I don’t know if produce deserts are a real thing, just riffing off the food desert, though I imagine it is the same thing because produce is the healthy shit people are missing. At any rate, you can’t find fresh papayas around here anywhere. The Aldi’s in Steubenville is the only place this side of Pittsburgh. So every time I go there, I get a couple.
At any rate, I heard that Gerald’s wife Landrea was going to Aldi’s, so I called and asked her to pick me up some. She had no idea what they looked like, so I described them to her, and she found them. I told her I wanted four, and she asked “Are you sure,” and I said yes. An hour later, Gerald came over hauling a large box with four of the largest fucking papaya’s I have ever seen. Like bigger than two liter bottles of soda.
I have never seen them that big before. Ever. They were fucking ginormous. And Landrea, having never seen them because they are not a thing really around here, had no idea what they normally look like and that these were just ridiculously big.
So I now have two enormous containers of papaya in my fridge, but I am up to the task.