I have a weakness for dead Republican politician twitters, and a couple of them had their A game going today.
I am honestly sorry to have associated hammers, one of mankind's fundamental tools, with Rubio, who has never built anything, never will, and would crush his own skull if you gave him one. https://t.co/Tdq7Kq0RN3
— Richard M. Nixon (@dick_nixon) March 4, 2021
There must be some political consultant who gives Republicans like Rubio, who can’t figure it out for themselves, shitposting lessons. That guy probably feels the same way as my piano teacher did when I’d come in for a lesson as a kid: can’t this dumb fuck learn anything?
America is about to find out how Jane Johnson feels during sex. https://t.co/2BKchIxE8v
— Senator Milton Young (@SenMiltonYoung) March 4, 2021
I know who writes Dick Nixon (playwright Justin Sherin), but I have no idea who writes Sen. Milton Young. My guess is some TV writer from North Dakota who lives in LA, because the ND references are solid, but they’re interspersed with SoCal references (Ralph’s, for example) that Young would never use.
Open thread.
BruceFromOhio
Oh Ron.
Ben Shapiro comes to mind. Also that stupid guy in the back of my American Literature class who would never shut the fuck up, no matter how many times he got shit on.
Ruckus
Considering your first sentence, it’s good that I actually read posts before I comment.
randy khan
Rubio thought the Geico cave man commercials were serious.
debbie
I have followed this Nixon guy for a long time, but I can’t figure out his issues with ‘Lil Marco.
Four Seasons Total Landscaping mistermix
@debbie: All I know is that guy really hates Rubio, and it’s a sight to see.
debbie
@Four Seasons Total Landscaping mistermix:
It’s fun, but it’s a bit unseemly for an ex-president, no? Or is he trying to out-T**** T****?
Benw
I had to read the Rubio tweet twice (tweece?) to believe it
mrmoshpotato
Oh for fuck’s sake! Can we just have Shithead Ted read Green Eggs and Ham again?
Patricia Kayden
Nice
trollhattan
Li’l Marco evidently lacks even one thing to do. So we get this, whatever it may be.
Chris T.
Actually, I thought the original remarks were insulting to Neanderthals.
mrmoshpotato
@Benw:
That part is gold. You can just feel the fauxtrage through the screen.
M. Bouffant
Not your fault, but it’s freakin’ Ralphs, no apostrophe! After founder George A. Ralphs. Not G.A. Ralph.
Four Seasons Total Landscaping mistermix
@debbie: Remember what Nixon said about Barbara Bush: she knew how to hate. He considered that a high compliment. I think that’s what’s going on with Rubio and @dick_nixon.
Four Seasons Total Landscaping mistermix
@M. Bouffant: Sorry, I’m from the Dakotas, not SoCal, so I would get that wrong. Senator Young also got it wrong, which is either evidence for my theory that he’s from ND and living in SoCal, or there’s some seven dimensional chess going on here.
Patricia Kayden
artem1s
why should the clerk read the bill? Make Johnson read the damn thing – if he can.
Frankensteinbeck
@mrmoshpotato:
I think the point is trolling. Rubio thinks that by applying it to neanderthals this way, he has made it clear how stupid liberal sensitivity to minority issues is. Certainly, a whole lot of conservatives (and far left misogynists) love that kind of joke/argument.
cain
I wish there was a headline that would have said “Sen Marco Rubio accuses most Asian and European Americans of being part Neanderthal”
cain
@Frankensteinbeck:
I thought it was a bit of shit posting since he was stalking about sensitivity training on bias. I think he must have gotten it recently.
He’s stupid AF. I hope two rabbits mutilate his face while copulating.
ETA: Oh.. My.. GOD.. #20. I’m.. feeling emotional right now.. I don’t think I’ve even gotten #20! This calls for a celebration!! I’m thinking a Southside Gin Gimlet – something from the roaring 20s!!
Snarki, child of Loki
Neanderthal’s had larger brains than H. Sapiens.
It’s probably why they just gave up and died out when they saw that critters like Dubya, Trump, and Rubio would be running things.
cain
@Snarki, child of Loki:
It just shows that the stupid beat them into extinction. It’s why we can’t have nice things. That’s why neanderthal thinking is bad, it leads to extinction!
debbie
@Patricia Kayden:
Hope Hawley sees that tweet. It will make him twitch even more!
feebog
I tweeted at the Hoarse Whisperer that Rubio’s tweet was so dumb twitter needed to be shut down and fumigated.
Uncle Cosmo
Micro Rubio, the
index caseprimary living representative (other than Mike Pence) of Homo stupiens stupidensismrmoshpotato
@Frankensteinbeck:
Fauxtrage, trolling, Rubio’s still an asshole. :)
mrmoshpotato
@cain:
You. Are. All. Ridiculous!
