My anger translator has to be the Liberal Redneck. I almost always feel better after I listen to him.
Of course, no one is as good as Luther.
HBO actually made a compilation episode of Key & Peele as Obama’s anger translator. Who knew?
I’ll be back in about 20 minutes after I watch these videos.
Who is your anger translator?
Totally open thread.
Updated to add. Excellent link from Jim, Foolish Literalist.
WaterGirl
I miss Christmas cookies, ice cream and all the chocolates I got for Christmas. I am still mostly eating out of my freezer because I am trying not to go to the grocery store, but I am going to have to go to the store soon.
sab
My husband is my anger translator. Twenty years of marriage and I have talked him off a bunch of ledges, and he has talked me off about two.
Old School
John Cole.
frosty
It’s either Cole or Tony Jay, depending on how much time I have on my hands.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
Ragnarok Lobster and A Gray Bee .
HumboldtBlue
@WaterGirl:
I forgot my frozen vegetables yesterday in my first trip to the market since before Xmas. Had to walk to corner store and get a can of peas and carrots for shepherd’s pie.
My anger translator better have a master’s degree in cursing because I am good and varied.
WaterGirl
Here on Balloon Juice, for me it’s Betty Cracker. Though I do love a good Cole rant.
Gin & Tonic
@frosty: By the time you finish reading a Tony Jay post, an hour has passed and you’ve forgotten what you were supposed to be angry about.
WaterGirl
@Gin & Tonic: Good one!
Chetan Murthy
Lotta anger today. Sinema tagging-in on the voting rights beatdown, the Illegitimate Six deciding to murder Americans b/c reasons. Sigh.
Yarrow
I can get plenty good and angry and no one needs a translator. Comes through loud and clear.
In fact I’m pretty sure the middle school kid who hit me in the head with his frisbee today knew exactly how I felt about it.
Jay
I don’t have an anger translator, I just have anger when I need it.
schrodingers_cat
Don’t need one.
Alison Rose
Honestly, the way Luther says “hello” is what cracks me up the most.
Chetan Murthy
@Jay: It would be nice to have someone who was verbally saltier than I feel inside, so that I could feel like they were my anger translator. But the anger and frustration is so unbounded these days.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
Did Obama (the real one) make that HBO clip?
Benw
@WaterGirl: mask up and go silent and fast, ninja style.
rikyrah is mine, since we don’t have ABL
Jay
@Chetan Murthy:
being able to use curse words as punctuation, pronouns and verbs in a solid string along with assumptions about genealogy helps.
It’s a practiced skill.
I am nice up to a line, make it clear where the line is,…..
cross it at your own peril,
More and more these days it’s Covidiots and grifters.
debbie
I’m my own anger translator.
debbie
@Benw:
That’s my shopping style too. Also, always on early Saturday morning when the populace is sleeping off their Friday night
Poe Larity
It used to be dengre, but he only retweets now.
Suzanne
The NYT Pitchbot.
Gin & Tonic
@Poe Larity: Shame he didn’t show up for any of the 20th anniversary threads.
Ruckus
@HumboldtBlue:
My anger translator is my ability to swear. First job other than delivering newspapers was working in a machine shop. In a machine shop you have to be able to swear over the noise to make yourself heard and understood. Fortunately you have others around to teach you the words and how to deliver them. By the time I enlisted in the navy I could be any 4 people’s anger translator at the same time. Always take pride in a fucking job fucking done well. That’s a tiny freebee.
Suzanne
I want there to be a specific term for the meth-and-PBR-burly-white-man set. I need my anger translator to make a term.
Argiope
My anger translator has got to be my sister. I’m the older one who grew up more concerned about what other people think. She is the younger one who DNGAF. The other day some older dude in a store asked her why she was wearing a mask. She said under her breath, but loud enough so he could hear her, “because if I want to kill an old man I want the satisfaction of doing it with my bare hands.” He said “OK” and left the scene. I’m still chuckling about that one.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Suzanne: shame DougJ wasn’t able to patent that schtick, cause he’s getting ripped off fifty times a day. And probably a helluva lot more
Ruckus
@schrodingers_cat:
Best 3 words.
