbermann, she declined an invitation to attend some sort of retreat with members of the Repub base pleading heavy responsibilities back home in Alaska. Instead, she attended the Alfalfa Club dinner in D.C. and stood in line to shake Obama’s hand. According to Olbermann, the Alfalfa Club dinner is so exclusive that even members of the Alfalfa Club beg to be allowed to attend. Apparently, one of the down home folks in Virginia who had issued her the other invitation said, "She lied to us!"
Heh, heh, heh. Snicker. Oh, what the hell: Guffaw, Guffaw, Guffaw.
Surreal American
Redundancy deleted. Even though I admit those types of novels are a guilty pleasure of mine.
Conservatively Liberal
@TenguPhule:
Tis the risk of being a BJer. Yer jus kolateral damnage. ;)
Zuzu's Petals
@Face:
I dunno, it’s hard to imagine even junior staffers giving a flying fark what "Joe" the "Plumber" thinks about the stimulus. I mean…think about it.
Bubblegum Tate
I agree with this, actually, to a point. She’s already got the lowest-common-denominator thing going for her (very important in American politics), and they just need to make sure she can recite the talking points with confidence instead of in her language-mauling ways. If she does that, she can convince people that she has actually learned substantive stuff (remember: lowest common denominator) and isn’t the jabbering idiot we saw in the last campaign. Remember: She only has to appeal to GOPers and some of the less discerning independents.
That said, I think this is an unlikely scenario; just not as unlikely as most people seem to think it is. And I would certainly enjoy the Cavalcade of Stupid.
Alexander Woods
I certainly hope that they do end up doing it. Four years just isn’t enough time to get her up to speed. I think she’d do well in the primaries and fail miserably after that.
Of course, I’m saying this with some maybe undue respect for the intelligence of the general population.
Zuzu's Petals
@DougJ:
Which reminded me of this stellar comment by Roland Martin of CNN.
She and Rudy deserve to have their faces rubbed in this for the rest of their impoverished little lives.
Zuzu's Petals
Uh oh, duplicate.
headpan
But it doesn’t seem to matter, does it? They make their own reality. If they say more tax cuts will stimulate the economy, the corporate media takes that, runs with it, and spends hours on teevee discussing it with bobbleheads as if this could actually be a legitimate (albeit disproven)solution. None of them have made sense for years and yet they are still being taken seriously, so why not Sarah, after she’s had a few Fair Lady treatments?
SLKRR
87 comments and not one mention of peak wingnut yet?
Laura W
@SLKRR:
Nor kudos for the title?
Now that it’s 7:30am, I see this is a lovely little title, DougJ.
At 5:30am, not noticing so much.
bob h
Why should we discourage them from doing this? Let them put their hopes and resources into a candidate who will never be anything more than a joke.
SGEW
I was crushed . . . crushed . . . when Andy didn’t pop up behind the podium when John McCain conceded on Nov. 4th. My whole lovely "greatest performance art piece in the history of humankind" theory fell apart. (He would have revealed that John McCain was being performed by Phil Hartman*, and then a wrestling match with Sarah Palin would have ensued. Andy would have lost the match, of course.)
This is why I must now work on my "Barack Obama is Lord Vetinari" beneficial tyrant analogy theory (Plouffe as Drumknott? Palin as the Bursar?). Andy let me down, badly.
*Who else could have pulled off the "HEEENNGHH?" lines with such aplomb?
DougJ
@Laura W
Thank you for noticing. I was quite happy with it myself.
Maxwel
Sarah and the GOP:
"This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end"
Steeplejack
@Johnny Pez:
Point taken.
Steeplejack
@Surreal American:
I have nothing against the genre, but the one I looked at by Gingrich–okay, by someone else with Gingrich posing as cowriter–was dreadfully, wretchedly bad. Right down to basic grammar mistakes.
Svensker
Yeah, but what if Joe the Plumber was involved?
HRA
95 responses and no one has mentioned the word, elitist or the Nieman Marcus shopping spree as a starter.
Newt said sophisticated and meant elitist.
Sarah will be ready to capture the moderate or sophisticated Republicans. Right now the list of designers used by Michele Obama is being made and studied.
After all wouldn’t you copy the winner rather than the loser.
Please do not assume that 4 years will change her looks into a hag. I have relatives in their 50s, 60s and 70s without any facial lines/wrinkles. It’s all in the genes.
Amit Joshi
Well, duh, DougJ. Isn’t it obvious that "sophisticated group of advisors" = any group which includes the Newt?!? Can’t a guy angle for a job/relevance without everyone dumping on him, or worse, missing the fucking point??
Persia
Coulter– while I hate her– I always get the impression she’s kind of a performance artist too. She’s in it to sell books. With Palin I get the nasty impression that she believes a good deal of the bile she spouts.
Wile E. Quixote
Here’s what I’m afraid of. Everyone keeps talking about what a complete and total fucking tard Sarah Palin is. I mean she’s stupid, she’s done nothing with her life, she’s governor of a state that hardly matters and not much of a governor at that and everyone keeps saying "Ha, there’s no way she could get elected in 2012, bring it on" all the while forgetting about the last eight years under George W. Bush, who was stupid, had done nothing with his life and was governor in a state where being governor hardly mattered.
Given the fact that we elected Bush twice (Look, work with me on the Y2K election thing, there’s no way that Bush should have gotten that close and no, it’s not Nader’s fault either.) says to me that we should keep an eye on Palin and not just get all smug, self-congratulatory and stupid. Obama has been in office for less than two weeks and despite what everyone is saying there has not been a sea-change in American politics, yet and while "George W. Bush with Tits" becoming president in 2012 is a remote possibility it is, nonetheless, a possibility.
Let’s not be fucking stupid like those morons on Wall Street who assumed that real estate prices would always continue to rise or Karl Rove with his "permanent Republican majority" because if we behave that way then history will happen to us, and boy will it suck!
MikeF
R: "Well, there was a pool showing 70% of Republicans want Sarah Palin to run again."
D: " Well, 100% of Democrats want her to run again."