Jason Bourne…suffers from anxiety and PTSD. He is also fictional. https://t.co/3ukcDrRjKd
— ThadStephensSuperFan (@humanoidsareus) May 22, 2021
Honestly, it’s liking watching someone talk about his kink at an after-work cocktail party. Whatever turns you on, dude — but this is *not* the venue. Cruz is reaching Dinesh D’Souza levels of middle-school masochism, where he cartwheels into an unrelated playground conversation and says Watch me eat a bug!… because even negative attention is better than no attention at all.
As the manliest soldier completed his 400th push-up, a woman presses a button, launching a hellfire missile from the Reaper high above.
“I bet he could’ve beat you up in the Octagon,” her colleague says.
“Probably,” she shrugs, lining up her next target. “Now we’ll never know.”— Nicholas Grossman (@NGrossman81) May 23, 2021
U.S. Army leaders rallied around a soldier featured in a recruitment video clip that Sen. Ted Cruz mocked as representative of an “emasculated military.” https://t.co/Gm5asadXj1
— Stars and Stripes (@starsandstripes) May 22, 2021
Actual Russian immigrants, on Cruz:
Vladimir Putin is a communist the way Ted Cruz is a conservative. Now they're both just opportunists. https://t.co/TqmiXoj7C6
— Garry Kasparov (@Kasparov63) May 23, 2021
A woman deciding to protect the freedoms and the life this country has given her is "a pansy" in Macho Ted's book.
A bunch of overmuscled Russians glowering menacingly for the sake of looking scary makes him hard.
This is what GOP is today. https://t.co/oXntFclXOA— Slava Malamud (@SlavaMalamud) May 21, 2021
I honestly can't believe you were ever a debate champion at Harvard. They must've been in a rebuilding year or something.
1) "Russian communists" are an impotent opposition to Putin's right-wing regime.
2) Russian soldiers are malnourished conscripts who build colonels' dachas. https://t.co/xp9sq9BG7F— Slava Malamud (@SlavaMalamud) May 22, 2021
5) I'll bet cash money, @tedcruz, that your expertise about fighting or toughness could comfortably fit in a cat's asshole.
You have never fought anyone in your life, you are an embarrassment to all American men, and I'll take any of our country's fighting women over you any time— Slava Malamud (@SlavaMalamud) May 22, 2021
MisterForkbeard
This place is a Bigfoot machine tonight.
Omnes Omnibus
The weakest service member to graduate from the least difficult training program in any branch of the military is exponentially tougher than Ted Cruz has ever been in his life.
aliasofwestgate
@Omnes Omnibus: Even the washouts from the latter parts of the training programs. Because staying in any boot camp for even part of the time is a huge challenge. I know this from experience, and i washed out because one of my ankles broke(grade 4 stress fracture) in the final ‘exam’ week of USAF boot. He’d never have the mental fortitude to make it a single week. Much less physically. It’d be too damned hard.
ruemara
The GOP have the weirdest fetishes.
Calouste
It could be that the Harvard debating team was rebuilding, or it could be that Harvard as an institution is overrated. There’s a lot of proof in the Senate for the latter.
Roger Moore
It’s always projection with Republicans. The people who are weakening our military are the idiots like Ted Cruz, who want to turn away people willing and able to serve because of their sexual orientation or gender identity.
Mary G
Teddy is so tough he left the country (and the family dog) because he couldn’t handle a power outage.
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
With first drawing days away, Ohio legislator seeks to stop Vax-A-Million lottery
“Small business relief grants”. ?
Oh, I’m sure that won’t be graft. You’ll never guess that Powell’s district has the one of the lowest vaccination rates in the state:
Her bill likely won’t pass the statehouse to have any effect, but I was honestly surprised by the Dems’ response. This type of lotto is also being done in NY. There’s evidence that it’s encouraged new vaccinations
Steeplejack
@MisterForkbeard:
Multiple tabs, dude. Multiple tabs.
Redshift
@ruemara:
Authoritarians all seem to fetishize manliness, and today’s GOP is no exception. Witness Kevin McCarthy (and many others) slobbering over what an amazing physical specimen TFG supposedly is.
Someone should ask Lyin’ Ted if he thinks TFG is as tough as the Russian soldiers in his beloved propaganda video, just try watch him squirm.
Jerzy Russian
If you have a finite set of numbers, one can prove there is always a largest, a smallest, etc. Given that there are a finite number of people on Earth, it is easy to show that Ted Cruz is the biggest asshole among them. What is amazing that even if there were an infinite number of people around, Ted Cruz would still be the biggest asshole among them. It seems the laws of mathematics partially break down when applied to Ted Cruz.
craigie
A better description there never was.
?BillinGlendaleCA
Sen. Cruz, if you want to find the terrorist who are trying to kill us, look in the mirror.