Although I’m assuming that you mean this in a positive way, that you suffice on your own merits.
HumboldtBlue
@Ruckus:
I feel ya.
Ruckus
@Argiope:
I like your sister!
SectionH
Tony Jay of course! Did love P&K. Or K&P. Of course.
Otherwise, my face doesn’t need translation.
prostratedragon
Don’t interlace your fingers,
Don’t interlace your fingers!! //shriek
gwangung
My anger translator is Bruce Lee. Words are often not adequate.
frosty
@Gin & Tonic: That’s the truth. I just substitute Tony Jay’s anger (or despair?) for mine and it’s all good.
mrmoshpotato
@WaterGirl: What was for dinner tonight? Just took some Taco Puffs out of the oven.
Ohio Mom
@Argiope: I would steal your sister’s brilliant line but folks around here are generally too polite to ask why someone is wearing a mask. They just passive-aggressively go bare-faced.
mrmoshpotato
@Argiope: That’s good!
Felanius Kootea
I have been told to calm down when upset before I even open my mouth. I am in awe of poker-faced people. No anger translator needed.
Hildebrand
My daughter. Her profanity laced righteous rants have been a balm these past years – especially when she launches about some nitwit, Trump-addicted classmate saying foolish things in class (she is 19). The rant usually erupts as she describes how she verbally shivved said student in class – and now ‘gets to say what I really wanted to say in class.’
And yep, she’s a pastor’s kid, twice over (both my wife and I are Lutheran clergy)
She is amazing.
prostratedragon
Luther actually could work for me. Or Ving Rhames. Or one of the samurai characters like in HaraKiri or the general who loses it at the end of Ran, or maybe the Lone Wolf.
Kalakal
At work I do the not reacting thing, I get satisfaction out of not giving jerks satisfaction.
At home I’m going through a lot of guitar strings.
I used to think I hated Reagan and Thatcher, I now realise that was merely strong dislike
TheTruffle
I was hate-reading a USA Today article that reads like the author is raring for Biden to lose.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2022/01/13/supreme-court-mandates-and-voter-rights-biden-takes-more-losses/6516516001/
Poe Larity
@Argiope: She married? Asking for a friend.
NotMax
Anger is corrosive and should be brought to the buffet of life sparingly.
danielx
Used to be Samuel L. Jackson, but I have grown past the need for a translator. I just start riffing off the expression “pigfucker” and it goes on from there.
Suzanne
Sooooo, update on crazy dude. Apparently the DA’s office approved the warrant but he hasn’t been picked up yet. The officer said that it is his understanding that the dude is still hospitalized with “some psychiatric issues”, you don’t say. Insurance adjuster and door installer come tomorrow. We are supposed to get a big snowstorm on Sunday, so I don’t know if we’ll really be able to clean up the front porch.
patrick II
Are secret service members out of bounds for questions about what they may have heard Trump say? Or are they always ushered out of the room during criminal conspiracies?
danielx
@Suzanne:
Wtf? Fill us in!
zhena gogolia
@Argiope: I don’t need an anger translator, but even I don’t have as much moxie as your sister! lol
danielx
@patrick II:
“… is you taking notes on a criminal fucking conspiracy? What the fuck you thinking man!”
patrick II
@danielx:
I am particularly thinking about people who were with Trump when McCarthy called and might have heard the other side of that conversation. In ad-hoc moments you can’t always clear the room of witnesses ahead of time.
Suzanne
@danielx: On Saturday night, a dude (whose name I now know but I do not want to spread across the internet) was high as a goddamn kite and he ran into my backyard, naked, in the snow, screaming for help. He punched out my window and climbed into my house, cutting himself up on the window. Then he ran around in my house screaming that he was being chased. My husband got him outside on our front porch, where he was arrested and then taken by EMS to a hospital, but not before damaging a bunch of my stuff and leaving kind of a lot of blood.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Suzanne: Jesus, that’s awful
Suzanne
I should be more precise and note that he was handcuffed and subdued by the police, but he was not actually arrested on Saturday night.