Baud
Joy Reid is having too much fun tonight.
MomSense
OT A small, theater restaurant here in Maine is virtually showing the movie Stray starting tomorrow. It looks amazing and is available from March 5-31. This restaurant/theater is a wonderful place trying to stay afloat. The film is well reviewed.
https://www.explorefrontier.com/event/stray/
japa21
@M. Bouffant: Next you’re going to tell me it’s Meijer, not Meijers.
Also, too: I am on Firefox and got the visual to work. First time in a long time.
M. Bouffant
@Four Seasons Total Landscaping mistermix: S’alright, plenty of people right here in SoCal make the same mistake.
germy
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@debbie: I’ve always figured it’s some fusion of Scherin’s own opinion of Rubio with an educated guess of what the old Orthogonian would’ve thought of the presumptuous little lightweight who tried to run for President
Jeffro
There’s ol’ RJ again, doing Putin’s work by jamming up the US government and Covid relief for its citizens.
Meanwhile, the KY legislature is looking into changing the law in case of the sudden departure of Senator Turtle…wouldn’t want that awful(ly amazing) Gov Beshear appointing a Democrat to fill that seat, now would we?
Eagerly anticipating the HR 1 vote in the Senate (I’ll read it out loud for you, Senator Johnson) and the 1/6 Truth and Retribution for Sedition Commission.
SiubhanDuinne
@Baud:
Joy Reid is possibly the only person in the world who looks fabulous in that shade of chartreuse.
David ? ☘The Establishment☘? Koch
Let’s dispel once and for all with this fiction that lil’ Marco doesn’t know what he’s doing. He knows exactly what he’s doing.
Jeffro
@germy: “I didn’t mean to hold the door for those bank robbers on their way in AND out of the bank, officer! And I surely didn’t mean it when I blamed the robbery on the tellers, bystanders, the media, and you…all of that was just…unwitting.”
dmsilev
@germy: Some GOP legislators are sufficiently stupid that even willing actions might reasonably be described as having been done “unwittingly”.
wvng
@Frankensteinbeck: yes, he was trolling.
germy
@Jeffro: @dmsilev:
Everything they do is unwitting. They are witless.
Spanky
I’m getting ads for Mutual Screw Supply. Apparently that’s a real thing, and where better to surface than BJ?
Jeffro
Rubio’s dumb, but even he got the memo that the GQP’s just doing culture war* and flat-out lying from now until the heat death of the universe. Can’t do anything to help constituents who are freezing, dying from a virus, can’t find a job, etc but they sure as hell can district, distract, distract.
*with apologies to the Chordettes, their one hit just popped into my mind…”culture war, culture war, oh cultu- cultu- cultu-…culture war, culture war, oh cultu- cultu- cultu-…” (complete with ‘POP’ at the end) But seriously, it may as well be the GQP’s theme song from here on out.
Mikeindublin
Stay thirsty my friend
Baud
This is a thing.
Old School
@Jeffro:
Mr. Sandman?
(Yes, I know which one you mean.)
Jeffro
@Old School: whoops…their other hit… ;)
Geminid
Beating Marco Rubio next year may have gotten a little bit tougher. The two term mayor of Boyton Beach in south Florida has filed papers for a “long shot” independent bid for Senate. He’s a young guy, termlimited out of his job, who says he is running against the “duopoly.”
Just One More Canuck
@randy khan: and that the Flintstones were a documentary
Uncle Cosmo
@germy: “Unwittingly” my royal Italian arse. Try “halfwittingly.”
cain
@mrmoshpotato:
I hope I win prize for this kind of shit posting :-)
cain
@SiubhanDuinne:
Which one? green or yellow chartreuse.. both are wonderful. I have a yellow one in my cocktail right now. It’s happy hour you know.
cain
I read that as dope-poly
Amir Khalid
Yesterday, when I suggested that Republican use Biden’s Neanderthal-shaming as a talking point against him, I was kidding. I swear it. You guys know I do that, right? I mean, it never crossed my mind that they’d actually go and do it.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
SFAW
@Amir Khalid:
Mein Freund, you know that with great power comes great responsibility. You should use yours for good, not for giving RWMFs and morons like Marco el Pequeno (assume a tilde) something with which they can troll.
Or something.
BruceFromOhio
@cain: Nicely done, thank you.
Mo Salad
@cain: Barry Sanders nods in approval.
Eta – HEINZ-KERRY!
Mo Salad
@Amir Khalid: From the guy who, based on geography, probably has Denisovan DNA remnants instead of Neanderthal, I’m not so sure about that.
Mo Salad
@Spanky:
In Livonia up here, we have a Quality Screw Products that you pass by on I-96.