Adam L Silverman
Triple over time!!!!
Adam L Silverman
It is important to note and remember, that Cruz’s father did NOT flee the communists in Cuba. He actually immigrated to the the US while Batista was still in power. Then he made common cause with Castro and his supporters. When he went back to Cuba for a visit, the Batistaites imprisoned him. He somehow got out. I’ve seen it reported he claimed he wasn’t betraying Batista, but he was acting as a double agent somehow infiltrating the Castro movement. I’ve also seen it reported that he was betraying everyone on both sides; playing them off against each other. However he got himself out, he got back to Texas and back to college at UT.
Regardless, either he was a Castro supporter who betrayed them to save his ass from Batista, he was a Batista supporter that betrayed the Castro folks, or he was a double agent that betrayed everyone to save his own ass. Regardless, he’s not some uber Cuban patriot, nor is he someone who was somehow tyrannized by Castro’s communism. Most likely he was trying to be one of the people doing the tyrannizing on behalf of Castro.
BTW, this is not an uncommon fiction among the Cuban community in Florida. Both in Tampa and in Miami. I cannot tell you how many Cuban emigres to Florida who came her while Batista was still in power well before the revolution who claimed that they fled Castro’s communism. I had half a dozen of them as teachers in high school. And I know dozens more from when I lived in Miami. Marco Rubio has repeatedly been called out as a liar for telling the same fiction about his parents arrival in the US. And yet he still repeats it as part of his campaign stump speech.
?BillinGlendaleCA
@Adam L Silverman: The apple doesn’t fall very far from the tree.
Ruckus
@Omnes Omnibus:
We had a kid in boot camp that the chief would give the hardest time to because he really might have fit in a church camp summer school. If he had matured up a year or two. But he hung in there and graduated with the rest of us. I hope that all the bullshit he took there didn’t hurt him as bad as it looked like. He was far stronger than cruz. Also far better liked by his fellow humans.
Ruckus
@Jerzy Russian:
Mathematics is just fine. It’s cruz that is broken.
opiejeanne
Calling someone a pansy as an insult has struck me as odd since I started gardening many years ago. People who do that have never observed these plants. Pansies are tough little plants; they are so tough they will bloom under the snow and not die, and continue blooming after the snow melts. They are cheerful little flowers and they spit their seeds everywhere so that their “children” will carry on when their two years are up. Nothing soft about them.
Jay
@opiejeanne:
yurp,
?????
J R in WV
Marjorie Taylor Green has confessed to supporting the insurrection of Jan 6th, and wants her red state to secede from the USA. Perhaps if Sherman had hung more leaders of the secession in the 1860s we wouldn’t still have racist slavers who want to foment a second (or continuation of the first) secession.
This woman should be taken into custody tomorrow morning, based upon her own words posted to her Twitter account, expelled from the House of Representatives, barred from ever running for a political office anywhere in the USA, based upon her openly expressed support for secession, and calling for the violent overthrow of our democracy.
I’m pretty positive that it is illegal for any elected official to endorse secession or overthrow of our government. If it isn’t, it should be. What a miserable excuse for an elected official.
Dorothy A. Winsor
Doesn’t Cruz have anything better to do? I know Greene has been removed from all committees but Cruz is presumably still working as a senator.
Freemark
I only call Cruz ‘The Cancun Cuck’ when referring to him on social media anymore. I really want to get it to stick.
trnc
@Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): Not going to bat for Jena Powell here, but I personally thought the million dollar lottery jackpot was nuts. With only 5 chances to win out of potentially hundreds of thousands of “contestants,” the odds are probably too low for a lot of people. Some towns are having success offering beer that would cost $5. $1000 is a lot of money to most people and that would cover 5000 winners. I’d think those odds would be much more attractive to someone on the fence.
At the very least, I think it would have been much smarter to start with a relatively low prize and wait until that’s run it’s course, then introduce a higher prize.
PST
He wasn’t. He was a debate champion the way someone whose team wins the intramural tournament is a collegiate basketball champion. He did not participate in competitive policy debate, which is rigorous and difficult. He took part in dilettante stuff. Also he went to Princeton.
vigilhorn
I think it’s time for Ted Cruz to pose topless on a horse to prove how tough he is.
SFAW
@Ruckus:
“Fellow humans” vis-a-vis Traitor Ted? Is that like when Buscemi says “fellow kids”?
SFAW
@vigilhorn:
You are one sick mofo.
SFAW
@Dorothy A. Winsor:
Fixed
MontyTheClipArtMongoose
@PST: ted cruz as michael redd on the 2008 usa men’s basketball redeem team.
Mike in NC
After seeing those pictures of bloated Ted Crud at the airport in Cancun, can we just call him “Chubby Checker”?
Mel
@vigilhorn: Clawing out my eyes in 3…2…1…