Jay
@Suzanne:
don’t worry too much about cleaning up the porch.
fresh blood is generally the worry, ( transmission), not dried/weathered/dead blood.
30 Seconds Clear will clean that right up, later.
Just the door, or was the door frame damaged as well?
Suzanne
One of the many shitty elements of the entire incident was the fact that I had this dude and then five police officers in my house, when we have been trying so hard to keep Spawn the Youngest away from people, since she isn’t vaccinated.
Another Scott
Lots of good choices above.
https://twitter.com/Coldwar_Steve is excellent in presenting visual counterpoints that are kinda like anger translation.
https://twitter.com/IamHappyToast occasionally animates Coldwar Steve’s stuff, and does some excellent original stuff as well.
Both have a strong UK perspective.
In other news, RollCall tells us that Cancun Ted’s Nord Stream 2 sanctions bill failed. It also says:
Interesting…
Cheers,
Scott.
Suzanne
@Jay: The door leaf is split, and I can’t tell if the frame is still in alignment. He crashed around in our kitchen and there is broken floor tile, my Instapot is broken, the coffeemaker is broken, and a few other things in the interior. However, most of the damaged property is outside, because he was held on our front porch for about twenty minutes until the ambulance arrived, and there is a lot of blood on the outdoor furniture, rug, Spawn’s stroller, etc.
Yarrow
@Suzanne: Omicron seems to show up pretty quickly after exposure so another day or so and hopefully everyone is in the clear.
Glad things are moving along for you guys. What a terrible ordeal.
Suzanne
@Yarrow: Well, I started having a sore throat in the last couple of days. I get sore throats a lot, but I am more paranoid now.
Subsole
Marlo Stanfield
Yarrow
@Suzanne: That sucks. Can you do a rapid test?
Another Scott
Good luck, Suzanne and family. You’ve been through a lot. :-(
In other anger translation news, BallsandStrikes.org:
Fight for 15!
It won’t happen quickly, but we need to do it.
Cheers,
Scott.
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
Somewhat old news, but what did you all think of Antonio Brown’s hissyfit
danielx
@Suzanne:
Meth monster at a guess, but with the unknown crap people ingest these days, who the hell knows? I am sorry for the trauma undergone by you and your family.
Leslie
Oh, I had forgotten the anger translator. Damn. I know the man had his flaws, but stuff like that sure makes me miss him.
Leslie
Oh, geez, Suzanne. I left my comment without even scrolling through the thread. How awful for all of you.
Ksmiami
Eh. We have to come out swinging again Sinemanchin
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@Another Scott:
Hmm, why would Ted Cruz want to support sanctions against Putin?
I thought Russia was supposed to be our friend? /s
Oh, and they’d rather be Russians than Democrats
Eric S.
@Argiope: This is a great story and I’m putting your sister’s response in my repertoire.
Ms. Deranged in AZ
Liberal Redneck is my anger translator too!!! We both grew up in Tennessee and his accent sounds like home. We both grew up poor. Our moms played really important roles in our childhoods, more so than our dad’s. And he expresses all of my thoughts so colorfully. Almost makes me miss Memphis…almost.
Ascap_scab
It could only be Macho Man Randy Savage. RIP Mr. Poffo.
Macho Man Randy Savage
Ohio Mom
@Suzanne: My god, it’s taken forever for the insurance adjuster to show up. Living with all the reminders of that horrid night, all the broken things and the trail of blood — can’t be good for everyone’s mental health.
Connecting to the theme of the post, I’d be tempted, once the insurance company’s check has cleared, to find a new agent and carrier and scream at the now dropped ones for being so unresponsive and irresponsible. And leave nasty reviews all over the internet for good measure.
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@Suzanne:
So sorry you and your family had to go through that
Mai Naem mobile
@patrick II: IIRC secret service were deposed and/or gave testimony in front of congress during the Lewinsky affair so I don’t see what’s different here.
Chetan Murthy
@Mai Naem mobile: Surely you can’t expect the kind of SS agents who left an upper-decker at President Obama’s house (where they were graciously allowed to use the facilities) to rat out their Maximum Hair Furore ?
Mai Naem mobile
joel hanes
Nothing seems to be helping with anger/despair today.
I feel like Denethor looking into the Palantir
Mai Naem mobile
@Chetan Murthy: i doubt the SS has any loyalty towards TFG after spreading COVID to them and making them overwork, stretching them thin, making them protect his worthless children post 2020 etc etc
Chetan Murthy
@joel hanes: Amen, pass the bottle, bruv.
Chetan Murthy
@joel hanes: I remember back in 2015 and 2016, both here and at LG&M, it was regarded as pretty declasse’ to talk about the death of our political opponents. six-or-seven years later, and we talk&fantasize about it all the time, it’s one of our major sources of tension-release.
I do it a lot, but even I can recognize how unhealthy it is.
eclare
@danielx: Mine is Samuel L Jackson circa Pulp Fiction. “I’m trying to be the shepherd.”
joel hanes
You do it a lot these days, and you’re not alone.
It worries me, and I try never to make such comments myself.
I’m gradually deciding that if reading the internet makes me feel this way, maybe I should quit reading the internet.
Jay
@Chetan Murthy:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=V30tyaXv6EI
Yes, and no. Fantasy and imagination are different from plans and plots.
Life is not what it was.
Those whom we innocently thought were political opponents, have revealed themselves as bitter enemies of the basic foundations of our societies.
8 years ago, we claimed they had “authoritarian tendencies”, now we realize they are full on genocidal Nazis.
Chetan Murthy
@joel hanes: I don’t think it’s got much to do with the Internet. If I read these things in the print papers, they’d be just as awful, maybe even moreso, for being unable to find out more.
This is The Bad Place.
Tony Jay
@Gin & Tonic:
You’re welcome.
Seriously, though, I know there’s a valid argument that ranting about the evil that
men,people, the fuckers of the Right do is a waste of energy and even counterproductive, but getting that disbelieving rage out of my gut and onto a crisp white page always makes me feel so much better.Car-Thar-Tick
bjacques
Toast Of London, lately of Tinseltown.
or Ivan Dobsky (see YouTube)
Tony Jay
@bjacques:
Yes! When I’m reading back a screed it’s Matt Berry’s layered baritone I hear in my head.
But the Meatsafe Murderer? He was such a quiet and inoffensive boy until… oh, yeah.
OzarkHillbilly
I’m a union carpenter. I don’t need a translator.
MagdaInBlack
@OzarkHillbilly: That made me laugh out loud. I am quite sure you do fine all on your own ?
sab
6:25 am and pitbull finally went back to sleep. She was afraid that the latest cat (a sweety) was getting a march on her. Nitwit dog.
WereBear
@Ruckus: It’s not that tiny, though. President Truman attributed his leadership skills to this ability. “Men admire a good cusser.”
WereBear
@Tony Jay: And you do it with such droll turns of phrase. I always enjoy a Tony Jay (or John Cole) rant.
Those metaphors!
Tony Jay
@WereBear:
Thank you very much.
I’m afraid there may be more to come. More revelations today about Tory partying that implicate journalists and explain why Flobalob suddenly went into isolation yesterday.
They just won’t stop twisting my nipples. The bastards.
J R in WV
@Argiope:
OK, I love your sister like a brother, even tho I have never met her. That’s a wonderful reply to a shithead asking a really stupid and aggressive question. Thanks so much for sharing it with us, and pass my admiration on to your sister, please. You don’t have to mention that I’m a really old fart… I may have to use that if asked that question by some redneck dumb-ass.